


Into The Abyss

by PhoenixStar73



Series: facilis descensus Averno [1]
Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: A character will need rescue, A major character's life hangs in the balance, Angry Magnus Bane, Assassination Attempt(s), BAMF Magnus Bane, Cursed, Dark journeys for Malec both separately and together, Deal With the Devil, Depression, Emotional Magnus Bane, Episode: s03e10 Erchomai, Erratic behavior, Eventual Smut, Gen, Heavy Angst, Hurt Alec Lightwood, M/M, Magnus is without his magic, Magnus will do anything for Alec, Post-Episode: s03e10 Erchomai, Protective Magnus Bane, Sacrifice, Self-Sacrifice, Situational Humiliation, Someone will have a happy ending, Visual Hallucinations, auditory hallucinations, connecting on a soul level, everything comes with a price, implied drugging, references Episode s03e14 Kiss from a Rose
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-13
Updated: 2020-12-03
Packaged: 2020-12-13 16:44:08
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 18
Words: 93,367
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21000896
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PhoenixStar73/pseuds/PhoenixStar73
Summary: SUMMARY: The Owl has been decimated by Magnus after his return from Edom, but the Shadow World is in shambles. Alec is left fighting for his life. Magnus now has no magic, but he hasn't returned quite the same either.When Alec takes a turn for the worst, Magnus swears to do anything to protect and save him, but to what end?





	1. This Wasn't The Way Things Were Supposed to Turn Out

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Nadja_Lee](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nadja_Lee/gifts), [brightasstars](https://archiveofourown.org/users/brightasstars/gifts).

> This is a VERY canon divergent s3ep10 story with characters very OOC at times.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> If only he had gotten back sooner...

“You think you can beat me?” Jace sneered, his eyes cold and focused on the archer, who had unglamoured and drawn his bow and arrows from behind his shoulder. 

“I know that’s not you Jace,” Alec stated firmly. “We are going to get you out of there.” He carefully set up his bow as he was trained to do as a young Nephilim, and drew the string back.

Jace cackled,” Yea, just remember...you hurt this body you hurt Jace, the one you love.” 

A grotesque smile formed on Jace’s face, and Alec winced, looking away. 

He had to remember that Jace was currently possessed by the Owl, controlled by Lillith, and the real Jace, according to Magnus, was locked away in a mental cage inside his own mind -- scared out of his mind. 

He had actually caught a glimpse of this, when he and Izzy had all attempted to enter Jace’s mind to draw him out, via a ritual Magnus had attempted with his Warlock Magic, 

They had each encountered a younger Jace, who was scared, and they both did their best. 

But ultimately they had became separated, which had become their downfall. 

Separately they had run out of time, the Owl had beat them at their game, and kicked them out before they were able to do this. 

In a fit of desperation, after Alec had broken down last night, rambling about how he needed to personally kill Jace in order to stop all this destruction, Magnus had ultimately taken it upon himself to go to Edom. 

That was the last place Magnus had wanted to return to, given the horrid experience he had when he was just a little boy, and blinded by loyalty to his father, Asmodeus.

The Prince of Edom.

Alec shut his eyes briefly as he replayed the course of events. 

Even though it had been for the greater good, a big part of him still regretted not stopping Magnus from leaving. 

Although, to be fair, Magnus had left out very important information regarding the last part of the ritual he had been performing yesterday afternoon, and it had left him in emotional upheaval. 

_So much so, he couldn’t even focus…_

_~flashback~_

_Alec watched as Magnus carefully laid out the pentagram on the floor of the loft, and meticulously poured a thin level amount of red Edomic sands along the lines of the Pentagram. _

_ Magnus had disclosed that he could ask his father for help in getting the Owl out of Jace, and so this spell was supposed to assist them with that . _

_Granted, Alec was not thrilled at the idea of having a Greater Demon in NY, but the Owl was a greater matter, and besides the members of the NY Institute, along with Magnus, would be standing ground, ready to fight any threats that might arise from this. _

_This was far from a perfect plan. But it seemed like the only available option they had now…_

_Magnus finally finished laying the foundation of the pentagram, and stepped inside. _

_Heexamined all sides to make sure the sands were distributed evenly. _

_Alec looked at his lover, wondering what he was up to._

_“So, what do we do now?” he asked._

_Magnus did not meet his eyes when he spoke next. _

_“There is one thing I did not tell you. This spell we are doing, this does not bring anyone from Edom topside."_

_He gulped, his voice trailing off at the end. Alec’s eyes focused directly on Magnus at the change in tone._

_“This is for someone to go to Edom—”_

_Alec’s eyes widened._

_“Absolutely **not**,” Alec stated empathically. _

_Of all the things!!! he thought. _

_Magnus detested his father, and as he had confided to Alec in the past, he was more vulnerable to forces within Edom, and especially if his father was around._

_He grabbed Magnus’ shoulder; he was scared for him._

_“So what else do you suggest that we do?” Magnus challenged him, as he stepped out of the pentagram and closer to Alec._

_ “Do you prefer that I act as scared as I feel?” _

_He leaned forward and cupped Alec’s chin in his hands and looked into his worried hazel eyes._

_“Tell me Jace isn’t worth it,” Magnus stated, looking at Alec intently. _

_ Alec swallowed hard. _

_That almost sounded like a challenge, an ultimatum. _

_At that moment, conflict between wanting to save Jace, and wanting his lover to be safe and nowhere near the colossal disaster that was Edom, swirling in his mind. _

_ He just couldn’t think straight. He felt lightheaded._

_His mind drew a blank._

_“Ah, I thought so.” Magnus smiled, with a resigned look on his face. _

_His eyes, however, still held a look of love. _

_Of course Alec would think Jace was worth this, they were parabatai, and losing him would make Alec lose a part of himself. And Magnus certainly did not want that to happen. _

_The last time they had almost lost Alec, he himself had almost died emotionally. _

_And Magnus did offer, right? _

_I always offer to put myself into these situations, don’t i? he thought, briefly laughing hysterically at his willingness to do something this crazy for Alec. _

_But he did not want to look crazy in front of Alec, who looked like he was about to faint from worry. _

_Instead, Magnus nodded, and stepped back from Alec, back into the pentagram. _

_He looked away, not wanting to see Alec’s worried face and having that as his last memory of him._

_Alec somehow quietly ended up just inches from Magnus’s face at that moment. _

_He gazed into his lover’s eyes._

_“You will make it back,” Alec insisted. The intense look he gave Magnus took his breath away, and he choked back a sob. _

_He was so good at it, it was soundless, and Alec’s face did not waver or crumple._

_Did he really believe that? Magnus thought sadly. _

_ He tried to put on a brave face for his lover’s sake. _

_“Of course I will,” he reassured Alec, half lying through his teeth. “look what I have waiting here for me.” _

_That at the very least was true. _

_ Alec would always be his emotional anchor to this world, no matter what. _

_Their eyes were both glistening as their lips met in a tender kiss, of longing, and of promise._

_Magnus stepped back, and activated the spell with a flourish. _

_Alec flinched as Edomic fires burst up from the pentagram. _

_Magnus gingerly stepped inside…and the heat began to consume him. _

_He started wincing, and Alec’s heart dropped. Magnus looked so uncomfortable. _

_“I—I love you A-Alexander,” he stated, blocking a flame from hitting his face while he looked at his lover. _

_Alec’s heart leaped, that was the very first time Magnus had initiated a “I love you” to him._

_“I love you too Magnus,” Alec stated._

_Before his eyes, Magnus appeared to melt into the pentagram. _

_His screams reverberated throughout the loft._

_Alec could not take the sound of suffering – he held his hands over both ears, and he sunk onto his knees, and shut his eyes._

_What had he done?_

*********************

_~Present time~_

An arrow was held up, as a sign of victory.

Jace/Owl cackled merrily, as Alec just stared at that lost opportunity. He had missed. Of all the fucking times to miss, Alec thought in dismay.

“Is that all you’ve got, Archer?” the Owl howled. He vanished into thin air.

All of a sudden, the Owl reappeared in front of Alec. And so did a pincher, plunging straight through his right shoulder blade. 

Toxic ichor spread into Alec’s skin, now riddled with black goo which seemed to spread through the wound. 

Alec screamed. 

The Owl laughed at hearing his torment. 

“Ah, Jace, the one in the cage, is crying his eyes out watching this. ‘Don’t do this, please don’t do this to him,” he mocked.

“Do what?” The Owl said, although the phrase seemed rhetorical, as it he was talking to himself.

The Owl smiled. 

In numbing pain, Alec faintly saw the Owls fist glow with edomic red fire…then the fist reeled back. 

Alec realized with sickening realization that it was coming directly at him.

The red fire surrounded his head and face, the sheer horror of this made Alec _scream --_

But strangely he did not feel any pain or burning from the flames…

_But --_

He did feel the force knocking him off of his feet, and his chest hurt as if someone punched him hard – so hard he lost his breath.

He could tell he was flying backwards. 

Ugh his chest hurt so badly. There were screams in the air, horrid heartbreaking ugly sounds…

_By that time, Alec would not even be able to tell that the screams were coming from himself… _

_Everything was all jumbled together... The sensations... the force with which his body flew backwards -- _

_\-- unparalleled ---!_

_...the pressure on his body was crushing him like a vice..._

_Suddenly he was aware of three things simultaneously -- that he had come to a sudden, very hard stop--!, accompanied with immense pain, and a loud craaaaaaack with pain coming from his head. _

_Something wet and sticky slowly rolled down his forehead, down his nose, onto his lips. Into his mouth. He winced at the metallic taste, coughing it out. _

_It kept coming, dripping slowly into his mouth. It wouldn’t’ stop. _

_It just wouldn't stop. _

_His vision blurred..._

Alec also had ultimately passed out from the trauma to the head…

******

In the distance, Jace/The Owl grinned maniacally, relishing his victory. 

The Jace trapped in the cage within the Owl’s mind, just stared straight ahead into space, as if catatonic, his shoulders slumped as if the last thing keeping him alive had just _died_.

*****************

_Down the city block just a few feet away..._

A line of glowing review fire suddenly appeared, slowly growing larger in height, and then broadening into a firey red portal. 

Magnus stepped out…just to feel a strong whoosh of a heavyset object being propelled past him. The whiplash had been so powerful, even Magnus had been jerked back a few feet back by the action. 

He willed his magic to keep him steady. 

_But what the hell was that? _

There was a huge crash, with the impact making a large cracking sound in the concrete wall behind him. 

He turned to see what was it that had flew past him.

He immediately regretted it. 

Alec’s tall, pale figure -- his Alec!! – seemed embedded into the cracked wall at the end of the street, before sliding down slowly from the wall, crumpling into a heap on the ground. 

He had a huge gash on his forehead, blood was dripping steadily from it. 

And he just lay on the ground like a limp, rag doll. 

His head, which had been straight, flopped to the side. He lay there in a heap on the ground, unmoving. 

“_ALEC!!!!”_ Magnus screamed in anguish.

A cackle came from a distance. 

Magnus oriented on the source of it.

It was Jace -- still the Owl -- grinning his ugly grin. 

Still cruel and unyielding.

Anger grew within Magnus as he put his hands together, and the glamor to his eyes fell.

A huge fireball worthy of Edom involuntarily formed in between his hands, and it made a beeline for Jace. 

It threw him to the wall on the other side, and the Owl was unconscious. 

Minutes later, the figure moved again, and then sounds of retching and black goo came out of Jace’s mouth as he heaved and spit out the nastiness.

As the last of it came out, Jace lifted his weary head to look into the distance. 

The expression on his face indicated that he was witnessing the most horrid thing he could ever have imagined.

"A-Alec?” Jace whispered in horror.

Magnus was not even paying attention to Jace. His gaze was entirely upon Alec. 

A motionless, pale Alec. A lifeless Alec.

This was Magnus’s worst nightmare. He fell onto his knees, and screamed to the heavens.

He had come back, too late. 

And now, he was without the very thing that could even remotely save Alexander. That is, if Alexander was even still alive.

_His magic…was gone._

*****************

_He was running._

Huffing and puffing, Magnus managed to reach the steps of the Infirmary, his heart pounding in his chest.

He was so out of breath.

How many city avenues had that been? He lost track after the 4th one. 

He had never needed to walk or run to places since he was so used to summoning a portal.

But with his magic gone, he no longer had any of these useful items at his disposal.

_Lilith_, he thought, his chest heaving, how do Mundanes get from place to place like this?

He bent down, trying to catch his breath.

Thank goodness Jace had had just enough strength at the scene to lift Alec and use his speed and strength runes to bring Alec to the Infirmary. 

Moments later, his phone had buzzed.

"Alec is in Room 999," Jace's text had said.

Managing to push the heavy institute doors open, he stumbled in. A few Shadowhunters around Ops looked up, nodding at him in acknowledgement. 

He took a deep breath, and started walking quickly toward the Infirmary.

Magnus ran through the halls of the infirmary, he tried keeping track of the room numbers.

_Room 996, 997, 998..... _

He prayed that bright hazel eyes would be lively, with crinkles at the edge, beckoning and playful. The one that he loved.

_Ah, the room was at the end of the hall._

As he approached, he could make out a deep voice speaking.

“I’m sorry...Maryse, that’s all we have for you right now. The heartbeat is still strong, but the brain activity is inconsistent. He took quite a blow to the head. He will need to be monitored. He could wake up tomorrow...or if the pressure around his brain intensifies, he may never wake up.”

Magnus _fainted_.


	2. Delusions and Visions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Having returned to the Shadow World, the now-powerless Magnus is experiencing some side effects from his stay in Edom, wavering between memories and visions, and time lapses which were intially wiped after portaling back. 
> 
> Exacerbated by his worry over Alec's current condition, he's tripping between levels of consciousness as these come back full force. 
> 
> Also he's noted the minute change in personality. He doesn't know if this visions are real, or fake/if his mind is playing tricks on him right now...

_Wow, it was unbearably hot in here, Magnus’s brain registered, as his senses slowly came back._

_Hmm the hallway had not felt nearly this hot – the hallway where he had been walking in, and had come upon Maryse and the doctor, talking. _

Still semi-conscious, Magnus stirred, but noticed he was not able to move his hands for some reason.

They were stuck. 

What were they stuck on? he wondered. 

Slowly, he started to feel better, and attempted to sit up. He needed to find out what happened with Alec – what the doctor knew for now. 

The dr had said something to Maryse, but what? 

For the life of him, he could not remember at the moment.

Also it was so damn _hot _\--! _Why was it so hot?_ he wondered, getting annoyed. It was getting to the point of being uncomfortable! 

He attempted to get up again, but his hands were _still_ stuck, preventing him from moving around. Getting impatient, he started jostling his hands again a bit more violently – suddenly banging the sides of his hands against something metal, which appeared to enclose both hands. 

_Metal shackles??_

His eyes flew open to the red sky overhead, fires burning everywhere, as a low rumble filled his ears, along with faraway shrieking sounds that he thought he would never need to hear again.

“Well, that certainly didn’t go well,” a voice chuckled, with a tinge of sympathy. 

The voice was all too familiar. 

Shocked, Magnus turned in the direction of the voice. 

The tall dark, brooding figure with the cat eyes too like his own. Asmodeus. He was looking at him, with an expression which almost resembled sympathy. 

Alarmed, Magnus started thrashing around. 

“Father! Get these off me!” He thrashed around helplessly, the shackles holding him still. “What happened??? I was in the Infirmary before! How did I get here?” he demanded. 

As he looked down, he realized there was red magic sizzling between his fingers. 

_Wait, hadn't he lost his magic upon freeing Jace before?_

“You bounced right back into Edom, my son. I’ve never even seen that before. You tried to portal out of Edom, but it didn’t work. You flew backward, and I caught you. You were thrashing around so much, yelling for your Alexander, and I had to restrain you because the red magic was flying out all over the place like lightning.” 

He gestured toward the magic.

“I’m not sure what’s going on. Your magic seems out of control, son," he mused.

“Father, I need to go defeat the Owl, he’s going to kill Alec!” Magnus pleaded, growing more hysterical by the second. 

The visual of Alec flying past him, all bloody and unconscious, kept replaying in his mind like a neverending loop. 

Asmodeus shrugged.

“What do I care if your Nephilim lover dies? He’s half _Mundane._ He’s not even anything when compared to us. We are _royals._ You should be ruling at my side, with a worthy consort of your choosing. You could have anyone you desire. Your combined powers would be worthy enough to rule over the demonic plane after I step down,” he declared.

"No! I would rather die!” Magnus shrieked, continuing to thrash around, while muttering phrases under his breath. 

Asmodeus laughed.

“There’s no use in trying to undo those shackles. You might have noticed that your magic seems weaker right? They are designed to do that. Otherwise your magic was bursting out in all directions. The shackles are spelled with an ancient spell that you would not even begin to know how to undo. Anyway, you are a danger to anyone around you, being in that condition. We will need to place you somewhere where you won’t do any damage, while I figure this out...” 

Asmodeus flicked his finger. _Poof!_

Suddenly it was dark, and Magnus was alone, standing in a room, his hands still shackled together. _OH NO!_

He kept willing his magic into the shackles, trying to break them apart, even though he knew it was useless. They kept his hands bound, together. The room had bars all around, and gruesome hellhounds guarding the room. 

One of Edom’s many dungeons. 

“Father!! Let me out of here!!! ” Magnus roared. 

He shut his eyes and shrieked, the sparks from the red magic completely engulfing the shackles, his roars reverberating to the high heavens, the sounds seeming to echo out for miles, the scream vibrating throughout the land, then back toward him and rattling the bars of the dungeon, like some cruel cosmic joke. 

He shrieked and shrieked, until his lungs gave out.

Feeling weak and dizzy, he slid to the floor, half-conscious of the cold metal floor of the dungeon...

A hand touched Magnus’s arm. He flinched, screaming.

“Magnus! Magnus!”

It was a woman’s voice. It sounded so oddly warm and familiar. 

He opened his eyes, and winced at the bright white light, then at the face, half covered in shadows. 

It was Maryse Lightwood, her eyes full of concern. Behind her, it was the doctor, also looking down at him. 

The room was dimly light. 

“Maryse?” Magnus murmured. “What happened?”

Tentatively he rotated his wrists. No shackles. Wow that was vivid, Magnus thought, his eyes widening, as images from his brain started playing back. 

It had seemed so real, him being trapped in Edom. 

And his father’s voice! 

Egad, not something he wanted to experience again, not for a long time…_not ever_.

“We saw you arrive in the hallway, and then you just looked at the both of us, and collapsed,” Maryse said. 

Magnus attempted to sit up. Immediately the doctor came forth, his arms outstretched to steady him.

“Slowly, your body just went through slight trauma, you don’t want to collapse again,” the doctor said. 

Magnus suddenly felt a sharp pain in his head.

“I don’t feel too great,” he murmured, putting his hand to his head.

He looked at Maryse, who had reached out and was now caressing the side of his face tenderly. 

He leaned into it, sighing. 

A few years ago, this situation would have been unheard of. Maryse Lightwood had been considered one of his many adversaries, well actually more like she considered and the rest of the Downworld adversaries, due to her position in the Circle under Valentine, and then her position at the New York Institute.

But now, ever since he had been steadily seeing Alec, and her being deruned, her personality had changed considerably, for the better. Now she viewed Magnus like a son. 

It was still quite overwhelming at times, and he had to keep pinching himself to make sure he was not dreaming.

Speaking of which…

He waved his hands around experimentally. As expected, no sparks came out. Nor did he feel any sort of buzzing sensation under his skin anymore. 

Of course, it was as his father had proclaimed, it being the condition he agreed upon in gaining enough power to free Jace from the Owl. 

His father had taken his magic for himself. 

Suddenly he remembered_. _

_Alec…_

“How’s Alec doing?” he asked in an urgent tone. 

He was feeling dizzy again upon the thought of Alec. 

Maryse and the doctor turned to look at him, and their faces swam in front of his eyes.

He blinked, trying to stay focused…_He couldn’t…_

_~vision?~_

Magnus shook his head to clear himself of the dizziness. Now he was back in the dungeon, hands shackled, Edom screaming around him. Around his shackles, the magic sizzled, but was definitely fading out, along with the buzzing underneath his skin. 

He sensed Asmodeus looming about. 

“Why don’t you come out from the shadows, Father,” he said haughtily. “It’s beneath you to be creeping around.” 

The cat eyes so similar to his own emerged, followed by the rest of the majestic dark figure.

“You seem more stable today. I think we can remove the shackles,” Asmodeus said.

He flicked his wrist. 

The shackles did not budge. 

Magnus looked down at them. What the hell? he thought, looking up at his father furiously.

Was he messing around with him? 

Asmodeus looked inquisitively at the shackles. _ Hmm...a flick of the wrist should have done it..._

_Boom!_ The shackles exploded, sending both Magnus and Asmodeus flying a few feet away. They landed on their sides, out of breath. 

"What the ---" Asmodeus spoke first, and Magnus looked at him blankly. 

"Uh, you weren't responsible for that, father?" he asked slowly. 

He picked himself up, massaging both his wrists, looking down at the telltale red marks left by the shackles.

Asmodeus shook his head. 

Well, that was weird, Asmodeus thought, looking at the shackles curiously.

Ah no matter, he thought, filing the thought away. They had more pressing matters at hand....

“You are still intent on saving the Nephilim?” his father asked. “Last chance, as you can retain your magic if you stay down here and rule by my side…”

“Well, the original intent was _not_ to save Alec,” Magnus said slowly, looking down briefly as he winced at these sudden –_new? _– visions of a wrecked Alec on a loop. 

_Please say that Edom and my father’s wrath put those images into my head. Please, _he thought desperately. 

He looked up, putting on a steel face as he continued speaking to his father.

“It is concerning the Owl; that entity is affecting all of us, he is currently in Alec’s parabatai, Jace. Lillith is controlling him. You know she is up there,” Magnus stated. 

Asmodeus paused and a thoughtful expression crossed his face. 

“Ah, no wonder things in Edom have felt lighter lately. So the Queen is not here, focused on personal matters…" 

He paused, then looked at Magnus intently. 

"Ah emotions, they will always get the better of you,” he said. 

He looked at Magnus with an intense stare. “So you will go back up there, to cast the Owl out, and then to banish both the Owl and Lillith back down here?”

Magnus looked puzzled.

“There’s no way to banish Lillith…” he began.

Just then, a horrifying scream – female from the sound of the voice -- tore across the land. 

Asmodeus had a constipated look on his face, wrinkling his nose, as if something was not agreeable to him.

“Ah speak of the fallen,” he said in an ironic tone. “Guess who was just banished here. The garbage is back. Hmm, I feel the echoing sensations of the Mark of Cain too, I guess that was activated by some fool. Or should I say, accidentally activated, as most who receive it unintentionally usually have no idea of the power they wield, until they accidentally kill one of their friends…” 

Asmodeus grinned evilly at the thought, while Magnus thought he was going to throw up. 

He hoped none of his friends had been caught in that blast. 

From what he had heard of it, that usually would decimate anything within 20 miles of the site.

“I figured it out!” Asmodeus suddenly clapped his hands gleefully. “I know why you were bounced back to Edom! It was the fireball that the Owl threw at your precious Nephilim. You can’t have two powerful forces of Edom operating at the same time!”

_The fireball…!_

Magnus’s eyes widened.

Suddenly the visions in his head grew clearer. 

The vision of Alec being propelled as if some unearthly force had thrown him back. He had been thrown back by the Owl’s fireball! _I_

_f only he had activated that portal sooner, he could have saved him from injury…_

Magnus suddenly could not deal with the guilt that quickly overcame him. He sank to the ground and screamed.

Asmodeus looked at him with pity, a smirk playing around his lips. “Ah, my boy, I see you were too late, eh? The Owl interfered with your ability to return.” 

Dammit, why was Asmodeus able to read his mind? Magnus thought, getting more and more enraged by the minute. 

“Regardless,” Magnus said through gritted teeth, to the point of snarling.

He felt his gold cat eyes intensify with his rage.

He looked around as the sound of roaring flames and shrieking demons that was ever increasing in crescendo. Edom was rather active today, he mused, hearing the sound of demonic activity.

Then he looked directly at his father and spoke, slowly and deliberately.

**“FATHER. ** **_I need _ _t__o go back.” _ **

Magnus's eyes were full on fire-red now, as he silently held his father's gaze. 

_Suddenly Asmodeus heard these words inside his head, as if emanating straight from Magnus, but in a ragged demonic whisper:_

_"Don't underestimate my standing in Edom. _

_Your days are numbered...."_

Asmodeus shook internally.

Dumbfounded, he stared at his son.

_Did he just imagine those words, spoken quietly as if as a threat! _

He then just **stared** at his son just then, surprise registering on his face, as he stumbled in response to the ground trembling a bit. He had never seen the red in his son’s eyes before, or heard the extra timbre/bass in his voice.

And did the ground just tremble because Magnus spoke? He was not sure. 

_An unfamiliar feeling of fear surged through him_, which he dampened with the quickness. 

Lifting his eyes to face Magnus with a stoic expression, he silently continued to assess his son in front of him. Magnus seemed oblivious to all of it, he just stood there, silently facing him, with fists clenched at his sides. 

**Challenging him**.

This was beyond anything he would have expected, in a warlock, even that with Edomic heritage. 

Those red eyes, along with this heightened sense of something about him, could actually have the potential to destroy him someday, if Magnus was so inclined.

_Well_, he thought, _things just got infinitely more interesting._

But it would be prudent to keep this important piece of information to himself at the moment.

_Incidentally, Magnus did not seem to know about his increased level of power. _

He had never felt this type of vibe off Magnus before.

Idly Asmodeus's thoughts went to the magic dampening shackles that had been on Magnus's wrists the last few days. Magnus had put up such a fight, trying to get them off, using his magic to do so. 

In his desperation, the magic had turned red and he had gotten angry and impatient doing so. Seems like when Magnus did that, the magic had partially fused with the shackles. Removing them abruptly usually had no lingering consequences; but however, spelled with dark magic, and sometimes the dark magic would also infuse into the one who had been using them last. 

The one using them last, being Magnus. 

This type of infusion also had the potential to go beyond the magic and seep into the individuals's soul and stay there permanently. 

At this point Asmodeus had no idea which turn this would take. 

As it was, there was red and black sparks emanating from Magnus right now, along with a dark cloud which had started forming above Magnus, and was threatening to spread further across the sky...in the distance, demons shrieked in horror, causing Asmodeus to jump.

_Holy crap,_ Asmodeus thought, his eyes widening.

His power was literally slaughtering lesser demons in the realm inadvertently, which is what happened sometimes when power was unleashed that was uncontrolled by its user. 

Asmodeus could feel the potential vibrating from within Magnus...

If Magnus knew of the unlimited potential...and _unleashed the power to its ultimate strength,_ it could have great destructive potential. To not only Asmodeus, but potentially to Edom itself...

**He needed to put a stop to it - now!**

He held up his hands.

“Okay, okay, my boy,” he stated, pretending to sound magnanimous. "You can go back. But remember our deal.”

He held out his hands to Magnus. 

Magnus gulped, then nodded. He grabbed his father’s hands. Asmodeus started chanting something, his mouth moving quickly, as his cat eyes flickered and then went almost neon yellow. Magnus felt a surge run through his entire body, then rush out from his head, body, then arms like a raging current. 

_Magnus’s vision faded to black…_

_~(back in the real world, suddenly stumbling through a portal)~_

_Hey! How did he get here, again? _

_~!! Whoosh!! ~_

_As Magnus was knocked back by that blast, something wet splattered on his cheek, and even before Magnus opened his eyes to the horrible view about to unfold in front of his eyes, and without any memory of the time he had in Edom except for the deal he made with his father--_

_he had a sickening feeling he already knew what – or who -- just flew past him_

_...Alexander..!!_

_**Had he seen that vision while in Edom??** He had not recalled the first time around -- but if that second vision had been an indication..._

** _THEN HE HAD KNOWN!!!!_**

_Why hadn't he remembered those things the first time around? Did his father erase his memories? _

_ **How much time had passed exactly between the first time he had attempted to come back to Earth, thrown back into Edom, and then back again just now? It had seemed like an eternity...but now it seemed like his dad had somehow affected time...** _

_ **Lillith...** _

_**Could he have prevented this? ** _

_Could he have prevented Alec from getting hurt, from being laid up in that hospital bed --_

The guilt crushed his very soul. 

Magnus threw back his head and roared in anguish---!!

***************

_In the Infirmary..._

_"_Magnus! Magnus, stop!”

Strong arms were holding both of his wrists, but it was another male voice. His eyes opened, and slowly focused on a worried Jace, whose heterochromatic eyes looked upon his face. 

_ **Not hazel eyes.** _

Which were the only eyes he wanted to see. 

_Get the fuck away from me Jace_, he thought, irritated. _ I don't want to see you right now_. 

Jace recoiled. "What did you say?" he asked tersely.

"What? I didn't say anything Jace," Magnus said, pasting on a smile. 

"No, I heard you," Jace stated, looking at Magnus with a confused yet angry look. "You said for me to get the fuck away from you."

"What? I don't recall speaking! Oh my god, Jace, you can be so annoying!" Magnus cried without thinking. 

Jace's eyes widened, and his eyes started to glisten.

Oh man, Magnus thought. I can't believe I did that..._Oh yes you did, and you meant it!_ "I'm sorry Jace," he said with some difficulty. It's been a crazy stressed out day for me, I think I need some rest. I didn't mean to project it on you." He was starting to feel a bit sleepy.

Jace fixed him with an unreadable look, then nodded stiffly. "Maybe we all need some rest." He turned to leave.

"Wait, Jace." Jace turned to face him. "I want to see Alexander. Is he awake?" he murmured.

"No changes," Jace said without turning around. He was about to walk out of the room, and then he turned back. Magnus was already sound asleep. 

Wow, Jace thought, Magnus must be really exhausted, that wasn't even a minute.


	3. In-Between Spaces

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alec is awake, and is thrilled that Magnus is back. Everything seems just fine.  
Or are they...?

Alec's head was **_killing _**him. _Egad, the pain…_

The infirmary room lights were stark fluorescent white, too blinding, especially for someone just waking up. They ought to switch those out, Alec thought, as he blinked a few times, trying to get his vision adjusted to the light.

He looked down at himself; he was wearing a typical hospital gown, lying on a bed in the infirmary, his arm hooked to an IV. He shifted his body around in the bed, and pain echoed in every movement. 

Ugh that Owl sure got him good, he thought wryly.

He recalled how arrogant the demon had looked, holding up the arrow he had shot at him, then the pincher from his claw driving straight into his shoulder. He looked down, that area was bandaged, with dark red fluid stil half oozing out of the bandage. 

Hm that definitely needed to be changed soon. 

And then that fireball! 

That had come out of nowhere, knocking the wind out of him. Even now, his chest hurt a bit when he took deep breaths. 

His hand moved to his head. He could feel the top half of his face swathed in bandages, all around. The pain was more prominent in the back, and he was glad that he had not been conscious to feel the impact. It was so painful now, he couldn’t even imagine right afterwards. 

The room was eerily dark and quiet, except for the beeping of machines…

Suddenly, Magnus was in front of him, looming larger than life, with an odd ethereal glow about him today.

But then again, Alec reasoned, Magnus always did seem like he was beyond most beings on this Earth... “Alexander! They said you were awake! Thank god!” he exclaimed. 

Alec’s favorite melodious voice – a sound he had waited way too long to hear again.

“Magnus,” he rasped, his eyes not leaving the glittery warlock.

He scanned him up and down.

“Wow you are a sight for sore eyes,” Alec murmured, taking in Magnus’s highlighted magenta hair against his natural black, black waistcoat, tight black leather pants and necklaces.

He lifted the necklaces with a finger.

“Hmm you haven’t worn these in awhile,” he said huskily. 

Magnus preened, grinning widely. “Just like you remembered, eh?” he said.

Alec peered at him. Magnus’s voice sounded a bit strange, kinda halting. 

And his makeup looked a bit different than what he remembered.

“Oh, you are wearing your eye shadow again,” he observed, reaching up to touch Magnus’s cheek.

Something dropped then, and Magnus moved aside to pick it up, so Alec’s hand was posed in mid-air. Hmm, that’s strange, he thought, now feeling silly that his hand was touching just air. 

Magnus never shied away from a touch before. 

Oh well, maybe it was just coincidental, he thought. 

The warlock was still smiling at him, even though he had not moved to take his hand or anything.

“I missed you so much,” Alec continued huskily.

“And I wanted to apologize for making you go down to Edom. As soon as you disappeared through the flames, I regretted it immediately. If I could take it back, I would take it back completely,” he stated truthfully, his eyes tearing up. “Can you forgive me?”

Magnus looked at him impassively.

“Alexander,” he said slowly, “I don’t know how to tell you this, but I can’t stay. Part of my father’s deal is that I have to remain in Edom to rule at his side. I only came back to say goodbye…” 

Alec’s eyes widened in shock. “W-what? You cannot mean that!” he choked out.

_Is that why Magnus was being so cold to him?_

Magnus looked sad.

"I should never have gone there. I ended up trapped. My father kept my soul. That was the deal to free Jace," he said.

"But all good right? You have your parabatai. Happily ever after," he said, his voice tinged with sad irony. "Anyway it was my choice too, I gave up my free will/choice to you, right? As I always do. You made your choice."

He sighed heavily.

"Anyway, goodbye Alexander," he said, finishing with a flourish with his hand and a heavy sigh, a look of hurt in his eyes.

Ugh the last time Alec had seen that type of hurt in Magnus's eyes was when he had told her he was marrying Lydia. 

In front of Alec, Magnus started to..._flicker_. In and out, like tv static. 

"No, this can't be happening!!!" Alec screamed. "No, You can't be gone, just like this. I love you. I'm so sorry!"

Tears filled his eyes and he tried leaning forward, grabbing at Magnus's hand. He grabbed nothing but air, as Magnus disappeared completely. 

"Well isn't this interesting," a deep voice boomed. Alec sat up suddenly, frozen in place. He knew that voice. Asmodeus! Suddenly Asmodeus's face was in front of his, grinning manically. "You know, boy-toy, you could totally join him, you know..." He flicked his fingers, and the room engulfed in flames, slowly creeping toward Alec's bed.

"Enjoy the time with my son for all of eternity," he cackled, as he _poofed_ away. 

The room was getting hotter and hotter as the flames drew nearer. 

Alec had no escape. 

He felt his temperature rise as well as the flames neared him. 

His hand started burning and he screamed. 

On the floor, the flames had burned around the perimeter of the bed, and then he and the whole bed just** dropped** in a freefall! 

Down, down, down...Alec's screams echoing into the black nothingness, being pulled out of him until there was no sound left...

THUD!

Alec felt himself being thrown down on the ground of some sort. 

He looked around dazedly. His head was leaning against a corner of a wall in some sort of...cave? room? No windows, and the surface felt a bit funny. IIt was very bumpy, almost soft and spongy-like. 

He looked down at himself. He was not burning anymore, at least. 

But he felt very dizzy. 

His head also hurt like crazy, especially the back. He brought his hand up to the side of his face. There were no bandages. 

He felt something wet, and moved his hand back to look at it. It was dark red.

He was bleeding from the wound in his head. 

So they didn't bandage it? 

But didn't he feel the bandage before? 

And where was he now? Wasn't he supposed to be at the Infirmary?

Anyway he couldn't think clearly....he was just so dizzy and so much in pain...

"Look what happened to you," he suddenly heard a soft breathy voice say in a reprimanding, condescending tone. "You failed in your mission. You also sent Magnus to Edom and he ended up trapped here. You're useless. You should just go. I think you've known this for awhile now. I can make the pain go away."

A white light suddenly appeared at the far corner of the room. "Try me. Go over there, see if I'm lying. You will be free of pain, free of guilt for the misery you caused others...free from yourself."

_Who was saying that?_ Alec wondered, feeling more and more faint.

As he turned to see where the white light was coming from, he suddenly felt so _inexplicably_ _drawn_ to it.

He got up and found himself taking steps toward the area. As he walked closer to it, he did notice that the pain in his head was slowly dissipating, and he started to feel more like his normal self. 

"Go on," the soft voice continued and it is lilting, and so hypnotic....all Alec could hear was the soft voice and the echoing of hymns playing as he stepped closer to the white light.

It just felt so cleansing, he could feel his guilt over Magnus slipping away, his self-hatred of himself for failing the mission was slipping away also...then he started feeling some of his other memories slowly being stripped away...

_Wait, no, i don't want this!!!--_\- 

He jerked himself back, and the white light disappeared from view. 

Oh, you think you're too good for that? Or is _this_ what you want? the voice said, now sounding angry.

Okay, then you asked for it! 

Suddenly Alec was being choked in mid-air, by _nothingness, and the flames started up again around him. _

_The walls started burning down, peeling and the smoke was getting heavier_

_...the heat was _ ** _unbearable_ ** _..._

_ **He was choking...** _

_ **....choking....** _

_**BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP!!!!**_

The sound of the flatline echoed loudly through the hallway. 

A single set of footsteps, running...the the sound of that multipled by many others, running down the hallway. People are yelling – they all converge toward the direction of the sound. Room 999. Alec’s room. 

Magnus's eyes flew open. Then his heart hit the floor. 

** _No. Not Alexander…!_ ** _!!_

Somehow he ended up being the first one there. Aside from the medical team, who had rushed in right after him, and now was using a defillibrator on Alec’s chest. The sight of him, with his eyes rolled back, while seizing and lurching, while slightly foaming at the mouth with every electrical shock was _agonizing._

"Oh my god, he's burning up like crazy!! " one of the medics yelled, trying to hold Alec down as the defillibrator was used again, and again...

Magnus shut his eyes. He no longer has his magic, so he was useless to Alec.

Actually, useless to everyone…

_What is going on??? Alec thought. One moment, he was being choked, and felt like he was being burned alive. Now, he found himself looking down at someone in a hospital bed, with a bandage on his head, being resuscitated via defibrillator. Who looked really really familiar…_

_Wait, that’s _ ** _him_ ** _! So…he was dead now? _

_Nooo, he was not ready for that! _

_But, as he looked at the unmoving figure down on the bed, he noticed everyone scrambling about. _

_"Try something else, try something else!" he could hear someone yell frantically. _

_So…was he almost dead, or in a coma or something? Just then he heard someone in the room mutter “…coma.” And then he knew for sure. _

_So..coma did not mean _ ** _dead. _**** _But it might as well be. _ **

_He was practically in the middle of life or death. Oh man…_

_He watched, drawn to the action, as the medics worked on the body seizing and thrashing, foaming at the mouth. Wow he really looked bad. _

_Please, I don’t want to die, he thought desperately…_

_Then his eyes focused on the weepy individual crouched over in a chair away from the action. Magnus! _

_Whew. So before, that was not Magnus. He was relieved. No wonder why Magnus had so detached when he had been trying to talk to him. Now this was the actual Magnus. Not as glittery anymore, dressed in sophisticated clothing, with a spiky Mohawk and black ear cuff, and eyes outlined in kohl, nothing crazy. _

_So he did get out of Edom! _

_His heart felt so full. Thank the angel for that, he thought gratefully._

**_BEEP BEEP BEEP _ **

_ All of a sudden, Alec was yanked downwards via some crazy force, yet again --- but this time back into his body. And thrown _ ** _hard_ ** _ against that spongy wall, with crevices and grooves -- in that grey area again, hitting his head. Ah, so this is the inside of my head, eh? he thought faintly, finally comprehending his situation. _

_Ugh what a confining place, he thought, his eyes closing as he passed out, the pain overtaking him…_

The sudden, constant pulsing of heart monitor machine was a welcome sound to everyone’s ears, especially to Magnus. 

He felt so elated. 

Thank goodness!

He had been so scared. He had thought he had lost Alec. 

_Yes, because your failure to get back to prevent all of this caused Alec to be in this state_, the voice in his head reverberated over and over again.

He stood on the side as the medical staff removed all the equipment and pads, dressed Alec again, and wiped his mouth clean. They took his temperature; that also seemed to go down as well, but Alec was still weating profusely. Magnus watched the heart monitor leap and sound with every heartbeat. 

How crazy it was, that the only way they could tell that Alec was alive was through this piece of equipment. 

Otherwise, Alec’s face was listless, his body limp, his chest barely rising and falling with breath. And his face was so very pale and sweaty, as if he had gone through tremendous strain. 

Magnus was suddenly reminded of the time when Alec had used the adamas stone to track Jace, and how his soul had ended up caught in-between planes – they had almost lost him. That is how Alec looked now.

At that time, Magnus still had his magic and at least he had been doing everything he could to save him. Now, what did he have to contribute, to help his love come back? 

Nothing. 

He’s never felt more useless in his life. All he did was to save Jace. 

Ugh Jace, the one he always had to do things for, because Alec just couldn’t _live_ without him, even though Jace rarely returned the favor whenever the situation arose. 

Jace also never seemed to be appreciative, always taking either Alec or him for granted. 

Even now, he was the one who had blasted the Owl out of Jace. 

Did Jace thank him? No, not yet. 

He came back from Edom, because Alec was his grounding force. He was supposed to be here, for Magnus to come back to. 

But did that work out either? No, instead he came back to this. 

The wrong Shadowhunter ended up and about, the voice inside his head muttered.

_A vision of Jace in the bed, lifeless, instead of Alec appeared in front of him. _

He felt a smile creep up on his face. 

However, he suddenly realized what he was doing, and the thought went away.

He berated myself. What was wrong with him? Why did he keep having these thoughts? 

Well, he admitted, it was true. But, yes, even if it was true, he wouldn’t normaly have admitted it to himself. 

_But then again, he _ ** _just_ ** _ did, didn’t he? _

_Just stop thinking about it, about Jace, _he thought to himself_. Alec deserves your full attention right now. _

“I’m here, Alexander,” he whispered, as he took his hand in his. The hand was clammy and sweaty, but Magnus’s heart sang, as if he had finally come home. “We will get you back, Alexander,” he whispered, giving the hand a loving squeeze. 

****************

A ray of bright golden light – sunshine? Definitely not that white light! -- shone on Alec. 

He groaned, lifting his head, which still felt heavy from the previous ordeal. 

The back of his head still hurt badly from the wound, which was still slightly bleeding. 

He realized he had collapsed before, sitting in the corner from before. 

At least he was no longer seizing, that had been crazy, not being in control of your movements. 

And having that creepy voice come in, telling him to “Move on. Come toward the light...”

It had almost been persuasive in a sense, especially when the pain had taken over his whole head, he had been thisclose to giving in. 

Then he had seen a vision of himself on the hospital bed, in a coma (?) and egad, people were likely to never come out of that, were they? 

_You failed in your mission, why don’t you just move on from here. No one needs you._

_That voice had almost gotten him. His head was heavy, and he felt dizzy. He was not sure what was real and what wasn’t. What if the voices came back, he was not sure he could resist them a second time…_

_Suddenly he felt a surge of warmth. Wow, that was really nice. It just felt so nice, he thought. _

He took a whiff. It almost smelled like – faint sandalwood.

_Magnus? he thought. _Magnus! 

His head suddenly felt a lot lighter, and more alert. A wave of relief and happiness flowed through his body despite the pain encompassing his head and body. 

Magnus, I’m here, he wanted to say.

But his body would not obey him. His eyes were shut and would not open, his hands would not move. 

If only there was some way to show Magnus that he knew he was there --

_I am _**_so_**_ sorry I made you go to Edom, Magnus,_ Alec thought, beginning to tear up.

_I love you I love you I love you…._

_All he wanted to do was to see the face of his beautiful warlock again..._

He started feeling dizzy, and sat back down again in the corner. Maybe he would just take a short rest. Not much to really do in here anyway...

*********************

The heart monitor beeped once, loudly, catching Magnus’s attention. He looked at it intently. Alec’s heart rate had sped up slightly shortly after he had taken his hand. Magnus turned to look at Alec’s face. A faint rosy glow had slowly crept over both of Alec’s cheeks, making him look a lot better than just half an hour ago, and his breathing seemed more relaxed and even now. 

A tear had also made its way out from the corner of one of Alec’s eyes, lingering on an eyelash.

Magnus smiled. Maybe he was not completely useless after all. Maybe he would just stay here tonight, holding Alec’s hand for as long as he could. Even if he no longer had his magic anymore, he could still offer his mental and emotional strength with his love. 

He reached over, and thumbed the tear off Alec's long eyelashes. He felt the tiniest flicker of Alec's eyelash as he did so. 

It sent shivers up his spine.

_I love you too,_ he thought.


	4. Mirror, Mirror

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alec's loved ones stay by Alec's bedside, feeling helpless, as they watch Alec fight for his life. 
> 
> Meanwhile Magnus's personality changes grow more erratic... As his resentment for Jace having escaped unscathed while Alec lies in a coma intensifies. Tensions between the two escalate..

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> _Reflections in a mirror present the superficiality of things as we intend for others to see…until the glass breaks_

“Magnus? You didn’t stay here all night, did you?” a familiar, soothing voice asked, breaking through the eerie silence.

Magnus lifted his head at the voice. Where was he again? Oh, right. Next to Alec, in his hospital room.

He realized he had fallen asleep at Alec’s bedside, just sitting on a regular chair, his head in his hands, resting on the edge of the mattress next to Alec. 

He glanced up at Isabelle Lightwood, who was surveying him with large, sad eyes, and holding a large coffee. 

Magnus swallowed hard.

_Those eyes._

A different color than that of his Alexander, but just as similar – as family resemblances go. 

Lightwood genes.

He wondered if he would ever see Alec open those beautiful eyes again, so full of life and love.

Those eyes he loved.

“Here,” Isabelle said kindly, holding out a large paper cup of coffee to him. “You need this more than I do, right now.”

Magnus started to shake his head, and Isabelle pursed her lips.

“Don’t say no to this, you are the one who kept vigil by my brother’s bedside since yesterday. You deserve this,” she insisted.

The coffee did look tempting.

Sighing, Magnus accepted it.

Popping open the top, he took a sip. It warmed his stomach, as well as his heart. 

Isabelle was always amazing. And she had always supported him and Alec ever since the beginning of everything. 

“Thanks, Isabelle,” he said in a soft voice. 

Isabelle leaned over to squeeze his hand in comfort, giving him a small smile.

They both sat in silence for a little while.

“When did you get here?” Isabelle’s question broke into his thoughts. “I was away on a mission so I didn’t get home until later. But I heard some things…”

She frowned, then her eyes widened.

“Were you here when the alarm sounded and the medics came?” she asked. 

Magnus closed his eyes, and took a deep breath. 

He had not wanted to recount the horrible events of last night – when they had come thisclose to losing Alexander.

But this was Isabelle, his sister, and she deserved to know.

“It was horrible, Izzy,” he confessed in a ragged voice. “He flatlined.”

Isabelle gasped. “You were here for that?”

She couldn’t even imagine. She herself would have freaked out at that.

“Yea, and everyone was running in the hallway. All hell broke loose. Somehow I was able to make it over here, and they let me stay. They were working on him for a long time too, I-I almost thought they had lost him,” Magnus gasped, remembering the series of events.

“He was pale, with his lips blue, and he was seizing and foaming at the mouth, Izzy,” he added, his voice choking on the last couple of words. 

“Actually, it seemed like he wasn’t even here with us at all by that time. Like he was clinically dead….” he recounted in a low voice, close to tears. 

He heard Isabelle gasp upon hearing that. 

Magnus swallowed hard, then forced a smile on his face.

“But then I guess our Alexander decided to fight, didn’t you pup,” he said affectionately, turning to look at Alec, still lying on the bed, unmoving and unconscious. 

Wow, if it wasn’t for the events that unfolded, one would have thought Alec was asleep like usual, and not fighting for his life the way he was. 

_Ugh, and to think I could have stopped all of this_, his brain threatened to intervene with ugly thoughts, intertwining with the visions that have plagued since since days ago.

_Guilt eats up_

_the insides_

_like a cancer wasting the body_

_from the inside out....'_

At that moment he wanted to roar, letting all his pent up grief loose.

He felt tightly wound, like he wanted to explode. And if he still had his magic, it would have surged out from all limbs, firey and red, out of control. 

But obviously that would not happen now, and would never happen ever again.

He pushed away the negative, depressing thoughts. Isabelle needed him now, his reassurance. 

Alec needed him. 

No time to dwell on his own thoughts of what could have been, even if it was eating and growing away at him inside like a gaping, festering wound...

”Yes, darling,” he repeated to Alec, putting his hand on Alec’s and squeezing it. 

His hands were still warm, so that was a good thing, the steady rising and falling of his chest, and the heart monitor’s steady beeping was reassuring in itself.

“I did notice that no one else came. I mean, you of course were on a mission. How about Jace? Was he on the mission with you?” Magnus inquired.

Isabelle shook her head. “No Jace was not on a mission last night. I think he was resting. You know, he’s been through a lot since being possessed by the Owl.”

Yea, Magnus thought bitterly.

Jace, being possessed by the Owl, had gone through so much --- and Alec had not been able to bear living without his parabatai…which had spiraled and backfired, ending up with this fucking mess.

_Magnus had done this all for nothing. _

He was left with **nothing**, just a comatose Alec in a hospital bed, connected to IVs – and he himself now suffering from flashbacks and bs regarding having seen his father in Edom. 

Which was still having odd effects on him. 

_Jace is to blame,_ his head stated_. _

_He should be in this bed, not Alec. Why does he get to be babied and lying in bed recovering from a possession? Alec, his parabatai may never wake up again, and Jace is in bed, fuckin recovering from possession. He wasn’t even possessed anymore, what did he need to recover from? He seemed just fine the other day when they last spoke. Couldn’t even come to see him last night. Those alarms had been loud enough to wake up demons from Edom. _

_And he couldn’t make it last night. Unbelievable! _

“Magnus, are you okay?” Isabelle asked, concerned. 

Magnus followed her gaze to his hands, both of which were trembling. 

It was odd not to see the blue or red sparks coming out from his fingertips.

He was nothing now, just Mundane._ A waste of life._

“I guess,” he sighed. He felt hollow inside. 

He looked at Isabelle and offered up a weak smile.

“I heard you were the one who broke Lillith’s hold on Jace,” she said softly, reaching out to touch his arm. “You got that power from Asmodeus?”

He nodded. 

“What did you have to trade?” Isabelle asked, her voice growing concerned.

Everyone knew of the trades that demons loved to make.

“My magic and my immortality,” Magnus said in a low voice, biting his lip.

He barely heard Isabelle’s gasp, as he was too immersed in his own thoughts.

His heart felt like it was tearing in half anew, and there was a loud ringing in his ears. 

He still couldn’t believe _both _were gone.

Those were at the essence of who he was. His birthright had been that of a powerful warlock, in fact one of royal lineage, and his image and self worth had been tied up in that. 

For every bias someone had thrown at him verbally, or physically about being a Downworlder, of being demon spawn, or being a Warlock throughout the years -- he at least could have fallen back on the notion that his magic and immortality were a part of him, to be cherished, worth living and fighting for.

They were gifts that many an enemy was jealous of.

Jealous enough to want to kill him to possess his warlock mark, jealous enough to kill them just so they could have bragging rights that they were able to kill a Warlock…

What did he have now?

**Nothing.**

** And his lover, whom he had sacrificed everything for, was in between life and death on this bed. **

_And it is all Jace’s fault,_ his brain nudged again.

“**Jace, fucking Jace,**” he muttered between gritted teeth.

_Jace should be lifeless in that bed, instead of Alec._

Visions of flames and the echo of lesser demons slowly crawled though his headspace, like an itch that he couldn’t’ scratch.

_It was maddening. _

He heard Isabelle’s sharp intake of breath. _Shit, did he say that out loud?_ He took a deep breath, noticing that it came out shaky. 

He slowly lifted his eyes to look at Isabelle. 

Strangely enough, there was no horrified look or judgment in her eyes.

“I don’t know what to say, Magnus. I’m so sorry,” she said softly. “But I know there are no words that can possibly bring forth any comfort to you about that. Losing those parts of yourself…”

Magnus held up his hand.

“Please, let’s not talk about it anymore,” he insisted, his voice toneless. "It’s certainly not easy to deal with, but what done is done.”

He looked away. 

He couldn’t bear the look of concern and pity on Isabelle’s face.

“You must be really stressed out, having to deal with all of this, especially after last night. I would be happy to switch shifts with you on Alec if you want,” Isabelle said slowly. 

She paused, as if reconsidering the words she had just used. 

And then added hastily, “I didn’t mean it like that. I just mean I want to spend some time with my big brother right now. My brain isn’t processing words properly right now, all messed up.”

She sighed in defeat, sniffling loudly.

Magnus lifted his eyes to meet hers. 

He could see the sadness and devastation, sunken in her eyes; it aged her, more than she deserved.

His feelings softened slightly as he regarded her.

“That sounds like a great idea,” he said. “He would be so happy that you are here. I think despite his state, he does know when we are here. I think he twitched his eyelash last night when I came to hold his hand. Well, of course I’m not sure if he really did that or not, but I guess I can keep telling myself that right?” he asked, his voice growing shaky toward the end. 

He could feel the tears building again. And he did not want to start crying now.

“He did know,” Isabelle stated reassuringly. “If anyone can bring forth a response in my big brother, it is you. He loves you so much.” 

Magnus felt a tear escape, despite his best efforts.

He wiped it away angrily.

He did not want to cry anymore, especially since there was nothing he could do. 

_He just felt empty, so helpless…_

“I’m going to go now. See you later, Izzy?” Magnus said, acknowledging his leave. He turned to go.

“Hey Magnus.” He turned around. “Since you will probably be hanging around here at the Institute for the next few days, the training room is open. Maybe you want to work off some steam by practicing in there. I find that helps me whenever I’m stressed. If you are still there when I come by, Id be happy to do some sparring practice with you.”

She winked, and he grinned at her.

He was so glad she had come by the room. 

He felt much lighter already.

“Sounds like a plan, dear Isabelle. So hopefully I’ll see you later,” he said. 

He walked to the door and then turned once, briefly, to look at Alec, and now Isabelle who was sitting next to him, holding his hand. It also seemed like she was singing to him.

That simple act brought tears to his eyes. 

Alec still looked so peaceful, lying there, with the tubes and IV in his arm next to the machines which were beeping and keeping him alive, for now. 

_Alive, in the minimal sense of the word_, he thought, growing bitter once again.

Again, he swallowed that emotion down.

No sense in dwelling upon things he couldn’t change…

He suddenly had an urge to do some tai chi, which was a great way to wind down some stress. 

Perhaps the training room wasn’t such a bad idea after all. 

Well, he admitted ruefully, the magical component was no longer there, obviously.

But he could at least attempt to find some peace from within. 

Making his decision then and there, he turned to walk in the direction of the training room.

As he walked, he smiled, recalling how Alec had first seen him in action.

_He had been all wound up, sweaty, with all his abs on full display, controlling that tightly bound ball of blue magic._

_ He recalled how spellbound Alec had been upon walking into the loft, with his eyes intensely devouring the very sight of him as he moved gracefully from one position to the next. _

_Magnus had never told Alec this, but he had felt his intense stare the minute Alec had stepped into the loft. _

_The stare had made Magnus preen harder, purposely contorting his body in ways to give him a perfect view of his abs, along with how flexible his body actually was. _

_He had heard every gasp, every hard swallow coming from Alec in between changes of position._

_ It had been extremely hot, knowing he could get Alec that hot and bothered. _

_He had not been sure, in the initial stages of their relationship. _

_ Alec had been a hard nut to crack…_

A pang of heartbreak stabbed him in the heart just then.

Magnus shuddered. He needed to stop doing that to himself, reminiscing. Otherwise he would not be able to get through today.

For Alec, he needed to live, to just get through things day by day, and just pray that the staff at the Infirmary knew what they were doing. 

He had to remain positive regarding Alec’s prognosis – that he would indeed wake up at some point, hopefully sooner than later.

_I need you, I need you so much._ he thought desperately. 

God, he needed that distraction_, now._

He reached the training room, and peeked in.

Good, no one was there. He took a deep breath and walked to the center of the room. 

It was the perfect spot. 

He could feel that this point of the room was the exact center, so it provided perfect balance and space for his movements. 

He debated whether to take his shirt off or not. Then he remembered – right, no more magic, and also he was still at the NY Institute, where most Shadowhunters still looked down upon him. 

They would probably find any excuse to report him, or to get him thrown out of the building. 

Such arrogant Nephilim, he thought. 

Sigh, he could just do this in clothes. 

Breathing deeply, he placed himself in rest position, and lifted his arms as he arched his body toward one side, than the other. 

Knees bent, body down into a lunge position, then up again into the next position.

Slowly, he could feel himself loosening up, and he smiled to himself. It was good to know that tai chi helped to relax the mind and soul, magic or not.

He closed his eyes and took several deep breaths to help cleanse the soul.

“What are you doing…dancing?” a snarky yet familiar voice stated.

Magnus’s eyes flew open in annoyance.

Jace. Jace, Jace, Jace, always fucking Jace, interrupting. Everything, as if he owned the damn place, he thought.

_Did he just insult me?_ Jace thought, surprised.“Did you say something?” he asked, uncertainly.

“No, I didn’t,” Magnus said, now facing him.

“And for your information, that’s not dancing. It’s called tai chi. It’s an ancient Eastern practice. Of course_, Shadowhunters_ wouldn’t know much about that.”

Jace shrugged.

“Right, we don’t need to. We were trained for combat with weapons," he said.

“Oh don’t get me wrong,” Magnus stated, his head held high. “I’m trained in martial arts, which is worth more than just combat fighting.” 

“Oh, yeah? Cool,” Jace grinned. “Care to show me some moves?

Ugh, Magnus thought, There goes a relaxing morning. 

Then again, maybe he needed this…

Then he noticed Jace was sizing him up, and looking at him in what seemed like a condescending manner.

“What happened? You need to get something off your chest, Blondie?” Magnus taunted. 

_What an arrogant prick…so entitled..._

Jace looked at Magnus in disbelief.

Magnus hadn't been talking, yet _he_ just heard Magnus insult him.

What the fuck? Magnus had never been like this before. 

And _how_ was it that he was able to hear his thoughts? 

“Noooo,” Jace said slowly.

“But it seems like you’ve got _things_ to say, so go ahead. Spill.” He looked directly at Magnus, daring him to speak.

Magnus huffed. “Nope. I’m done talking,” he spat out. “Especially around here. In fact, I’m totally done doing things for everyone, and getting the short end of the stick. And Alec, he always gets the crap end of everything too, while others, like you, get it all.”

He couldn’t stop now, it just came pouring out.

“For instance, where were you last night? Didn’t you hear the alarms?” he demanded.

“I heard them! But I was resting. I was exhausted, especially after being possessed for that long by the Owl,” Jace protested.

“Oh, so you don’t know what happened, right?” Magnus taunted. _Unbelievable!_

“No, I assumed there was an emergency mission. I had been excused from all of those,” Jace said. “So I ignored it.”

Oh, so you ignored the alarms, how convenient, Magnus thought sarcastically.

“Stop that!” Jace stated. “Let’s change the subject. As long as we are in the training room, feel like sparring, then?” Jace said, in an insincere tone of voice.

“Yup,” Magnus stated. Spar huh? Yea, I’ll show _you,_ sparring, he thought darkly, glaring at Jace.

_I heard that,_ Jace thought in shock, as not for the first time, as he stared back into Magnus’s face. 

Again Magnus had not been actively speaking! _This was definitely not some fluke...!_

He was more bewildered than insulted. 

And now that he's thought about it, it seemed like every since the Owl was purged from him, he’s been able to hear thoughts here and there.

But _mostly_ from Magnus. 

He wondered why that was.

But no time to think about that now, as his Nephilim senses alerted that there was something flying -- _with increasing speed_ \-- toward his head. 

He quickly flipped up and backwards by instinct, just as he spied Magnus’s kali stick by his head. 

Whew, that was close! Jace thought. 

Also, that had been quite unsportsmanlike of Magnus to not announce he was going to start.

In sparring, everything was usually announced, giving the other person time to prepare a defense. 

“Of course, a warlock wouldn’t know that,” Jace muttered to himself. 

He hadn’t realized that he had spoken that aloud.

**“What?”** Magnus sputtered. **“Did you just _say_ something?”**

Jace saw Magnus’s dark eyes flash, and not in a good way.

The veins on Magnus’s forehead seemed to protrude with every word. 

This isn’t good, Jace thought.

He saw Magnus assume a fighting stance once again, now directing a murderous look at Jace. 

Jace gripped his Kali stick firmly, re-assuming his fighting stance.

They circled one another slowly, like two predators circling a catch…waiting to see who would strike first. 

Then they both seemed to leap at the same time, sticks pointed toward one another. 

At the last minute, both seemed to avoid each other, and they both landed on their feet, away but facing one another, sweating and panting from anticipation.

Then they leapt again. 

Sticks made contact with one another, hard. 

Magnus tried to swerve while in mid-air so that the stick would hit Jace full-on, but Jace was able to counter act in time, and so they landed again, across from one another, both on their feet.

_Bastard_, Magnus thought, his eyes narrowing.

“I heard that!” Jace yelled suddenly. “Stop thinking aloud! Or stop thinking at all, its fucking annoying!” Jace shouted.

Magnus couldn’t suppress a grin at how inane that sounded.

“Do you know how stupid you sound? Seriously, so stupid!” he said, cackling.

“That’s it,” Jace announced darkly. “I’m coming for you!”

He charged Magnus suddenly, and Magnus’s fast reflexes anticipated and side stepped him.

As Jace landed, he regarded Magnus with shock and surprise. Usually no one could anticipate that! 

He tried again. And again. And again. 

All three times, Magnus would sidestep it, giving him that infuriating smirk of his, and end up grinning while Jace was down on one knee, huffing and puffing.

** _Seriously? That's three times you missed. _**

**_C'mon, you're joking, right?_ **

_I _ _see the look in your eyes,_

_I know you're thirstin' for blood_

_I feel it stirring inside,  
But you got nothing on us_

_ **Is that all you have, Shadowhunter?** _

_Thunder in my chest  
Adrenaline in my veins  
You better bring your best  
If you wanna play my game_

_You want a war  
You don't know what you're asking for  
You want a war  
You don't know what you're asking_

** _Come at me. _ **

_Bring on the fire and bring on the storm!!_

** _Duh, kid's play. Let's go already! _ **

_Mann,_ Magnus thought with amusement, _You guys get tired so easily._

“Oh yeah?” Jace taunted, “I’m just getting started.” He gave Magnus one of his smirks.

“Yea? Then get at me,” Magnus taunted. 

Flying at one another, sidestepping, charging, flipping both front and backwards, half kicking at one another ensued, and continued. 

Round after round after round. 

Both landed on their feet, yet again, with Jace out of breath.

He noticed that Magnus had gracefully just picked himself off the floor without even seeming to bend a knee or anything! 

What the hell was that technique? 

He’s never seen it before…in fact he wasn't even breaking a sweat!

Damn, Jace thought, taking deep breaths to regain some stamina.

For someone having no magic, Magnus has good stamina, he had to admit.

What’s eating him? he thought, seeing the angry look still on Magnus’s face_._

“You know Alec almost died last night, right? He flatlined,” Magnus spat out.

He lunged at Jace with the stick so suddenly, Jace had no time to react. 

The stick shoved him in the shoulder, hard.

Fuck that hurt!

Gasping, Jace stumbled backward and fell on his back.

_Wow…_

Jace just lay there for a moment, stunned by the action. 

Then he realized what Magnus had said, and he jumped up immediately.

“What?! He did?” A terrible feeling filled his whole being. “But I did not feel anything with our rune!” he protested. “Otherwise I would have come!”

“He’s in a **coma**, Jace. The parabatai rune is not functional right now. He’s still technically alive but things are not working as they should. Thought that would be obvious to you by now,” Magnus spat. 

He couldn’t help it. 

He hated Jace for being so clueless…and all he wanted to do was to hit him in the head.

_Oh, do you?_ Magnus’s brain thought.

Jace’s eyes widened.

Before he realized what was happening, Magnus’s hand which held the stick had lunged forward, striking Jace in the forehead.

**“Oof!”** Jace yelled, flying backward through the air. 

He landed unceremoniously on the floor. 

He groaned. What the fuck!

“Hey, that was just plain playing dirty, Magnus! Not cool at all,” Jace said through gritted teeth, his patience wearing thin.

_He had had enough!_

Magnus held up a hand. “Jace, that time I really had not meant to do that,” he said apologetically. _No, you’re not sorry…_

He really did feel bad. 

_No, you don’t! _

“You’re right, hitting the head is a definite foul---”

“But you did it anyway! Didn’t you. Don’t lie. You don’t feel badly at all!” Jace challenged, throwing the stick forward, aggressively. 

Magnus dodged the attack easily, a look of surprise on his face.

Jace gritted his teeth.

He was through playing games. Who knew if Magnus was being sincere or not, after all of this! 

Anyway he was not going to second-guess him now.

If it’s a fight he wanted, then a fight he was going to get!

Jace threw his stick on the ground. 

“How about some good ol’ hand to hand combat then, we can see what the other can do,” he stated, smiling triumphantly. 

He couldn’t wait to showcase his training.

“Sure, **Nephilim,”** Magnus said flippantly, in an arrogant manner.

He was done playing games too.

Soon they were both in fighting stance, and going at one another.

Leaping, flipping, kicking, blocking, punching, pacing around one another. 

Magnus could feel the training from the Grandmaster flowing back in through his veins.

Like riding a bicycle, he thought, recalling the droll Mundane saying. 

The first few rounds, Jace had the offense. 

At one point, he had kicked Magnus backward so hard, Magnus had landed on the ground. 

Ugh, Magnus thought, getting up. 

With a normal person, they might have been hurt really bad. 

But the Grandmaster had taught him how to withstand more than the average person, so it felt more like a bruising injury rather than an actual internal injury.

With every punch, with every kick, Jace’s face grew more and more assured, more cocky, with that entitled look in his eye. 

It just made Magnus’s blood boil. 

_He just wanted to smack that smile right off his face, and then some._

He didn’t’ even finish the thought before he suddenly felt his fist establish contact with Jace’s eye, then side of the face.

And then somehow, he had Jace on his back, and his fist was going into his face repeatedly...

Magnus felt like he was watching someone else in a fight. 

He did not even feel the pain that was obviously being inflicted upon his fists, with hitting someone..

Jace jerked backward abruptly before flying back and landing on the ground **hard,** his head and upper torso shaking as he was being pummeled by Magnus.

He felt like he was in a dream right now. There's no way he was getting beat up right now...

He reached up with both hands to try to push Magnus off of him…

They were so engrossed in this, they didn't hear footsteps quickly approaching, as if in a run...

"Oh my god, _what's_ going on! _Magnus, Jace, Stop_!"

Isabelle suddenly appeared. She pulled Magnus off of Jace.

Magnus ended up landing in a heap and on his back, while Jace ended up rolling to the side, groaning in agony, his hands to his face.

"What's wrong with you guys!" she screamed. “This isn’t doing anyone good at all! Look at the both of you!” 

Magnus dumbly stared at both of his hands. His knuckles were bloody, but not with his own blood. 

In a daze, his eyes traveled over to Jace, who was now sitting up, looking really dazed.

His left eye was swollen, and his mouth was bloody and bruised.

Wow, I did that? he wondered, with a mixture of horror and amazement. 

_You should be proud, he deserved it_, a voice that seemed to come from the recesses from deep within said.

_No,_ Magnus thought, _he did not deserve this!_ _How could he let himself get so carried away?_

Jace then fixed Magnus with a pensive look. Magnus was surprised.

Jace even looked sheepish, as if humbled. 

And was that grudging admiration on his face too?

“Looks like I underestimated you, “Jace said slowly, “I definitely don’t know you very well, besides you being the High Warlock of Brooklyn, the magic, and being Alec’s boyfriend. But those are certainly some moves you’ve got there. Looks like we were taking you for granted all this time.”

He huffed, and ran his fingers through his hair. “You tired me out.”

Magnus gulped, listening to Jace’s admission. He was definitely not used to this side of Jace.

“Jace, I’m –”

Jace kept going. “And you are right, by the way. I should have been more attentive to that alarm last night. And I should have been by my parabatai’s side, instead of wallowing in self-pity. I’ve definitely been through a lot, even _exhausted,_ but so have we all. And you pulling me away from Lillith, well – theres nothing I can say that can properly express how thankful l am for that. I can never repay you enough.”

Jace finished his speech all in one breath, and he huffed again, letting out a long _Woooo!_ at the end.

“Look, I can’t say I forgive you for beating me up. In fact, I kinda hate you," Jace said awkwardly, but then stuck out his tongue at Magnus to show he wasn't totally serious about that, either.

"I don’t know if I will be able to forgive you for quite some time...but I will recognize that I probably did deserve it on some level, ” Jace said hastily, looking Magnus directly in the eye. 

He stuck out his hand to Magnus, a sincere expression on his face. 

Magnus looked at his hand, and firmly returned the sentiment, shaking his hand firmly. 

I can give him that, he thought. _Actually it felt really good to have his respect on this level. _

Jace grinned suddenly, almost immediately following that thought, his heterchromatic eyes brightening up considerably.

In fact, the change in his expression had been so dead-on following his thoughts, that an epiphany came to Magnus. 

_He can hear my thoughts. _

All this time too, which was probably why he got so riled up during the sparring/fight.

He could not say that he would immediately warm up to Jace and all, since they were fundamentally different in so many ways…but it was a start. 

And it felt like a new beginning, a clean slate, where they might come to understand one another better.

For once the _voices_ in his own head were not bugging him either – which was another topic Magnus would think about later. 

“Okay, wow, well that was enlightening,” Jace stated.

“I think I should go and pay Alec a visit in the infirmary. How is he doing right now? Did you go visit him yet, Isabelle?” he asked.

Isabelle nodded.

"He’s fine, stable. Actually it would be a great time for you to go see him, he would love that. Just keep talking to him. That’s what I was doing,” she said softly. 

Jace nodded. “Ok then I’ll take my leave,” he stated. “Isabelle, Magnus,” he stated, acknowledging both of them, before turning to walk out the door.

That left Isabelle alone with Magnus. They looked at one another.

Magnus’s mouth was suddenly dry, and he felt ashamed at what Isabelle had come across. “Isabelle,” he finally managed to utter.

“Magnus. I’m not sure what happened here,” she said uncertainly. “Are you feeling okay though? You can talk to me, you know, don’t pretend things are okay if they aren’t.”

Magnus’s eyes filled with tears. “That’s what Alexander would always say to me. When things get crazy, don’t push me away. And that I didn’t need to pretend, with him.”

Isabelle leaned in to give Magnus a hug. It felt so good, her arms around him. 

“You two are more alike than you realize,” Magnus said affectionately, giving Isabelle a kiss on the top of her head.

A fire message suddenly flew into the room, with Isabelle catching it overhead. 

She glanced at it. “Looks like I’m needed in Ops. Are you good?” she asked. “Raincheck on the sparring? Well actually you already had your session.”

Magnus laughed a little at that.

“Lunch, later?” she asked.

He nodded. "Let me know when you're done," he said. 

She got up, smiled at him and walked off.

Magnus stood there in the training room for a moment, just looking around and trying to collect his thoughts.

_Sure, they are nice enough, even Isabelle, but do they really have your back when it counts_? The voice inside his head asked. _ Did you believe Jace's words, of what he said to you? Or is he going to turn back into a little shit once all of this blows over?_

_They do, they do. I believe them,_ Magnus argued inwardly. 

But he himself had to admit that with the encounter he had just experienced with Jace, that he was slowly starting to have his doubts. 

A dull pain started throbbing in the back of his head, and a rumbling sound (?) started up in his ears. 

_Great, now I’m getting a headache. _

Maybe he should make his way to Alec's old room, and lie down for a bit. 

At the rate his head was throbbing, he didn't think he would be able to make it back to the loft...

***********

As soon as Isabelle rounded the corner and out of sight from the training room, she stopped, a look of extreme concern overshadowing her features. 

That was so not like Magnus, she thought. He doesn’t usually act on impulse like this.

Maybe the absence of magic was making him a bit erratic? She saw how the veins were bulging by his temple when he was in the room with Jace. She wondered what happened to him in Edom.

He definitely did not return the same person, by any means. 

And now with her brother in a coma and at the hospital…she just wondered how much he could take before things started to overwhelm him.

She just hoped that her worry was purely irrational, and that this whole thing would just blow over.

_If only._

_Alec, she thought, please wake soon. We all need you._

_Magnus **really** needs you..._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HnUq5mS18As
> 
> lyrics from "Invincible" - Ruelle


	5. Dark Places

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Magnus "suffers" through various types of dreams as a side effect of his time in Edom.  
Alec, still in a coma, senses something is wrong around him...  
Magnus goes to Catarina, and finally gets some answers about what has been happening to him.  
Magnus clues Jace in on some things.

_A faint rumbling is heard in the distance, as demons shriek in the distance, _

_echoing across the plain…_

_hellfire spring up from various areas of the plain, one after the other, _

_as if in synchronization with one another_

_Then the rumbling grows louder…_

_(uttered in a low, demonic voice)_

** _Come back, Magnus. You don’t know the power you have right now. _ **

** _You could rule all of Edom…_ **

Magnus woke up with a start, light sweat adorning his brow. His eyes automatically dart around frantically. They fall upon the red scars on the underside of his wrists. They look _imprinted_ \-- no_, burned_ \-- into his skin. Faintly, he recalls the visions he had of himself being bound by those magical shackles that his father had forced upon him during his time in Edom after his first failed attempt to portal --

_Why hadn't he seen these scars before? _

Suddenly flames burst forth from those scars, and he _screamed_..

Magnus woke up screaming, sitting up in bed. He is now _drenched_ in sweat. He slowly looks down at his wrists, afraid of what he might find.

No burns. The skin is normal.

He closes his eyes and sighs, relieved. _It was only a dream... _

Where was he again? Oh, right, he had somehow found his way to Alec’s old room at the Institute. In light of what happened with Alec, no one had questioned him staying in the Institute for a few days. 

Normally it was against protocol to allow anyone other than Nephilim to stay at the Institute, but no one had given it a second thought this time around. Everyone knew that Magnus was a little shaky, given that he had been the one to find Alec after the confrontation with the Owl. Everyone seemed to be unusually accommodating to him. 

Admittedly, he was grateful for that gesture.

He looked around the room. Plain walls, plain bed, with dark green sheets and pillows. This was typical of Alec the soldier, back in the day -- that beautiful yet closeted soul.

How far he had come since then...

He heard the faint rumblings again in his ears. And then the words that he heard in his dream came back in his mind. 

Those words sounded so familiar to him, but why? And how? They were running around in circles in his head, but he didn’t know where he’s heard them before.

Their ominous tones made the hairs on his arms stand on edge. 

_So creepy._ He’s been wondering why these voices are in his head, along with why it seems like Jace was able to hear his thoughts at times – especially the really insulting ones, he thought wryly, recalling how he and Jace had come to blows the other day. 

He couldn't put a finger on it. 

The only thing they shared in common was that they both possessed Edomic signature temporarily – Jace being possessed by the Owl, while Magnus was literally shackled in Edom. 

He wondered if Jace being able to hear his thoughts had anything to do with that at all...

Suddenly immense pain shot up the back of his head, and he groaned. His eyes rolled to the back of his head...

_~More visions~_

_He sat on one end in a gigantic room, filled with Edomic denizens having sex on couches and in cages around him. Strangely enough, this did not faze him. His golden cat eyes swept across the entire room, feeling a bit bored…not entertained at all._

_In fact, he did not feel much of anything…_

_A surge of fire and power shot out from the bottom of whatever chair or seat he was currently sitting on. Pulling back, he realized with horror that he was sitting right on the throne in Edom. _

_He couldn’t move, bound to it by some unimaginable force. He_ _ cannot escape._

_He screamed as the surge rushed thru his veins like electricity. It doesn’t hurt but the amount of power which surged and seared through his blood was so powerful, he almost blacked out. He felt the darkness as it made its way through his veins, even though his current magic and willpower tried so hard to keep it at bay. _

_He felt faint after the last surge, as the thin layer of consciousness slowly faded. Beyond exhausted and depleted, his last thought was that he wanted to take a nap._

_ He wasn't sure how many more surges he could take. _ _So tired now..._

_He collapsed while sitting on the throne._

_Two or three hours later --? One can never be sure about time in Edom? – he regained consciousness. He sat up straight, faced with a lesser demon kneeling in front of him. He has brought with him, an insolent incubus. Tired out and worn from this surge, Magnus lifted his heavy eyes toward the incubus. _

_“My King,” the demon said, as it preceded to check off a list of things that the incubus has done. Magnus felt tingling in his hand, and he looks down. There’s red magic along with flames dancing around the veins in his hand. _

_He could barely lift his head, but somehow he can’t find himself caring about the fate of this incubus. Accused, right? **So, he must be guilty**._

_He sniffed, his hand motioning toward the incubus. “You’re of no importance, begone,” he says airily, with a touch of sadness and amusement, in a voice he barely recognizes as his own -- _ _Hmm how long has he been down here already? He doesn’t even know -- _

_His fingers involuntarily snapped with a flourish, as the incubus’s eyes widened in fear. _ _“But I did nothing!!” he screeched, prior to t into raging flames. The lesser demon cackled, and Magnus smiled with a smile that did not quite reach his eyes. _

_His golden cat eyes are open, but there was no expression to be found there. Blankety blank blank._

_He’s just so tired…_

_…wait, what? No, he is not ruling Edom!!!_

_Oh hell no, I need to get out of here ---_

Klunk! “Ow!” Magnus now found himself sprawled out on the floor, next to his bed. 

Apparently he must have rolled or fell off the bed following that horrible nightmare. He shivered, thinking about the effect that the dream had on him. Why would he be dreaming these things? He’s never sat on the throne of Edom before like that; how would he even begin to know how it felt like to be bound to it? And the way he treated the incubus – his subconscious was certainly playing tricks on him. He had never been quite that callous before…

All in all, the whole thing seemed like a horrible experience, if his dream was of any indication of how the real thing might be like.

_Edom is yours,_ a voice whispered in his head. _You need to go back._

_What? No way! Edom’s my worst nightmare, Magnus thought_. _I never want to go back to that place. Following my father there was the worst decision I made! And Edom has a way of seeping into your soul if you stayed there long enough! I never want that to happen. Never. I would never go to Edom, even if that was my last resort. Never again! _

His head was still throbbing. Now he felt another headache coming in. Oh no, he thought miserably. He had been having these blinding headaches every so often in the last few days. Arghh, he thought, shutting his eyes in agony. They have been getting worse and worse, even to the point where he could barely stand or stay upright during its peak…

Two days ago, the headaches had hit him while he was eating breakfast. He had ended up the infirmary. The medics had said they performed tests. Yet they denied seeing anything – which was bullshit –_ they didn’t want to treat you because you are a warlock_, his mind said. Thus he had been released.

Well, he knew that these headaches were far from being just _nothing_ \-- it just seemed like part of some sort of chain reaction, that has been steadily growing ever since he got back. However, he had no idea what it was, or even how to suppress it. 

And they seemed to be _getting worse and worse…_

_It was time to talk to Catarina._

*******************

_~At the infirmary~_

Evening had come, and the hallways of the Infirmary were currently quiet. But there are sounds of people talking. No one is visible in the hallway though Then....slowly, two random individuals emerge from out of thin air. Their heads are closer together, chatting as they walked right past Alec's room. 

Then they stopped, backtracked, and stood right outside Alec’s room.

"Wow," the more portly male stated, "That really does work, you glamoured us and we walked right past security. Good work, Deschamel."

"What can I say, my parents forbid me to ever lie. And besides," the taller green one with the long white hair and bright violet eyes stated. "I don't lie about the things that I can do. Trust me, I can do this...and more."

Satisfied, the portly male signaled to his partner. The taller green individual snapped his fingers. 

To everyone else, they were again no longer visible, to the guards, to the cameras etc in the infirmary.

However they were both still where they were at. "So," the tall green individual said. "Let's see what we are working with."

They both looked in, appearing to survey the unnatural quietness of the room, with just Alec lying in his bed, his eyes closed, breathing just a little shallow. The medics had set up the IV in his left arm, while EKG pads had him hooked up on the heart machine. 

The individuals stayed where they were, standing at the entrance of the door. They both stared at the motionless figure in the bed for the longest time. One of them finally moved forward, gingerly stepping into the room, stopping right by the foot of the bed. He grinned just then, and turned to his partner.

"Eh, whatever," one said to the other. "He can't hear us. It really doesn't matter _what_ we say. Hell, he doesn't even know we are in the room with him right now. He’s dead to the world, really. Some Head of the Institute, huh." 

There’s low laughter shared between the two, almost sinister, as if spoken at the expense of the unconscious leader lying on the bed.

_~Alec~_

Alec's eyes flew open right then, and he attempted to sit up. He found himself still sitting in the corner of this very dim area. 

Right, still the grayness around him...

Right, he's inside his head, in this coma. However, he feels very calm now -- as opposed to the last time when he had that nightmare about Magnus

Then somehow he was sent out of his own body by that...that..._What had that been, exactly? _

A voice that pretty much told him to give up and die...

_...and then, had it almost killed him when he resisted? That was kinda crazy..._

Alec still felt a bit dizzy though, a given considering what he's endured, along with pain that throbbed in the back of his head. He still felt sick, really sick to the stomach. 

It had not been all bad these last few days though. The stress been punctuated with welcome breaks -- for instance, he could have sworn Magnus had stayed with him, holding his hand for most of the night. 

Also, had it been Isabelle, who was singing to him more recently? She sang a song that they used to love when they were kids. In hearing that, it had made him really happy and sad at the same time. He wanted to sing along -- but he had not been able to. 

And even just a few moments before, it had been Jace, his parabatai, holding his hand briefly while talking in soft voices to him. It had even sounded like the parabaatai oath. He had felt the warmth emanating from it just from his closeness, even though he had not been able to feel anything via the rune. 

How Alec wanted to respond, to talk to them -- to open his eyes and see all of them.

But this point, nothing was working. He was not able to command anything, no actions, no behavior, no control over his body. 

But he was able to feel sensations though, which had been a welcome surprise.

However, he definitely did not like the ones he felt right this evening. Or the ones he was feeling, right now.

They felt strange today, not like yesterday. 

The main feeling which permeated the air today made Alec feel as if something was off in the environment. He did not like that feeling at all – in fact it almost felt like a threat to him. 

_But that’s impossible to be able to feel that, even subconsciously right? _

Like a strange – no, insidious – vibe or presence had suddenly descended in the area around him, making the balance and energies shift in the air. But no, that must be his head playing tricks on him, right? It almost felt like his instincts had risen up to warn him -- but now they were in serious overdrive since he was no longer able to use his sight to gauge body language or behavior for intent.

This was almost like being _instinctive at the bare minimum_ – like how he would flinch at the mere voice of someone whom he hated, or turning straight away if he sensed unwelcome visitors while his back was turned...  
**  
_That type of instinct_**_._

He heard lowered voices in the room. Who were they? He strained to hear, but couldn’t make it out. However, his Nephilim senses were activated.

_Alec did not like them at all. And he did not **want** them to come back._

_~Hospital room~_

Meanwhile, back in the room…Alec’s heart machine beeped, and the two individuals looked at the heart rate displayed on the monitor. In five minutes, the number had gone from 80 to 90 bpm in a matter of minutes, and there were beads of sweat on Alec’s brow. 

They looked at one another. Hmm, that wasn’t good. Any more like that, and the alarm would surely ring. “We need to find a way around that happening,” one whispered to the other. “Anyway, this looks to be a good time, hardly anyone is around at this time of night.” 

The other individual nodded assent, looking deep in thought.

“Hmm okay, we will figure out some type of sedation then before the action begins,” the individual said after awhile.

“Okay, you’re got yourself a deal. Now…let’s talk compensation.”

******

_~Magnus~_

Magnus stopped by the hospital where Catarina normally worked her day shift as a nurse, treating and healing Mundanes. Despite his absolute weariness, stemming from the past few days, he managed to sit himself in a chair to wait for his friend.

When Catarina finally walked toward him, one look at him had her take him by the hand, pulling him up and into one of the examination rooms.

"Magnus," she said softly, in a concerned voice, "You don't look too well." She took out a thermometer and placed it under his tongue. After awhile ,she took it out and looked at it. 100.4 F. As she suspected, a low grade fever -- there was definitely something off about her friend...

Magnus grimaced, trying to smile. "This getting sick business is borderline ridiculous. I _don't_ get sick," he stated. Suddenly he felt lightheaded...and the next thing he knew, he was in Catarina's arms, with her holding him up. 

"As you were saying? You just passed out, Magnus. You are not okay," Catarina admonished firmly but gently. He sighed, closing his eyes briefly. He let her help him into a chair. She then sat down next to him, and he leaned his head on her shoulder.

"I need your help," he said, sighing. "I've been having these nightmares ever since I've come back from Edom...along with these blinding headaches. The other day I ended up in the infirmary after passing out from one. But no one at the Institute wants to help me. And it kills me to be in the same place as Alec, knowing he is the way that he is..."

Catarina looked at her friend with sympathy as she listened to him. By the end of the talk, both Magnus and Catarina had embraced, both with tears in their eyes.

"I can ask the Spiral Labyrinth for counsel," she stated. "You can come with me, if you’d like,” she said. “Even though you are now Mundane, you were still a warlock and can go in.”

He had nothing better to do at the moment, and he definitely needed answers. They walked out, and ducked into an alley. Catarina waved her hands around, and a portal formed. 

They both stepped through. 

Now they were both facing the open field housing the Spiral Labyrinth. Only warlocks knew the location, or how to get inside. Catarina muttered something, and a door appeared. She grabbed Magnus’s hand, and they were both about to step in. Suddenly Tessa Gray, a fellow warlock, and the official researcher working within the Archives at the Spiral Labyrinth, materialized in front of the entrance.

“Tessa!” Magnus exclaimed happily, upon seeing one of his oldest friends. But he was also puzzled. Tessa usually preferred to stay within the Archives as a researcher. Having her come out like this was highly unusual.

“Magnus! So good to see you,” she stated, giving him a warm hug. “It has been forever.” She turned to Catarina and gave her a hug as well.

“Tessa,” Catarina said, her voice dropping to a whisper. “What are you doing outside of the Archives?”

Tessa frowned as she looked at both Magnus and Catarina. “The alarms were going off. For some reason one of you triggered it,” she said. “I found that extremely odd, so I came out to see who was here.” She looked at Catarina intensely, quietly scanning her with her magic. Hmm, she checked out. It couldn’t be Magnus, could it? To her surprise, his magic was not picking up on her radar at all. And yet…there was something else…something sinister. She was taken aback.

“Magnus,” she whispered, shocked. “What happened to your magic?”

Magnus sighed, closing his eyes. “Long story,” he muttered. He filled her in, with Catarina standing by, sympathetically putting an arm around his shoulder for comfort.

“Wow, I see,” Tessa stated after hearing Magnus tell the tale. She frowned again. “So you are Mundane, now. And yet…I’m still reading signatures off on you that possibly triggered the alarms. As if you had brought some of Edom back with you. But that’s impossible, isn’t it? You are Mundane at the moment – Mundane souls do not hold onto that type of corruption,” she stated, looking at him quizzically.

Magnus shrugged. “I have no idea! I have been suffering from massive headaches, along with having nightmares about Edom, though,” he admitted. Tessa looked at her friend; he really did look weary and sad. Aww, she thought. She leaned in to hug him again, and noticed that he hugged her back even more fiercely.

“I miss you,” Magnus said morosely, his face still buried in Tessas’s shoulder.

“I miss you too,” Tessa murmured, still hugging Magnus tightly. She could sense that Magnus was hurting, and needed someone to help him through this.

Eventually she had to disengage, regretfully. “Magnus,” she stated. “Unfortunately, because I did read that signature off on you, you aren’t allowed to enter the Labyrinth at this time. However, Catarina is free to do so. I would suggest that Catarina go in and do the research, while you wait out here. I will help her so she won’t take long. Is that okay?” Tessa stated.

“Looks like I don’t have a choice,” Magnus stated despondently. He totally hated not having his magic about him.

Catarina patted him on the arm. “Aww Magnus, don’t worry. We are going to make sure you get all the answers that you need. Just wait here,” she reassured him, as she followed Tessa through the door leading to the Archives. Then it closed, and disappeared in a poof! 

Magnus just stared at the area where the door was. It had since disappeared, as if there had been nothing at all initially. 

He sighed.

He was definitely not used to being left out of things. However, he knew that this was the best decision for now – time to find out what was causing certain weird behaviors, and to see if there was any way to get rid of them.

******************

“Okay, all done!” Catarina suddenly appeared in front of Magnus, making Magnus jump in surprise. “Ugh,” Magnus grumbled, as Catarina laughed, giving him a wink. He knew he had no right to complain – many times he had done the same, just poofing in front of people or beings without any warning. Guess the shoes on the other foot now, eh?

“Let’s get to the loft and look over these tomes,” Catarina states, throwing up a portal.

At the loft, Catarina and Magnus have already returned, and Catarina waves her hand over his dining room table. About 10 books are revealed, bookmarked to pages that Catarina had found interesting. All the book have some sort of writeup about Edom and demons, and the words are in some mysterious language of symbols and letters – a language studied by every Warlock. Even Magnus was still able to decipher the titles.

“I’ll take this one, you take that one,” Magnus said. He looked down at the tome he was about to read – it was bookmarked at a particular point. 

“Ah!” Catarina said just then, having turned to Magnus and seeing what he had picked up. “I found information about the shackles you mentioned. I didn’t read deeper into it, but that might explain things.”

Exactly what he needed, Magnus thought, flashing a smile at Catarina.

“Magic dampening shackles,” Magnus read aloud, poring through the paragraphs which followed. Hmm, possible side effects – One must remove them carefully as the adverse effects can be detrimental or unpredictable…several instances of removal have resulted in permanent loss of magic – _egad, a fate worse than death!_ – or magic dampening permanently – _meh_! 

The adverse effects were horrible! Magnus turned the page.

..and never, under any circumstances, try to magic them off yourself. The combination of non-compatible magic will result in unpredictable outcomes! Death, rarely – but it has happened! Or the combined magic from the shackles burning into the flesh and darkening the soul, as the magic from the shackles is from some of the strongest dark magic ---

…_what?!_

Magnus’s eyes widened, automatically turning his wrists over and imagining the burned stripe that he’s seen in his dreams. No, just a dream, he reminded himself. But how would he had known to visualize that, if he had never known about it?

And now pieces of those visions after bouncing back into Edom came back to him. How Magnus had fought to get the shackles off -- so, in essence, he had thrown his own magic into the effort....how, after Asmodeus had removed those shackles, that it had sent both of them flying. How, as he faced his father, demanding to go back, it seemed like there was an incredible surge of energy/power circling him. At the time he had thought a storm was brewing in Edom. He had no idea it had come directly from within him.

And, now, in his head, he recalls some type of strange look in his father’s eyes – one he had never seen before…

Fear? Yes, fear – while looking at Magnus.

Hmm, Magnus thought, perplexed. He had never seen his dad so…_afraid._

**A darkened soul**…_was that what had triggered the alarms at the Spiral Labyrinth?_ It must have been, since Tessa had felt it within him. But – also – it was not possible, since he was now Mundane! 

Then again, he had felt very different upon returning to the Shadow World.

The nightmares, the headaches, his ever-erratic temper…

_…the dark thoughts about Jace. _

That _fight _with Jace.

Normally he considered himself one to be cool under pressure. Or even in the face of adversity. However, these days, it was like his actions were just as fast or even faster than his thoughts. He recalled his fists pummeling Jace, even before his brain had registered what was happening.

Alec would have not liked that at all, if instead of Isabelle, it had been _he _who had come across them that day in the training room..

It would have – at the very least – saddened Alec.

At the very worst – _what if Alec would have turned on him because of what he had done? _After all, Jace was his parabatai. Their souls were linked -- _for life._

_He couldn’t bear that if that happened – that the relationship might have ended due to that. He loved Alec so much…_

_Randomly, his thoughts went back to that fight with Jace…and the fact that Jace could hear his thoughts…_

“Catarina, did you happen to come across any side effects of Edomic possession? Or even temporary effects after returning from Edom?” Magnus called out. 

Catarina looked up from where she was sitting, a look of surprise on her face. She then looked thoughtful. “Funny you should mention that,” she mused. “I just came across that in the last book. Let me go get that.” Waving a hand, the book appeared – open to the exact page. She pored through the sections, and looked up at Magnus curiously.

“Why do you ask? Is there something specific?” she wondered.

“Well,”Magnus began, shifting in his seat uncomfortably. ”Apparently Jace can hear my thoughts, which has been puzzling. Also, the thoughts have not been positive toward him, so it has led to some issues between us,”he said evasively, not meeting Catarina’s eyes.

Catarina’s eyes took on a look of comprehension. “Ah, you mean, he heard the really negative thoughts…hm that’s what this text mentions,”she said, pointing to a passage. “Edomic possession is generally a negative influence upon the person whom its targeted at. When one is possessed, it will draw out the victim’s insecurities, feed on its anxiety, its fears, and doubts, and really do a number on self-worth. That continues temporarily even after the person is exorcised. Similarly, since you were down in Edom, and you appear to have been affected by whatever happened with your father, it created this temporary channel between you two.”

Catarina paused, and looked at Magnus carefully. Her friend looked very queasy and had his head down.

“Magnus, what is it?” she asked, walking closer to Magnus.

“Catarina,” he said slowly. “I think my father may have done a number on me, inadvertently.” He pointed to the page in the tome, which described the magic shackles. “He had those put on me after I had bounced back into Edom following a first failed attempt to return. Then he had locked me in a cage in his dungeon. I had them on for _days_ going into nights. I was so angry and I tried so hard to pull them off using my own magic…that I think I advertently caused them to short-circuit. Then when my father tried to remove them with a spell, they exploded, and the dark magic seeped into me. I have felt really off these past few days.”

He stopped talking then, and blinked back sudden tears. He knew in his heart this manifestation was irreversible.

He felt Catarina place a comforting hand on his shoulder, encouraging him to continue.

He kept talking, still not lifting his eyes to look at her.

“I’ve felt it – the changes in myself, the way I’m thinking. There are negative voices in my head, talking to me constantly. The nightmares, the way my temper rages out of control without even my realizing. I even punched Jace repeatedly after he annoyed me one too many times. Well, actually that was after he inadvertently heard my thoughts – which were pretty insulting to him…” 

He trailed off, feeling horrible.

Suddenly he heard a cackle. Curious, he looked upon. Catarina was laughing her butt off. “You beat up…Jace?” she gasped, tears in her eyes. “Arrogant, Shadowhunter, golden boy Jace? The one that constantly comes _in between_ you and Alec?”

Magnus couldn’t suppress a small smile. “Yup, that’s him,” he said. Actually, was it really bad that he beat up Jace? At least they were somewhat even, now…

“Well, for his cluelessness, I’d say he deserved it,” Catarina proclaimed, still laughing. Then her face grew serious. “But anyway, do you think he deserves to know what he’s going through? I could imagine the poor boy is going crazy. Arrogant or no, I do feel sorry for him a bit.”

Magnus thought for a minute, and sighed. “Yes, I think he does deserve to know. Even though I’m still not sure what I think about him right now,” he murmured.

“You don’t have to come to any sort of decision now about you and Jace,” Catarina said. “Just call on him to come by so we can talk to him about it. That’s all. Don’t make this personal. It’s just business.”

That did make a lot of sense. “Hmm, okay,” Magnus agreed grudgingly.

He flipped open his phone and shot a text to Jace. He probably wouldn’t respond, given everything that has occurred between them, but Catarina was right – he did need to know about this aspect of the possession.

Twenty minutes go by – no response via text. “Ah well,” Magnus mused. “I tried, didn’t I?” Catarina nodded sympathetically.

There was a knock on the door.Hmm at this hour, without prior announcement? Magnus looked up, causing Catarina to look up at well. Magnus walked to the doors and opened them.

It was Jace, looking worse for the wear. His normally bright, well coiffed blond hair was a bit matted, as if he had been sleeping on part of it, and his eyes were a bit red and shining, as if with unshed tears. He just stiffly stood in the doorway.

“You can come in,” Magnus stated, motioning him in. Jace nodded, sauntering in. He nervously ran his hand through his hair. Magnus noticed Jace held himself a bit awkwardly as he walked in – a definite far cry from the young man who had just burst in shortly after Alec and Magnus had kissed cementing themselves as a couple following that awkward first date.

“You found something?” Jace asked abruptly in his regular tone of voice, referencing the text Magnus had sent. 

Magnus nodded. “Yes, in fact we did. In fact –”

“I saw Alec,” Jace blurted out. “This afternoon.” 

The Shadowhunter’s demeanor suddenly changed. He seemed very unsure of himself, and turned away, but not before Magnus saw the tears in his eyes.

Magnus regarded him, not unkindly. “How was he, Jace?” he asked. “I hadn’t had a chance to go today.”

“It didn’t seem like him,” Jace muttered. “I’m so used to Alec being up and ready to give an order, not laid up in bed like that. As you can see, I did not do too well.” He blinked back tears. .”I couldn’t do anything. I just sat there, I held his hand, recited the parabatai oath as we would normally do in order to reassure one another – but there I was, reciting it onesided. And it almost broke me.” Jace sighed.

Aww, poor Jace, Magnus thought. Jace suddenly looked up, and caught Magnus’s gaze. Ah fuck it, Jace thought. “Do you mind if I hug you? “ he asked plainitively. Magnus was the closest thing to Alec, and he knew that even if they both didn't like one another very much right now, they certainly both loved Alec.

Magnus didn’t even hesitate, as he opened up his arms. It was a bit awkward, these two adversaries now hugging. 

“This doesn’t change anything though, I haven’t decided if I like you or not. You did beat me up, after all…” Jace muttered, his face buried in Magnus’s shoulder.

“Oh don’t worry, Shadowhunter, feeling’s mutual,” Magnus said flippantly, smirking.

“Aww isn’t this cute,” Catarina’s sardonic voice suddenly breaking up the mood. She gestured to the both of them.

“Shut up,” Magnus and Jace grumbled, simultaneously.

Jace finally disengaged from the hug, with a sheepish grin on his face. “For what it’s worth, thanks for that. I do feel a lot better,” he said quietly.

“Don’t get too mushy, now, Shadowhunter,” Magnus deadpanned. 

Then Magnus remembered the initital reason why Jace had come. “Rightttt…you had come because of my text, about your hearing thoughts,” he stated, suddenly all business.

Jace suddenly looked much more alert. “Oh! Yea! What did you find out?” he asked curiously.

“It’s a side effect from the possession with the Owl, it should wear off in a few days,” Magnus said. "Catarina had come across it in one of these tomes. We thought you should know about it." 

“Whew, thank goodness,” Jace stated, visibly relieved. “I mean, it’s certainly an interesting power to have, but I think I’ve had more than enough of it…” He and Magnus shared a look, undoubtedly remembering their fight the other day.

“Actually,” Magnus stated, “I was thinking of going over to see Alec. Do you have a mission or are you going back to the Institute as well? I’ll walk with you.”

Catarina interjected, “Id like to see Alec as well. I just want to see how he’s doing.” Magnus knew what she meant. She was going to use her magic and run a full-body scan to make sure everything was working as it should, even in his comatose state.

“Sure,” Jace said. They all walked out of the loft, together.

*****************

_~Somewhere unknown~_

A tall, green figure with longish white hair is mixing something in a beaker on the counter. He picks up a hard white substance. “A touch of dragonscale…the key ingredient,” he stated, dropping it in the beaker. The whole mixture bubbles up, somewhat violently, before settling down -- it is an aqua blue color now when stable. 

He smiled, his light colored violet eyes gleaming. A few more ingredients and it will be ready. 

Bzzzz! His phone rang. It’s his Skype. He presses the button. A man’s face comes on. “How’s it going, warlock?” a gruff voice asks. “You better be worth what I paid you for.”

“That’s Deschamel to you, Dearborn. All that and more, my darling,” the green figure stated haughtily as his violet eyes flashed brightly with annoyance. He waved his hand over the beaker, then held it in front of the phone display for the man to see.

He then proceeded to pour a little bit of the mixture onto a bug that just happened to crawl by.

They watched as the bug flipped over immediately, arching its back as if it was in agony, appeared to turn inside out, then slowly dissolve as if acid was thrown onto it.

Deschamel immediately grinned a feral grin, holding the beaker in one hand as he danced around the room. "Ah, not even the current High Warlock Rey could nullify this toxin -- the warlock would need to be of Edomic origin. Specifically, Asmodeus's son -- the Prince of Edom. But ah, wait! He doesn't have any more magic. Ah wells, such a pity for Lightwood," he sang in a falsetto.

An evil, conniving grin stretched across Dearborn’s face. “That’s amazing. Our dear boy won’t know what hit him,” he stated vehemently. 

“Right,” Deschamel stated, his voice suddenly all aloof and business-like again. “So, here’s your demonstration. “You’re still going to wire me the other half of the money right after it is done?” His violet eyes stared intensely into the phone at Pangborn.

“Most definitely,” Dearborn said firmly, still smiling widely. He nodded a goodbye to Deschamel, and then turned off his phone. He sat back in his armchair, taking a deep breath of satisfaction, relishing the memory of the bug practically being burned from the inside out.

_ **He couldn’t wait for the sparks to fly.** _


	6. On the Precipice

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Getting quite comfy in his position in Edom, Asmodeus receives a most unexpected visitor.  
Magnus is still having issues...  
Magnus visits Alec again, and wishes he could make him better.  
Unbeknownst to everyone, some malignant forces and actions are going to wreak havoc on everything.

The red skies of Edom blazed red, orange, and yellow brilliance above the endless rolling red sand plains. With the exception of the occasional spurt of hellfire from the various geysers scattered throughout Edom, there was barely any Edomic activity.

From the high tower of his castle, Asmodeus stood by the window of the master bedroom, his hands laced behind his back. He had a contemplative look on his face. 

His blazing cat eyes scanned quickly over the skies and rolling plains of Edom. 

He sighed deeply, a sigh of satisfaction. It was peaceful. No sign of pesky Lillith or her minions in the midst. 

Thanks to Magnus's magic, he had been able to keep them from running rampshod all over the place. 

It was quite unfortunate, the situation in which Magnus had put upon himself. He shook his head in resignation. Magnus's half human side, the side currently ruling his heart and morals, was a weakness that had forced his hand. 

He still couldn't believe that Magnus had voluntarily given up his magic.

And all for the love for a Nephilim, that annoying Alec Lightwood.

Actually Magnus's efforts hadn't even been for Alec, but for his parabatai, the annoying golden boy who had been inadvertently possessed by the Owl, a minion of Lillith. 

Now that had been quite the news all over Edom; most demons were cackling about how Nephilim had been bested by one from Edom.

Asmodeus had been just a bit peeved that Lillith had been ingenious enough to break through to the surface, after her son Jonathan had been killed by Shadowhunters. She had enacted the perfect revenge, by turning one of their own against them. 

As far as Asmodeus was concerned, Lillith becoming injured as a result of the Mark of Cain had been a happy accident that he had welcomed. Of course he had gone to her castle to give his condolences shortly after she had been banished back to Edom. 

After all, he needed to keep up appearances.

How pathetic she had looked, with her aura at 50 percent. One could tell she was really hurting and seething. She had looked at him with undisguised jealousy, having noticed the purple aura he now had. 

"Is that new?" she had asked, trying to sound civil as she wagged her finger at him in her usual condescending way. But he had seen through her facade, and felt the darkness behind her question.

His brain suddenly registered a presence near the castle, interrupting his thoughts. 

A visitor, someone familiar, has entered Edom. But who? He had not been expecting anyone. And even if it had been Magnus, the wards would have garnered some resistance. 

Magnus was only half-blood, after all.

A tall brooding shadowy figure suddenly appeared in the doorway of the bedroom, with a choker at his neck with a jewel, and wearing a grand outfit fit for royalty.

“It’s been a long time, nephew,” a deep booming voice said, with a touch of amusement. “Don’t I get a hug?”

Asmodeus whirled around. “Lucifer!” 

His uncle. Well, uncle to him -- and the ultimate Devil to everyone else, in myth and legend.

Hmm. He steps toward him, then stops short.

He eyed him a bit warily. “What brings you here?” he asked, his typical wariness putting up its walls again. Even as a Greater Demon, he would not trust his brethren for anything.

“Oh don’t be so suspicious, just thought I would stop by to see how my favorite nephew is doing,” Lucifer states flippantly.

Asmodeus snorts, “Ah favorite eh? As in, “I want to banish you so Edom becomes a free for all” favorite?”

Lucifer throws his head back and laughs heartily.

“Don’t worry, that ship sailed long ago for me,” he said lightly. In his mind the wheels were returning. He had favored Azazael over Asmodeus despite the fact that Asmodeus was much more powerful.

However Azazael was long gone, after a Nephilim had shot an arrow through him.

Lucifer, admittedly, had never liked Asmodeus's personality, which consisted of a big chip on his shoulder -- a superiority complex. But he was currently ruling Edom; thus a minimal amount of respect needed to exist.

Asmodeus’s son, Magnus, on the other hand, was the complete opposite. He had never made a play for Edom. He never brandished his power as a way to compete -- which inadvertently gained him favor with Lucifer.

In fact, Magnus had quickly become his favorite champion, even if Magnus himself had not been aware of this.

Anyway, he found himself looking closely at Asmodeus. That purple glow about him -- it wasn't common, even among the upper echelon of Greater Demons. He had sensed a difference in Edom as soon as he entered the atmosphere. He had been shocked to learn it was coming from Asmodeus. 

Not only that, Asmodeus's aura had not only reflected his own magic; there was an additional source combined with it now.

The purple aura was crackling with power; sparks would occasionally fly from the edges, and Lucifer could feel small rumblings emanating from the castle itself.

_Magnus_, his mind said. 

Asmodeus currently had ownership of Magnus's magic?

That purple aura belonged to Magnus!

Firstly, what was Asmodeus doing with it?

Secondly, he never recalled Magnus having that purple magic, ever. Wasn't his magic blue and red at the most?

There was one more thing about Magnus's magic --something else that was triggering his senses, Lucifer thought. But he couldn't quite put a finger on it yet. 

Judging from the crackling and sparks, it was certainly unstable. Lucifer just needed a little more time to find out more about this situation. He would need to keep Asmodeus talking for a little bit more, to see if he would reveal how he acquired Magnus's magic.

“I sense your son's magic around you,” Lucifer stated. "How did that come to pass?"

Asmodeus preened. “Ah, so you could sense that," he said proudly. "Yes, he did, in order to save the soul of his Nephilim friends. Ugh, my son is so naive; he has gotten way too soft,” he said, buffing his fingernails as he rolls his eyes. He shook his head, smiling with a touch of sorrow.

Lucifer considered this silently, as his senses continued scanning the purple magic. There was definitely an anomaly fused with Magnus’s magic. It seemed…darker – and practically equal to Asmodeus’s.

Dare he say, even more so? 

But that was impossible. Asmodeus was one of the original Fallen Angels, and no offspring could potentially even reach the limits of power of that.

But Lucifer was rarely wrong, as his own power surpassed even Asmodeus’s magic. This darker power that Magnus possessed now, had the potential to become even darker, if Magnus were able to possess it again. Magnus could in effect end up much more powerful than Asmodeus. 

With regard to the bloodlines to the throne, that would really make Magnus the real potential King of Edom, _not_ Asmodeus. 

How much did he want to bet that Magnus was not aware of this – but that this bastard Asmodeus knew it, and thus had even a greater incentive to take his magic from him? 

Ah this cheating bastard, thought Lucifer darkly.

"The magic becomes you," Lucifer said, maintaining a smile while lying through his teeth.

As he predicted, Asmodeus seemed to inflate himself, his ego being stroked by Lucifer's words. "Yes, having his magic has been instrumental in helping to keep the peace around here," he replied with a flourish. "I was actually -- OW!"

Asmodeus had keeled over, holding his head in pain. Around his head, the purple magic was now popping like a firecracker. It was so erratic that even Lucifer took a step back. 

"That doesn't look good, nephew," he observed. 

"Just a passing headache," Asmodeus said, gritting his teeth, attempting to smile. Actually, these headaches had been growing in frequency ever since he had put Lillith and her minions in place, shortly after Magnus had returned to the surface. 

He winced again as another sharp pain attacked him. Ugh, these were pretty excruciating though…

“Actually, uncle,” he stated, trying to keep the desperation out of his voice. “Might you know of something about this? Not that it’s really bothering me, but I was just curious. You might have noticed that the magic is a purple color, right?” He winced again.

Lucifer attempted an innocent look. “Hmm,” he mentioned nonchalantly, “Now that you mention it, yes now it is starting to emerge. I don’t recall that either of you had purple, right?” 

Asmodeus continued, as if he had not detected the slight in Lucifer’s voice.

“Yes, actually I believe that the anomaly came about after I had tried to remove magic shackles that I had summoned onto Magnus. He had tried to portal back to the surface, but failed and rebounded back into Edom. He came back like a raging Edomic fireball, sparking up everywhere. I had to restrain him immediately! So I summoned shackles onto him and locked him in a dungeon for his own safety. He didn’t see it that way though and spent three days trying to get them off. Unfortunately, the extreme situation with the shackles occurred. The shackles did not release automatically when I tried to spell them off. Instead there was an explosion when I finally took them off. Magnus ended up with a really dark purple aura, with his magic affecting things around him – that he wasn’t even aware of.” 

Asmodeus paused for a moment, and then a slight smile came on his face.

“I consider that I did him a favor by asking for his magic. So he could be free of the anomaly.”

At least Asmodeus was trying to garner a smile while attempting to be believable regarding his altruism regarding Magnus’s situation. Right now his head was really killing him. He glanced at Lucifer, waiting for himto say something, anything, but about these shackles and the effect of infused magic upon them.

_“…This magic does not belong to you, Asmodeus. It is going to destroy you from the inside out…”_

Who was saying those words? Asmodeus’s eyes widened, and he suddenly looked around nervously. 

Then his eyes met Lucifer’s, who was surveying him with cool curiosity. His gaze was intense and knowing. How much did he know? 

Asmodeus shivered, feeling a rare burst of insecurity. He looked away, taking a deep breath. He just needed to keep it together a bit longer, at least until Lucifer left. 

Asmodeus turned back to Lucifer, managing a smile.

“Would you like some tea, uncle?” he asked in a dulcet voice. All he needed was to stay calm and even. Just until Lucifer left. After all, he wouldn’t stay for too much longer, right? Lucifer couldn’t even stand Edom.

Then he would just deal with these weird occurrences on his own…

Meanwhile, Lucifer smiled back at Asmodeus, his mind racing. Asmodeus was obviously trying to remain calm, but he was hurting -- badly. He could see his nephew’s aura; it was definitely unstable. Was that what the magic was doing to him. 

Now what had he said? 

The origin of the magic -- was from those shackles? Now, why did that sound so familiar to him? 

Think, Lucifer, think! he thought to himself as he attempted to recall centuries upon centuries of knowledge. He believed he had come across this somewhere before – that such an incident had occurred before in Edom. 

“Yes, tea sounds lovely,” Lucifer said, with as sickening sweet of a voice. “So, tell me what else has been happening with you.”

Two could play this game. Lucifer’s smile widened. Now to figure out the deal with these shackles and the rebound magic.

And perhaps play this to his advantage…

*****

_Meanwhile, in Alicante…_

“Consul Penhallow,” Mr. Dearborn boomed, upon entering her office.

Jia rose up from her mahogany desk to greet the visitor, whom had been announced as an unscheduled guest by the guards just moments ago.

“To what do I owe the pleasure of this visit?” Jia inquired.

Inwardly she grimaced. The last thing she wanted to do was to talk to this slimeball. He was one of the older members of the Clave, and resistant to change. 

  
  


Ever since she had made Consul, she has had run-ins with Pangborn, most of which were barely cordial, and more tinged with unspoken challenges. 

  
  


She had not liked that one bit. 

  
  


She had worked so hard to get where she currently was. 

  
  


She was not going to have a wrinkly, insolent member of the Clave tell or treat her any differently.

“Consul,” Mr.Dearborn said politely. “I am sure you are aware of the situation facing the New York Institute, with Alec Lightwood in the hospital, his health status in question.” 

“Yes, I am aware. Are you bringing me any updates regarding that?” Jia pressed.

“I’m sure you are aware that by not having a Head at the Institute, there is great potential for the Institute to fall into chaos,” Mr. Dearborn continued, as if he had not heard Jia’s response. 

  
  


“Alec Lightwood being in a coma, with an indefinite prognosis, leaves the leadership open and in question. Who exactly is running the Institute in his absence? And of course that warlock boyfriend of his has absolutely no status with regard to this –”

“With all due respect, Mr. Dearborn, I assure you that we have that situation covered,” Jia stated firmly. “Alec’s sister Isabelle Lightwood and my daughter Aline are working with the other Shadowhunters in re-establishing roles and getting missions completed during Alec Lightwood’s absence.”

“Alec Lightwood has not been perfect, but he does mean well. His initiatives have been groundbreaking and are exactly what the Clave needs. I want to continue to keep him on as Head, and hopefully everyone is wishing for his condition to turn around so he can continue to lead. I trust that is your intention as well, right Mr. Dearborn?” she asked, giving Mr. Dearborn a steely look.

Mr. Dearborn appeared to shivel a little bit under her gaze. Then he huffed and gave her a smile. “Why of course,” he said blithely. “All my best to Alec Lightwood, let’s hope the week brings better news. Now if you don’t mind, I have somewhere to be. Thank you again for meeting with me.

“As you were,” Jia stated, as Mr.Dearborn turned on his heel and walked out into the hallway.

Dearborn kept walking down the hallway, his smile turning into a sneer. He needed to check in with Deschamel to make sure the plans were set for tonight. He picked up his phone and dialed his number.

Dearborn,” the green warlock’s face appeared on the screen.

“Double-check the schedules again to make sure there aren’t any last minute changes to the shifts. We need to duck in during quiet times so that there’s no chance a staff member can walk in. Are you sure you can do this quickly?” he asked urgently.

The green warlock smiled widely. “I will be in and out, not a problem. I already know what I need to do. No problem. I also added one more thing, my personal parting gift to Alec Lightwood. It will be the last thing he experiences in this life,” he cackled.

Dearborn guffawed.

“Knowing you, Deschamel – it is probably one of your sarcastic one-liners. You are really something,” he said admiringly.

“Talk to you once the mission is complete,” the warlock stated, and hung up.

*************

Lucifer and Asmodeus had managed to stay civil and impartial over tea. Well, for the most part. 

Actually it was more the unspoken exchange between them that was revealing -- Asmodeus would be talking, then wincing, as the purple aura around him sparked madly. Lucifer would then lean in, and ask, “Are you okay, nephew?” while giving him a knowing look. This occurred every so often during their conversation

The talk had turned to Lillith, and Asmodeus was about to say something belittling about her, when suddenly he screamed, keeled over in his seat and fell to the floor.

“Asmodeus!” Lucifer said, rushing down to him. Asmodeus was still conscious but looking at him with fear in his eyes. Asmodeus was looking down – at his hands, which suddenly looked like they were badly burned, blistering purple. The aura was sparking like crazy.

“I appear to have made a grave error in judgment,” he muttered, his breaths becoming more shallow.

Oh dear, Lucifer thought. Now he remembered what was the side effect from this type of rebounding magic. Whoever had the shackles on – and thus whoever infused their magic into them, the newly combined (dark) magic now belonged to the owner, only. If anyone else tried to possess the magic, it would wreak havoc on their own body, maybe even kill them. Lucifer recalled the last time this had happened, it was thousands of years ago, to a friend that ended up not surviving the transition. 

As it was, Asmodeus was not looking good, despite being a fallen Angel – normaly fallen Angel would be able to withstand these things.

Except, Lucifer thought, Asmodeus was no longer the strongest being in Edom. Now it would be Magnus. This magic wanted to return, to him. Only in Magnus’s hands, would this magic potentially stabilize. And that is if he did not use to enact some crazy spell or concoction which would set it off yet again…

Lucifer’s hand flew to his jeweled choker, which actually served double duty as a compartment capable of storing powerful dark magic, to keep it grounded temporarily.

Hmm, maybe it’s time to act like the super helpful uncle, he thought.

“Asmodeus,” Lucifer stated. “I need to tell you something about your magic…”

Not ten minutes later, Asmodeus’s eyes had widened in fear, and he started pleading, “Take it, uncle. Please. I can’t take this burning. Please!”

Lucifer smiled. “Anything for you, nephew,” he said softly. He untied the back of his jeweled choker and held it in his hand. With one flick he opened up the compartment. Next, he placed his hand onto Asmodeus’s burning flesh, which was still dark purple and sparking. He muttered a spell, and the dark purple magic quickly flew from his hands with a huge _Whoosh!_ \-- into the compartment Lucifer held in his hand.

Lucifer then sealed the compartment tightly with a muttering of words, and refastened the choker around his neck.

Asmodeus’s whole body shuddered as he looked up faintly at his uncle.

“Thank you,” he said, his eyes unfocused, and he passed out in front of him.

“Always,” Lucifer stated. 

He looked down at this hands, which were just faintly glowing purple. For some reason this happened the last time as well, when he had held onto the magic temporarily. Not even the magical compartment could contain the magic.

He knew he couldn’t hold onto it for very long, though. 

The magic wanted its owner back – and it would get him back. No matter what.

*************

_In Alec’s hospital room, morning _

Magnus sat by Alec’s bedside watching Alec breathe in and out.

Well, that’s about as much as he could do right now, given Alec’s condition. 

Still no sign of improvement, but at least Alec had been stable the past few days, according to Catarina. 

He wished he could say the same about himself. 

He still had not been able to get much sleep, as the nightmares were growing more frequent. He had also seen Asmodeus in his dreams, sparking a dark purple aura, and occasionally keeling over with pains that seemed oddly similar to the episodes he had been experiencing. 

He couldn't help but smile whenever recalling those dreams. That had been his only consolation -- seeing his father suffer for taking his magic away from him.

Magnus's headaches were still coming occasionally. He had also been suffering feelings of dread, especially upon learning about the aftereffects of the rebounding magic of the shackles. He still felt very much on edge, and short of patience, along with having a short temper – definite personality changes associated with what he experienced in Edom. 

The other day, he recalled that some Shadowhunters had made a remark in passing about Alec as he walked by.

"So the Head of the Institute is all laid up, huh," an unfamiliar male voice had stated. Magnus had half turned, seeing that it was a Shadowhunter named Duncan who had been talking.

The female next to him had replied, "Yep. Wonder how long it's going to be before they appoint someone else to be Head. Does anyone know who's in the running?"

Duncan laughed. "As long as it's someone who isn't trying to invite every Riff Raff from the street to join any alliances. What's next, Mundanes? You would think --"

Before Magnus knew what had happened, his fist and body had barreled into Duncan's, interrupting his tirade, and knocking him onto the ground. 

The girl had stood there, speechless. Magnus was still a bit stunned, half lying over Duncan, who looked like he was about to spew forth profanities.

Then a rich familiar laugh rang out, and the girl looked up. One could see the hearts immediately form in her eyes.

The laugh belonged to a very familiar pair of heterochromatic eyes, framed with longish golden bangs. "Adriana, I think it would be best if you just walked away, none the wiser," Jace said in his smooth player voice. Adriana stared at him a little bit, before an embarrassed smile appeared on her face. 

"Training tomorrow?" he chided, winking at her.

"Really?" the girl breathed, almost squeaking.

"Training room at 1pm," he confirmed. "Dress to impress," he added jokingly. The girl looked like she was about to faint.

This exchange had not been lost on Magnus, who had been eyeing Jace appraisingly.

"As for you, Duncan," Jace continued, now turning his attention to the Shadowhunter still sprawled on the floor underneath Magnus's weight, "I'm going to forget you said that. And you are lucky Magnus didn't exert his full potential on you. He's actually a pretty decent fighter. Now I suggest you get up and get out of my sight.

Duncan fumbled as he quickly got up, mumbled an apology to both Magnus and Jace, and quickly turned to walk away.

Magnus regarded Jace with grudging admiration.

"Not bad, Shadowhunter," he admitted.

Jace had grinned just then.

"No problem, although if I were you, I would try to keep those spontaneous bodyslams to a minimum. Not everyone will be as easy to subdue as those two," he confided, using a light tone of voice. His eyes, however, were dead serious. "I know Alec wouldn't want anything happening to you."

A meaningful look crossed between both men.

Magnus had blinked back the tears which had suddenly come into his eyes. 

"Thank you, Jace," he had managed to choke out.

....

His thoughts came back to the present. These crazy occurrences...

Again he silently cursed his father for what he did to him.

However, there was no place for such feelings here, at least for now. Now he was visiting Alec, and he was not going to do anything to aggravate his condition. He was just here, as Catarina had advised, to talk to Alec, just keep talking to Alec – you just never know what might trigger him to wake up etc.

Magnus smiled, and took Alec’s hand which had fallen on his side. He lifted it to his lips, kissing it tenderly.

“Hi there, it’s me,” Magnus said softly.

He laughed to himself.

“I hope you rested well,” he began awkwardly, then laughed to himself again. “Oh what a silly thing to say.” 

He laced his fingers with Alec’s limp hand, just holding it as tightly as he could. 

His eyes fell upon Alec’s face and sleeping form again, noticing that a lock of his hair had fallen across his face. He moved to brush it aside tenderly.

“Lillith, you are gorgeous. But you always have been perfect,” Magnus whispered, taking his perfectly lacquered finger and tracing Alec’s jawbone. “My perfect angel.”

Alec indeed resembled the perfect angel, with his eyes closed. Dark locks of wavy hair nestled against ivory skin, and long dark lashes fluttering slightly as he lay on the bed, his chest rising and falling steadily. Magnus missed seeing his eyes -- those gorgeous hazel eyes with the flecks of green in this. Those eyes that would crinkle when Alec turned up a genuine smile or laugh. Those eyes that would dilate whenever they were alone, together.

Magnus missed all of that, and him. 

“I miss you Alexander,” he said, his voice choking up slightly. “I miss seeing you at breakfast. I miss cuddling with you in bed. I miss our talks every day. I miss how we greet one another at the beginning and at the end of the day after we both have returned from missions or meetings.” His eyes teared up. “I guess I just miss…us.”

Magnus shut his eyes and dipped his head, trying to keep more tears from coming out. He really wasn’t doing anyone any good to cry.

He then decided to keep talking, to keep himself from getting too emotional too soon. 

"I went to see Madzie yesterday. She's learning some new magic; of course she's been picking things up at extraordinary speed, as usual. And we played Sharks and Minnows -- I know that's your game with her but she wanted to play anyway. She says hi, and she misses you...her Uncle Alec. Chairman Meow is the same, just as demanding as usual. I know he definitely misses you. Over the past week, we’ve called a truce -- he’s been leaping into my lap, purring like crazy – but of course you know that’s your lap he wants You were always his favorite…” 

Magnus’s ringed hand gently runs his fingers softly through Alec’s dark hair.

“I don’t even know what’s going on with me,” he sighs.

Then he laughed self-consciously. 

“It’s been weird since I returned from Edom, without the magic,” he admitted to Alec and the room. “But, I kinda feel like something else came back with me. I’ve been having nightmares, and I don’t sleep too well. Even Catarina and Tessa have felt it. I wasn’t even allowed in the Spiral Labyrinth because of it. Isn’t that crazy?”

He took a deep breath. He was starting to feel weird talking to himself. 

Well, he was technically talking to Alec, but still…

“It feels isolating, knowing something that others aren’t aware of yet. Isabelle has been great and impartial, but I know she knows that something’s up. If you had been here when I returned, I know I could have gotten through this so much better. I could always handle everything better with you around to support me. Even when I was in Edom, just the thought of me returning to you kept me determined to make it back, even when my father had me in the dungeons. Even when I found out I had to give up my magic to save Jace, I thought that as long as I had you, that it wouldn’t matter.”

“But then things went wrong…and I ended up returning, and you were not here in the way that you should have been. We should be in each other’s arms, holding each other – not me sitting bedside next to you, connected to machines.”

He blinked back tears. “I wish I could hear your voice, telling me that you love me. And I wish I could see your brilliant smile when I tell you that I love you too,” he said, his voice cracking. “I want you to wake up, more than anything. 

He took Alexander’s hand and held it close to his chest.

“Sigh. If I had the power to be able to do this, I would do anything to be able to make it happen,” he whispered.

……

Meanwhile, in Edom, Lucifer felt a slight tug at his heart.

Er? What’s this? he thought, puzzled by the unfamiliar sensation. The next moment, it had popped into his mind.

Did Magnus just wish for something? Wait, how was he aware of this? How was Magnus able to do this, if he no longer had his magic?

He suddenly felt his hands grow warm. He looked down. The purple aura around his hands was glowing and vibrating.

___________________________________________

_Later than evening…_

Around the corner, a pair of eyes follow Magnus as he leaves Alec’s room. He watched Magnus turns the corner of the hallway and waited until he disappeared from view.

The figure then looked to his left, and then to his right. Certain there was no one left in the hallway, he raised his hands toward the cameras in the ceiling. With a quick snap, the cameras glaze over so now the screens look translucent. 

The figure then carefully stepped into the room, his footsteps not making the slightest sound. 

He gazed down at Alec, who was lying peacefully in bed, his even breaths making his chest rise and fall in rhythm. His eyes watched Alec for the next few minutes. He felt almost regretful of what he’s about to do. But the feeling soon dissipated. Business was business, and he was paid handsomely to do what needed to get done.

  
He walked to the IV machine, scanning it quickly. Then he flicked a thin test tube with aqua blue liquid into view, holding it in his palm. He held the test tube next to the IV and mutters a few words or phrases in an unrecognizable language. 

The liquid from the test tube disappeared, and then it reappeared in the IV bag. The figure’s bright violet eyes remained stoic as he watched the new mixture drain from the bag, through the machine, down the tube leading into Alec’s arm. 

As the liquid entered Alec’s arm, Alec’s body shuddered the tiniest bit.

The figure recoiled slightly -- his eyes riveted on Alecs body.

Then Alec’s body relaxed. The figure’s shoulders sagged in relief, as his eyes gleamed dangerously.

He checked one more time to make sure everything was secure, and then he spun on his heel and walks out the doorway. One second later, there is a poof!~ and there’s no one visible or in the hallways. The figure had simply disappeared.

The room and hallways are quiet again, except for the steady beeping of life support machines.

…

Outside of the Institute, a phone call is made.

“It’s done.”

******

_*inside Alec’s head*_

Within Alec’s peripheral vision, wisps of smoke suddenly appear from the far corner.

What's this? Alec wondered, staring at the spectacle. 

The smoke was black, steadily rising/spreading. Even in this semi-confused state -- which was actually his _regular state_ at the present due to his head injury – this was triggering alarms in the back of his mind. 

Instinctively, his body backed away from it, even with the three feet of distance between him and the intrusive smoke.

There is also a strange scent associated with it; it's making him feel sick and dizzy. He keels over as it assails his nostrils at close range. He retched his guts out. Nothing there, of course. He braces himself with one hand on the ground to keep himself from collapsing.

The smell suddenly seemed so much _stronger_.

Bleary-eyed, he looked up -- and the wisps of black smoke has become a thick wall of smoke. It is also less than a foot away! 

He recoils inwardly, a sense of dread washing over him, taking in a nervous breath. The black smoke suddenly rushed at his face and entered his nose(!), with that one breath. 

_How is that possible – ?!_

His eyes widened as the smoke entered his lungs. He started coughing, puffs of black smoke coming out in small spurts. He’s gasping for breath, his vision is getting blurry by the second ---

…but wait, suddenly a green aura emerged around him…and an apparition slowly materialized in front of him. 

The apparition took shape, resembling some species of Downworlder with green skin. There is a slight smile, tinged with pity, on his face.

“Hello, Mr. Head of the Institute,” the gravelly voice said in a breathy voice. “Consider this disclosure as an act of kindness. Someone really wants you dead, dead, dead. You have to understand, this isn’t anything personal. Money talks.” The figure then laughs ironically. “The Clave sure has some POS in there, don’t they. By the way, Dearborn really detests you. Too bad you won’t get to tell anyone else as this will kill you from the inside out in a relatively short time…and no one will able to figure out why since it is Edomic in origin. Goodbye, Mr. Lightwood.”

The apparition faded away.

– and then no smoke came out as he coughed. He suddenly choked mid-cough --choking, choking *gasp*, suffocating on whatever made it inside. His eyes and mouth fell open as he fell upon his knees, feeling the nastiness burn inside him. And the stuff in his mouth -- which had the consistency of sludge! – dropped out of his mouth, a giant dollop onto the ground, as black as death…

The rest of his body felt like it was imploding all at once, he could barely_ breathe_ –

_it feels as if a vacuum is sucking all the life from him_

_Dearborn?!_ – came his last thought, as he lost his breath, and sight as his head and body both crashed to the ground. 

He didn’t even feel the impact --

_All figuratively speaking, of course, this being inside of his own head…_

****************

_In Alec’s hospital room… _

The pale figure lying in the hospital bed, suddenly shuddered, as gasps for air escaped his lips. The body of Alec Lightwood started jerking and convulsing uncontrollably, as his head fell to the side. His eyes fluttered, his mouth dropped partially open. The wires and the IV connected to his body started shaking and lurching with the convulsions, slowly popping off one by one, the wilder the convulsions became.

The monitors started beeping erratically; his heartbeat suddenly raced to 120, rising faster and faster.

A thin line of blood rolled out from the edge of Alec’s mouth, the color of it black as opposed to the dark red it would have been normally. Then more blood came out from Alec’s mouth, causing reflexive coughing, and choking. Black colored blood splattered all over the side of the floor.

The body lurched around some more, uncontrollably, all his limbs flailing.

The monitor now registered the heartbeat racing toward the 200’s.

Now -- the alarms started ringing – reverberating through the room, through the halls of the Institute.

Alec’s body was still convulsing wildly, the blood spilling out from his mouth. His nose had started to bleed as well. His eyes have since rolled to the back of his head. His dark hair is damp with sweat against his too-pale forehead and face, plastered to the side of his face.

The footsteps came…louder and louder.

Then they came to a halt. An uneasy silence followed.

For one second.

“By the Angel…” a soft voice finally spoke in a voice edged with horror. More voices rushed forward, getting louder by the minute. Rustling ensued.

_“…ALEC! OMG, ALEC!” _

_“MEDIC!! All hands on deck! Bring the crash cart just in case! Oh…shit!”_

_…._

_Beneath the sheets the parabatai rune flickers…_

_…_

_In the training room at the the Institute.._

Jace had just fallen while doing a fighting move with his seraph blade in midair while sparring with Clary.

“ALEC!!!!” he screamed, his eyes wide with pain and horror, now lying on his side in agony and desperation.

Clary immediately dropped to her knees to attend to him, tears already running down her face.

“By the Angel,” she whispered fearfully. 

His parabatai rune disappeared for a second, then came back again, flickering, but faintly.

“Jace,” she gasped. “You need to get up. Your rune is still flickering. We need to go to the infirmary, _now_.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ...I'm sorry?


	7. A Mystical Turn, and The Promise

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Summoned through a vision, Magnus regains what was his to begin with.  
Interesting enough, this magic has a mind of its own, and creates changes in Magnus he had not expected.  
Magnus is shocked to find Alec in his current state.  
Magnus realizes the part he needs to play in order to bring Alec back 
> 
> ...from the pits of despair, Magnus finds his strength.

_Mood: Elegia – New Order_

It was quiet. So very quiet…it brought a chill, deep, deep into Magnus’s bones where he stood.

_“Magnus…Magnus…” _

The odd sounding voice kept calling his name, echoing for miles in all directions within the dreamscape.

It was really hard to see through the gray clouds that suddenly surrounded him.

Magnus hated it when his visions or waking dreams sent him to unknown destinations, and especially when they were occluded like this.

Not being able to see where he currently was, he assumed a defensive stance as the clouds dissipated.

And found himself standing alone in a desolate looking area with dark skies. 

There were barely anything on the horizon to be seen for miles... perhaps a dead looking tree here and there. 

Magnus breathed a sigh of relief, as he recognized where he had ended up.

He knew exactly where he was.

He was currently in the place known as the_ Otherworld _– where beings from topside and other realms met in passing during one's dreams or visions. 

Well, at least magical beings and those from the Shadow World, that is.

_“Magnus…Magnus..”_

There it was again. That voice. Sounding from afar, and yet so near.

Magnus looked around, growing more and more confused.

He was obviously summoned here, but why? And how was he able to be here, being that he was Mundane now, with no magic? 

_Odd…_

Couldn't this vision at least look more creative? This was really lacking, Magnus thought, irritated.

He hugged his arms around himself, shivering as he felt a cool wind hit him. The demin jacket, black pants and shoes that he had thrown on earlier this morning in a rush, was barely enough to keep him warm.

_Something was here. It wanted to see him._

Billows of purple smoke suddenly rose from the ground.

"Magnus Bane, how've you grown." 

Magnus stiffened at hearing his name from odd sounding, deep voice. 

Yet he felt compelled to turn around. 

An unfamiliar tall lanky figure, glowing with a red aura sparking dark purple flairs, slowly materialized in front of him.

He looked strangely familiar. And yet, at the same time, he did not.

The figure stood before him, looking at him with undisguised reverence and familiarity. 

There was something slightly intimidating about him; and yet Magnus did not feel fear.

Ah well. Magnus was in no mood to be intimidated right now. He had had enough of beings infiltrating his visions.

This was the last straw.

"Who dares address me that way? I am not your familiar," Magnus said darkly. His own voice echoed throughout the region, surprising even himself. “Why are you bothering me now?”

Why was he being forced to talk with this stranger – especially one who so arrogantly assumed he could just come into his vision and _demand _to be heard...

_How dare he?!_

The figure chuckled.

"Oh, c'mon. Don't be like that, my child. You met me before when you were 9. Your father had brought you over to my realm for a visit. You're grown up quite strapping and nicely since then...We actually got along quite well, back then, you and I. I showed you that particular spell on how to hypnotize your father so you could run off, without him realizing how long you had been gone. I was so proud when you would make your short lived escapades each time, making Asmodeus crazy every time he couldn't find you."

The figure chuckled again.

"The adventures you had, with those Shadowhunters and warlock friends... In which you discovered more of your own powers. One of which you learned to fuse enough power together to create a portal. I was so proud of you..."

"That certainly proved valuable in you finally being able to banish your father to Edom later on so you could finally escape and live your own life..."

Magnus's eyes widened in recognition as he took in everything this figure was saying. 

Faint yet warm memories started trickling back into his stream of consciousness...

"Uncle Lucifer," he whispered. It had been eons since he had last seen him.

However, since it had been a long time since Magnus had last seen him, he regarded him with some reservation.

Even though his uncle had not done anything to make him dislike him, he still was not sure if he could trust him.

He was after all, still the Devil.

_But why was he here --_

"Yes," Lucifer responded as if nothing Magnus's confusion. "Yea, yea, I know I appeared in your vision, without any provocation. I do apologize for that. But you need to know, I came because of you. You contacted me."

"I did??"

Lucifer nodded. \

"Yes. I felt you wish for something. I think it was because of this," he said, as he lifted out the amulet from below his shirt collar. 

Magnus just stared at it. Somehow he felt like it was calling to him...

The amulet suddenly shook, with dark purple sparks coming out from it.

Lucifer brought his hand to the amulet and encircled it with his fingers.

"I believe what is inside, belongs to you, Magnus," he said. 

He took it off and held it out in his hand. 

The amulet floated upwards away from his hand, and just hung there in mid-air between them.

"What?" Magnus asked, surprised at the certainty with which Lucifer was speaking. 

"Your magic," Lucifer stated.

He regarded Magnus thoughtfully, whose eyes were drawn to the amulet in mid-air.

Lucifer licked his lips. "I can tell you recognize it. It's calling to you, isn't it..." 

"I'm giving it back to you, Magnus. I have a feeling it will help you achieve what you were wishing for. However, I think you know by now that it's tainted with the magic from the shackles. I fear that if you do use it for a powerful spell, the consequences may be irreversible. So you need to be absolutely certain in your decision."

Magnus was taken aback. 

“You are giving me my magic back? But, doesn’t my father possess it at the moment?” 

His eyes widened as he considered the possibilities. “Unless, something happened to him…”

Lucifer shook his head. 

“No, no, nothing happened to him. He’s still the same bastard that I always end picking a fight with every time we meet…”

Magnus couldn’t help cracking up at that. That was true, after all. 

“Anyway, the magic was not his to have, no matter how much he fought for it to be otherwise. It started giving him problems – where it was beginning to hurt him more to possess it, than to relinquish it –”

“Really? I can’t fathom that,” Magnus said, surprised.

He had never heard of his father relinquishing anything just like that. Asmodeus was the type that wanted to own anything and everything -- especially his son’s magic in order to increase his own power. 

Despite himself, Magnus couldn’t help smiling at Asmodeus’s misfortune.

“Believe me, my thoughts exactly. But yea, he wasn’t looking good at all, not by a long shot,” Lucifer laughed. "To his credit, he sure put up a good fight..."

“When I first felt the presence of the magic, I didn’t wholly recognize it. Only until I went into my memories two centuries ago, then I recalled a faint memory of encountering a warlock with the same cursed magic. He was one of the best wielders of magic and swordsman during the Renaissance era. But the magic got too strong for even himself to handle, and it eventually consumed him. I knew this because he came directly to me when he crossed. Luckily I had discovered this amulet around that time as well so I was able to contain the magic and then banish it away. But somehow it appeared again in those magic shackles. It also tried to reach you by channeling through me. My hands were glowing dark purple when you made a conscious wish. That’s why I’m here.”

Lucifer gestured toward the amulet, floating in midair. It continued to spark dark purple and red. 

“My possession of this is also only temporary. Eventually the magic would try to leave me, also – even killing me in the process if I tried to hold on to it for too long,” he added. “The magic would have eventually found you, whether you wanted it back or not.”

Magnus could only shake his head in wonder.

“Apparently the magic is unstable, when held by anyone else other than its owner. This magic is yours, Magnus. As soon as you claimed it, even by sheer misfortune, it belonged to you. It was not within his rights to take it from you in the first place,” Lucifer stated. 

“And you are just giving back to me, just like that,” Magnus said slowly. He narrowed his eyes.

"What is your price? Despite this exceptional situation where the magic wants to come back to me, you did serve as its messenger. So there must be a price for that," he added.

Lucifer smiled serenely as he shook his head.

"There is no price, from me -- which is unfortunate, since I tend to be somewhat fair.” 

He smirked as Magnus quirked his eyebrows at him. 

Lucifer sounded – empathetic, tinged with pity?

But why?

“The price will be extracted from _you_, if you choose to use the magic in that way. In other words, you would truly be accountable for your own actions..."

(ALARMS SOUNDING in the background)

"... And that's my cue to leave," Lucifer stated. 

"Wait," Magnus said. _ He needed to know more!!_

Lucifer put his arm on Magnus’s forearm, giving him an almost paternal look, tinged with pity. 

"I believe you are needed now, Magnus. _Go to him," _he stated.

Lucifer stated to fade. 

"Go to who?" Magnus asked. "Where are you going???"

Magnus stared at the fading apparition, with almost a wistfulness he couldn't name. 

Despite it being less than ideal, Lucifer had acted more like a father to him in these few moments, than Asmodeus had ever acted toward him during his entire life.

"I'm no longer needed," Lucifer replied. "_But you are needed_. You know who you need to go to. Just follow your gut," Lucifer said faintly as he completely disappeared from view.

As he did, a purple light suddenly flashed from the amulet, and that too was gone.

Alexander, Magnus's brain suddenly registered, as the alarms started increasing in volume.

_Alexander!!!_ he thought, his heart beating faster in his chest.

Suddenly he felt a burst -- of magic? -- explode within his veins.

It was so powerful, it surged through his entire body. 

When it reached his head, the searing pain was so intense, he fell to his knees, gasping. 

His vision almost went black. He was only aware that he was still kneeling on the ground. 

Magnus fought internally to keep himself grounded, and to keep from passing out.

He remained there for a minute, trying to catch his breath. He took deep gulps of air, as he felt the power surge through his entire body.

After awhile, he opened his eyes. Throught his dark long bangs that brushed his cheeks.

And noticed the dark purple aura glowing around his fingers.

Purple?? he thought, eyes widening. And not just purple. Dark purple, almost the color of black... 

Simultaneously, his hand flew to his hair, the dark bangs in his face. Wait, he thought, trying to gain his bearings. Hadn't he spiked his hair up into his usual quiff hairstyle before his left this morning?! But...his hair was definitely not this long when his hair was down. 

Before it had been above his eyebrows.

But now, enough of it was hanging down in his face! How strange.

The amulet…it was now hanging around his throat. But how?

He looked down at himself, still half in shock.

Did his clothing change, too? No longer wearing his demin jacket and black pants, now he was dressed in some dark purple Renaissance style long sleeve blazer, pants off the same color, with black boots.

_With a sling across his torso and a sword on his back –(?)_

What the --- !!

Magnus was so utterly confused at this moment…

_This was strange indeed!_

_Was he still in the vision, or not? _

However all thoughts left him, as he felt his eyes flash and a sensation in both hands.

A portal suddenly appeared before him. He looked down at his hands, which had remnants of magic just having been used.

But he had not physically conjured this portal!

Lucifer’s words came back to him.

_“Go to him, now.”_

_So, wait.._

Had his magic conjured this portal, as a response to his thoughts of Alec??

He didn't even know how he felt about that. That was not how regular conjuring worked! At least it wasn’t how it was supposed to operate, topside….or even what was _remotely _acceptable in Edom!!

But no time to think about the particulars…

Vision or not, he needed to get to Alec!

Magnus resolutely walked through the portal, his only priority being that he needed to get to Alec, asap.

Somehow he knew that this portal would lead him to Alec’s room. 

Don’t ask how he knew, he just did.

His gut was telling him something was incredibly wrong.

  


…

  


A moment later, Magnus found himself staring at the sight before him, his brain no longer functioning.

He had stepped out of the portal, back to reality. 

Right into Alec’s hospital room -- wait, how was he even allowed here? In his contract with the Clave, he had set up wards that prevented even himself from being able to portal in, as a form of protection for the Clave. 

But here he was, _inside_.

Faced with a tense looking Catarina -- her posture appeared stressed, obstinate, and having a look of -- empathy? pity? – on her face. She had placed herself strategically between the portal as it was opening, and Alec’s bed. 

The bed was now surrounded by a magical field, of which Catarina was actively powering.

Catarina whirled around almost immediately upon the intrusion, assuming a defensive stance, the magical field dissipating as power returned to her hands as she faced the opened portal. "What in Lillith," she had hissed, her eyes wide with shock. She raised her arm to strike, her yellow magic swirling around her palm. 

Magnus, shocked at seeing this directed at him, stumbled backwards. 

“Catarina?” he asked uncertainly.

The look of confusion that appeared on Catarina's face, accompanied with some hard staring…and then surprise and unabashed relief reflected on her face, as she surveyed him. 

What strange reactions, Magnus thought.

Then again, maybe NOT so strange, being that he looked _completely_ different. He had almost forgotten about that!

“Magnus!” she said surprised, lowering her arm. “Oh my god, I thought you were someone else. Thank goodness it’s you.” She stepped forward, but then stopped, looking confused. "Wait, how were you even able to portal in --"

“Wait, it is you, right?”

She had cut off her own sentence, sounding even more perplexed. 

She made a gesture with her hand, circling her face and then down her torso. “There’s a silver stripe in your hair. And it’s long!” she exclaimed. “_Also, your clothing. _You look like you stepped right out of the Middle Ages –"

Then her face registered shock. “Wait -- you have your magic back–”

“Yes, my magic is back,” he replied calmly. 

He ran his fingers through his new longish hair self-consciously. He still wasn’t used to that…

“I don’t know how to tell you this --,” she began, her voice faltering.

Magnus took a deep breath.

“Please stand aside, Catarina,” he said, not in an unkind tone, trying to keep his voice controlled.

Catarina pressed her lips together, and nodded tightly as she did so.

As soon as she did that, Magnus’s mind went blank.

There, in the bed, lay Alec, with a ventilator on his face and more tubes attached to machines. His face was ashen gray, his dark hair matted to his face, and his face was sweaty. There was caked dark blood all over his gown and blankets, which Infirmary staff had yet to change. One arm hung limply over the side of the bed; the tips of his fingers looked slightly cyanotic. The side rails of this bed were up, and the head of the bed placed up almost 90 degrees.

Alec didn’t look good. Far from it.

In fact…he looked…looked….

Magnus fell to his knees, with a desperate cry as tears spilled down his cheeks.

Catarina immediately was down next to her friend, patting his back as he sobbed.

“W-What happened?” Magnus gasped when he was able to stop sobbing for a moment. 

“It’s critical,” Catarina whispered. “No one knows what happened. The alarms started ringing in the middle of the night, and Infirmary staff ran over here. Alec was convulsing, spitting up blood, and his eyes were rolled in the back of his head.” 

Catarina then hesitated.

Magnus knew there was more. “Catarina, please tell me everything. I need to know,” Magnus begged.

“He coded. Three times,” Catarina admitted tonelessly. 

The pain in her eyes was too much for Magnus to bear. 

“They had to use the defillibrator on him. Theres a brain bleed, and the pressure is really high. He is currently stable but he was placed on a ventilator. No one knows what’s wrong with him. His breathing is really shallow and his heart and respiratory rate are a little faster than we’d like.”

Magnus took this all in. 

He looked at Catarina.

“Catarina,” he said quietly. “There’s something you aren’t telling me, isn’t there.”

A hint of slight amusement came into Catarina’s eyes. Her friend knew her too well.

“Let’s go out in the hallway,” she murmured. She took him by the elbow and led him out.

“I flicked the cameras off when the security guard went for a break,” Catarina confided once they were in the hallway. “I did a scan on him. There’s an Edomic signature in his brain and throughout his body. Unfortunately, I think someone tampered with his IV, because I can’t imagine how anything like this was able to infiltrate his blood and pass the blood/brain barrier this quickly.” 

Magnus’s brain had stopped registering Catarina’s words by this time, as the grim reality set in.

“His blood is poisoned, Magnus, but I’m not sure from what. That goes beyond my level of expertise. And without knowing what it is, we can’t find an antidote or cure. His organs will eventually shut down, and his body will die from the inside out.”

Magnus’s eyes had widened as Catarina laid out the gruesome prognosis. His stomach turned. 

He quickly turned to the side and gagged. Nothing came out, but he felt extremely ill. 

A high frequency sound came on around him and he suddenly heard nothing but the loud rapid beating of his own heart. He felt Catarina rubbing the middle of his back in slow, soothing circles as he bent over, gasping for breath. 

“Oh Magnus,” she whispered.

This was a nightmare…

_Not his Alexander_, he thought desperately. 

His thoughts were racing, and his vision blurred. 

He couldn’t believe this was happening.

Alec. He could very well die –

_NOOOOOOO!_

A tingly sensation started building from his heart, seeming to push outward. He felt faint.

“Magnus.” It was Catarina, having spoken in a more fearful, urgent type of voice. Startled, he looked up.

“Your eyes. They’re red,” she whispered. “And your magic…”

Catarina looked frantic, her eyes darting back and forth.

He followed her gaze to the figure of Alec lying in the bed, now surrounded by the dark purple magic, sparking like crazy.

And the magic – it was coming from_ him_. His hands and legs were both glowing, and he assumed the rest of his body was as well, as he could really feel the magical spike within his veins.

“How is that happening?! I didn’t hear you chant anything. You didn’t even use your hands,” Catarina said in a small, hesitant voice. 

She seemed anxious. She was staring at Magnus, her expression guarded.

Magnus’s eyes flashed. The magic stopped, withdrawing itself from Alec. The scanning had been long enough, though, for him to pick up on certain things within Alec’s body, but he was not going to discuss this with Catarina just yet. 

“No, I didn’t,” he said.

He focused his gaze back on Catarina.

“Your eyes are still red,” she whispered. “They’re certainly interesting looking…”

Magnus blinked, and his brown glamour was back in place. “Sorry,” he said sheepishly.

“The magic responds to you _that _intuitively??” she asked, astounded.

Magnus looked away, suddenly feeling apprehensive. 

He nervously brought his hand to the amulet at his throat, fidgeting with it for a second.

“The shackles,” he finally responded after a minute. “Remember what we were researching at my loft the other night? We discovered that the shackles most likely infused its magic with mine when I was trying to get them off of me, right? Well Asmodeus tried to take my magic, but apparently the magic didn’t like that. According to Lucifer, it came this close to hurting or killing my father as he tried to contain it. Eventually my uncle was able to contain it via his amulet but even he couldn’t hold it for very long, as the magic wanted me – and it would go through anything and anyone to return to me.”

Catarina stood very still, taking in what Magnus was telling her.

“And the magic? It caused all of this?” she asked, pointing toward his figure from head to toe.

Magnus laughed awkwardly. “Apparently so, although I haven’t seen myself completely. I know my clothing has changed, as did my hair length. But I did not know anything about the silver stripe in my hair…Oh.” 

He stopped talking as there was suddenly a full length mirror in front of him, conjured by Catarina. 

The reflection before him – as Catarina had stated – showcased a warlock who had stepped right out of the Renaissance ages. 

His hair was long, down to his shoulders and parted to one side, with a silver stripe on the part that fell over his left eye. His outfit consisted of a dark purple ensemble, with a long, elegantly fitted dark purple blazer with multiple buttons on each side, with coattails in the back. Skinny purple pants fit perfectly into almost knee high black boots.

And what was it with this sword on his back? 

Cautiously, he drew it out. 

His eyes widened as he held it out before him. 

It resembled some type of samurai style sword, with jewels on it that glowed fiery red and purple, with a gold hilt. 

There was even some Indonesian script on it.

“_Pengorbanan__,” _he read.

At that, the sword glowed red. 

“Sacrifice,” he whispered. 

He felt really uneasy upon reading it, as a wave of premonition hit him in his gut.

Catarina raised her eyebrows. “Sacrifice. Does that mean anything to you?” she asked curiously.

“I’m not quite sure yet,” Magnus said, shaking his head. 

He grimaced. 

How could he even begin to explain an odd feeling when he didn’t quite understand it himself, or wanted to admit to it? He needed some clarity...

Catarina looked at him, still confused. 

All she could do was to shake her head, and laugh.

“Anyway, there you go,” Catarina said with a smirk, gesturing to the mirror. “Meet the new Magnus Bane. Figures you would make one of your ultra dramatic entrances...I have to say, this look takes some getting used to. But I guess you were always one to buck the trend right? Can’t have the same look year after year…”

Magnus couldn’t stop staring at himself in the mirror.

"Don't worry though, you look as gorgeous as ever," Catarina cackled, attempting to break the solemn mood in the room.

Magnus groaned.

“Lillith...when I squint at myself, I look waaaay too much like my dad here. What in Edom –”

Catarina put her hand on his shoulder. 

“Don’t talk like that, Magnus,” she admonished gently. “You are still you. You are NOT your father, by any means.”

“And now I have this…this magic. Which I don’t understand at all, and which could potentially end up doing me in. This is not how I wanted things to go, by any means,” Magnus lamented, throwing his head back with a sigh.

“You wanted your magic back though, right?” Catarina asked gently. 

“I did,” Magnus admitted. “But I want Alexander back more. A thousand times over. Having him in a coma was tearing me up inside. But seeing him now like this…” 

He looked at her pensively, his lips pressed in a firm line. 

Suddenly it came to him. What he needed to do.

_Sacrifice. As it said on the sword..._

“Catarina, I plan to do whatever it takes to bring him back,” Magnus said firmly.

“But Magnus,” she faltered. “I just scanned him, there’s no cure for this.”

“When Lucifer summoned me, and gave this this magic back to me,” Magnus said, “He told me that I’m to go where I am most needed. That he needs me. Alexander. Then after I got my magic back, a portal opened immediately, and it brought me here.”

He straightened up his shoulders.

“My magic scanned Alec just now. I had not asked it to do that – but it must have initiated it because of my anxiety. Regardless, I know what’s wrong with him, Catarina. As it is, it is already affecting his organs to some extent. You’re right, there is a high level Edomic signature on him, which means it requires a warlock of a Fallen Angel heritage to treat and even cure him. I guess that needs to be me, since there isn't exactly many that fit this bill."

He smiled, feeling wistful just then, as what fate had laid in front of him. He cleared his throat and continued.

"The cure will require some ingenuity and thinking outside of the box. My magic does give me a bit more of an edge. But even so, the spell would need to be calculated and exact. One wrong move and Alec will continue along this decline and even die.”

Magnus took a deep breath. 

“I know what I must do,” he stated, trying to sound brave. 

Inside, he actually felt terrified. 

_Sacrifice._

Like it or not, that was his fate. He would sacrifice anything – _anything_ \-- to have Alec back.

To be able to look into his large hazel eyes and to tell him he loved him, and to hear his love say it back to him. 

He would have risked anything for Alec, even without all these complications which arose with his father and this new magic.

Having this magic bound to him, though – well, now there was no way out of this. _It was just a question of when, and how things would play out for him._

“Magnus,” Catarina said, her tone serious, and her eyes pleading. “Don’t do it at the risk of your own life.”

He laughed and shook his head.

“No one can ever tell how things are going to turn out, Catarina,” he said. 

“This magic is a curse. I accidentally inflicted it upon myself, hereby claiming it, whether I wanted it or not,” he said, wincing. “It was unleashed, and it wasn’t going to rest until it was bound to me again. When I went down to Edom and faced my father, this happened, and it sealed my fate. I need to make my peace with that, no matter how much I wish it could be otherwise.” 

He stopped talking, and started pacing back and forth, deep in thought.

“_Pengorbana__n,” _he said, looking at Catarina, with a slight twist of the lips and sadness in his eyes. 

“Sacrifice. That’s the word for that in Indonesian. As soon as I read the inscription on the blade, I felt it tug at my soul. I was confused before, but now I have clarity. I now know what that means. My fate is already entwined with the magic. There is no escaping one’s fate.”

Catarina’s eyes started to water, and Magnus placed a hand on her cheek. 

“I love you, oldest friend. I need to know I can entrust everything that I am currently responsible for, to you,” he said softly.

“That also means the wellbeing of Alec’s family – Maryse, Jace, Isabelle, Max, and of course, Alexander. Please promise me this.” 

His eyes looked at her beseechingly, and for a moment his gold cat eyes were back. 

Catarina blinked back tears. 

“Of course, Magnus, I will do that for you. You know you can depend on me. I just hope it doesn’t need to end that way,” she said. 

She struggled to smile, unable to deal with the possibility of something happening to Magnus. 

"Don't feel sad for me, Catarina," Magnus said softly. "Ever since returning from the visit with my father, I've felt incomplete, volatile... And of course, discovering Alec the way he was -- it almost broke me. But I doubt he would have wanted me, this way anyway."

He frowned. "I feel my soul is not in balance right now. The good is marred with evil. Throughout my lifespan I've fought against this. I’ve tried to steer myself away from my inner nature, of which I was born into ---"

"And you have, Magnus," Catarina cut in, hugging her friend tightly, reassuring him. "You’ve gone out of your way and achieved what you set out to do for yourself. You are one of the most selfless, most giving, and vulnerable souls I have ever known. Anyone who says or thinks differently, well they have me to answer to.” 

She sighed.

“I just hate to see you end up like this, being forced to endure something that could very well end up with you ---"

Catarina choked on her words. She couldn't continue, as she started sobbing.

Magnus teared up at hearing his friend's words. But he blinked them back. He needed to be strong for the both of them.

He started talking really fast, as he laid his head on her shoulder. Her arms drew him in tightly against her, and it was a much needed source of comfort.

"I can't keep going on like this. I want my soul to be in balance again. I need to do something that can achieve that. I'm not sure if this will work, or what the outcome will be. But I need to know -- in my heart -- that I ended up doing _everything_ in my power to save the one I love."

He then laughed, a dry sardonic laugh. 

"Well, at least if I end up leaving this world, I get to go out in style. Even if it is a little outdated," he smirked. He tossed his head, making his new long hair swish and fall gently over his shoulders and face as he threw her a flirtatious wink.

That, at least, made Catarina stop crying. She ended up laughing through her tears. 

She drew him into a hug again.

"Oh, _you_," she scoffed. "You are timeless, my love. Certainly one of a kind, Magnus. I love you."

"I love you too, Catarina dear," Magnus replied, his heart feeling full. He swallowed hard as he contemplated the enormity of the task before him.

Failing was not an option.

He would save Alec.

_He was going to save Alec_, he repeated, like a mantra to himself. Even if it ended up being the last thing he ever did.

He felt his eyes glowing, as he made that promise to himself.

Sighing, he let go of Catarina, as his gaze traveled over her shoulder to nearly limp figure of Alec lying on the hospital bed, his chest rising and falling unevenly as the ventilator kept his body alive – allowing everyone to cling to that last strand of hope. The tubes attached from his body to the machines, showing his vitals, his intracranial pressure readings and respirations, the soft beeps which reassured everyone that Alec was still alive, on some level. 

He blinked, and the aura around Alec's hospital bed turned a soft purple -- and his heartbeat seemed to lower just a bit more.

"There," he said to Catarina, "Just a bit more for comfort, even as the magic keep scanning his vitals."

"H-how did you do that?" Catarina asked.

Magnus shook his head. "It's still a mystery to me," he admitted. "But it's something that needs to be done for now. Please continue to watch him. I have a few things to do right now."

Catarina nodded, her lips set in a tight line.

Magnus’s eyes lingered on the side of Alec’s mouth, where there was caked, dry blood in a staggering line trailing down the side of his cheek to his chin. The dried blood on his gown.

How much pain and suffering his love had endured thus far. 

Magnus’s eyes watered.

His resolve strengthened even further as the visual of Alec’s beautiful hazel eyes fluttered into his mind.

He would get to gaze into them again. It just had to happen.

  


  


_Pengorbanan._

  


  


  


  


  


  



	8. The Setup

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Magnus, with his newly restored yet tainted magic, and bound to the curse, returns to the loft and ponders the next step toward his plan to save Alec.
> 
> Meanwhile, Alec's family rushes to the hospital to be by Alec's bedside. Isabelle, while extremely distraught, is extremely observant and decides she needs to get to the bottom of a few things..

One moment, Magnus had been walking out of Alec’s room, and into the hallway, thinking that he needed to create a portal to go back to the loft. He had then started making his way toward the Institute doors.

Next thing, he knew, that eerie dark purple had swallowed up his feet, and then the rest of him (!)-- _right in that hallway! How was he able to do this again, since portalling was not allowed from inside the Institute?_ and a FLASH! of white light -- 

Mysteriously he found himself suddenly standing in his loft, the one he had just been _thinking_ about getting back to...

Looking around his loft, still a bit disoriented, he blinked twice.

He was shocked. By just _thinking_ about _wanting to come home_, he had ended up at _home_.

But surprisingly, he was able to shrug it off much more quickly now.

This was, after all, his new reality now.

From the medieval makeover -- with his long hair, the amulet around his neck, the sword around his waist -- and apparently the ability for his magic to spontaneously act on his thoughts – yea this had been a lot to take in.

Now he was in a somber mood, his mind trying to sort out his plan of action. The loft was the right place to be, actually.

Magnus needed to find any sort of spell that could tether himself to this world, if he was going to attempt what he was trying to attempt.

In order to cure Alec, he would need to do it from the inside out. This meant he would have to try to get inside Alec’s body and mind – to try to cure whatever was poisoning his blood, and then to revive his brain.

He had attempted this before, with Alec and Isabelle, in fact.

When they had been trying to get through to Jace during his possession by the Owl, he had determined that Jace’s soul was trapped inside a mental cage inside the deepest level of his consciousness, and that they would need to search through a mental labyrinth in order to get to him. Sending Alec and Isabelle inside had been incredibly risky, but it also could have worked. Unfortunately the Owl had been too hardy of a foe for the quest to be successful, and it had eventually kicked both of them out.

With Alec, it was a different story though since he was in the coma, and currently poisoned. He wasn’t sure what he would find once inside. Magnus prayed that Alec would be mentally intact once he was revived. 

Who knew, especially after going through cardiac arrest...

The whole situation was just so precarious, and especially since it was warlock magic that had done this to him. Specifically Edomai magic.

Catarina had been a great source of comfort to him right before they had parted.

“Come to me with anything,” she said, giving him a huge hug. “If you need me to be a tether for you while you do this, don’t hesitate to ask. I would do anything for you.”

The more Magnus thought about it, the more he had a feeling he would need to take her up on that. The good thing about this was that he wouldn’t be countering any opposing forces when attempting this. But it was still better to have someone on the outside who knew what was going on, and who would be able to help pull him back to this plane.

Well, he intended to have Alec come _back_ with him – out of the coma – by the time he was done.

He was also fully aware of the ramifications that his actions could have. The changes that he had gone through by accepting this magic was evident, like signing a contract that could not be broken. Bound to a curse – or was it a lifeline of sorts?

It allowed him the chance to save Alec.

Lucifer’s words came back at him.

_I fear that if you do use your (tainted) magic for a powerful spell, the consequences may be irreversible. _

_Pengorbanan._

Sacrifice.

He imagined Alec on the ventilator, not even breathing on his own, just connected to all those machines – how much of him was even alive right now? 

If he didn’t do this, he risked losing the love of his life. And he would forever regret that he didn’t do everything in his power to save him.

His uncle had known he was out of options. Well, without his magic, the situation would be moot. He would have most likely just watched Alec slowly die on the ventilator and machines, with no hope of recovery.

There was no guarantee with this option, either. But at least Magnus would go down trying.

The magic suddenly burst into life in both of his hands. The sword, now a bright red, started to vibrate -- the inscription glowing, surprising even him. 

Right, his magic, as volatile as it was now, still responded to his emotions and motivations.

He was on the right track.

Something vibrated in his chest pocket. Funny, he didn’t recall putting anything in there since the magic did a complete overhaul on him. 

Reaching inside, he lifted it out.

_The omamori._ It was glowing red and yellow, the gold embroidery glittering as bright as the sun. That’s right, he had it in the chest pocket of his clothing prior to the change, and it had adjusted with him. He recalled Alec first giving it to him, right after their lunch date in Tokyo.

“For love and protection,” Alec had said lovingly upon presenting it to him, his cheeks pink and his beautiful hazel eyes shy yet hopeful that Magnus would accept the gift.

The pureness of such a gesture, to gift something without expecting a gift back, had overwhelmed Magnus at that particular moment. That’s when he knew Alec was going to be someone special in his life, unlike all the others.

Magnus lifted the omamori out of his pocket and held it tenderly with both hands. It continued to glow beautifully. However, he started noticing the glow from the omamori was increasing, expanding as he cradled it in his hands. 

Suddenly he could feel and visualize everything at once inside his head – all the moments of flirtation and uncertainty, up until Alec strode down that aisle to claim Magnus for himself with that first kiss -- to their dates, their first time, and then every moment after, in which they had expressed their love to one another. 

The emotional impact of this rush hit Magnus so hard that he bent over and gasped, tears coming out of his eyes.

_Love,_ an unfamiliar voice called out. _What you two have, is a love for the ages. It is worth every effort. This represents that love. The story of the omamori is one of true love. Its ideal is to bring back together the two that are fated to be together. It seeks to protect that love, both the one who gifted it, and the one to whom it was gifted._

The answer suddenly came to Magnus, as clear as day. 

The omamori would need to be an integral part of this spell he was going to use in order to go to Alec. 

And speaking of that spell…he still needed to look through his books ---

The omamori suddenly disappeared from his hands.

_What?_ Magnus thought, astounded. 

Instinctively his hand wandered to his chest pocket – he found the omamori back in his pocket! Had he imagined this whole thing before? 

His hand started tingling, sparking purple magic around his fingertips. Suddenly he heard a _Whoosh! to the side of him._

And just like that, there was a spell book in his hands from the library. The_ exact _book that he needed. Glowing crackling purple in his hands. 

And oddly enough, it wasn’t exhausting him to expend this magic. Not at all.

Well, looked like he would be able to do this sooner than later.

Picking up his phone, he texted Catarina.

_Catarina. I found the book. Do you still have free time after tonight’s shift? I could surely use your help. It has to do with Alec. Dinner tonight to talk about it? My treat._

**********

_Infirmary, a few hours later_

Isabelle was trying her best not to scream as she stood there in the doorway, looking into Alec’s hospital room. 

At her brother hooked up to a ventilator, and even more tubes protruding from his skin, connected to machines, and now surrounded by a purple force field that didn’t even allow her to get too close to him.

For his protection, they had said. 

Catarina had said it was for the best right now, as Alec was now considered critical.

They had said it was bad, but this was beyond anything she could have ever imagined. 

Inside she was fuming beyond belief. With all the security that the Institute had, the wards that Magnus had placed all around them – certain to detect any type of magic that would be potentially malignant to them – and still her brother had been found like this, in even worse shaped than before, brain waves even worse than before, and not being able to breathe on his own.

Not to mention all the caked blood that had been reported to be found – all over his bedsheets, all over his face and eyes – something had made him vomit up blood. It had been that bad.

_Poisoning._ By an unknown source. That’s what Catarina had said, as they had stood in front of the medics from the Infirmary. _But how?_

There had also been an unreadable look in Catarina’s eyes, suggesting that she had not been telling the whole truth, at least in front of the doctors. But what was that? Isabelle intended to find out….

For the very first time since all of this began, Isabelle was afraid. Afraid that she might actually lose Alec this time.

“Oh, big brother,” she murmured through her tears. “How did this happen to you?”

"Isabelle," a weary voice called out. 

She turned at the mention of her name.

Her mother, Maryse, was suddenly in front of her. Her face was pale, with circles under her eyes as if she had not slept in days, and her hair was tied back in a severe bun, yet dressed in soft fabrics, a medium blue turtleneck dress with a simple belt. 

Isabelle blinked. She had not seen her mom's hairstyle look so severe in awhile. Since her deruning a few months ago, Maryse had gradually gotten much softer, away from the hard, soldier-like presence she had mastered in her position at Idris. 

"Mom," she gasped. "So you know about --" 

She couldn't get the rest of the sentence out. She just going herself into her mother's arms, sobbing.

"My girl," Maryse said softly, holding Isabelle in her arms, and running her back in soothing circles. "Yes, I know. They called me to the infirmary earlier this morning for questioning."

That made Isabelle lift her head to look at her mother. She stepped back a few steps. 

"Questioning?" she asked, a sick feeling starting to arise from her stomach. 

"I was called in here early this morning after the alarms had rung door to Alec’s deteriorating state. They wanted to know if Alec had any enemies who wanted him dead. Someone tampered with his IV line. That's how the poison got in.. But the cameras caught nothing, Izzy. Nothing..."

Isabelle's ears were ringing, a faint high pitched frequency already audible, blocking out the rest of the sounds around her.

_Someone wanted Alec... dead?_

She felt sick to her stomach. Dark spots started to form in front of her face, as she swallowed hard, tasting metallic on the back of her tongue...

And then suddenly she felt someone lifting the back of her head, and placing something soft underneath. She realized she was no longer standing, but lying down. On the floor. 

She swallowed thickly as her mother's anxious face loomed above her, and Jace's equally worried face just a bit behind her.

"Isabelle, Isabelle! Are you alright. Can you hear me?" Maryse’s anxious voice said. 

The voice sounded so odd, like it was coming from the end of a long tunnel. Her ears were still slightly ringing, but slowly dissipating. Isabelle tried desperately to focus.

She could see her mother's lips moving as she talked, but the voice was still a bit off.

Wanting to reassure them that she was alright, she managed to nod her head slightly, croaking out, "Alright."

She saw her mother's eyes brighten in relief, and she turned to Jace. "Get Isabelle some water, please." Jace gave Maryse a curt nod, then turned and walked out of the room.

She attempted to try to sit up, but still felt kinda shaky.

Maryse was immediately by her side. 

"No need to sit up right away if you're not up to it, just take a few deep breaths. Can you do that for me?" Maryse asked softly.

Isabelle attempted to lift her head, but only succeeded in moving her head to the side. In this position she was able to nod dumbly in Maryse's direction. It felt like her head was being weighed down by a brick. 

"Mom," she gasped almost inaudibly. Her vision was clearing though so that was a good thing.

"Sshhh," Maryse said in a calm, soothing tone. "Just try to relax, until Jace comes back with the water." Isabelle felt her mom's hand smooth down the sides of her hair, and she closed her eyes, humming at the comfort she felt from it.

"Here's the water, sorry it took me so long," Jace's gruff voice suddenly broke in. "How is she doing?"

"Isabelle, can you sit up for us? Are you able to do that?" Maryse asked. 

"I can try..."

Hands gripped both of Isabelle's upper arms, and somehow she was brought to a sitting position. "Do you feel steady, Izzy?" Jace asked gently.

"I...I think I'm a bit better," Isabelle said, still a bit disoriented. Jace held out a bottle of water out to her. She gratefully accepted it. 

"Thanks," she said, unscrewing the cap and taking a long sip.

"What happened?" she asked, once she felt well enough to speak.

"You passed out," Maryse said gently. "Luckily you fell forward and I was able to catch you."

_Alec…_

Isabelle swallowed hard, again. "It's really bad, isn't it, Mom," she said, feeling pressure building up behind her eyes.

Maryse looked at her without responding. Isabelle could already tell. Her mom’s dark eyes looked darker than usual, with a hollowness to them. The type of look one would wear when having had dealt with one too many traumatic experiences.

“They don’t think he’s going to make it, Isabelle,” Maryse quietly said. “They said it could be a matter of a week, two weeks – they just don’t know. This is something beyond them.” Her words came out all in a rush, and her whole body sagged, as if it had been too much of an effort to say them.

“NO! That’s impossible!” Jace shouted, his face full of anguish. “Alec can’t die. He just CAN’T. He has to be better than they say he is. The parabatai rune isn’t reacting.”

Maryse turned wet eyes onto Jace. “Catarina thought it best to mute it with a spell, since Alec is incapable of doing anything right now,” she said.

Jace’s eyes widened in horror, and then he sighed with resignation. His hands, limply held against his sides, clenched into fists as he gritted his teeth. “And we can’t even get close to him right now,” he said, glancing at the purple magical field that surrounded Alec’s hospital bed.

“Actually,” Maryse said, lowering her voice a little bit, “Catarina confided in me that Magnus had something to do with that. This doesn’t go any farther than this room, by the way –”

“So Magnus saw Alec already? Before we did?” Isabelle cut in. Well, it would make sense, since they were boyfriends and all, but still –

“Even before I was called in,” Maryse said quietly. “Although Catarina was very evasive when she mentioned it to me. All she said was that the alarms were ringing, she was obviously on the scene shortly after, and then somehow Magnus just showed up, came out of a portal –”

“But wait,” Isabelle countered. “I thought no one was allowed to portal into the Institute! Even Magnus had set that up himself, in accordance with the wards. Not even he had the rights to do so. That was in the original agreement with the Clave! Even in an emergency like this, that would surely have not been breached…”

Maryse nodded.

“You’re correct about that. Magnus did set it up so not even he could break that agreement with the Institute,” she whispered. “Which makes this situation even more confusing – how _he _was able to get in this way. Anyway, so Catarina confirmed that Magnus set up the barrier around Alec to constantly evaluate him, and also to keep him comfortable to an extent. But even she has no idea how much time he has left, given that his blood was poisoned. This is an extremely grave situation and we need to prepare for the worst.”

Isabelle nodded, watching Maryse envelop Jace in a tearful hug. But her mind was now racing. So Magnus held a possible key to all of this? If that was the case, why hadn’t he told her? She had thought they were close. Were they not close anymore.

She was determined to get to the bottom of all of this. _She had to hunt Magnus down_.

Out of the corner of her eye, she saw Catarina look down at her phone, typing furiously. Upon looking up, Catarina had a scared look in her eyes for an instant, before it disappeared, leaving a calm expression on her face.

What caused that look on Catarina’s face? Isabelle wondered. She never thought she would see the day that beautiful, competent Catarina would have that expression on her face. Uncertainty and fear.

Well, she was going to find out.

“I need a moment to clear my head,” she said to Maryse and Jace. “Do you mind, I’m just going to sit in the hallway and cool my heels.”

Both Maryse and Jace nodded. 

Turning away from them, she went into the hallway and collapsed onto a bench. She scribbled a fire message.

_Magnus, are you around? We need to talk._

She sent the fire message on its way. Not a minute later, it had come back, unopened, and scorched. Isabelle was so shocked upon seeing its return, unopened and unread, she had let it drop to the floor.

She now picked it up by the edge, gingerly. She inspected it carefully

The edges looked scorched, with some purple residue on its edges. Eh what was this?

Something was wrong. Why wasn’t Magnus accepting fire messages?

The situation was getting stranger and stranger by the minute.

That’s it, she had to get answers – from Catarina. 

As far as she knew, Catarina was the only person to have spoken to Magnus in the last few days. 

*******

_ 2 hours later_

Isabelle had stepped back into the room a few times since sending that fire message, quietly conferred with Maryse and Jace, who were just standing around. She had gotten them food and coffee. 

She was basically doing this to kill time. She had an eye on Catarina the entire time, while she was tending to Alec. As his nurse, she was permitted beyond the magical field. But even she noticed, Catarina was not directly touching Alec’s body either, only to check vitals and to touch his face. The rest of his body seemed to have a darker purple aura around it, crackling slightly. And whenever Catarina got a bit too close to Alec’s torso, she would flinch slightly – imperceptible to most but Isabelle was incredibly observant and could pick up on that.

So that was Magnus’s handiwork eh? Isabelle thought. Funny, she didn’t recall Magnus having purple magic at all, or anything that seemed so volatile…

Eventually Maryse and Jace had to go – Maryse to tend to her bookstore, and Jace had a mission. They both hugged Isabelle before they left, telling her they would see her back in Ops. 

They hadn’t questioned her reasons for staying behind.

However, they did know that Alec was so incredibly important to her, so staying behind hadn’t brought up any sort of suspicion.

She looked at her phone. As if on cue, Catarina was starting to wrap up. She made her way out of the magical purple field, and seemed to be giving report or saying good night to all the doctors. 

She was starting to doff her gown and gloves now.

Isabelle quietly stepped out of the room and sat down on the bench right outside, waiting.

*********

What a day this had been, Catarina thought, noting the beads of sweat on her brow. She took her hand and wiped them away. She could have used her magic to do so, but her magic was plenty depleted. She was tired, after a long day. Having to care for a dear friend in critical condition (Alec) never failed to wear her down substantially, even though she was a warlock.

Also, she had inadvertently crossed the threshold of Magnus’s magical barrier a few times and it had seemed to zap her of some of her own energy. 

She knew Magnus had not meant to cause that – it just seemed to come with whatever magic the curse had attached to him. Again she said a silent prayer for him.

The message she had received from him midday still weighed on her mind. He had wanted to meet for dinner, saying he needed her help. She knew what this was about. So he had figured out a way to do what he wanted to do? To heal Alec from the inside out?

Well, that was fast.

She really hoped he had found a way, without him having to pay the ultimate cost. But somehow she doubted that. 

Well, guess I have dinner plans tonight, she thought, recalling Magnus's text, as she walked out of the room. She took a deep breath. Magnus had figured out how to approach saving Alec. Well, as she promised, she would help out in every way she could.

Her mind raced. She would need someone to watch Madzie. Hmm, maybe Dot would be available, she thought. She took out her phone, and dialed Dot’s number. Then she pressed Send ---

An arm shot out -- _from out of nowhere!_\-- to grab her wrist firmly.

Surprised, Catarina let go off her phone and it dropped to the ground. Her eyes widened. Her magic hadn’t detected anything nefarious nearby, so she had not been on alert!

“Catarina, sorry if I surprised you. It’s me.” The familiar mellow voice of Isabelle Lightwood calmed her nerves. 

Catarina lifted her eyes to look at her. “Isabelle,” she said, her mouth dry.

Then she smiled sheepishly. “Wow, I’d have to say, good one, I have not been accosted like that in awhile.”

Isabelle smiled, grimacing slightly.

“Sorry about that,” she apologized. “But I’m desperate. I need to talk to Magnus.”

Catarina recoiled. “Uh, I don’t know if Magnus is seeing anyone right now, I think he’s kinda busy,” she began, “and—”

“Too busy to even talk to me about Alec? His boyfriend, whom he loves?” Isabelle demanded. “And why is it, that when I tried to send him a fire message, it practically bounced back to me, unread, and burnt with its edges purple?”

Her dark eyes were wild now, as she searched Catarina’s face, which seemed to be wrestling with various emotions right now.

“Please,” she pleaded. “This is Alec we are talking about. I’m going crazy right now. Give me something, anything. Please.”

Catarina looked at Isabelle, her eyes and facial expression clearly worried for Alec, as well as Magnus. She sighed. “You can’t tell anyone,” she said finally.

Isabelle nodded, her lips pressed together in a tight line.

“Magnus asked me to meet him for dinner tonight. He's got something. Come with me, if you want to learn more about this. I confess, I’m just learning things as well too,” Catarina said.

Isabelle gave her a small smile. “Thank you so much Catarina,” she said gratefully.

“We will need to walk though, I’m too tired to throw up a portal. We are meeting Magnus at his loft,” Catarina said. 

Isabelle nodded enthusiastically, and looped her arm around Catarina’s, giving her a bright smile.

“Wait, let me text Magnus, to let him know I’m on my way,” she said. Isabelle nodded, dropping her arm so Catarina could get at her phone.

Catarina messaged Magnus quickly. _I’m on my way_, she typed. _Ran into Isabelle. You know how these Shadowhunters are. I guess there’s two of us coming to dinner now. Can’t portal so see you in a bit._

Catarina looked at Isabelle. “Okay, then. I’m ready,” she said, hooking her arm around Isabelle’s again. Isabelle flashed her a grateful smile once again. They started to walk down the hallway.

Suddenly Catarina started to feel a bit funny. She turned to Isabelle, who had a strange look on her face, and was looking down. That same purple crackling magic was now circling the ground around their ankles and coming up fast.

“Uh what’s happening?!” Isabelle sputtered, holding onto Catarina’s arm much more tightly, as the magic swirled higher and higher toward their torsos.

_Magnus?!_ Catarina thought, her brain a bit late in registering this late development.

Suddenly there was a flash of blinding white light, and no one stood in the hallway where they had both formerly been walking.

*****

The smoke was still a bit thick, as a very confused female Shadowhunter and warlock in scrubs appeared to snap into existence right at their destination. Now they were standing -- befuddled -- in the middle of a very large room, but unable to see much due to the smoke.

Catarina just stood there amidst the smoke, while a frantic Isabelle started wilding away with her hands, trying to clear the smoke currently obscuring her vision.

A lithe figure with long dark hair and wearing purple outfit stood in front of them, smirking.

“Wow, I didn’t think that would work,” the guy said, grinning. “But I guess it did.”

“What in the name of the angel was _that_?” Isabelle shouted indignantly, as she continued trying to clear the smoke with her fists. “Today’s plans hadn’t included getting swallowed up by some nasty purple vortex –"

“Whoa, someone’s a bit feisty,” the guy said, his voice with a tinge of amusement.

“Feisty? I’ll show you feisty, and – wait, uh M-Magnus?” Isabelle sputtered, finally able to see who was addressing her. She hadn’t even recognized his voice because it was deeper than usual --

_But damn –_

Isabelle took in the long dark hair, with the silver stripe, falling over one of his kohl lined eyes, the slim build in the dark purple medieval long coat, slim pants and black boots, and the sword slung across his torso. Beautifully fashionable, Isabelle thought, and yet, from another point in time.

_This was beyond weird..._

Isabelle then saw the familiar smirk and the twinkling gold cat eyes -- Magnus’s signature facial expression.

Isabelle inhaled sharply. “Magnus,” she breathed.

Magnus narrowed his eyes at Isabelle playfully.

“I guess you didn’t recognize me, huh?” he asked sardonically. 

Then he laughed throatily, and Isabelle’s shoulders relaxed. “Well, that makes the two of us,” he said, his eyes crinkling. This wasn’t exactly by choice. But it’s a long story…”

"It's good to see you," Isabelle blurted out, hugging him tightly. Magnus hugged her back. 

“So, you decided to change up your look, warlock?” Isabelle joked. “What did my brother have to say about that?” 

She found herself tearing up upon mentioning her brother, but her heart also felt so full, being able to talk about him, despite him not being there with them.

Magnus’s eyes started to glisten, and his eyes filled with tears. It couldn’t be helped_._

_Alexander. _

Every time he thought of Alec, it would always happen.

But he managed to smile through his tears.

“He didn’t. See me yet, I mean,” he managed softly. Isabelle took his hand in hers and squeezed in comfort.

“But,” he added in a stronger voice, “_But I’ll give him the chance to_ \-- _when I bring him back_.”

Isabelle’s head snapped to attention, and she gasped. _Did she just hear him right??_

“You are? I mean, you will?” she asked hopefully, her dark eyes shining.

“That’s what the dinner plans were for. Magnus has a plan,” Catarina said gently, suddenly appearing by their side. 

She had been quietly observing their exchange from the side. She was glad Magnus had not minded her bringing Isabelle. In hindsight, Isabelle would have been extremely hard to shake, as this one would have never let up, if determined to get at something.

“Right,” Magnus said, nodding. “But first things first. How does food from my favorite bistro in Paris sound?”

Magnus waved his hands, and suddenly there was a table with French breads, appetizers, cheese plates, and various entrees, along with a bottle of Rose. “I thought we could share.”

A spell book and the omamori suddenly materialized in front of Isabelle and Catarina, startling them both.

“Ah right,” Magnus mused. “The main components of the spell. The magic didn’t want me to forget that. Well thank you.” He nodded seemingly at nothing in particular, and found Isabelle and Catarina peering at him strangely.

_Oh, right_. He flushed. He willed both the book and omamori to his side.

“Just forget you saw that, okay?” Magnus said, a little embarrassed. Perhaps he was a little too comfortable with his current magic at the moment. “Anyway I have a plan in mind, so let’s talk and eat,” he said. 

He snapped wine glasses half filled with Rose into all their hands. “First, a drink,” he said graciously.

Despite the graveness of the impending situation, both Catarina and Isabelle smiled. 

Yes, they could all enjoy this, if only for this moment.


	9. What One Does For Unconditional Love

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Magnus makes final preparations and safeguards, goes to see Alec one more time in the Infirmary before enacting the plan to save him -- but one surprise encounter gives him even more harrowing news...

“Magnus, you cannot do this.”

Isabelle stared at the warlock in front of her as if he had gone crazy.

They had been sitting at the table, sharing hors deouvres and toasting with glasses of Rose – and then Magnus had disclosed how he was going to save Alec –

_Except –_

Isabelle hadn’t known that Magnus’s magic was now bound to some curse, given freely by Lucifer – with the caveat that it could absolutely_ consume_ him if he ended up exerting way too much power ---

_And this plan sounded like it would do just that!_

“Aren’t you afraid of what might happen if you exert your powers too much?” Isabelle wondered aloud.

She was _thisclose _to wanting to shake some sense into Magnus. There was no proof that this would even work.

Secondly, she could end up losing both of them.

Alec was already questionable. She didn’t want to lose Magnus too!

“I…just don’t want to lose you, Magnus. There’s just been too much loss these days,” she said. 

She took Magnus’s hand from across the table, and squeezed it, holding back tears.

Suddenly, Magnus’s soft brown eyes, half hidden by the cascade of long bangs falling in his face, were gazing into hers.

“Isabelle,” Magnus said softly, “I’ve lived for centuries. And during many of those years, I was searching for meaning. Searching for a reason to live. To be worthy of something." 

"Then I met your brother. And in the months that I’ve gotten to know him – he’s changed my outlook on life, and on many other things as well." 

"Without him, I’m not sure I’d want to live,” he admitted.

“Even if it costs me dearly, just to know that I was able to bring him back – it would be worth everything,” he said softly.

"Alec needs help -- extensive help. According to the medics at the Infirmary, Alec’s condition is incurable and untreatable. Right now, they are all out of answers.""

Magnus looked at Isabelle with a serious expression on his face. "Alec is not just in a coma -- his organs will be shutting down one by one soon. I've determined that from scanning him." 

Isabelle's eyes widened. She felt a hand on her shoulder, and she turned to see Catarina looking at her empathetically.

"As Catarina reported, his blood is poisoned – by a toxin with Edomic signature. I am the only one who can even attempt this. I need to somehow get into his bloodstream and extract this poison before the situation is irreversible." 

Magnus started pacing sound back and forth.

"As is it, my magic is the only thing keeping Alec stable right now. He is poisoned but the poison hasn't made it everywhere yet – I’ve significantly slowed down the progression."

A sigh of relief could be heard from both Isabelle and Catarina. Magnus was glad he could at least provide that bit of solace.

"If I can maintain that, and expel the poison, then I can see the extent of the damage and then proceed to heal him," Magnus said. "As it is, his brain activity has severely deteriorated due to the poisoning, and I will need to improve that if he is meant to come out of this.”

He paused, as tears had come into his eyes. He made an effort to blink them back.

“And this magic, it is bound to me; at the root of it all is something called _Pengorbanan. _ Sacrifice," Magnus said ruefully. 

"My fate was sealed when this magic was bound to me inadvertently. I would eventually have succumbed to this, regardless. But I am taking control and making sure that if I am to leave this world, that I will at least be doing something meaningful." 

His voice was firm in his conviction, that he knew what must be done.

"And to me, that means bringing Alec back to our world. I mean to bring him home,” he said.

Isabelle nodded tearfully, her lips pressed in a firm line, as the words registered in her mind. 

She was trying to understand, but it was just SO much. 

_So damn much…_

“I understand,” Isabelle said finally. 

“And I could never even begin to have the means to thank you for this, or to even know how to repay you."

"But the thought of losing you, even to gain my brother back – he would just be so devastated…”

Magnus smiled sadly. “I know. Well, I will do my best to overcome this and return. If anyone can do it, I most likely could,” he said in a light voice, trying to defuse the overload of emotions.

He threw a wink at her.

Despite the raging emotions within her, Isabelle laughed. 

It was just like Magnus to try to lighten the mood and situation, even if it was potentially life threatening.

Distractedly, she put her hand in her pocket and fished out her phone.

“Oh, it’s already almost 1am. I really should be getting back, I have some projects to catch up on tomorrow…” Isabelle said, even as she somehow knew that she would not be tackling any projects at all due to the state she was in.

Sniffling, she wiped her eyes with the back of her hand. 

Too late, she realized that she had ruined her eye makeup, as she looked at the black streaks across her hand.

But somehow she couldn’t bring herself to care.

Both Catarina and Magnus looked at her. Magnus felt a pang in his heart looking at Isabelle.

Isabelle looked so lost and alone, as if she had lost her best friend.

Which wasn’t really far from the truth. 

Her brother was indefinitely near death, and Magnus himself was in a very precarious position – no matter how strong he tried to remain for Catarina and Isabelle, he himself was aware of the risks associated with what he was trying to accomplish.

Magnus waved his hand, and suddenly Isabelle’s face was free of makeup.

She looked up in surprise, as the magic would normally tingle when activated.

“Did you do something?” she asked curiously. “I felt something.”

“Oh, I helped to clear your face, since your makeup became smudged,” Magnus said.

“Oh…thanks,” Isabelle said softly, bringing her hand up to touch her face gingerly.

She managed a small smile, but her eyes continued to look haunted. 

Right now, without her makeup, she looked much younger, and Magnus felt a tug in his heart. 

Ever since meeting her, he had been in awe of this Shadowhunter’s strength, her compassion, and ability to overlook differences, even from her childhood teachings in order to maintain friendships with all species. 

He respected her immensely.

To see her this lost, it just really affected him. 

He had come to care for her deeply, as deeply as he loved Alec…

“Isabelle,” Magnus said resolutely,” You don’t look like you are in the best condition to be going home now. You are like family to me, and I’m concerned for you. Why don’t you use the spare room. I insist.”

His gaze flickered to Catarina, who gave a nod of approval.

Isabelle looked like she was about to protest, but then resignation and tiredness made her shoulders slump. 

“If it’s not too much trouble...” she said uncertainly.

She could use some rest, today had been emotionally taxing on her. “And Magnus, do you think you can give me some kind of sleep elixir? Not a strong one but I just really need to rest,” she said.

Magnus smiled. “Easy as done,” he said. “Why you go lie down, and I’ll come by soon. Just a few sprinkles and you will be at rest.”

“Thanks, Magnus,” she said, walking over to give him a big hug. 

Magnus enveloped her in his arms, relishing her closeness. 

Right now, she was the closest to Alec that he had. Then, giving Catarina a smile, she turned and walked down the hallway to the guest room.

Once Isabelle was out of earshot, Catarina approached Magnus and looked at him with a stern look in her eye.

It made Magnus feel self-conscious. He tossed his long hair so it was covering part of his face, and then turned away from her.

“Hmm, there’s so much to clean after a get together. Need to get to it,” he tut-tutted, starting to take plates from the table and heading for the kitchen.

“Stop it this instant, Magnus Bane.” Catarina’s voice stopped him in his tracks. “I know you. And what’s this about putting things away? You can totally just magick all this stuff away. There’s something you aren’t telling me. I feel it.”

Magnus sighed. 

She was right. 

He flicked his fingers, and the plate he was holding, along with the whole table with plates and uneaten portions all disappeared. 

There was no excuse. 

He was just prolonging the inevitable.

He tossed his long bangs back off his face, and turned to her, fiddling with his ear cuff.

“You’re perceptive as always, my dear Catarina,” he said, sighing. He started pacing around.

“So I was looking up how to exact this spell. I will need to place myself in stasis, while maintaining a lifeline between myself and something I can trust, so that I can find my way back. I am almost certain I can go in, get to the source of the poisoning in Alexander’s bloodstream, and then try to heal him from the inside out, while encouraging him to return to our world,” he said.

Catarina looked at him. “Magnus,” she said softly. “You don’t even need to ask. I would gladly be your tether. Now, is there something that can keep us together?”

Magnus felt so grateful, as he gazed at Catarina. 

“You are truly one of my most treasured friends, Catarina. And yes, I am going to spell the omamori, which is a symbol of my love with Alexander. I will need to keep it in my pocket while I am in statis; the magic will come over with me when I enter Alec’s mind and body. However, it will also create a link between me and you – if I am ready to come out, then you will feel something and you just need to will me back using some of your magic to pull me out.”

Magnus had said all of that rather quickly.

Catarina frowned. 

There was definitely something Magnus was not telling her.

Magnus swallowed as Catarina gave him another look.

“You’re leaving something major out. I can feel it. What is it, Magnus?” she asked, fixing a direct stare at him.

Magnus cowered under her gaze. 

He motioned toward the sofa. “Sit,” he said simply. 

She sat down, and he sat down next to her.

When they were both sitting on the sofa, he took a deep breath and turned to her. 

“This mission – there’s a high level of risk. So I calculated that there’s a high level of probability of saving Alexander. However, there is also a high level of probability that I might not survive it –”

“WHAT?” Catarina whispered, looking at Magnus in horror.

He shook his head ruefully.

“The amount of magic I would have to exert in order to enter his mind and body is already going to be extensive; that goes without saying. In making sure I cleanse the body and soul, so Alec can return in the same condition that he was before -- is going to take everything in my power to do so," Magnus said. 

"So much so, that my ability to return may be compromised. In fact, I would probably just die/be extinguished from it. And –”

“So why would you still go through it? “Catarina asked fearfully. “I initially supported this despite there being some risk, but you made it sound like there was a decent chance you could come back. But now, you are telling me that there is a great chance you might not survive this??! “

She clenched her fists in frustration.

“I’m sorry,” Magnus said apologetically. “That’s what I initially thought as well. Anyway I will do whatever it takes to overcome those odds and come back, Catarina. You know I will. But with your undying support, that will strengthen my resolve even more.”

He looked at her imploringly.

Catarina gazed at him, and then shook her head. 

“Magnus, of course I will support you. I will be your lifeline. Just please tell me what I need to do. Do I need to figure out a way to bring you into the Institute and have you lie next to Alec so that this can be done?” she asked.

Magnus smiled, confident in the fact that he had gotten Catarina’s support. 

“Actually,” he said, “that won’t even be necessary. Since I’ve surrounded him with my magic, that will allow me to establish a connection from anywhere. So I figured it would be more private and comfortable in the loft, wouldn’t you agree? I figured I could just lie my own bed, be comfortable, and ward off the loft so only you can come in and check on me,” he said simply.

Catarina had to admit that it was a solid plan.

“Or,” Magnus stated, starting to sound more excited, “You and Madzie should move in here for the next few weeks or however long it will take for me to accomplish this. You already know where everything is and you have full use of my apothecary. Actually I really really really do like this idea. Please, Catarina.” 

He turned beseeching eyes on her, with his ever-so charming impish smile.

Catarina laughed. 

“Oh I could never refuse you,” she said, sighing. 

She would always be there for him. “Okay. So when is this happening exactly?”

Magnus looked at her with a determined look on his face. 

“In 3 days,” he said. “I just want to make sure everything is set. And I want to see Alec one more time at the Infirmary before I do this.”

….

_Infirmary, evening, 2 days later_

Isabelle, Catarina, and Magnus all stood in Alec’s room, their eyes glued to Alec and the machines.

The sight of Alec, still on a ventilator, and with all wires attached to him, was still as heartwrenching as ever. He did seem to be breathing evenly, though, evidenced by the smooth rise and fall of his chest.

The purple magical field, surrounding him like a protective shield, seemed even more potent now than it had been the other day when it was cast. It had even expanded, so now it looked like he was inside some sort of glimmering purple box.

The medics had just looked at it when they walked in, turned to Catarina, exchanged some looks and words, then nodded and abruptly left.

Magnus had grinned. It appeared that care for Alec Lightwood had officially been transferred to Catarina Loss, especially since Alec’s current health deterioration had been deemed to be of a magical nature.

Catarina couldn’t help but to stare in awe at the glimmering purple box that was surrounding Alec’s bed.

She was rather impressed with how well Magnus’s magic had held up, despite him not being actively here next to Alec’s bedside.

But of course this was unprecedented and incomparable magic with an Edomic signature, so it had properties that regular warlock magic had not.

Isabelle found herself studying Magnus closely. She still wasn't used to his new look. And that magic...

It was odd to see Magnus completely surrounded by a purple aura, in his medieval/Renaissance looking clothing, the amulet at his throat, and sword on his back approaching Alec.

Isabelle wasn’t entirely sure how those things worked. 

Anyway, her thoughts were wandering. She forced her thoughts back to the present.

As Magnus stepped toward the force field, a shimmering occurred, and it seemed to open up for him. Isabelle jumped with a start. How was that even possible –

Catarina caught her eye. 

“Don’t ask,” she said, sighing. “It’s all tied in with the mysterious magic that he has… it seeps right out of his bones. 

She shuddered at the thought of alien magic surging through her own veins – the thought just left her feeling _cold_.

As Magnus completely stepped through the magical field, suddenly the field around him turned opaque, so that now neither Catarina or Isabelle could see inside.

Both looked at one another, stupefied.

_What was going on?_

Inside the magical field, Magnus was oblivious to whatever was happening outside. His attention was completely focused on Alec.

His color was slightly better than r last time he had seen him. But not by much. 

His skin was still pale and bluish. However, due to the magical field that Magnus had cast around him, the Shadowhunter was currently stable.

But barely so, as he was only hanging on because of this magic. The poison within his bloodstream was still there in his body.

And then he saw it.

The Shadowhunter's legs, below the knee, and feet, were bluish and translucent, with visibly dark blue veins throughout. 

It was clear that was where the poison had accumulated, after Magnus had cast the protective spell over Alec in order to keep the poison from flowing throughout the body.

Magnus shuddered.

He could tell how toxic the poison was, by how it affected the circulation and coloration of the lower extremities. 

And the poison had traveled quickly too once it had hit the bloodstream, the way it had caused those seizures, and turning Alec's blood thick and black in such a short time.

It had only been by fortune that Magnus was still able to push back the effects of the poison once he arrived in the room that day – he could credit this magic for that. 

However, he was unable to completely expel it since the damage had already been done…

"Don't worry, my love, I'm coming to help you soon," he whispered. 

He took one of Alec's pale hands into his own and squeezed it tenderly before bringing it to his lips for a kiss.

He tried to ignore the fact that Alec's hand felt cold -- definitely a sign that the poison was starting to make its way up the veins, despite the current magic.

For a moment, Magnus felt slight panic rise in his veins at the thought of this.

There was no time to waste -- he had to enact the spell tonight. 

But he also needed to get a good night sleep beforehand, so that he would have the magic at full strength.

God knows that hasn’t occurred ever since he discovered Alec crushed by the Owl all those nights ago since his return –

He blinked back sudden tears, once again. So many tears, he thought. 

So not fair. 

Alec did not deserve any of this, none whatsoever…

He angrily wiped away tears with the back of his hand.

He walked to the head of the bed, and peered into Alec’s face. 

He smiled slightly, recalling that first day when he was sitting by Alec’s bedside, holding his hand, and he thought he saw a flicker of an eyelash and a tear coming out from one of Alec’s eyes.

He still liked to think that Alec had been able to feel his presence there, despite being in the coma.

After all, one still had brain activity, just minimally, even when in a coma… and no one ever truly knew how aware someone was, while in such a state.

Only when patients woke up from said coma, then doctors would normally get an account of whatever the patient experienced while in statis. Otherwise, there was no way to predict this.

Many would talk about being able to ‘see’ what was going on outside but unable to react or respond due to the impairment of the central nervous system.

Others claimed that their other senses went into overdrive – hearing, touch, sixth sense even – and they could feel presence of loved ones, or even those who had less than honorable intent when they came close to the patient’s bedside.

It was all pretty amazing, and yet remained an enigma since they were all subjective, rather than scientifically proven.

Magnus was staring at Alec the whole time, as these thoughts ran through his head.

He took a deep breath, as he ran a finger down his cheek and then slowly along his jawline.

“You have to come back to me, Alexander, you hear?” he said in a resolute yet reverent tone of voice. 

“I won’t expect anything less from you. You are not done with what you need to do on this Earth, let alone the Shadow World. In all the years that I’ve lived – I have rarely come across someone who has surprised, and shaken my beliefs the way you have." 

"Despite our differences, despite our disagreements, you have made a believer out of me. I believe you can succeed with your goals to unite the Downworld and the Shadowhunters. But you need to _live_ in order to do that."

"And I pledge to you, and to the magic that currently binds me -- and which might as well eventually kill me -- that those are my utmost goals that I bestow upon me. And I accept whatever fate has in store for me, as long as I end up achieving what I need to do."

"You are worth everything to me, that I would do anything to save you, even if it is at risk to myself in order to do so."

Magnus gasped, as the weight of his declaration of love hit him full force.

He had meant every word, but now he just felt _drained_.

_Emotionally_. And now _physically_.

He really needed that restful night’s sleep to replenish himself.

Magnus wanted to kiss Alec on the lips so badly, but Alec still had the ventilator on.

Leaning in toward Alec, he pressed his lips softly on Alec’s cheek in a lingering, soft kiss – full of want, full of hopeful dreams, full of unfulfilling longings and wishing to see him again.

Alec’s cheek was warm, to his surprise.

_I miss you so much, my dear Alexander. I will see you soon, _he thought.

He looked at him for a minute longer, and then he sighed. He put his hand on Alec’s chest and further strengthened the magic around him.

Okay, _now _he felt a little weaker than before. It was time for him to go.

Cautiously, he stepped out of the magical field, where Catarina and Isabelle were waiting .

Catarina looked at him with a concerned expression on her face.

“Magnus, you don’t look so good,” she said.

He looked at her, feeling slightly dazed, and he slow blinked at her through his long bangs. He shook his head, and was suddenly a bit dizzy. “No, I don’t feel too great. Actually I’m a bit tired,” he said slowly.

The two quickly held him, one under each arm.

“Do you both mind if you help me walk outside on Institute grounds, and you can fire up a portal, Catarina? I don’t know if I have the strength to do that right now. Also some food might be good. Steak is always a great choice,” he offered weakly.

Both Catarina and Isabelle nodded fervently.

“Of course, Magnus, let’s just get you back to the loft,” Catarina said quickly. “Then I’ll run you a bath, get you some food, and have Isabelle watch you while I go to pick up Madzie from her sitter’s.”

Magnus nodded, and just let the two walk him slowly out of the room.

…..

Magnus was lying on the armchair, dressed in a silk robe, his head lolling back, relaxing as he heard the bath being filled.

Flipping his long bangs off his face, he gingerly picked up the martini glass and lifted it to his lips, sipping at it slowly.

After they had come back to the loft, both Isabelle and Catarina had led him to this chair, given him a robe to change into, and he hadn’t moved one bit since then.

Catarina had gone to this drink cart to fix him a martini, and gotten him some steaks, medium rare, the way he liked him.

Then he had heard Catarina instructed Isabelle on how to run the bath, and then she had left to go pick up Madzie from the babysitter.

Just then, Isabelle walked out of the bathroom. “Okay, we should be all ready. I put some of that sandalwood shower gel in the bath, I hope that was okay,” she said.

“Yea,” he said faintly. “I usually do that as well. Thank you so much.”

Actually, he would normally snap the bath and bubbles into place with a flick of his wrist – but right now he didn’t have the energy to do so.

It was nice to have someone who was happy to help out with this. He looked at Isabelle fondly, as she came toward him.

She knelt down next to him, and looked up at him.

“How are you feeling?” she asked softly.

“I could be better,” he admitted. “But this Martini is helping. And the bath will help as well.”

Isabelle smiled. “C’mon, let me help you into the bath," she said softly. She helped Magnus to stand up, supporting him under the arm as they walked into the bathroom.

"Can you manage from here on?" Isabelle asked worriedly. "I wouldn't want you to get dizzy and fall..."

Magnus smiled. "I think I can manage," he said. After all, it was just taking off his robe and getting into the tub. " But if you don't mind, stay with me and talk, if you'll like."

Isabelle nodded. "Sure," she said. "Did you need another martini?" I think Catarina mixed a good amount before."

"That would be lovely. Thank you Isabelle,” Magnus said, smiling. She turned and left the room. Magnus then took off his robe and stepped into the tub.

He sighed as the warm water and bubbles hit and caressed his skin. Yes this was exactly what he needed...

Isabelle came back into the bathroom, with Martini in hand. "Oh, you are just the best," Magnus said happily, accepting the drink from Isabelle. He took a long sip from the glass. Then handing the drink back to Isabelle, he slid further among the water and bubbles.

The two made small talk, and had some serious talks. The subject of Alec came up, with each of them recollecting fond memories. By the end of that, both were teary but grinning like crazy.

Magnus felt a shift in the wards just then. "Ah Catarina is back," he said.

Sure enough, a high pitched giggle suddenly came from down the hall.

It was unmistakably from Madzie, the cutest little sorceress ever. Her little footsteps were quickly approaching.

"Uncle Magnus!" the little warlock squealed, now in the doorway.

"Hey sweetpea," he said affectionately.

"Now now, Madzie. Let's not disturb Uncle Magnus during his bath, we can see him afterwards." Catarina had suddenly appeared at the door. She took Madzie by the hand, mouthing a "Sorry!" in apology as she led her away.

Both Magnus and Isabelle laughed.

…..

The steaks did wonders in replenishing Magnus’s magic. By the time he was ready to go to bed for the night, he felt recharged. 

Isabelle had to go back to the Institute since she hadn’t done so the day before, and now she was really behind on things she needed to get done. 

At the door, she had grabbed Magnus into a fierce hug, clutching him like she didn’t’ want to ever let go.

“I love you, you know that, right, Magnus?” she whispered into his ear. “You are family. You better come back safe.” She had then poked her finger in his chest – not so gently – in order to make her point.

He had smiled in return, ruffling her hair as he kissed her on the forehead. He loved Isabelle so much.

Catarina and Madzie had settled into the guest room. 

Magnus had magicked a children’s bed, completed with overhead tent, with toys, books, and a flashlight, so that Madzie could play and sleep in it. Madzie’s eyes had shone with delight upon discovering it in her room. 

For Catarina, he magicked the most comfortable duvet and goose down bedding set, with comfortable slippers and a chenille robe – all in a lovely deep rose. 

There was also a more than bountiful supply of bath and beauty products for her stay, and the refrigerator was stocked with lots of her and Madzie’s favorite goods, along with pastries and coffee for breakfast from the local farmer’s market. 

Magnus knew that Catarina tended to do many things the Mundane way, and would actually shop local markets inside of magicking things.

Magnus wholly respected Catarina’s way of doing things, but she was doing him such a favor with this whole thing, that he felt he wanted to help her in some way. 

Giving them both hugs, good night, Magnus went back into his bedroom. 

He magicked himself into purple silk pajamas, and laid down on the bed. His lids drew heavy, and as usual, his thoughts went to Alec. 

“Good night, my love,” he whispered, as he had during many a night when Alec was not in the bed next to him. 

He imagined his arms around him, as he gently drifted toward sleep. As he did so, his hand idly strayed toward the amulet on his neck, lightly brushing it with one hand.

…

_~Whoosh~_

The rushing sound of wind filled his ears, causing Magnus’s eyes to fly open.

He was lying down, with his cheek on cold, hard ground. 

_Hadn’t he just lain in his own bed at the loft minutes ago?_

Weird, he thought, blinking the sleep out of his eyes. Sighing, he picked himself up from the ground, dusting himself off.

He looked down at himself – still in his purple silk pajamas. 

And – back in this desolate grey plain once again, with nothing in the distance. 

Same as the last time. _The Otherworld._

“Magnus?”

He nearly jumped as the figure manifested right in front of him, complete with smoke and light surrounding him.

“Uncle Lucifer! You scared me!” he yelped.

“Hmm..needed a change?” Lucifer asked, with a tinge of amusement in his voice. He gestured at Magnus’s appearance with a flourish. 

Oh right, the transformation, resulting from the magic being bound to him, had occurred after Lucifer had faded out the last time.

“Oh, yea,” Magnus said, feeling self-conscious. He flipped his long dark hair out of his eyes. “Well it really wasn’t my choosing. The magic and all…”

“Ah,” Lucifer said, as if suddenly comprehending. “Although, I have to say, it’s really quite becoming. You are really looking like your f—”

“Please, don’t,” Magnus groaned, closing his eyes. “I do not need to hear that, I think it every time I look In the mirror now…”

He heard his uncle chuckle.

“You summoned me, though," Lucifer said thoughtfully.

“I…summoned you? No, I was settling down in bed for a good night’s sleep, “Magnus protested. Now he was fully awake. “It must have been by accident…”

Lucifer appeared to ponder that for a moment. 

“Hm,” he mused. “Perhaps that was the case. However, aren’t you enacting your spell over the Lightwood boy tomorrow?”

Magnus paused. “How do you know that?” he asked, surprised.

“I held that magic safe for you for quite awhile, remember?” Lucifer said. “That gave me a temporary link to your thoughts, emotions, and actions.” 

He wagged a finger at Magnus.

“That wasn’t very wise to overextend your magic with your little visit yesterday. You could barely stand after that,” he admonished.

Magnus flushed. “That was none of your business, uncle,” he said. He felt a bit annoyed, but his voice did not come out unkind.

“I’m just rather curious,” Lucifer said. He looked at Magnus contemplatively.

“Is the Lightwood boy really worth all of this? You know the possible consequences stemming from all of this, right?” he stated.

“That I might not make it out of this? Yes, I know,” Magnus stated.

Lucifer shook his head.

“No, no,” he said, “Besides that. That is actually the rare of possibilities that could happen. Especially since you are the son of a Fallen Angel, you won’t perish from this…”

“I won’t?” Magnus asked. For a moment he felt immense relief. Perhaps he would get to live out the fairytale, to be with the man of his dreams…

Then he paused. Happy endings never happened for beings like him – especially those bound to a curse.

He swallowed hard. He needed to know.

“Uncle,” he said. .”Tell me then, what are the possible consequences of this?”

“You could end up banished from this plane,” Lucifer stated. . Magnus looked at him with horror_. What –_

“But not due to any type of punishment type of thing,” Lucifer hastily added. 

“It’s related to the amount of magic you exert. It is proportional – the more magic you exert, the more unstable the magic gets in your veins." 

"It could deem you unable to thrive on Earth, lest you become so volatile that you end up destroying it. And you will know if this fate should befall you. You will feel the fire in your veins, a burning like nothing you have felt in your life…”

“Oh,” Magnus said blankly. _This was news to him_. And yet…

He felt like his hands were tied. There was no choice in the matter.

“And yet, if I do nothing, Alexander dies,” he said quietly. 

The fact hung between them, like the elephant in the room – within the unforgiving space between them.

Lucifer looked at him solemnly, then nodded. “That is inevitable,” he said.

“Well…” Lucifer hesitated for a moment. “In the event you become unstable, there is_ one_ place you could go, where you won’t combust, and where you won’t die.”

Magnus closed his eyes. He already knew what he was going to say. 

_Fuck…_

“However,” he heard Lucifer speak. “You will never be able to return once you descend, it would be a one way trip.”

_He was afraid of that…_

_…_

Magnus awoke with a start, sweat all over his brow and body. Even his sheets were slightly damp.

Was that real? What he had just dreamt/or experienced.

A heavy weight settled over his heart.

Why oh why did this need to end between a rock and a hard place?

_But of course, he had to save Alec._ He just knew what the stakes were now. And they were higher than ever.

He sighed, his heart full of pain as he imagined the heartbroken looks on Catarina, Madzie, Isabelle, and especially Alec, after the fact.

Nothing meaningful or worth it ever came easy or without pain or sacrifice…

A feeling of doom settled within his heart. And then resignation

_He still knew what he needed to do…_

Visions of scenes from the happiest moments of his life started playing in his head. 

Many scenes from the past, with past lovers, with Ragnor, with Catarina, Madzie…but also many with Alec, along with a few from Isabelle.

His lids grew heavy again, and he succumbed to a deep sleep.

…

_6am_

Magnus found himself awake, even thought he had only slept 2 hours since the interaction in the _Otherworld._

He sighed. 

It was no use to try to go back to sleep. 

Sitting up, he walked to the closet and wrapped his robe around himself. Then he walked toward the open balcony doors, and sat in the chaise next to it.

From there, he could see the gentle glow of the sun, just peaking over the horizon, and the gorgeous city skyline. The birds were just starting to chirp, singing their hello to another beautiful morning.

Magnus just stared out at the sereneness of it all, quietly reveling in its beauty. Wondering how many more would he get to experience, especially with what he was about to do in a few short hours.

Or what might become of him after the fact.

He tried to push it away from his mind, as he tried to focus on the beauty and serenity of the morning, trying to commit it to memory, absorbing the very essence of it.

To hold in his mind and heart for always.

Then he chided himself.

Why was he being so morbid? 

No one said that there was a definite outcome in all of this. Anything could still happen. 

Anything. 

After all, he was the son of Asmodeus, a Fallen Angel. His lineage was Imperial. 

Would that count for nothing? 

At least he hoped it would, in the way that it counted.

And with that, Magnus tried to take hold and grab at that slim spark of hope, with all his might.

_And wished upon it. _

…

_A few hours later_

“Okay, it’s time,” Magnus said, walking out of the bedroom after setting up. “You may come in.”

He watched Catarina and Madzie walk toward the room. 

He smiled at their approach, the sinking feeling in his gut. 

During the time he spent this morning watching the sun rise from the horizon, he had ultimately decided to not tell Catarina or Madzie about the new implications regarding his decision to save Alec. 

He knew that Catarina would try to stop him if she knew. 

This was his decision and consequences to bear, as much as it was hurting him to keep it to himself.

Catarina and Madzie walked to the room, and stood in the doorway, gazing all around. 

There were candles of varying widths and heights strewn all over the bedroom, all aglow. It gave the bedroom an eerie haunting type of vibe.

The spell book was sitting on a podium, open to the pages it needed to be.

“Wow, so pretty!” Madzie stated in her happily girlish voice, looking around. She ran to Magnus, opening her arms, expecting a hug.

Magnus grinned, flipping his long bangs back, as he swooped her up in his arms and kissed her on the top of the head. Then he set her down. Madzie dutifully stayed by Magnus’s side, holding onto his leg.

He turned to Catarina, who was still standing in the front, looking at both of them affectionately

“You only need to come once in awhile to check in on me,” he said in a serious tone. “Or if you chose not to, that’s fine as well. There is a spell I placed on the Omamori, and it will signify my viability status.”

He reached into his pocket and took out the Omamori, which was slowly glowing.

Catarina also noticed that there were red strings that appeared to be connected to the charm.

“I’ll be keeping this in my pocket of my pjs when I’m lying here, unconscious, but part of this has already been embedded into my heart and soul,” he said.

With Madzie in tow, he strode over to Catarina, and tied a red string around her index finger. “This part, I bestow to you,” he said.

Catarina blinked, staring at it. A red string – which joined her to Magnus. Suddenly it as the most precious thing she had ever held in her hands.

The red string started glowing, and then it disappeared. Catarina’s eyes widened.

Magnus smiled. “Now it is a part of you too. But when you need to invoke it, to help pull me back, it will let you know, and it will reappear once again,” he said.

Catarina suddenly felt his index finger tingling. “Ah, I feel it!” she said, laughing.

Magnus smiled. That was how he wanted to remember his friend for always. Laughing, happy with life, mother to Madzie. Full of love.

_Always…_

He turned his eyes on her, dropping his glamour.

“I can’t thank you enough for helping me out with all of this. I will never forget it,” Magnus said seriously. “Even if things don’t turn out, and –"

Catarina felt tears come to her eyes. “Magnus,” she said insistently, putting a hand on his arm, “We will both be here when you get back.”

Her look was resolute.

_You will come back to us, Magnus. Even if the probability is low, I know you will find a way…_

They both shared a warm look – ripe with unspoken words from their friendship, devotion, and loyalty which went back decades.

Magnus eventually bit his lip, and nodded curtly_. Yes, I will do my utmost best to return._

He bent down and looked Madzie in the eyes. “I’ll be back, Sweetpea,” he murmured. Madzie threw her arms around hm. He hugged her, giving her a kiss on the forehead.

“This isn’t goodbye,” Catarina said, starting to tear up.

Magnus nodded. “See you,” he said.

Catarina gave him a nod.

He then got into bed, nestled among gold silk sheets, that have always felt so heavenly against his skin. 

His thoughts went to Alec, as they always did – wishing he was there to hold him, and wanting to be held by him.

Soon, my love, he thought, as he made himself comfortable.

Magnus took a few deep breaths, feeling the magic flow within him. 

He pictured Alec’s gorgeous face, with his large hazel eyes, and the open expression he always held in his eyes for him, and only him.

Soon he felt his insides start to grow warm, then it seemed to travel throughout his veins, and out of his fingers and toes. 

He looked down at himself. 

The magic was already starting to travel over him.

Magnus muttered something under his breath – the incantation for the spell. 

He felt his glamour drop as the spell started to take effect.

He started getting sleepy.

Through hooded gold cat eyes, he took one last look at Catarina and Madzie, both gazing at him with love and affection.

He tried to send as much love in his gaze toward them.

Then his lids grew heavier and heavier – and then everything turned black.

….

From the outside of Magnus’s loft, the night was calm and dark. Suddenly bursts of bright purple light burst straight out of the window of the balcony and the bedroom.

Inside, Catarina had grabbed Madzie to her chest, shielding the young warlock’s eyes and covering her ears as she slid them both down against a corner, shutting her eyes against the purple blast.

_I sure hope you know what you are doing, Magnus,_ she thought anxiously.

….

_Infirmary, security room_

The Shadowhunter on watch was lying on his chair, snoring loudly in front of dozens of screens guarded with surveillance cameras.

On one of the screens, Alec’s bed, surrounded by the magical purple field, was constant.

The screen suddenly flickered, accompanied with a sound of static.

The guard awoke at the noise. What was that? he thought. 

He started scanning all the screens. His gaze fell upon the screen with the camera looking into Alec’s room. 

Okay, it was nothing, he thought. 

But just to be safe, he would watch the cameras a little longer, and try not to fall asleep again.

...

_Infirmary, Alec’s room_

A purple haze had surrounded the cameras focusing on Alec in bed. 

Magnus had enacted those to ensure that the video displayed on the cameras would not capture the moment the spell was enacted.

The purple magical field around Alec’s bed started to shake and shimmer, and then it suddenly burst into bright purple light. This held for a good few minutes.

When the light had dissipated, there seemed to be purple glitter swirling around Alec’s head and the length of his body.

Something was making Alec’s hair swirl about, as if there was wind in the room, but there was none.

As the glitter covered the rest of the body, the purple magical field covered the entire region once again. The aura of glitter around Alec's cheeks seemed to condense and ripple around the area. It appeared to move incredibly close to Alec's face, and it started to ripple and move in waves, almost as it it was carressing Alec's cheek..

On the machines, Alec’s heartbeat appeared to spike. But only for a second, and then all was normal again.

Now all was calm, almost as if nothing had happened.

…

_Infirmary, security room_

The guard rubbed his eyes, as he scanned the screens one more time. So, far so good, he thought. 

Nothing out of the ordinary had happened.

He could go back for another nap. Yawning, he closed his eyes, and was soon fast asleep again.


	10. Search and Recover (Rescue?)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> With the aid of powerful spells, Magnus's soul enters Alec's body and brain in a desperate attempt to cure him from the inside out. But will this prove even too much for him to handle -- and, also will it be too little too late?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It gets a bit crazy here folks. I'll probably lose some of you in terms of what happens... Just a warning. 
> 
> Magnus magicks himself/his soul into Alec's bloodstream...

_ba…bump ba…bump .ba…bump _

It was dark in here, with the eeriest silence one could ever experience. He felt _nothingness _\-- a sickening feeling, nearly devoid of life. 

_ba…bump ba…bump ... ba…bump Whooshhhh ---_

The rhythmic beat was so quiet at first, it didn’t even register in Magnus’s mind what that was. 

All he knew that it was soothing. But what was it?

It seemed to be coming from very far away. 

And then there it was, again.

_ba…bump. bba…bump ba…bump ba…bump Whooshhhh ---_

The dull, reverberating yet weak sound – somewhat akin to that of a slow drum with a hypnotic rhythm – echoed throughout the vast corridor where he was at. 

He realized that he had been listening to it for a short while now without realizing it – but even more oddly enough, it was coming from within his head and his soul –

It seemed to be taking awhile for Magnus to gather his bearings.

Slowly, ever so slowly, Magnus’s vision started to clear, as he felt more of himself materialize. 

Transitioning back to a slightly more solid from freefloating entity was always a trying process. It always managed to confuddle the senses in some way. 

But soon Magnus could feel himself in its entirety once again.

As his vision cleared some more, he looked down at himself. Not for the first time, he marveled at the power this magic held -- to be able to allow his soul not only to enter alecs body... But also to solidify somewhat so he could move around purposefully. 

This was blowing his mind...

He seemed to be floating along some sort of river or stream at medium speed. But it was still dark and he couldn’t’ see anything. The only thing he could hear was that fading beat at the end of the corridor.

_A river or stream??! Oh Lillith,_ Magnus thought apprehensively, muttering expletives. 

Magnus _hated_ water. And now it seemed like he was in the middle of it! 

He needed to know exactly what he was dealing with, now! 

Trying to remain calm, he concentrated as he brought some magic into his palms.

Once he was sufficiently energized, he flicked his wrist. 

Suddenly it was a bit brighter. He looked around.

He was floating amidst a torrent of oddly viscous fluid, with lots of red circular disc-like objects hovering and moving past him furiously. He was pummeled by a few, threatening to tear at his defenses, threatening to wash him away in the current –

Right, he was actually _inside_ Alec’s body, currently swimming in his blood vessels.

This was _SO SURREAL…_that he fit right in here. 

And were those red circular objects red blood cells? Was he this small right now - microscopic?_ Incredible..._

Through these blood vessels, he could travel from one place to another within Alec's system. 

Except right now, Magnus had absolutely NO idea where he was, with regard to Alec’s body. He was still so very disoriented from the shapeshifting…

And that dull sounding yet rhythm beat was Alec’s heart. No wonder why his mind and soul had responded to it. How many times had he laid upon that wonderful chest, listening to that heart when it had been much more stronger and robust?

This was his lover’s heart that he was hearing. _The one he couldn’t do without._

Yet, ever since the incident with the Owl, he had been bereft of hearing it. His life had never been the same after that. 

And, now that he really thought about it -- the last time he had even gotten to hear it was when they were lying in bed together, the night before he went to Edom to enlist help from his father…

He had been lying on Alec’s chest, both of them tangled in gold silk sheets on their bed, while listening to Alec’s strong heartbeat as Alec’s arms tightened around him. And he recalled he had never felt happier than he’d ever been, in all his 400 years of life…

The sudden thought of happier times – and how long it has been without having Alec by his side, to hold and to love -- threatened to bring Magnus to absolute heartache at that very moment.

Did he regret going? Knowing everything that he knew now? Ugh, he still wasn’t sure…

_He knew that such thoughts were futile – they never changed anything, just prolonged the agony…_

Magnus didn’t even know he was crying until the strands of hair in his face had become twisted and wet from his tears. 

He gasped from the sudden rush of emotions that had accosted his heart.

_Stop it_, Magnus told himself firmly, willing away the emotions. His face and hair were also suddenly impeccable once again, free of tears and wetness.

There would be time to dwell on things later. 

Right now, he needed to be clearheaded so that he would be able to carry out everything to plan.

As it was, he was still amazed that things had worked out up until now. 

The last thing he remembered was lying in his bed in the loft after bidding Catarina and Madzie farewell, and then activating the spell which transformed his essence so that it was able to travel the way that it did

He had essentially been able to will his soul out of his body, and then reformed back – more or less. And his size had also adjusted to his destination. Now he was microscopic size...

_Amazing..._

He still wasn’t sure how it worked, or how this magic enabled him to do this. 

But it did, and that’s all he cared about.

Now, where was the toxin concentrated now? He tried to remember. 

The last time he had swathed Alec’s body in a shroud of magic, he was able to half and contain the spread of the toxin to one part of Alec’s body. 

Ah right, he had contained it in his legs and feet, below the knees.

He recalled how pale and bluish it was when he had inspected it the other day. Not to mention the dark blue veins between that translucent skin, currently being poisoned by the toxin in his body. He had not wanted the toxin to creep toward the heart and the brain, where future deterioration and irrevocable damage could have resulted. 

However, due to the initial damage the toxin had created, Alec was now in a deep coma where he was unresponsive to anything and everything.

With this magic, he would be able to discover to what extent Alec was responsive inside his own head. 

He had some trepidations about this, as Alec’s condition from the outside had not looked good. Alec had spewed out black blood from his mouth, his eyes, and had gone into cardiac arrest as a result of the tampered IV, with no reaction or small movements whatsoever . That usually meant his insides were in the worst condition imaginable. 

He didn’t’ even want to think what he would find once he did reach the inside of Alec’s head/brain.

Something horrendous must have been done to Alec’s inner core to cause injury to render him having symptoms like that on the outside.

He recalled Lucifer’s warning. The more magic you exert, the more unstable the magic gets in your veins. It could deem you unable to thrive on Earth --

There was nothing he wouldn’t do to save Alec. _Nothing._

However, he would be mindful of this, and try to come back as unscathed as he possibly could…

Setting his jaw firm with resolve, he closed his eyes and concentrated. He could feel the presence of the toxin – in fact he could even_ smell_ it. It was absolutely foul.

It seemed to be downstream.

Okay then, he thought. He would need to ride the torrent. He stopped resisting the pull of his magic, which had been resisting the pull of the waves.

Suddenly he was in the thick of it, rushing furiously down the vessel– so fast he was barely aware of what was happening. All he could see was red blood cells being hurled past him – luckily he was moving so fast that they weren’t really hitting him, and somehow nothing was getting in his face or mouth –

This continued for what seemed like an eternity.

Suddenly he started slowing down, and he could see something pale (or white) in the distance with a hint of dark blue, surrounded by a purple aura. It was glowing, but almost in a sickly manner.

He had reached the area where he had contained the toxin. As he got closer, he could see the area, swollen and pulsating, as if it was ready to burst – yet held back by his magic.

Magnus could already tell this was going to be a _huge_ challenge. 

In order to try to neutralize the toxin, he would need to infuse that area with all his might – but he would also need to rip off the spell currently holding it back. This meant that the poison and the poisoned blood would rush at him at great velocity, due to being initially held back like this. 

He would need to work fast, and cast a net of magic wide enough to account for this.

_But what if it ended up being too much magic?_ his brain thought. 

He dismissed the thought immediately. 

There was no such thing. If Alec didn’t survive, then there was no point of all of this. 

Magnus slowed himself down as he arrived at his destination. The disgusting smell emanating from the toxin was threatening to overcome him. He just stared at the ugly thing in front of him, all pale and bulging, ready to burst.

He sighed. Might as well get this over with, he thought. He closed his eyes, calling upon his magic from his inner core, the very essence of him. 

Soon his entire being was pulsating and he could hear the rush of magic all around him. The sound was omnipotent – he was not able to hear anything else as his gold cat eyes focused on the area in front of him.

He felt something shift in his eyes. His eyes had become fiery red. 

_Alexander…Save Alexander,_ he thought. 

He whispered an incantation in an ancient tongue, and then he let it all _rip._

Magic – dark purple, crackling ribbons of _pure_ power -- rushed out from him, in torrents so wild that he was thrown back a foot or two.

It knocked the breath out from him, and his eyes rolled in the back of his head.

Moments later, he heard sounds from the area of containment. Like something was being torn. And then a stronger rush hit him, sending him flying out even further into the rushing, viscous fluid – a strong, burning sensation suddenly surrounding him.

He panicked as the fluid surrounded him. But only for a second. The pain from the burning sensation immediately overcame him. _This was too much ---_

His mouth opened as he screamed – screamed soundlessly. _This was bad – really bad. _

Regardless, he kept trying to alleviate the pain he felt, as he nullified the effects, concentrating his efforts. 

It was taking forever! 

Eventually it started waning. He breathed a sigh of relief.

But in doing so, he had diverted his attention from the toxin. It was now was loose from its containment! 

The dark blue toxic blood was now just pouring out – and it was rushing _fast, fast faster,_ out into Alec’s blood vessels and into the general bloodstream– the toxin racing toward Alec's vital organs and heading straight for Alec’s heart and brain!

Crap! Magnus thought faintly, as he struggled to regain control of his senses. 

He need to know where the toxin was right now, so that he could stop it!

His arms were stretched out on either side of him as the magic poured out from him in all directions, feeling around the blood vessels in Alec's system.

Magic extended out into the vessels and capillaries.

He could not afford to miss even a single capillary branch, lest the toxin had already turned a bend and was fast moving toward Alec's heart...

Magnus's vision was still blurry…but he was starting to be able to make things out.

Scanning the blood, he found... Red, red, red…blue, ah there was the poisoned blood, he had found it!!! But only generally...

Magnus tried with all his might to grasp its _exact_ location, but it was still somewhat out of reach.

_Hurry, hurry!_ He thought frantically. What if he was unable to contain this? 

_No, he would not allow himself to think that way. There was no other option but to succeed!_

Finally, he saw where the toxic blood had gone. He breathed a sigh of relief, but only for a second.

Egad, it was at least a quarter to a half mile ahead of him now – and spread in all directions!. 

_Damn that was quick!_

Magnus's magic was just barely out of reach – it was fast, but that toxin was faster. It seemed almost determined to outrace him. 

Ugh! he thought, frustrated. . Of course he hadn’t known what he was getting into – but this was ridiculous!

He concentrated even more – even as the warnings from Lucifer echoed in his head – willing more magic from his core, and sent it all out –

Managing to cast that net over the wave of toxins threatening to rush through the blood vessels toward Alexander’s vital organs. 

And Magnus pulled, and pulled and pulled at them hoping to death that his efforts would work –

That they wouldn’t be in vain. 

He could feel his magic now coursing those his veins – and it _burned_ so badly…

But still he pulled and pulled at it.

_There! _ He somehow finally was able to get hold of all of it --- no bit of it had escaped.

Magnus nearly breathed a sigh of relief.

But no, he was not done. 

Now Magnus needed to neutralize this toxic blood – before he could let this go…

Drawing from his powers, yet again – and now he felt his veins pulsating, as something clicked in his eyes -- he willed the magic to work. 

He chanted the incantation to cleanse and heal the blood. This would be powerful enough to travel through all vessels and capillaries, even to reach beyond what was necessary to ensure that none had strayed or escaped.

For the first few seconds, it didn’t’ seem like it worked. 

Magnus was this close to crying.

Then suddenly, a sharp pain flared up inside of his head, and Magnus screamed! It was too intense, it was just too much ---

His eyes rolled back as he lost control of his senses, and fainted.

Simultaneously Magnus’s body was suddenly surrounded by a bright purple aura, and then the magic shot out in all directions – following the path of the toxins in EVERY direction within the blood vessels ---- wrapping itself around the toxic fluids, some of which had gotten up into vena cava, which would have led directly to Alec’s heart! 

But managing to stop everything _DEAD COLD._

The toxic blood had stopped moving within the blood vessels, held in place by bright purple magic. 

Meanwhile, Magnus was still unconscious and unmoving.

Then, bright white light permeated the regions, throughout all the blood vessels – and it would have been blinding to Magnus himself, if he hadn’t been passed out cold.

In an instant, the dark blue toxic blood was gone. No trace of it. The blood vessels we're now just full of protein rich blood.

_ Healthy blood. _

There were no sounds except for the _WHOOSH_, and beating of Alec’s heart – weak but now no longer in any danger of being attacked by that toxin.

…..

Somewhere, downstream, Magnus was still unconscious, adrift among the viscous liquid.

*****

WHOOSH, _ba-BUMP, ba-BUMP, ba-BUMP…_

It sounded so serene, so tranquil where he was. Everything was still so incredible dark though. But…Magnus was starting to get his senses back, one by one.

The first thing he realized, with his eyes still shut, was that he was no longer floating on any type of viscous fluid. He seemed to actually be lying on – or more accurately,_ sprawled_ – on some soft, solid surface of some kind…

He could see where the veins and arteries had emptied out, that's what led him to be washed ashore, so to speak. Was he now within Alec's brain?

Judging from the gray matter surrounding him, it would appear so.

So Alec's soul, or rather projection of his soul, would either be close or within the vicinity...

His eyes suddenly honed in upon of a huge black pool of gunk in the distance. 

Along with something that seemed to be stuck in the thick of it –

It almost looked like it was in the shape of a person, but it was kinda odd, a bit transparent --

Magnus’s heart _stopped_.

_Lillith_, he thought, _Was that Alexander’s soul, personified?_ he thought incredulously. 

He never thought he would be able to see anything like it. 

So, as Alec had laid in a coma in the external world, Alec's soul and consciousness, had been _confined in_ here, with no way out. 

Trapped within his own thoughts, probably wondering why he couldn’t will his eyes open, or why he couldn’t’ move his limbs on command…

Until that IV got tampered with, and the toxin had taken his ability to even think --

Well, if that was instead Alec, he was lying face down in the black sludge -- half submerged by it, and his whole body was limp.

_“ALEXANDER!”_ Magnus attempted to yell, anguish overtaking his heart. 

He was still so tired from his previous ordeal but he couldn’t help it. 

Crackling purple flares of magic had already shot out from him, jerking him at first backwards, then propelling him at full speed toward the black sludge.

His body skidded to a half, right at the edge of it.

Now he could see the familiar build, the dark hair, the pale skin…along with the Deflect Rune on his neck.

Face down in the black sludge. 

Despite voices in his head yelling at him to not turn him over, Magnus felt compelled to do so. 

He just needed to see his Angel’s face.

Magnus was going to turn him over. He could do this without magic, as Alec wasn’t much heavier than he was. He was not going to waste magic on something that he could manage physically on his own.

He ended up being easier to flip over than he realized. After all, Alec's physical body was still in a coma in the Infirmary, while Magnus was inside the body attempting to heal Alec internally

Magnus finally managed to flip Alec over in the black pool of sludge.. He froze.

Alec’s eyes were open, blank, and devoid of their rich hazel color, now a sickly grey, and even worse his eyes were open. 

His face had a strange expression frozen on it, and his mouth was even half open, with black sludge oozing out of the side of his mouth. 

And it wouldn’t stop, his whole mouth seemed full of this stuff, and if Magnus wasn’t mistaken, it had most likely gotten into his body and overtaken his whole system.

His skin was this ashen shade of light grey – it wasn’t even his usual color. His black hair was matted and stuck to his skin.

_Alec was unmoving, and lifeless._

His heart dropped at the sight of Alec looking lifeless. It was his worst nightmare. 

He knew Alec was mortal and would die one day. This had been an issue which had bothered Alec greatly even from the very start. 

In fact, it had nearly kept Alec from pursuing the relationship in the beginning. They were both just too different, coming in from different points of their lives with their experiences – Alec, whom had none. As compared to Magnus, who had too many .

But ultimately their attraction and love for one another had become too strong to ignore. And so they had initiated a relationship despite all of that.

His hand flew to his mouth in agony to stifle the scream that had escaped his mouth at the sight of Alec before him. 

Tears immediately spilled down his face as he fell upon his knees and started sobbing uncontrollably. He fell upon Alec’s chest as he sobbed relentlessly, his arms reaching around to hold Alec. 

_All he had wanted to do – all this time – was to at least hold Alec again._

And so he did just that – his head on his chest, his arms around him, sobbing like he had never sobbed before. 

He had already known, from the very start, that Alec was going to be much different than all the other loves that he’d had in his 400 years of life. Alec was the first one to love him for him – not for his power, not for his gift and money, but for himself –

And with that, Magnus had allowed himself to fall for him, even though he knew that it would not end well. 

Alec always thought that when he did eventually pass, that Magnus could very easily just find someone else, just like he did in the past.

Well, as Magnus was pretty much faced with that stark reality right now, lying in black sludge, lying on Alec’s unmoving, lifeless body, his arms around him and crying his heart out – Magnus was keenly aware that this was way different from any love in the past.

He felt like he himself was dying – his heart broke and bled…and it crept into his soul, and it shattered thousandfold until it jagged edges took hold and threatened to pierce every part of himself raw. 

_NO!_ His core _screamed_ soundlessly - its immediate power suddenly surging through Magnus as if it had continued screaming in earnest.

Magnus’s body shuddered with such force that his eyes flew open – straight from gold to fiery red, and from his veins to his heart the magic shot straight into Alec’s chest from his body –

And it was almost too much -- Magnus could feel himself getting lightheaded as he was assaulted by the very magic within him. 

He did not want to pass out again –

And so he fought with all his might, even as the magic surged, its intensity increasing exponentially as it pulled from him into Alec’s chest. 

He could faintly make out the way the magic went into his chest and then appeared to branch out into the smaller systemic branches. 

Alec's body was now translucent, lit up by the purple magic from Magnus --- which was now coursing through Alec's body. 

Magnus was now staring at Alec incredulously, his body lit up with magic, surging with power. 

He himself could barely hold on – it was too much coming out from him! 

But just some more ---

Magnus closed his eyes, tightening his arms around Alec. He focused, sending a_ GIGANTIC _surge through ---

Suddenly he heard a weak cough. 

He wasn’t sure if he imagined it.

But then there was another. Then another. 

Then the coughing became slightly stronger, to the point where Magnus could feel it as he lay upon him.

_Alec was coughing!_

Magnus quickly moved off his chest, and willed his magic to flow through him at a lesser pace, now surrounding Alec gently. 

He wanted to allow Alec to cough up the substance effectively and yet provide comfort to him.

Alec continued to cough, and with every moment that passed, every cough was jerking his body about, since he was still so very weak. 

But he continued to cough up the black sludge, which seemed to be making it out of his body a bit easier, thanks to his magic. 

That was progress, at the very least.

Blinking back tears, Magnus just watched this all unfold. 

You did it, his brain stated, you saved him.

No, Magnus thought. Not until I hear his voice. It was all still very precarious, as Alec could choke on this while coughing and then still get in a bad way…

Suddenly Magnus grew so very sleepy, and he just could not keep his eyes open. 

Hmm , maybe a little snooze, he thought, as he laid his head down upon the spongy surface on the ground. Reaching out, he laced his fingers with Alec’s fingers as best as he could, so that he could maintain the magic flowing between himself and Alec.

As his consciousness slowly ebbed away in waves of sleep, he could have sworn that he felt a slight pressure against his fingers, as if someone was lacing his fingers between his – but he couldn’t be sure.

By that time, Magnus had already passed into a deep snooze.

………………………………

Images of grey, black, and white flashes first assaulted the inside of his brain, as well as the heart -- in waves so powerful, it made his body jerk upwards.

What the hell was that?

And secondly, what the hell was in his mouth? The consistency was thick and gooey and he suddenly realized that he _COULD BARELY BREATHE WITH THIS IN HIS MOUTH –_

This was so weird, to be cast into darkness, with these odd flashes, and to have this crap in the mouth ---

Just when he gasped, thinking he was going to suffocate from this ---

_OUT! OUT_! OUT! his body thought, as he started involuntarily coughing, the body’s natural way of expelling foreign things from the body.

The coughing increased exponentially, and his body jerked like crazy. _HOLY HELL THIS HURT LIKE CRAZY_ \-- his body was screaming internally --

But he couldn’t stop, his body just wouldn’t stop. 

Almost as if the body was screaming _JUST GET THIS SHIT OUT OF ME, NOW! _without abandon.

Relentlessly, the body forced the gunk out – as he gasped more and more – ugh this was like torture!…

This kept repeating, the expelling of the gunk, for what seemed like forever – he almost couldn’t take it. But it kept going and going….

Suddenly, his body bucked, HARD – the gunk shot out of his mouth like a cannon, with the effort so hard it hurt his chest ---

And his system gulped in its first gasp of air. The relief was palpable. His whole body sighed, as it collapsed with relief!

OMG he could finally breathe! Man that was a doozy! 

Also, slowly he realized, he was able to sense more and more around him – where before it was only his internal senses –

And then he felt it. Something wonderful, something amazing – that he had not been able to feel in weeks! 

God was he hallucinating that? Magic. And it felt so much like – _Magnus’s magic._

But that was impossible right? How would he even be able to feel that? Even from the very beginning he could barely feel it, only as a glimmer of something that felt like the sun on the outside – never as acutely as he was feeling it now…

And then suddenly his focus was just that bit more clear – and he realized, he could feel his fingers!

Fingers, which had something wrapped around them. 

He still couldn’t move his fingers too well, given that he was at a near-death state before, but he was already feeling a lot better than where he had started from..

And he still couldn’t’ see anything, his vision was dark but his sense of feeling was back! 

He couldn’t have been more glad about that. 

Focusing with everything that he had, he thought happy thoughts_ – Magnus, his wonderful gold cat eyes, and the way he would kiss him throughout the day, he so missed that – and attempted to will his hand to move. _

And it did! His fingers moved the slightest! 

In the next few moments, he could feel warmth in his veins traveling toward his fingertips…and with that, he was suddenly able to move his fingers even more than before!

And – right – his fingers were wrapped around the fingers of someone’s hand.

Eh? But this was impossible! Because he knew, his body was still comatose. He himself had not awakened. 

Hell, he didn’t’ even have all his senses back in your state, only touch. 

Cautiously he moved his fingers around, and then he felt the fingers on the other hand start to move slowly in response to his. 

Oh, he thought, concentrating again, moving his fingers. And those fingers responded in kind.

He attempted to slide his fingers up and down, to slot with the other fingers.

It wasn’t working. Ugh he wished his sight would return, it was pretty hard to just do this by touch and not being able to see what you were doing, he thought.

He would just have to keep trying…

With a renewed sense of purpose, he tried again. And after a few more tries, he felt the fingers give, meeting the fingers of the other hand. 

They came together, and a tingling feeling – so familiar that he could identify it -- surged through him. 

By the Angel, that was Magnus’s hand! 

His heart swelled. He knew it made no sense. How was this possible? He had no idea…

But that was Magnus’s hand – he was sure of it! He would know the feel and the tingling sensation anywhere! 

He took a deep breath, gratefully that at the very least he was able to feel and touch. Never mind that his vision hadn’t come back. 

He could breathe now, as long as he was holding Magnus’s hand in his. 

He could wait for the rest of to come back. 

Might as well rest, he thought. He was still feeling way too weak from the assault on his body from all the excessive coughing of all that sludge…

Yea, he thought sleepily. Maybe just a bit –

He squeezed the hand in his. 

Good night, Magnus, he thought woozily, as thought of gold cat eyes and warm embraces filled his mind…

Hopefully, if his vision happened to come back at some point, and if Magnus was still there, he would be able to open up his eyes, and see him for the first time in a very long time…

If that was indeed him that is. 

Angel he sure hoped so. 

And with that, Alec finally allowed himself to relax for the very first time since had been made aware that he was conscious, dozing off gently. 

He was spent. _Whatever left of it there was of him, anyway…_

…….

Something was holding his hand. Rather tightly in fact.

It was the first sensation he had become attuned to, as he slowly awakened. 

Funny, he had remembered attempting to hold Alec’s fingers, but they were so limp from his state, that it had been impossible. But now, he attempted to tug at them, and they were steadfast, refusing to even budge an inch.

Still half in sleep, Magnus felt his mouth curl up into a smile. That was so Alec, he thought dreamily. Even when sleeping together at the loft together, Alec would often hold his hand like that. 

And then they would wake up, still holding hands like that. It was one of Magnus’s favorite things to wake up to…

Even if this was a dream he was having, it really was the most awesome dream, Magnus decided.

He sighed just then, feeling his chest rise and fall, and then there was that extra spark of magic he pushed out as he did so, somewhat involuntarily.

There was a sudden gasp, along with a small tug at his hand. 

It took Magnus less than a minute, to realize that gasp had not come from himself. Not to mention that the tug was from fingers which were entwined firmly with his!

His eyes flew open, his heart in his throat. Wild with hope, he slowly turned his head in the direction of who he hoped had made that gasp.

Then there was the sound of someone clearing this throat. Not from himself…

His eyes met faded, tired looking pale hazel eyes. Looking like they had been beyond hell and back. ‘

But they were there. And they were open. And they were…beautiful.

_Alexander…_

And then…

“Magnus?” Eyes inquisitive, moving to his hair, looking back, even more confused. Weak, raspy. But clear.

_Oh thank god. _Magnus’s shoulders slumped. “Yes, my love,” Magnus whispered. “I’m here.”

Inquisitive eyes turned into content, happy eyes. “Magnus,” he uttered, with a bit more confidence, with a tinge of awe. "How are you here? That's impossible. I'm trapped inside my own head and body..."

Magnus smiled weakly at him. "You're not the only one who would do whatever it takes to save someone," he whispered gently. "But you are still not out of the coma. There's a long way to go."

Alec smiled sadly, "Yes, I know. I'm aware there is probably no hope for me." He sighed. "But at least you are here. Then I'm not so afraid anymore."

Alec's hand slowly moved up to touch Magnus’s long bangs, which had fallen over his cheek. His eyes full of love and longing, eveven as they still remained quesitoning. Magnus knew he was wondering about his long hair...

At least Alec's internal self was conscious again, and his soul seemed to be in good shape. Waking up from the coma was going to be a challenge...

But, Magnus thought, Even though they still had a long way to go, he was so relieved for now.

But all of a sudden, the dam burst. Magnus couldn’t stop the tears from rushing out. Now he was gasping like crazy, as tears slipped past his eyes, down his cheeks and into his mouth. Choking like crazy on them, until he was coughing on them…

He felt the fingers tightening upon his, as he felt himself being pulled closer, and then he could feel it. Alec’s body, a shadow of how it felt in the real world.

But it was there nevertheless. It filled his heart with such happiness, he almost couldn’t take it. It had been way too long…

Was that shushing he heard now? 

“Shh shh, it’s okay. I’m here,” that raspy voice continued, almost as soothing as the best healing balm, a balm upon his tortured soul…

Magnus attempted to focus, as best as he could, given the circumstance. He lifted his eyes, and met the hazel ones. 

The eyes he had wanted to see for far too long now. 

“Alexander,” he whispered brokenly.

A slight smile came upon Alec’s lips. “Missed that. So much,” the words came from those glorious lips, although thin, cracked, and pale at the moment. “Hmm. Tired though. Hmm…”

Magnus snaked his arms under Alec’s shoulders and gently hauled him close to him, as Alec didn’t have the strength to do so. He didn’t feel quite solid, as this was just the internal essence of him.

And Magnus was still spent from all the magic he had used just before, from getting in here, to stopping the toxin, and then to start the process of reviving Alecs conscious, which the toxin had almost destroyed. He didn't have any more magic to solidify him, at least now at this time.

This would do for now. 

He would figure out how to get Alec’s strength back later. And then figure out how to get his head injury and brain function to heal enough so Alec could fully awaken from his coma to rejoin the outside world. He hoped that he could have his boyfriend back in his entirety soon.

But, for now, he just wanted to savor this small victory -- of having Alec conscious again. The rest could wait for a little while longer.


	11. Souls Entwined

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Magnus and Alec's souls have found one another. So some solace can be found in that.
> 
> But Magnus has a job to do, and he starts calling upon the magic to heal Alec from the inside out...
> 
> Some strange things happen. But some good things too...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This fic continues to be weird, not the average fic. If you are still reading, I greatly appreciate it!
> 
> So the fic up to now: Magnus's soul/self has found and healed Alec's soul so it is 'conscious' again. 
> 
> Alec of course is still in a coma in the real world from his confrontation with the Owl. 
> 
> Magnus magicked himself inside Alec's body (using some questionable magic) where he was able to neutralize the toxin that Alec had received via tampered IV infusion.

“How…are you even here?” Alec breathed. 

They had both been lightly embracing one another - him and Magnus – for a good awhile after they both encountered one another, just relishing each other’s touch – just reveling in finally being able to be with one another again.

With wide eyes, and gentle hands, Alec gazed upon his lover – his lifeline – as he reached up to touch Magnus’s face.. 

Whom he thought he would never see again. 

Right now, they were both glowing – purple – thanks to Magnus having enveloped both of them with his magic.

_But – purple? Magnus’s magic was never purple_, Alec thought, puzzled. Also, it was flickering, with a snapping and popping sound, like how firecrackers might sound like. 

As his fingers approached the surface of Magnus’s cheek, his breath caught, thinking that his hands would pass through the vision in front of him. 

And that all of this would be some horrible, horrible nightmare –

The pads of his fingers made contact. It did not feel the way that it normally did. But given the conditions under how this occurred, Alec was not going to argue.

Magnus’ faint smile, an uptwist of his gorgeous lips, and his face, half covered with his long dark bangs that he had to keep flipping back over his head, sent him comfort in a way he had not felt in a long, long time…

And yes, this look, it was different, so very different than what Alec was accustomed to, with regard to Magnus. 

This made him look like he existed in another time --

And yet, it was still Magnus, regardless. No one would have the eyes that Magnus did. Or that soft look within them which never failed to take his breath away.

Alec was still trying to make sense of things. For all he knew, he was still trapped inside his own head – had been for the interim. Things were not very clear right now to him. 

Literally the last thing he remembered was looking at Jace – well, not the Jace he knew, but the Owl, which had made his smile grotesque and the expression in his face hateful –

And then he had awakened – not in any real sense, though.

A prisoner inside his body. Physiologically, he’d died – twice – but was revived. 

The first time, it was that nightmare with Asmodeus, which was followed by that strange voice in his head, which encouraged him to stop fighting to live – 

Then did something that made his soul _leave_ his body –

Only for the medics to rush to defibrillate him.

And then he was brought back again.

He shivered as he remembered that ordeal, _finally_ realizing what was going on…

The second time, it was the vision of that green being – with the name Dearborn falling off his lips – before suffocating…

And then he had woken up – with a vision of Magnus, collapsed next to him.

At first he didn’t think him real.

_But he was. _

_And he was still here, in front of him. It was too good to be true._

Magnus’s glamour was down, his gold cat eyes blazing intensely as he looked at him, with his faded but yet still beautiful hazel eyes, looking lovingly at him. Lillith, he wanted to kiss him senseless, to connect with him in all ways possible. 

But he was dangerously low on magic right now and could not strengthen both of their bodies enough to be able to accomplish that.

He needed rest. They both did…After all he had only awakened Alec very recently, and Alec was weak. 

However, Magnus was glad that he was conscious again, and his reactions seemed to be normal.

“Shh,” Magnus said, putting a finger to Alec’s lips.

“You need to get stronger, so that your outer body can heal and you can wake up. That’s been the crux of this whole thing. Your head was injured when the Owl sent you crashing into the wall a block away from your confrontation with him. If only I had been here –”

Magnus shut his eyes quickly, as tears sprung to his eyes yet again –

_If only he had come back sooner –_

_if only he had not rebounded back into Edom that first time –_

“Hey,” Alec rasped, clearing his throat. His long fingers were now lightly tracing over his jawline. “There was nothing you could do. You were down in Edom. And that was all my fault. I should have stopped you from going. _And for that -- _ _I am…so so so sorry_ –”

His voice broke, and he tasted wet saltiness dripping into and past his lips, making him gasp. Wow, he hadn’t even felt the tears slipping out of his eyes.

That choice that he couldn’t make…And Magnus ended up making it for the both of them…

He regretted it so much. _He would have done things so much differently_ \---

Magnus tightened his hold around Alec, as much as he could, given his diminished strength in his current state...

“Let’s not talk about what we can’t change,” Magnus whispered. “Okay?” 

Case in point, Magnus through wryly, thinking about the things he had to come to peace with, in order to get to this point. 

But, right, there was no sense in dwelling over what was already lost to time or circumstance.

_He had to be strong for Alec._

Alec bit his lip, and slowly nodded. 

Sighing, he dipped his head to rest in the crook of Magnus’s shoulder.

They stayed like that for a bit. It felt so good to be in each other’s arms, once again. Even if it wasn’t in any real, tangible sense…

This just confirmed what they both knew already – that their souls_ knew _one another. 

And were meant to find one another. 

There was a _belonging _that they each had not felt in a long time, ever since Magnus had left for Edom via the pentagram in his loft, Alec watching helplessly as he sunk through the flames, Magnus’s screaming still reverberating in his head – as it did from time to time still.

Alec shuddered. 

Magnus lifted his head, puzzled by that. He looked at Alec questioningly.

Alec then spoke again.

“Well,” he said, “I’m sure your father wanted to keep you down there though…”

His insides flared at the thought of Asmodeus. For someone whom he had never met, he never thought he could hate someone so much...

“See, that’s the odd thing,” Magnus mused. “Toward the end, it seemed like he was anxious for me to leave. A bit too anxious, I might add.”

He frowned. “I couldn’t put my finger on it, he made it a bit too easy for me to leave, after I threatened him. Normally, he would have just laughed. But I was so anxious about getting back topside, I didn’t even think about any of this.” 

A thought occurred to Magnus. 

_That’s right, Alec didn’t know about what happened after he got back topside…_

“Asmodeus and I actually made a deal before I returned,” Magnus stated. “See, I actually got the Owl out of Jace, sending the Owl back to Edom…”

Alec turned to look at him in wonder. 

"You know,” he said slowly. “I thought I _felt _Jace’s presence around me. Even imagined that I heard his voice. But some part of me just thought it was wishful thinking. In the state that I was in, I didn’t even wonder about how that happened…but somehow I just knew…”

Suddenly a horrible thought crossed his mind. 

“Asmodeus gave that power to you, didn’t he?” he whispered in horror. 

Magnus said nothing. 

Something twisted in Alec’s gut. “You said you made a deal,” he said. “You traded –”

“My magic,” Magnus said bluntly.

Alec gasped. Magnus’s response had been unexpected – it had knocked the wind out of him.

Magnus bit his lip. “Yup,” he said flatly. “When I first returned, I had triple the amount of magic in my blood – just enough to get the Owl out of Jace. After that, it was all gone. Nada. No more buzzing under my skin. Just straight up Mundane…”

“Angel, I’m so sorry, Magnus,” Alec said. “You shouldn’t’ have done it…”

“But I had to,” Magnus argued. “That night on the balcony, when you were so distraught that we could not reach Jace when we trapped the Owl in the Malachi configuration – I’ve never seen you that devastated. I knew that if you lost Jace, that it would just _kill _you.”

He laughed just then, an empty sounding laugh. “I just never thought that Jace – no, I meant the Owl – would manage to get you first…” 

He trailed off, turning away. 

Hot tears sprang into Magnus's eyes as the memory played in his head. 

He blinked them back.

Meanwhile, Alec was confused. And now, his brain had recalled Magnus mentioning his head injury earlier...

“Wait…how did _you_ know I was fighting the Owl?” Alec asked, puzzled. He had also heard the oddness in Magnus’s voice.

Magnus was not looking at him. 

“…Magnus. Look at me, please,” Alec pleaded.

Slowly, Magnus turned his head. His eyes were red-rimmed, and teary.

“Who do you think found you?” Magnus stated, his voice growing small.

Alec felt all the color leave his face as he stared at Magnus, currently looking lost and broken.

"I even saw the Owl blast you right into the wall at the end of the street, like nothing. And I was too late, too late...." Magnus whispered, choking on his words.

Magnus’s hand flew to his mouth, trying to stifle more sobs. But the tears had already rushed forth again, pouring down his cheeks.

By the Angel, Alec thought, his eyes widening. 

_What a way to come back, to witness the love of your life getting mortally injured..._

He immediately embraced Magnus tightly, his mouth and tongue engaging him in a deep passionate kiss. 

Well, as much as they could do, as souls could...

_I love you, I love you, I love you,_ his heart sang. And then he heard himself say them, over and over and over again, between kisses. 

Seeing Magnus cry again was about to undo him. 

Magnus had been through so much. 

Alec just wanted to kiss all the hurt and fear away...

As they kissed, Magnus's magic continued to swirl around them. It was sparking, and popping again, very volatile -- unlike the very peaceful soothing blue that Alec had gotten used to having around him...

After awhile, Magnus's sobs subsided. Alec felt him melt into his arms with a long sigh. 

He hummed as he kissed the top of his head.

Then another thought came to him, making his brows knit together.

"So.. How were you able to get your magic back, if Asmodeus took it for himself? And why is it purple? And popping all over the place?" Alec asked. 

"Well, turns out it wasn't his to take," Magnus stated. 

He launched into what had happened to him when he initially attempted to return from Edom -- already having agreed to give up his magic -- and how he had bounced back -- only to find himself subdued by Asmodeus with those magic dampening shackles after he had turned hysterical, his magic flying all over the place. 

Those horrible days in the dungeon...

And then what happened, after Asmodeus had magicked. them off -- leaving his magic _forever_ changed...

He described the odd way Asmodeus was acting when Magnus had demanded to be sent back, he had been almost too eager...

Then discovering what the compromised shackles had done to him, even having those side effects including nightmares about Edom, along with a connection to the Otherworld -- things that he as a Mundane should not have had access to.

Which is how he ran into Lucifer again.

Who he had not expected to see or meet again after he had banished him father to Edom...

Alec eyes grew wider and wider as he took in all this new information.

And Lucifer had told him about the magic -- and how the magic was fighting to get back to Magnus...

His eyes flew to Magnus's throat, with the purple amulet adorning it. 

Magnus paused. “The magic had claimed me from the very beginning," he said. "I was bound to it, for better or for worse.” His hand went to his throat, lifting the amulet. It glowed slightly under his touch. “Once the amulet was on, my whole appearance changed. And then I suddenly know what I needed to do with it. To save you. Or at least try to..."

Alec squeezed Magnus's hand warmly in encouragement.

"In hindsight, when I threatened Asmodeus down in Edom, I did feel something shift around me," he said. "I just thought that was Edom’s ever erratic atmosphere. But now I’m not so sure…”

Magnus paused. 

Again he recalled the odd look he had thought he had seen in Asmodeus’s eyes. Eyes identical to his. 

There had been…something akin to fear in his eyes. And a hint of something…unfamiliar in his voice. 

Magnus had been too distracted at point in time, too eager to leave, that he had not been able to place it at the time? 

It had been fear. 

Asmodeus had been…afraid. For some reason.

_Of…him?_

Or…

His eyes widened. 

Asmodeus had been afraid…_of this._ The origin of the purple magic. The chain reaction of magicking off the shackles had triggered this overpowering reaction, that ended up fueling Magnus and burning into his very blood. 

He could almost laugh at this – that this had ended up making his own father jealous – and even fearful -- of him! 

And that’s why he had been so eager to send him back topside – taking the magic _from_ Magnus, so that Asmodeus himself could hold all the power.

But, somehow, Lucifer had taken the power from Asmodeus, and given it back to Magnus.

Not that it brought him any solace.

He was tied to this curse as a result –

_Pengorbanan, _went the whisper, the wind whistling through his ears and reverberating through his brain.

“This enabled me to do what I did here,” he whispered. “It was able to bring me to you. So I cannot completely hate how things came to be. If it brought me to you..."

Silence followed Magnus’s statement.

Alec had heard the edge in Magnus’s voice. “There’s something you aren’t telling me, isn’t there?” he asked pointedly. 

He knew he wasn’t going to like it…

Magnus looked at Alec, for what seemed like an eternity. His shoulders slumped.

“There’s a lot of things actually,” Magnus said evasively. “It’s probably best that I don’t go into it here. Just trust that I am going to save you. Or die trying. There’s nothing for me here without you.”

Alec frowned. “Don’t say that. We know how things stand. My chances right now aren’t good, and you and I both know it. . We’ve had this discussion before.”: 

He sighed. 

“I never really gave it much thought,” he admitted. “I know that as Shadowhunters, we know our time is short since we are basically bred to be soldiers. We grow up supposedly accepting this as the way of life. And I had pretty much did. That’s why I was initially resigned to the fact that I would just marry Lydia and co-head the Institute together. We were raised to follow duty over our heart.”

Magnus knew all of this. Again, he thought it was such a horrid way to live –

“But then I met you,” Alec said, looking at Magnus. 

And now he was beaming like the sun. Even as a soul, it was as enchanting and blinding as it was in real life. 

“And you taught me that there was so much more I should want, and to expect from myself. From us,” he said quietly. Reaching out with his hand, his fingers started playing around with the strands of Magnus’s long bangs, his index finger tracing the silver stripe in the middle. 

“Hm, I guess it will take me awhile to get used to all of this,” he teased, his lips twisting into a lopsided grin. “Although this look is really reviving my love of Japanese samurai type manga and books…”

“You like those?” Magnus hadn’t even known. 

“Very much so,” Alec said. “Not to mention so many were incredibly hot. But you – you are just something else. No matter what you do, you are just so incredibly beautiful to me. You, you’re the type that someone would want to hold on to.” 

Alec’s voice had trembled toward the end. He huffed slightly. “And I do, want to. Hold on to you as long as I can,” he confessed. “I don’t think I’m getting out here, Magnus. And it’s really great what you are saying, that you came here to save me. But I seriously don’t think there’s anything that can be done”

Tears sprung into his eyes. 

“And I wanted it all,” he whispered. “There was so much I wanted to do. I wanted to change everything, the laws and customs, have the Shadowhunters work with the Downworld, create everlasting peace. The sky was the limit…as long as I had you.” 

He smiled through his tears at Magnus, who looked like he was about to cry himself.

“Don’t talk about that, please,” Magnus begged. “You’re fine right now, right here in front of me. And your vitals seem fine. So there’s always a chance. It’s your brain, and I’m working on it as we speak. I totally believe that I can do this - heal you. I know it’s going to be difficult for you to do, but put off the negative talk for a little bit?” 

He cupped Alec’s face in his hands, as his glamour dropped, revealing his gold cat eyes. 

“As long as I’m here with you – and I pretty much am, since my soul is here with you -- just believe that I have things under control, and that you will wake up from all of this. Please?” Magnus asked, trying to sound convincing.

It’s not that he had doubts that he could do it. He knew that this magic was limitless to what it could achieve. 

It was more of the price one chose to pay for all of it.

Alec’s hazel eyes never wavered from Magnus’s face. 

“Okay,” he said. “I will try.” His eyes searched Magnus’s face. “I trust you.” 

Magnus swallowed hard. The way Alec would look at him – with an open, unguarded expression -- never failed to make his heart flutter. 

_As long as he could save Alec, it didn’t matter what happened to him._

This curse – which was allowing him to use this magic, had made his time on Earth finite if he used too much magic…

That’s the part Alec_ didn’t_ know.

Magnus already knew that it was more than likely that his lifespan was going to be cut drastically as a result of this mission, or he was just not going to be able to thrive on Earth due to becoming too unstable – all depended on how much magic he would need to wield in order to save Alec –

It basically led to a choice of being Mundane again_,_ _or going to Edom as the worst case scenario_ – which he wouldn’t be able to return from, given the volatility of his current magic.. 

Magnus didn’t know which situation was worse.

But…all he knew was – he had seen Alec get thrown against the wall by the Owl, witnessed him lying in the hospital bed in a coma, and then inexplicably poisoned by a tampered IV – and somehow he had not been able to help him. 

Or to prevent any of these things from happening.

So, if there was any way he himself could affect this outcome, he was going to do whatever it took – even if it was at his own expense.

Alec still had so much to do, to get accomplished, which could have a drastic impact on equality for Downworlders. 

Meanwhile he had already lived beyond 400 years.

True, he was initially besides himself with anguish when he realized what the curse had done to him – potentially shortened his lifespan --

But if he was going to go, then he wanted to go on top, and doing something positive and _worthy_.

In his eyes, there would never be anything more worthy than healing Alec. Giving him back to his life, back to Isabelle and Jace –

There would be nothing more noble that that.

_Pengorbanan, _flashed in the back of his mind again. Then another feeling started to emerge --

_Memulihlan..._

_To restore --_

And now he felt his magic strengthening and powering up even more, tainted by the curse -- buzzing through his veins..

Just barely being held back -- by his own will. He needed to allow it release, for it to heal Alec's body...

But...he hesitated..._the slightest bit._

Somehow, he knew that by doing this, he was putting himself more at risk of becoming more unstable...

Magnus's ears started ringing.... 

"Magnus." Alec's voice sounded a bit odd, and also as if he was far away -- even though he was right in front of him, and they were in each other's arms.

For a moment, Magnus wasn't even certain if Alec had spoken -- as static and clicking noises rushed past his ears, getting louder and louder.

Then he was aware of Alec's fingers gently caressing the side of this face. "Magnus," his warm voice pleaded, "Come back to me. Please..."

_This is your fate_, the voices sang in Magnus's ears. _You're here to save him..._

And then -- Magnus felt his eyes _click. _

He felt Alec flinch in his arms.

"Magnus, your eyes... They're like..._fire_." Alec's voice held a tinge of worry.

"Yea, Alexander. They are. All of this, it's part of me -- now. _No turning back...."_

Magnus's voice didn't even sound like his own -- it sounded strangely hollow... 

The magic continued to swirl within him with more and more intensity.....

_He knew what he had to do..._

Leaning in, Magnus whispered into Alec's ear, "I'm about to infuse more magic into you..." He swallowed hard. "Can you...just hold me? It might help me to recover more quickly after the fact."

"I'm here. I'll catch you, always," Alec whispered back, tightening his arms around Magnus. 

He lowered his face to his and he kissed him so sweetly and lingeringly, it made Magnus sigh as he felt butterflies in his stomach.

He took a deep breath. And -- 

_Memulihlan --_

He let the floodgates open. His body trembled, as he felt the amulet warming up as it began glowing --

As Alec's arms tightened even more protectively around him --

His eyes rolled back as his mind blurred with the sheer amount of magic flowing out of him --

And his vision --- went _white._

_Sometime later…or maybe it was right after ---he might have heard someone start screaming his name– _

_Maybe it was Alec. _

_Or maybe not. _

_The ringing in his head and in his ears resounded, louder and louder around him…his heartbeat pounded so loudly it seemed like the trembling of his body matched it in both beat and intensity_

_Memulihlanmemulihlanmemulihlanmemulihlanmemulihlanmemulihlanmemulihlan --_

_As he felt something start dripping down his nose…and into his mouth_

_….._

_…it tasted metallic…_

_…_

_…_

By then, his consciousness was too faint for him to care.

_*********_

_Magnus was floating. _

_Floating amidst tumbling gold silk sheets, against skin the softest he has even felt, and the sweetest buzzing beneath his skin --_

_…he was in love. _

_…so clicheish to think, as he had locked his heart away for practically a century –_

_Only to fall to pieces around this Shadowhunter…with hazel eyes that could literally break him._

_Their bodies touching, he was still playing it over and over in his head, even as they lay there, tender touches mapping one another’s skin, insistent mouths claiming one another –_

_“They’re beautiful. You’re beautiful,” he had said, without any artifices or pretense.. _

_About his wretched warlock mark that marked him as being something different –_

_Instead, his eyes had dilated – along with the most soft expression he had ever seen on the Shadowhunter’s face…_

_It had taken his breath away._

_And for once, he thought, he could start to accept that part of him wholeheartedly – without the disgust that used to accompany him when immersed in these type of thoughts._

_He could be authentically –himself. _

_And that, in itself, was a revelation. _

_Oh – he could totally love this one…._

_..._

_…._

The images started then slowly started to blur –

Faintly, he felt himself _fall_ \--

_Fall, fall, falling –_

..…

....

It seemed never-ending…

….then things seemed to clear…_into yet another scene…_

…..

.....

_**Fire**. _

_Rising up from the pentagram he had just magicked up. Alec, of course was not knowledgeable about these things, and did not see his magic stutter –_

_Which betrayed how unsure, how against this idea his whole being was --…_

_DON’TDOITDON’TDOIT DON’TDOIT – his brain screamed._

_But if he didn’t…Alec was going to go kill Jace. To save his parabatai’s soul…_

_The Owl was that relentless. _

_To this day, Magnus was still kicking himself for not having recognized Lillith, even in her human form – and having given her that potion_

_The only saving grace was that while the Owl was in control of the situation, that he wouldn’t let anything happen to Jace’s physical body. _

_The ability to mingle with Shadowhunters was too great of an advantage to risk --_

_Now, his mental status was a different story altogether…Jace, being locked up in that cage for this long, and seeing all the atrocities played out – Magnus was sure that any longer, Jace would have just completely broken –_

_And whatever Jace endured, Alec would suffer, thousandfold – given Alec’s already uncertain mental state as it was –_

_And Magnus couldn’t have that. _

_And so he offered a solution. Which Alec hadn’t fought much on besides his initial ‘No’…_

_Had he wanted Alec to protest a bit more than he did?_

_He wasn’t sure. Part of him probably wanted him to have done so –_

_\-- they always choose their own -- an ugly voice reverberated in his head. ‘_

_But…Magnus loved him. And he wanted to help._

_\-- yea, hapless Magnus, always to the rescue, this time helping the one he loves, who would always be somewhat always in love with someone else, forever, as their souls were united - --_

_Seriously, Magnus, could you be any more desperate? Have you learned nothing?_

_And yet…he offered anyway._

_Ah well, time to go on with it. He took a deep breath and took a step toward that infernal heat –_

_A hand grabbing his bicep made him whirl around –_

_Looking into the desperate, conflicted eyes of his love –_

_Alexander, his heart stuttered. I know, I know –_

_…._

_“You’ll make it back,” Alec stated. _

_ Magnus could tell he was saying it -- even as he was trying to convince himself._

_Magnus didn’t know what he responded with, probably some half-hearted phrase of reassurance_

_Before their lips crashed together – all too fleeting even as it was deep and passionate…_

_And then, he stepped into the fire, heat engulfing himself almost instantly ---_

_He opened his mouth, about to scream –_

_But didn’t feel the heat_

As things started blurring once again ---

….

_…._

** _“…Uncle Magnus ---”_ **

_“I don’t like you lying in that bed. You’re shaking…and you’re glowing **purple** –"_

_…Madzie? But wait. How was she ---_

_“…Hush, Madzie, uncle Magnus needs to do this. But we are SO afraid, Magnus –”_

Images started clearing –

_Suddenly he felt a tug in his heart, as if someone had tugged on a string…_

_…that was Catarina’s hand holding the omamori! And precious little Madzie with a worried look on her face –_

_ \-- this must be back at the loft, his brain thought, almost as in an afterthought --_

_“Magnus, make sure to come back to us,** please** –”_

_Catarina’s voice was soft, and the words had come out, nearly broken and pleading…._

_Oh, boy…his entire soul felt like crying right now, they didn’t know_

_….. –_

_…..he loved them both so very much --_

….

Oh no, the scene was slowly going to white –

_\--.WAITTTTTTT –!!_

_…_ _._

_******_

“Magnus…Magnus. _Wake up –”_

_“…Please –”_

_…._

_“ MAGNUS”_

The voice sounded…quiet. Yet scared.

Slowly…he could once again feel Alec’s arms, their very presence, cradling him close…

Magnus’s eyes were so heavy, he could barely lift them. But he wanted to.

_Eyes…open_! his brain commanded.

And slowly…he did –

Alec’s large hazel eyes, with a bit more color to them, were gazing at him, with a crazed expression in them –

…_what brought that on?_ he faintly wondered.

He licked his lips. Metallic taste in his mouth. He licked his lips tentatively, and could taste some above his lips as well – and then he remembered feeling something drip out of his nostril ---

..._oh, his nose must have bled…_

And...he could see the silver strands of hair through his muddled eyes …There seemed to be a lot more than before…

Oh – so they were that visible now? A side effect of overusing the magic, perhaps –

His hand lifted to touch the strands – almost hesitantly.

An audible sigh of relief came from Alec.

“Angel, you’re okay,” he breathed. He felt the pads of Alec’s fingers, as coarse as they were gentle, probe his face. “But..._your hair…”_

“Mmm, give me a minute,” Magnus murmured. He blinked once, twice…ah, his strength was slowly returning. 

Suddenly sweet, soft lips were upon his, insistently with almost a tinge of desperation – and Magnus’s entire soul just sighed ---

Yea, that’s more like it, his brain thought. Surges of magic now flowed much more strongly through him, as Magnus fought back to consciousness.

Magnus weakly lifted his face up to return the kiss – slow-going at first, then as hungrily and desperate as Alec’s kiss was.

He reached up to envelop Alec in his arms, feeling Alec’s arms tighten around him in kind. He tasted saltiness in the kiss, and pulled away slightly.

Alec was crying, but smiling at the same time.

“How are you feeling?” Magnus asked.

Alec gave him a look of incredulity, and snorted.

“Uh, I’m the one that should be asking you that question," Alec stated, "Your nose started bleeding, you fainted dead away in my arms, and then your aura started crackling deep purple and sparking up – not to mention there was this white flash, and then 1/3 of your hair turned silver –”

Magnus squinted at him. “How does it look?” he asked hesitantly.

Alec shook his head, smiling. “Still beautiful. Of all the questions to be asking right now. Really, Magnus?” he stated, giving him a look of affection “With us _still_ in this precarious situation…”

Suddenly they both stilled, as an unfamiliar faint sound – or was it a voice? – echoed weakly through the space. It sounded like a quiet…_”Hey!”_

….

_“…HEY!”_

There it was again. The faintest sound…

_Wait, that was coming from the outside, wasn’t it -!?_

_“BY THE ANGEL, THIS IS A MIRACLE! Alec’s vitals are normal again! He hasn’t woken up from his coma, yet…but STILL ! Get the medic!” _

The voice was much more distinctive now…

_Wait. _…was that…Isabelle???! Alec thought, his eyes widening. He could hear her, again? 

And…he could also sense her presence -- it was a mix of relief and warmth and she smelled like roses --

Magnus’s eyes widened. 

_It worked! _

He turned to Alec, who looked flabbergasted. “You’re healing! You can hear them again!” he said, relief washing over him 

Alec's eyes seemed to brighten. But then they dimmed once more. 

“…But I’m still _not_ awake. I’m still in a coma My outer body doesn’t respond to me. I can’t open my eyes, or move, or…anything…” Alec stated plaintively.

Against his will, a tear slipped out of his eye, as he struggled with the contradictory feelings passing through him right now.

Still, though, he was glad he could hear and sense outside of his own body again –

“You’re not out of the woods, yet, my love. Your head injury….” Magnus said. “I’m _trying_ though…”

Alec looked up at Magnus, his eyes slightly wet.

“I know you are. If you hadn’t been able to do this –” Alec faltered, trailing off. He couldn’t go on. “But I just miss everything and everyone. _My life…_”

He looked forlornly at Magnus. 

“At least you are here,” he whispered. “But I know we are just barely figments of ourselves in this state – as souls we barely hold any substance. What I wouldn’t do to hold you for real…But alas, if I never get better, then it is just a wistful dream that will ultimately never be fulfilled…”

Magnus inhaled sharply, feeling his own heart bleed at hearing Alec’s words. He sounded so lost…so resigned at that moment…

_Lillith,_ he thought, anger at their situations starting to bubble up within him. How he wished that too, to actually hold Alec and feel his wonderful body and weight against him.... 

That kiss they had shared prior to him stepping into that fiery Pentagram had been the last real touch they shared with one another. 

Magnus suddenly noticed that Alec had gone quiet. He quickly glanced at Alec, whose face had turned away from him.

“Alexander?” he asked quietly. “Are you okay?”

He reached out and touched his chin and urged him to turn his face toward him.

Alec’s large hazel eyes were glistening, with tears having already spilled over down his cheeks.

“I’m…sorry,” he gasped, sniffling as he wiped away the tears. “It just all seems so hopeless. I mean, it’s true I’m better now, but I’m just back to square one. And I don’t’ think my head is going to heal from this.”

Magnus didn’t know what to say. HIs heart clenched.

Alec leaned in and gave Magnus a reassuring kiss on the lips. 

“Anyway, don’t mind me,” Alec whispered. 

He attempted to smile, even as the tears were still falling. 

“I was already used to being like this ages ago, when I first realized what happened. And I got used to the lonely, desolateness in here. You being here is beyond my wildest dreams – but it’s also reminding me of what I am missing out on, outside. But don’t worry, I just need time…”

Alec looked up at Magnus, his gaze open and pleadingly. 

“Do you think you can just…hold me?” he asked in a small voice.

“Always,” Magnus stated without hesitation. 

Coming over, he put both arms around Alec, hugging him tightly. 

“Aku Cinta Kamu,” he whispered into Alec’s ear.

Alec turned to him, his eyes glistening and bright

“I never thought I’d even get to hear that again, “he breathed. “Aku Cinta Kamu, my love. My life." He embracing Magnus tightly. 

And they just sat there together, in each other’s arms, just trying to revel in each other’s presence, and trying not to think about anything else at the moment.

But of course Magnus’s mind was racing, as it always did. There was a few more things he could try, but it would require even more magic. 

The problem was that, he didn’t know at which point would be considered overreaching. Even this medium surge had affected him in some way – making his hair more silver, along with a nosebleed.

What would greater amounts of power amount to?

He just sat there, holding Alec, as he planned out what would happen in the next few hours – or even days, if need be.

However long it took to revive Alec, he would do it. 

The question was how much more Magnus himself could withstand extending this magic toward healing Alec before Magnus just completely _succumbed _ \--

_He just prayed he would enough strength and stamina in order to accomplish that._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> CH 12 to come


	12. Takdir (Destiny): The Breaking Point

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alec's senses toward the outside world start improving as well, as he suddenly is able to feel Jace through the parabatai rune.
> 
> With that, come a whole slew of emotions.
> 
> But as it hits a low point, Alec feels like giving up. Which triggers something within Magnus -- his magic causing what ends up being a chain reaction of inevitable events...
> 
> RATINGS CHANGE FOR CHAPTER - EXPLICIT

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There are several phrases in Indonesian, I apologize in advance if this is incorrect. I used Google translate to get the definitions.

_Sandalwood –_

The smell hit his nostrils almost immediately as he felt himself start to awaken…

This glorious, amazing smell – that was always a part of Magnus for as long as he’s known him. 

Magnus, still asleep, was lightly snoring -- his arms warm as he cradled him. As if Alec was something all too precious. Even in his soul form, he and Magnus just fit so well – _so right, together._

_He had missed this – desperately._

_Again, his mind raced through everything that had occurred ever since Magnus had unexpectedly arrived._

Magnus – in a word, _WOW._

Those changes to him, and _within_ him…he couldn’t believe how he had been able to wield his magic –

But it concerned him as well. It was definitely doing something to him – even his regular magic had never had an effect on him physically the way this had. 

It had turned his hair – _silver. And made him pass out. _But – Magnus had_ saved_ him – madehim _healthier…_

And then – to hear Isabelle’s voice, and to _feel _her essence –

That had been more than anything he could have even asked for, especially after he was poisoned. 

And for that, he was doubly glad that Magnus was here with him now. 

But, as the same time, to know no one was sure, if he would ever wake up –

He could very well be in this state indefinitely, or he could…die.

_And he didn’t want to die –_

One time –_that time!_ \-- was one too many.

Surely, even Magnus had his limits of what he could do. And of course he couldn’t fault that. What his boyfriend had done for him…it was already more than he had imagined.

But…they couldn’t stay here forever – and that was the absolute reality of things. And if his outer body should die, then his essence would die as well

_In here, they were living on borrowed time --_

Leaning in he placed a small kiss in Magnus’s hair, right on top of the silver portion on his long bangs. Humming, Magnus stirred in his arms but did not wake up.

Who knows where he would even be – if Magnus hadn’t come? 

He hadn’t even known how long he was unconscious, after the warlock had started those chain of events. He would have been doomed to oblivion…_spiralling _toward a slow, unfeeling death – as he was sure the toxin would have surely spread to organs, not to mention his heart and brain, effectively ceasing all function.

Actually, how was it, that the toxin hadn’t already done its damage, even before Magnus had come? 

That seemed a bit too much luck to be _coincidence_…

But he wasn’t going to dwell upon it. Especially if he had been this close to not even surviving this, after being suffocated with whatever that black stuff was…

Just thinking about how it had invaded his body made him shudder. He stuck out his tongue, wrinkling his nose. He could still remember how it tasted --- like a whole bunch of tar and gooey grossness, which immediately solidified, cutting off his air circulation –

He shuddered again

He had to stop thinking about it, lest it start giving him nightmares.

So far in Magnus’s arms, there had been none, not one since he’s awakened. . 

_Thankfully._

***********

Suddenly a too familiar essence hit him – _full force._ With such strength it made him gasp. By his right hip –

_Where his parabatai rune was…_

_His mind was all over the place….Angel…Was he supposed to feel that??_

He couldn’t recall feeling that, for the longest, ever since he had been incapitated, and trapped within his own body with only his mind active…

And – suddenly a burst of warmth started flooding within his soul – he could even..._feel_ \-- Jace?

Wow this was almost too much for his brain to even register….

_JACE WAS IN THE ROOM! HE COULD FEEL HIM!!!_

And then, he heard him speak --

“My brother,” Jace was saying, sounding broken. But tinged with an air of relief. “I heard from Izzy. You’re back…”

_Angel,_ Alec thought, closing his eyes. His heart ached…

“Well, not completely back, of course,” Jace was saying. “But…this will do for now. I-I’m not even sure if you recall that I had come to visit before –”

“I did,” Alec whispered, even though he knew that Jace couldn’t hear him. “I knew each and every time…”

His heart was on the precipice, about to break, upon hearing Jace’s voice, soft. With a sense of urgency and desperation…

“I want you to know, that I haven’t given up hope.” Jace’s voice was resolute and firm. “Not even after – _that_.” “ And then his voice broke slightly upon that word –

Alec inhaled sharply, as he shuddered. _ Jace…_

His eyes filled with tears.

“Anyway,” Jace continued, his voice now teary. “I never gave up. No one here has. So, don’t you give up either…We are all rooting for you….”

Jace fell silent. For what seemed for a long time. Yet Alec still sensed his presence in the room.

Then he heard his parabatai start recite the oath, mumbling it softly.

His eyes widened.

Suddenly Alec jumped, feeling a burst of energy – through the rune?! _WAS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE???_

_IT WAS SO MUCH – TOO MUCH ACTUALLY –_

_HE FELT LIKE HE WAS ON FIRE…AND YET…HE WASN”T –_

_THE EMOTIONS – GAAAAAADDDDDD ---_

Faintly, he thought he heard Jace gasp. 

“Alec?!!” Jace was whispered. “By the Angel…what is this?? Do I…_feel _you?” he was asking, his voice filled with wonder. “_Do I?_ Is this too much to hope for?”

Suddenly he heard muffled sobs, and the surge of Jace’s feelings further slammed into him so hard, he flinched again, gasping for breath. 

HIs heart broke. And then tears broke through…

_Oh Jace –_

_He shut his eyes, as the tears rolled down his face – shuddering with every breath…_

“…Alexander?”

Magnus had awakened, having been inadvertently jostled by Alec’s movements before. One eye cracked open.

“I felt that,” Magnus said, astounded. “Well, at least the echoing of it. Wow, that was really something… Was that…from your parabatai rune?” 

Alec’s head was bent, his dark hair over his eyes so he couldn’t immediately see the expression on Alec’s face. But he felt Alec’s slow nod in affirmation.

Magnus felt a sense of relief wash over him_. His magic had been more potent than he had realized._

And again, he felt…validated. For his actions up to now…

_It was worth it. No matter what the outcome. –_

_Suddenly he felt Alec shudder again. “Oh, he’s calmed down,” he murmured. “And…he left the room.”_

Slowly Alec lifted his head, revealing his face. Magnus peered at Alec more closely. And saw the tear tracks down his face.

“Alexander?” he asked, a bit more hesitantly. 

He reached over with his hand to thumb away a tear that had slipped out past the corners of one of Alec’s eyes. Then continued to brush his fingers against Alec’s cheeks, wiping away more of his tears.

“It’s nothing,” Alec murmured, nuzzling him against his cheek. “Jace was just in the room, visiting. I didn’t realize I could feel him now. I couldn’t feel him before…It was quite the shock. Not in a bad way of course. I was just…overwhelmed.”

Magnus was silent, as he digested this.

“So…what are your thoughts on that?” he asked slowly, looking at Alec to gauge his reaction. 

Alec looked at him intently. He lifted his hand to cup Magnus’s chin, his hazel eyes glistening. “You did that for me,” he said reverently. “You gave this back to me.”

He then took a deep breath, exhaling shakily. 

“You just keep doing that. Giving me things,” he whispered. “And you _keep_ paying the price for it. I don’t deserve you –”

“Shh. Don’t say that, ever,” Magnus said hastily, leaning forward so their foreheads touched. “You are worth everything, Alexander. You are the reason I live. Prior to this, I never had a reason before. But you, you are the future for so many wonderful things. The catalyst for change ---”

“Yea, well,” Alec muttered, “I’m sure far from being on people’s favored list. Dearborn tried to kill me –”

Magnus gasped, as his eyes widened. “What do you mean?” he asked.

Alec looked at Magnus intently. “Right before I suffocated on that black substance, and lost consciousness, there was a green apparition that appeared – think it was a warlock? Anyway he was green – and he said that someone wanted me dead. And that he was merely following orders from Dearborn.” A look of horror passed over Magnus’s face. “Well,” Alec huffed with a laugh, “I guess he didn’t’ think I would survive to tell the tale…” 

He trailed off, as he suddenly realized Magnus was staring at him –.

“What did this warlock…look like?” Magnus asked slowly.

Alec knitted his eyebrow together in concentration. “Hmm, tall, gangly being, with long white hair? And a high nasal tone of voice?” He paused. “And light violet eyes, which intensified as he spoke…”

“_DESCHAMEL?!!”_ Magnus roared. 

Alec flinched involuntarily, having been rendered speechless.

Magnus shut his eyes, gritting his teeth. “Oh, he’s so_ fucking_ dead…” he swore.

Magnus clenched his fists, his mind racing a mile a minute_. He was furious_. 

He knew Deschamel. They had come across one another at the Spiral Labyrinth from time to time, even during annual meeting. He had seemed a bit hard to get to know, always fronting – but Magnus had just shrugged it off, as personalities varied from one to the other.

Never did he think, that Deschamel would stoop _this_ low…to help out Dearborn, who was a known supporter of those within the Clave _opposed_ to Alec’s directives as the Head of the Institute toward a smooth relationship between Nephilim and Downworlders. Deschamel was, in fact, working against his own kind…

Probably for money, Magnus thought ruefully, feeling his eyes blaze up. 

He could feel his blood swirling madly within him…the call of Edom rising within him, as the noise overtook his ears and senses…

Every cell in his body was screaming to tear Deschamel limb from limb…

HIs hand started shaking, emitting purple and red sparks that started snapping like firecrackers…

_If they got out of this…._

No, WHEN they got out of this…Deschamel was going to fucking lead him to Dearborn – unprotected and away from Alicante…

_You’re mine, Dearborn,_ Magnus raged bitterly, as his eyes blazed even more fiercely.

A sudden, gentle touch on his forearm snapped him out of his trance. He blinked, looking up, into Alec’s anxious looking face.

The sparks disappeared instantaneously from his fingers.

“I didn’t mean to rile you, up, Magnus,” Alec said, swallowing hard. 

“How can you be so calm about this?!” Magnus insisted hotly. He could feel tears from behind his eyes. _“HE ALMOST KILLED YOU!”_

“Yea,” Alec said slowly. “He could have. And I would have had no control over it. _But you came._ And I didn’t think I did…but now that you're here...I really _need_ you Magnus... To be present…_here_ \-- more than ever.” 

He paused. 

“And yes, he deserves to be punished. They both do,” he added, his voice tight. “But right now, I need _you_ here, emotionally. You are the only thing grounding me…”

Magnus blinked. Alec was always able to do this, to bring him _back_ from his roving thoughts. HIs presence was calming, _soothing…_

Alec was right. He would deal with this later. Mentally filed this information in his head, to be reviewed later.

He huffed a laugh. “Uh, aren’t you the one who’s between life and death right now?” he asked incredulously. “And here you are, trying to assuage me –”

Magnus’s eyes were normal again, not blazing. With crinkles along the edges – looking like his Magnus again... 

Alec let out a sigh of relief.

“Yea, well, there’s nothing I can do about it, right?” Alec said diffidently. “My fate is literally – now in your hands. Along with a lot of luck…” 

He leaned in toward Magnus and touched his lips to his. He sighed inwardly, as Magnus’s lips caught his bottom lip, tugging playfully. It sent shivers down his spine. Being in the state that they were both in, the sensations were incredibly muted, but still there. 

It gave him such comfort. Such a shame that they couldn’t feel the sensations to their fullest extent, in their current state –

_But he would take whatever he could get…_

Magnus’s tongue was now licking into his mouth, slowly caressing against his, as his hands gently held his forearms, urging him in closer…Alec’s eyes fell closed as he reveled in those sensations, returning the kiss, and moving closer to Magnus – until they were within each other’s embrace.

And – ahh he couldn’t feel this in its entirely, as it was just a shadow of how reality was – but the mere suggestion of it still moved him – moved his soul to react. 

Solid or not, the embers of desire quickened within him - a fire between them, that transcended realms and planes…

“I love you,” Alec said softly, reverently, in between kisses, as he lifted his hand to caress Magnus’s face. Magnus’s eyes blazed fiercely gold as he looked back at him, looking incredibly vulnerable. 

“And I am so glad that I get to be with you, now,” Alec continued. “I just wish –

Suddenly Alec stilled. HIs hand flew to his hip. Magnus felt it.

“What’s wrong?” Magnus asked worriedly. Alec’s hazel eyes darted back and forth, looking incredibly anxious.

“Jace,” he whispered. “He’s…_scared_. He’s thinking about Izzy. She’s hurt. The mission they were just on ---”

He gasped again, as Jace’s emotions sliced right through them.

“It must be bad,” he continued, in that quiet, urgent whisper. “His heart’s beating _so_ incredibly fast –”

And by this point, he already figured out the entire story already...they were both on a mission, fighting, then _running_, judging from how scared Jace was emoting right now, his heart pounding in his chest, and his inner so self _screaming_ for Izzy –

Alec shut his eyes tightly, as the emotions overcame him. _This didn’t need to happen!_ He should be out there with them!!!

“I am so useless, here! They need me. Angel,” Alec groaned, putting his head in his hands, shaking his head from side to side. He started trembling.

“Alexander,” Magnus murmured, drawing him close again, feeling his heart drop as he felt Alec slowly unravel.

Alec was buried in his shoulder, mumbling incoherently. Magnus hugged him tightly for a few moments. Then when the trembling started to wane, then did Magnus slowly release him. Alec took a deep breath, wiping at his eyes.

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry,” Alec kept repeating. “Jace feels more calm now. So I’m hoping it wasn’t anything.” His voice sounded more calm.

Yea there were still tears in his eyes.

“Alexander, what is it?” Magnus asked hesitantly.

The look Alec bestowed upon him made Magnus want to die a little bit inside. It was the look of defeat, like he had given up on all hope ---

“I’m never going to get out of here, aren’t I,” Alec stated flatly, his eyes not looking at Magnus. “You don’t have to dance around the topic. I know. Somehow, I’ve always known…”

He trailed off, suddenly uncomfortably silent.

“Alexander,” Magnus whispered, his voice full of anguish. “I never said that, but –”

“But it’s a possibility, right?” Alec insisted stubbornly. 

What could Magnus say to that? He couldn’t. He just stared back at Alec, feeling a bit lightheaded as Alec continued on with his speech.

Alec smiled ruefully. “I was kidding myself,” he continued in that low tone of voice,” that I thought I could ever get out of this situation, that I could wake up again – and continue my life as it was…”

He sighed then. 

“I already knew deep down that there wasn’t much chance of it – I mean, who wakes up from a coma? Not many…and as it was – my body was damaged even further after I was poisoned. Seriously, the odds are completely stacked against me…”

The tears rushed out, dripping down his cheeks, off his jawline and chin, onto the ground, as Alec and Magnus just sat there silently – with Magnus’s eyes growing darker with worry, concern, and dismay ---

“And the worst thing about this?” Alec whispered. “I don’t get to see anyone in person, to say goodbye even. I don’t get to hug them goodbye, or to feel their arms around me, for real.” 

He turned his tearstained face toward Magnus. And smiled sadly. “And as great as this has been, it doesn’t even hold a candle to holding you for real,” he said mournfully. 

He lifted his hand to caress Magnus’s cheek, and Magnus felt his eyes fill with tears. “To know that I will never get to feel and hold you, with your wonderful weight in my arms, our bodies moving together, to feel you pulse around me as we both join in our love – that has to be the worst thing about all of this.”

He continued to hold Magnus’s gaze. 

“Seriously,” he whispered, his voice breaking,” That’s my biggest regret in all of this. That I can’t feel how it’s like to be in your arms again. That I can’t rush into your arms, as we fall on the bed – as we have done many many times, and then to slowly make you unravel under me, with every kiss, on every part of our body –”

Magnus’s choked gasp made Alec stop. Magnus’s eyes were overflowing with tears.

“We will make it,” Magnus insisted, despite the tears trailing down his face. He sniffled. “We will. You need to have faith…”

He trailed off as a different look overtook Alec’s features just then….

It was a peaceful, serene look. Magnus was puzzled. 

Alec’s eyes had taken on a faraway expression. There was a long silence.

Then he spoke. “It’s okay, Magnus,” he said softly. “You did everything you could. Really…””

A growing sense of horror dawned upon Magnus as he realized what Alec was trying to say.

The next few words totally confirmed Magnus’s worst suspicions. 

“But we need to face reality, right?” Alec said softly, sighing heavily.

“_You are NOT supposed to give up!”_ Magnus stated firmly. He shook Alec slightly as if to emphasize his point, to snap his boyfriend out of it. “_You WON’T give up! I haven’t given up, why would you?!_ Why!”

His voice held such desperate agony. Only firm self-control kept him from _exploding..._

Alec only smiled sadly, looking resigned. He didn’t react. He only looked at Magnus with such love and adoration, it made Magnus ache so deeply inside….

“I decided I’m going to make my peace with it,” he said in an even quieter tone of voice. “But…it’s just a lot to take, knowing that I will never be returning to how things are, and that I will never get to talk, or to see my siblings again. Or to hold you again, or to make love with you – again…”

Alec had turned away upon speaking the end of the sentence. He was sitting up, his back incredibly straight – and Magnus knew Alec was fronting, trying not to show his emotions. 

Magnus knew Alec, sometimes even better than Alec knew himself. 

He knew that Alec was absolutely _devastated_ inside.

**“What I wouldn’t do,”** he heard Alec whisper brokenly, **“To just feel you again…”**

And with that…Magnus’s insides _shattered_. His soul, his heart --- like glass, exploded, cutting up all his insides, bleeding –

_Or at least it felt like it --_

HIs magic freaked, exploding within him so strongly, burning through his veins, so caustically, he sharply hissed from the _pain _– imagining it as dark purple and even black as it tore through his system – _the color of heartbreak and death --_-

HIs eyes fired up – the feeling of _desperation, heartache, longing, anger, and impossibility_ as this whole situation with Alec had brought upon them –

A quiet whisper began in the back of his head…almost as it offering it as an option --

_Memulihlannnnn..._

_Yes,_ Magnus breathed automatically, before his brain could even register what was being said.

It nudged again. A bit louder.

_ **Memulihlannnn...** _

And in that instance, Magnus knew. Magnus knew what he had to do. 

He didn’t care what the price was – he just couldn’t take Alec feeling so desperate . He couldn’t stand his own soul being shattered by these notions.

_It was killing him inside…._

As if in answer to someone’s question, he slowly nodded his head. 

And as in response to his response, he felt the magic within his gut start expanding. Quickly ---

He turned toward Alec, who was still facing away from him, stoic and not responding.

“Alexander,” Magnus said. 

Alec didn’t respond.

Magnus tried again. “Alexander, please. I need you. Come here,” he said, his voice pleading.

That seemed to do it. Alec turned around, his eyes red rimmed from crying. He wiped his eyes roughly with the back of his hand.

_“_What is it, Magnus?” he asked quietly, his voice devoid of any hope or feeling.

Magnus resisted the urge to cringe. That tone almost broke him…

“Just kiss me,” Magnus whispered. “Please. Now…”

He fixed his most imploring look upon him.

Magnus watched as Alec’s eyes filled with fresh tears. 

“How can I ever deny you, my love?” Alec whispered. He started moving closer, and Magnus felt the pull of the magic within himself grow even more intense as he did so….

Their heads leaned in toward one another, Magnus’s heart now pounding against his chest, hissing sharply in pain as the caustic magic hit even more intensely – it was making him feel faint –

The chemistry between them seemed to grow more and more intense, as their lips neared one another –

And then, right before their lips met, Magnus whispered ---

** _“Aku Cinta Kamu Selamanya, Sayang.”_ **

** _(...I love you forever...)_ **

….

And then, neither could explain what happened next. 

But as soon as their lips met, they were suddenly kissing with a frenzy, passion growing within each other, their arms snaking around each other’s backs. Magnus felt his eyes flare strongly, until they burst into_ flames_ \---

As their tongues slid against one another, more and more intensely, their hearts pounding furiously against each other’s chest, until it sounded like they were beating as one – resounding in each other’s ears, heart, and soul ---

And suddenly, Alec pulled away, panting. 

But with his eyes wide as saucers. 

_“Angel,”_ he breathed. Reaching up toward Magnus’s cheek, he tentatively stroked it softly, feeling every bit of softness, Magnus’s skin, as solid as he remembered, under the pads of his fingers. Magnus shivered intensely. 

“How is this possible? I can feel you…every bit of you…” Alec trailed off.

“Oh?” Magnus asked, breathlessly. _IT WORKED! _He was rendered speechless, as his heart filled with utmost joy, even for a second --

He willed himself to push all the other voices, shouting at the back of his mind regarding the adverse effects of what he had just done ---

What mattered now -- to get to final phase, was between _him and Alec._

His mouth twisted into a smirk. “Well, then," he said laviscously, "If that’s the case, I’m sure you wouldn’t mind testing out other areas to see exactly how we can_ feel_ one another…”

His eyes widened suddenly, his words caught in his throat, as Alec’ hand had already gone in front to cup his clothed erection, and rubbing at it at first slightly, then slowly applying more pressure. Magnus’s eyes fell closed, as a filthy moan escaped his lips.,

“I guess that answers my question.” Magnus opened his eyes, still deeply hooded, to face Alec’s shy yet knowing lopsided smile., his breathing suddenly extremely uneven, his voice trembling. “Come here, my love," he murmured.

And with that, Alec leaned in, his hand still on Magnus but now firmly rubbing upon him. He crushed his lips to his, his tongue probing inside. Magnus gasped from the intensity of his kiss -- bruising.. and perfect. He returned the kiss, quickly getting to the height of passion that Alec had initiated, his breath quickening as he felt Alec’s hand slip inside the front of his pants and wrap his hand around his hard cock.

Magnus trembled, gasping, as Alec increased his stroking, particularly concentrating upon the frenulum, which was extra sensitive. 

It had been _so_ long…

Alec hadn’t stopped kissing him since -- the kisses were getting more passionate, sloppy, and with less control --

They suddenly both tumbled onto the ground, Alec rolling partially on top of Magnus.

“Smooth,” Magnus teased. He felt like he was floating right now, his heart beating through his chest, in the way that only Alec could make it beat…

“Be quiet and kiss me,” Alec growled intimately, as he nipped at Magnus’s earcuff.

Magnus wasn’t going to argue with that. 

Now that they could properly feel and experience each other, it was as if a furnace had lit under their two entwined bodies, as both allowed passion and love to pour through as they kissed and tasted and exploring each other bodies. 

Magnus faintly felt Alec pulling at his clothing. He knew Alec liked to take off his clothing piece by piece, as opposed to having Magnus magick it off. So he didn’t do anything, sighing as he felt Alec’s deft hands gently brush against his skin upon removing his shirt, only to place his lips lingeringly against his neck and shoulder, nipping and sucking gently. 

Magnus hummed, as he began to help Alec with removing his shirt. Magnus threw back his head, moaning as Alec sucked purple bruises into his neck and shoulder area. Now they were both bare on top, wearing only pants. 

He felt Alec roll completely upon him, his knees slotting perfectly between his. And Alec started grinding down upon his clothed cock, while his fingers weaved through Magnus’s long hair. 

Magnus could feel Alec’s body shudder with pleasure as he rutted against him, searching for more friction. Slowly, Magnus’s hands went to the front of Alec’s pants, undoing the clasp, and pulling down the zipper, pulling at the edge of his pants. Alec quickly sat up, making good time in divesting himself of his pants – Magnus doing the same. Then they embraced each other once again, Alec sensuously licking around Magnus’s earlobe, as they started grinding against one another, their breaths coming in hot and heavy.

“Soooo….What do you want to do?” Alec whispered seductively, his hot breath tickling Magnus’s ear. “Do you want me to ride you, until I come untouched, and have you covered in my cum? Would you like that?”

Magnus shuddered at the image. 

His eyes blazed. “Would I ever. You would look exquisite, my darling,” he whispered ardently. “Roll me over, so I can prepare you…”

Alec’s smile intensified. Still embracing Magnus, he rolled them so Alec was now the one lying on the ground. Magnus quickly got on top, and slowly used his tongue to trace a path down Alec’s muscular chest, nipping at his skin, and biting lightly upon each nipple on his chest – as Alec arched his back and moaned in ecstasy. 

Magnus continued to move down slowly, trailing kisses down over his abdominal muscles, and soon he was licking at the underside of Alec’s engorged cock. He smiled, feeling Alec flinch, and hearing his moans. Then his lips were wrapped around the girth of Alec’s head, and slowly sliding up and down, using his tongue to wrap around the length to provide extra stimulation. Alec’s moans grew filthier and filter as his fingers pulled tighter at Magnus’s hair and scalp. 

He eventually popped off with a soft “pop” and moved further down until he was delicately licking around the rim, making Alec jump and twitch ,and then airlift when Magnus pushed his tongue inside and proceeded to fuck him in and out of his hole.

“That feeeels so good,” Alec moaned. 

He suddenly felt Magnus put one finger in, and Alec bit his lip as he adjusted, bearing down to accommodate the finger. Before long, it was two, then three, and Alec was quivering and shouting as Magnus hit his prostrate again and again.

“Magnus, _please_, “ Alec pleaded, nearly faint and blinded by desire.

“I got you,” he said softly. He got up and positioned himself in front of Alec, and then slowly he pushed inside. HIs eyes widened. Alec was soo tight, and warm, and amazing.

He inhaled sharply. It had definitely been awhile – he had nearly come just from the first thrust alone. Okay, Magnus, chill. Nice and easy…

Their lovemaking was slow, and sensual, with the loves never taking their eyes off one another as Magnus advanced forward with his thrusts, Alec moaning and flinching whenever Magnus hit Alec’s prostrate. 

Soon they were both clutching at each other tightly, gasping for breath.

“I’m almost there,” Alec gasped.

Magnus smiled intimately at Alec, as he bent down and whispered into Alec’s ear. “Then come for me, darling. Let me hear your filthy noises and how much you like it…” 

And with that, Magnus started slamming into Alec’s prostrate, dead on – and Alec’s eyes nearly bugged out as the pressure built quickly in his gut

“_OH OH OH OH OH ---”_ Alec moaned loudly, as his eyes rolling back as he came, shooting white ropes of cum all over himself and Magnus, his dark hair plastered to his face, sweat dripping down his forehead and ears, chest heaving…

Magnus, breathing heavily, thrust once, twice more into Alec -- that second time was just too much --he felt his whole body tighten up before sweet release made his whole body shudder, and he came inside Alec. 

His blood was singing,. his breaths heaving, and his heart pounding so hard, he could hear it in his ears. And it seemed to be getting louder and louder. It seemed like he was drawn to the sound, hypnotized to its resounding beat….

He was losing sense of where he was right now – for a few moments it felt like he was floating in endless time and space --

Faintly he felt a touch upon the side of his face, which helped to reorient him. 

Blinking twice, and feeling dazed, he managed to focus in front of him. At Alec. His hazel eyes held a concerned expression in them.

And he was saying something. Or trying to say something. 

His mouth was moving. But Magnus couldn’t hear anything, as the loud rhythmic beats were resounding throughout his soul and in the air around him.

He looked at Alec, confused. 

And then for some reason, his vision started blurring….

The image of Alec swam in front of his eyes. 

HIs mouth opened slightly, but no words came out --

Alec kept talking, or at least his mouth kept moving. HIs eyes took on a look of apprehension, then _terror._

**…_Pengorbanan, Magnus. _****_Saatnya menghadapi takdir Anda_****…** the whispers in his head went, around and around in his head....

_(Sacrifice... This is your destiny...)_

**_Yes,_** Magnus’s brain responded. **_Yes, this is how it must be…_**

Now was the time. 

The curse had come to collect…

In Magnus’s heart, he knew he had already agreed with whatever was happening. 

There had been a silent pact formed with these chain of events – as soon as he had heard his call of destiny, and then told Alec that he loved him forever –

He knew something would culminate, that he wouldn’t have it within his power to _stop_ –

** _The chain of events…_ **

He faintly caught the scared look in Alec’s eyes, as his vision blurred even more.

_Don’t be afraid,_ my love, Magnus wanted to reassure him. _This is how it needs to be…_

…But then his vision went white, and Magnus collapsed in Alec’s arms.

Not a second later, a white light exploded, within the area where Alec and Magnus stood – 

….Alec’s screams resounded, echoing through every passage within Alec’s entire body ---

….

…..

The white light slowly dissipated -- and then it was as if nothing was ever there in the first place. 

Alec and Magnus had both – _disappeared._

….

….

****************************

_Beep…Beep…Beep_

_…what was that incessant sound? SO ANNOYING…_

Groaning softly, Alec opened his eyes…

_\-- BLINDING WHITE LIGHT --! AHHHHHH!!! --- Alec immediately shut his eyes tightly._

_ That had been too harsh…!!!_

_…But wait, _his brain registered_. White light? Hmm, this was…strange…._

Taking a deep breath, he ventured opening his eyes again – albeit slowly ---in order to adjust to the strange brightness –

And then he saw it. 

What was around him….

Greenish walls. Heart monitor. IV pole with machine, with tubes – leading into his arm. Side table. Him dressed…in a hospital gown. Lying on a hospital…bed ---?!

_!!!!!!!!!!!!!! – _went his brain._ He was in the Infirmary! And...he was back! Back to the world of the living --_

_Oh, this was way too much for him to figure out right now…!~_

“By the Angel,” he rasped, coughing slightly. Thirsty, he was so very thirsty…like he had never been before…

HIs hand fumbled as he found the wire leading to the call button, and he attempted to press down upon it, as harder as he could…

He barely had any strength, ugh ---

He watched the notification light up…

_MAGNUS_, was the next thought in his head.

_IT WORKED. BY THE ANGEL. IT WORKED. JUST LIKE YOU SAID AND HOPED --!!!!, _his heart was screaming.

His eyes filled with tears, with grief and joy, taking in his surroundings – just a typical hospital room in the Infirmary, and was he ever glad to be here! He was speechless, his brain not being able to process any words capable of describing how he felt right now…

Alec took a deep breath – of actual air – and exhaled, letting out a huff. He couldn’t’ help the huge smile of relief that spread across his face, as his shoulders sagged.

Then his smile disappeared, replaced by confusion, his brows knitting together…

_BUT, WAIT ---_

Next thought…

_WHERE WAS MAGNUS?_

Now everything he had experienced while in his body with Magnus replayed through his head again – and he called Magnus saying that it was worth every sacrifice, for Magnus to bring Alec back to the world…

“No,” Alec stated softly, shaking his head in disbelief. “M-Magnus, no….” Tears started welling up in Alec’s eyes. “No, not like this...” her murmured, almost in a whimper, his emotions threatening to overwhelm him... 

_And then he felt it. An odd buzz... In the back of his head. It was... reassuring. And calming, strangely enough..._

He took a deep breath, odd relief flooding through his system.

_He didn't know what it was --_

Suddenly there was two nurses, along with a wild eyed Isabelle, standing in the doorway of the room. All looked slightly disheveled as if they had ran at top speed to get there... 

All _staring_ at him.

“Alec,” Isabelle said slowly, as if still in shock. Brother and sister stared at one another. “You’re awake…”

Alec felt his lips turn up slightly upon seeing his sister. 

“I guess I am…” he ventured awkwardly, lifting his hand up in a half-wave.

Suddenly, his arms were full with Isabelle, giving him a huge hug. Isabelle was crying and saying, “I am so glad you woke up, I can’t believe it…I missed you so much,” over and over again…

Alec’s arms went around his sister, and hugged her back, fiercely. Tightly.

There was a gasp, so familiar, coming from the doorway.

Jace! Alec’s brain thought, as he looked up from the embrace. 

And there Jace was, his blond hair a bit bedraggled, his eyes red-rimmed, and currently filling up with tears. He was biting his lip as he looked at Alec and Isabelle hugging one another, almost as if he couldn’t believe it.

“Alec,” Jace’s mouth moved, nearly inaudibly. But to Alec, it might as well been a scream – a shiver ran through his rune, and he flinched, causing Isabelle to break off the hug. 

“Sorry,” Alec apologized awkwardly. 

Isabelle only smiled. “Not to worry, big brother, “she said softly. She turned toward the doorway, now seeing Jace.

“Look like someone wants to see you,” she said. She stepped aside.

“Brother,” Jace whispered hoarsely, stepping across the threshold and flying into Alec’s arms. Alec’s arms came around to hug his parabatai tightly.

“I knew you would come back to us,” Jace kept whispering fiercely, choking up.

Alec grinned against Jace’s shoulder. “Well, thank you for telling me not to give up on myself,” he whispered back.

He felt Jace freeze at that, and then he withdrew slightly so he could look at Alec directly in the face. 

“You heard that?” he said, sounding slightly stupefied. The expression on his face was one of disbelief.

Alec nodded seriously. “And…when you sobbed, it hit me right there,” he said, pointing to his right hip. “And you said something like, Do I feel you?”

Jace’s heterochromatic eyes looked at him in shock. “I did say that…” he breathed. “Oh, Alec…”

They just looked at one another, parabatai to parabatai…

And then both started grinning. 

“It’s so good to have you back, for real,” Jace stated taking his hand and giving Alec the parabatai handshake.

“Same here,” Alec responded in kind, returning the gesture. 

Then he looked from Jace and Isabelle. “Listen,” he stated, “Have any of you spoken with Magnus? I need to speak to him right away…”

Isabelle and Jace looked at one another. 

“Actually, I thought he would be the first one to rush over here,” Isabelle said slowly. Alec noticed she suddenly appeared a bit hesitant, and unsure. But of course, perhaps that was just his overactive imagination. He had just been through a lot. She was probably preoccupied about other things...

”Wait,” Isabelle stated, drawing his attention to her. 

“How do you know Magnus…came back from Edom months ago? And, uh, seriously -- what was he doing, going to Edom in the first place? That was a horrible decision for him to make…”

She looked thoroughly confused.

Alec looked at her. “Never mind how I know,” he said hastily. His heart sank. 

“Well, can someone reach him for me? I-I just want to make sure he’s okay,” he lamented. Then he thought a moment, and added, "Can you send Catarina one as well? I just want to cover all bases..."

“Of course, big brother,” Isabelle said gently. 

She quickly scribbled two fire messages, one after the other, and sent them both off. 

“I hope he gets it, and rushes on over. You know nothing short of a life threatening crisis, or whatever -- would keep him away…” Isabelle stated, taking Alec's hand and squeezing it gently.

Alec smiled. But his insides were churning. That’s what he was afraid of.

_HIs heart pounded uncomfortably in his chest…_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 13 to come


	13. A Maze With No Escape

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Magnus -- in light of the magic he invoked -- unexpectedly ends up in between Realms -- with a choice he needs to make...
> 
> That choice will end up impacting everything...

Magnus was – _nowhere. _

_Nowhere at all._

He could feel himself, the barest essence of himself floating about –

He was _still_ in soul form --

But this wasn’t the same as before, when transitioning between the loft into Alec’s body…

_This was…_

“Hello, nephew.” The dark, familiar voice suddenly permeated his senses. 

_ **Lucifer.** _

Unending silence. Almost…unnatural. Eerie. 

It seemed to last for an eternity – then again, time had no meaning where he was – now…

_Then –_

“I see you went through with it, eh? You saved him, you know. He’s back, all faculties intact. Whatever you did, you did a hell of a job. And that’s not to be taken lightly. _He owes you – beyond everything _\--”

“What are you talking about?” Magnus asked, confused.

Lucifer raised an eyebrow. 

“What you did,” he said. “It brought you here. Ultimately something happened – to your Nephilim. Your magic, your sacrifice – sent him back. _To where he belongs.”_

“Alexander is awake? So it’s confirmed?” Magnus couldn’t even dare to believe it. After all this time…

He knew he had done something at the time he had invoked the chain reaction – he was conscious of it prior to passing out. But he hadn’t known how dramatic or successful it would be --

Magnus hoped beyond hope that Lucifer was telling him the truth.

Tears sprang into his eyes. HIs heart was so full, with happiness.

“It wasn’t really a conscious decision at all,” Magnus murmured. “My magic chose for me, and it usually follows my heart. I don’t regret it. Any of it. I did what I needed to do."

He was telling the whole truth. He was at peace with his decision.

"And I did it, knowing the possible consequences of this…,” he concluded.

“So it appears. Any questions?” Lucifer asked.

“Uh…where am I, right now? Didn’t you say I’d be headed to Edom now, that was the only place I could survive? Well, I’m certainly not there, that’s for sure –“

“Haven’t you figured it out? “ Lucifer asked, in a manner more patient than Magnus had expected. “You are in the _Otherworld_ right now.”

“Oh?” 

_This_ \-- Magnus had not expected. “You didn’t tell me about this, Uncle," he said. 

“Well,” Lucifer said, “I did not tell you about this, because it is rare that one ends up coming here. This curse usually sends those on a one way path, without a choice. But somehow it appears it has given you a choice – albeit still one with the same outcome to an extent, that you can never return to how you were –“

“So, what kind of choice is that, really – in the end?” Magnus protested.

“Well,” Lucifer reasoned. “If you remain here, then you don’t need to go to Edom, and suffer an existence there. In here, you have the ability to dreamwalk wherever you choose –meeting those you love -- in their dreams as a wandering entity. But you can also never see those on the Earthly plane again in person, to say goodbye. It’s of course no consequence to me, but I know those in the mortal world tend to cherish those type of things –“

The thought of not seeing Catarina again, or Madzie, or Isabelle – or Alec, when he had just expended everything he had to save him – sent _horrid _shivers through his soul –

However, just thinking of being exiled to Edom, that horrible place – where his father lived, was also unfathomable. Even though Lucifer had already told him that going to Edom was inevitable. –

The thought of having to choose between those two eventualities made him feel sick to his stomach…

“I don’t know,” Magnus said finally, “Neither seems optimal at this moment. To not be in Edom should be the ideal choice…but not being able to say goodbye to those I love, and especially –”

“Not to mention,” Lucifer interjected, “That if you were to return to the Earthly plane after this, it is unpredictable what changes that would cause within you. The magic will eventually become unstable, given how much you have expended it…with unforeseen consequences to those around you. It could even affect the world around you, depending upon the amount of magic you used –”

“It would pretty much limit your time on Earth, forcing you into an inevitable conclusion…”

Magnus swallowed hard.

Hmm, he had nearly forgotten about that part. Well, he hadn’t wanted to become that type of threat to the world if he did return –

“The price of all of this was steep. As you were quite aware,” Lucifer reminded him.

_Pengorbanan,_ the whispers went around and around within Magnus’s head.

He closed his eyes. 

“I know, Uncle. I know,” he whispered. He felt defeated once again – stuck between a rock and a hard place. 

Again, he didn’t regret anything. After all, he did end up saving Alec, and that was the one thing that was paramount. However, to end up, like this – and possibly as a potential threat to the existing world if he returned unstable --

At the moment, Magnus wasn’t even sure at that moment if he would even want Alec to see him in that state…

But to never see him again, even in person –

It was starting to tear him up inside –

…

Suddenly he felt a shiver, where his lower half would be – and he suddenly saw purple smoke rising up, surrounding him. What was going on ---

OH, he was solidifying…and his surroundings were lightening…

His eyes suddenly felt heavy, falling shut ---

And he suddenly found himself standing on a plain, staring out at the familiar surroundings of the _Otherworld_ around him, as desolate and empty as ever –

And before a second had even elapsed – Lucifer had appeared before him in a green POOF!

He smiled upon him.

“Nephew,” he said. “

“H-How did that happen?” Magnus asked in wonder. He ran his hair thought his long bangs, huffing nervously.

Lucifer snorted. 

“Surely you didn’t think you would be just floating around for all of eternity, did you?” he asked.

Magnus shrugged. “I hadn’t known what to expect, to tell you the truth, Uncle,” he confessed.

“Well,” Lucifer stated. “This is how you would be, if you chose to stay in this world.” He looked around. “Right now, things are slow, no one is passing by or dreaming right now.”

Magnus didn’t know what to think about all of this ---

His head was spinning –

And then he felt it. A slight pull within his chest. 

_A tug…at his heart._

Suddenly a vision flew into his head. Catarina! He could just about make out her face in his mind,. her face etched with worry.

_Magnus,_ he heard her saying in his head. Her voice sounded so far away. _I can sense a change in your level of consciousness. And the aura around your body seems to have lightened for the first time in days. Does this mean you are ready to come back to us?_

Then another voice came through.

_Uncle Magnus, are you ready to wake up? Please wake up. We need you…”_

_Lillith,_ Magnus thought, his heart stuttering.. _Madzie…_

And now he could see her face as well, her bright eyes creased with concern and love for him, with her wonderful pigtails, rosy cheeks and lips.

_Magnus,_ Catarina was saying, _I know you did not tell me everything about whatever you’ve done to yourself. You didn’t need to tell me. And I forgive you, because that’s what best friends do. But I will kill you myself if you do not return to us. Even if whatever happens is inevitable, you cannot just leave us like this – without seeing us again. Whatever happens, we can find a way, I swear, Magnus. But you can’t just up and leave us – just like that. You just can’t!_

Her voice now sounded edged in tears, and he saw her wipe her eyes hastily with the back of her hand.

He inhaled sharply.

_Mama,_ Madzie’s voice suddenly said, sounding very afraid. _Why are you crying? Uncle Magnus isn’t going to die, is he?_

_I…don’t know, Madzie_, Catarina said, her voice suddenly dropping to a lower tone, sounding defeated. _I’m trying so hard to pull him back –_

Magnus’s insides were churning, and all these contradictory thoughts were flying through his head.

And he felt a tug in his heart again, but stronger –

_Well, keep trying,_ Mama! Madzie was saying, her little voice rising. _Don’t let go! We can’t let him go. Please, Mama. Please…_

Those words speared Magnus’s heart like barbs splitting his chest wide open –

This was unbearable beyond anything --

Magnus didn’t realize he was crying, until he tasted the saltiness upon his own lips.

He shook his head, trying to refocus, and realized that Lucifer was looking at him. With a surprisingly empathetic look upon his face. 

“Wow,” Lucifer said finally, taking a deep breath. “I felt that…the love. So much love. I can’t say I know how it feels. But I can sense that this is incredibly hard for you. I underestimated how much. I don’t envy your having to make this decision, Nephew…”

Magnus couldn’t respond. He was still overcome with too much emotion, and from what he had seen of Catarina and Madzie.

“I-I can’t leave them. Not just yet,” he whispered. “Even though I know it is going to end up the much more painful way to go…”

He looked down for a moment, to collect himself. Then he looked up again, fixing his gazed upon Lucifer’s face. 

“So,” he finally ventured, in a small voice. “Is Edom really a one way trip? Is there no way I could ever return?”

Lucifer appeared to ponder that for a moment.

“Well,” he said slowly. “You don’t die, as long as you go to Edom intact – as long as the volatility of the magic doesn’t destroy you on Earth, first. However, the state that you end up in, when you arrive in Edom, may determine your fate. There’s no guarantee you will arrive as you are. I mean, physically you will be fine, but nothing else can be guaranteed aside for that. You are of Imperial blood, of the Kingdom of Edom, Magnus. And she likes to collect those which belong to her. There’s going to be an undeniable force drawing you to the Realm. Depending upon how unstable you are when you arrive, or the circumstances in which you arrive, or the situation you face – it may make you more vulnerable to her forces, and her claim to you. It may end up overcoming you, despite your best efforts. And even without you knowing that it’s happened…”

“So what does that mean?” Magnus asked. That was so much information Lucifer had divulged just now, and his brain was trying to make sense of all of it…

“If the forces of Edom take over you, you may not even think about returning back to Earth,” Lucifer stated. “This is what I meant about it being a one-way trip. You may just end up staying in Edom, of your own free will – or so it seems. But, meanwhile it wasn’t even free will at all to begin with. But the inevitably of it all, due to the claim of the Realm upon you, and your obligation toward it. Which sings with your blood. And even more so, given what Asmodeus inadvertently caused within you –”

At the mention of Asmodeus, Magnus’s blood boiled with anger. 

Now he could feel his anger rising to the surface. 

“Him,” he suddenly seethed, feeling the pressure behind his eyes. He felt his eyes suddenly light up in flames. “Him. It’s all his fault! He put this curse upon me, by putting those shackles upon me –”

“He inadvertently made you more powerful than him,” Lucifer stated calmly. “And then he realized his grave error. He was only too happy to send you back, because you presented as a **threat** to him. And attempted to grab that power for himself. Not knowing that the magic couldn’t be taken from you just like that…”

“Threat, eh?” Magnus sputtered. “I’ll show him what a real threat looks like…”

Now his magic was raging, circling madly within his bloodstream, and he realized his hands were shaking, badly ---

A stronger tug – within his heart, suddenly made him inhale sharply. And warmth of some kind glowed within him. 

_Uncle Magnus!_ Madzie was yelling. _ Come back to us!_

And then all the craziness with the magic abruptly shut off.

Slowly another vision came to him. A red string – magicked from the omamori. It was visible now. 

Like a lifeline – back to Earth, and those he loved.

_He had the choice! _

_...but also would start him on an inevitable path, of whatever outcome could not be predicted._

Either way, he was going to lose – everyone.

And then, the visions of Deschamel and Dearborn entered his mind -- and his soul erupted in rage. That they had tried to kill Alec by tampering with his IV...

If Magnus didn't seek out retribution for their actions toward Alec -- then who else would?

_Or could?_

_Who would even believe Alec -- who Magnus knew would probably not even speak of it, since there was no way to prove it??_

_NO. _

_THEY COULD NOT GET AWAY WITH THIS --_

“I have to go back,” Magnus heard himself say quietly, even before he realized what he was saying.. 

And with those words, the vision of the red string from the omamori grew brighter and brighter in his mind.

Lucifer was gazing at him. And then a sad smile appeared upon his lips.

“I figured as much,” he said. “You do what you feel is right. You know what stakes you face in all of this…”

Magnus slowly nodded. “I do,” he said. Then he felt a weight upon his soul, as if he had bound himself to his fate.

“Go then,” Lucifer said, not unkindly. “They are waiting for you.”

Magnus did not speak any further, as his eyes fell closed, attempting to focus upon the red glowing string. It seemed to become clearer and clearer in his head, the more he focused…

And then suddenly, the string appeared solid. Tentatively he reached out with his hand, his fingers wrapping around it.

He felt the string tremble as he did so.

“Magnus?” Catarina’s voice stated, tinged with awe. 

He tugged at it slightly.

“...MAGNUS!” Catarina said, again. But this time her voice sounded more confident and light. “Hold on, I’m bringing you in…”

And then he felt it, Catarina’s gentle magic peeking through. His soul sighed at the sight of her yellow magic, wrapping around the red string, as it reached for him. As it approached him, he shut his eyes briefly, and allowed it to envelop him. It was like the most nurturing force he could ever hope to feel –

But that was Catarina, in every way --

In the background he could hear Madzie’s excited voice. “Uncle Magnus! You’re coming back to us! I am so happy,” she squealed.

“You worried us,” Catarina’s warm voice stated.

If you only knew, Magnus thought, blinking back sudden tears which had appeared in his eyes. How was he going to tell them, that in returning to them – that there was only one way this could all end?

_..and what was he going to tell Alec when he finally saw him?_

Was it better than Alec not even remember him at all then? To make him suffer through eventual heartache…or even to see him eventually become destroyed, right in front of his eyes…it would just break his heart…

At this rate, Magnus had even started wondering if it would just be better for everyone involved, for him to say his goodbyes – _and then just to die by his own hand…_

To avoid the immense and excruciating pain and suffering that the volatility of the magic would inevitably incur upon him -- 

For his loved ones to witness this…his eventual self-destruction, that was more than he could bear –

Suddenly he felt himself being jerked forward – _HARD…_

Into a blinding red light --!

And suddenly, he was blinking, getting his bearings back, surrounded by silky gold sheets. And the familiar smells hitting his nose.

The loft, he thought faintly. He was back at the loft.

On his own bed. HIS OWN BED! He could have wept at the very realization. 

He was HOME.

And realized that two figures were standing on his right. Catarina and Madzie, both with tear stained faces, their eyes full of concern, yet with happiness and relief.

Madzie moved first, flinging herself into his arms. “Uncle Magnus!” Madzie said, her voice breaking. Magnus hugged her fiercely. 

“Hey, little one,” he whispered against her hair. 

Then he noticed it. He no longer needed to move his hair off his face. It just wasn’t there anymore…

As if Madzie noticed his hesitation, she pulled back as well, looking him over..

“You look like yourself again,” she stated. 

His hand went to his head. 

Yup, his hair was short again. He flicked his wrist, adjusting his hairstyle so he had a quiff once again, highlighted with magenta.

He glanced at the mirror to the left of him. “Not bad, if I do say so myself,” he murmured.

He also looked down upon himself. He was wearing his regular gold pajamas. No more purple….

“Magnus,” Catarina stated, her voice serene and honey-tongued. 

He breathed in deeply. Her voice was the best thing to hit his ears in a long while. 

“Welcome back. I’m so going to kill you later, but for now I’m just happy to have you back…” Catarina stated.

He sighed. “Catarina,” he stated, his voice breaking. “I’m…sorry I didn’t tell you.”

Catarina pursued her lips. “I don’t know how it happened, but I was getting sporadic visions in my head,” she stated. “Was that the side effect of being the holder of the omamori?”

“I’m not sure,” Magnus stated. He lifted his eyes toward her. “So…you know?”

“You mean, do I know of the decision you made?” Catarina asked. “Unfortunately, yes. I mean, you did an_ incredible _thing, Magnus. I don’t know exactly what you did – but it had to be you that did it. You managed to heal Alec, in ways that we could never have even fathomed. He completely woke up from his coma, all signs of his head injury gone. Not even any residual after-effects which would normally come with the type of injury he sustained . We had all but ruled his case an impossibility. He would _never _have woken up, if it wasn’t for you…”

“OH,” Magnus breathed. 

So Lucifer _had_ told him the truth. 

In hindsight he was grateful for that. He had nothing against his Uncle. All he had done, since the beginning, was to tell him the truth. 

And nothing but the truth.

It was his father – that he had the animosity with –

And then...in thinking about Asmodeus, his mind also wandered to Dearborn and Deschamel – those traitors...

Again, he felt that unresolved anger rising within him…

“Uncle Magnus, are you okay? You are no longer smiling.” Madzie’s voice sounded concerned. “Also your eyes are red…”

Calm down, Magnus told himself. No need to get riled up in front of Catarina and Madzie. Immediately he felt his eyes settle.

“Oh,” Madzie breathed. “That’s better.” She hugged him fiercely once again.

“Madzie,” Catarina said gently. “Why don’t you go play with your dollhouse in the living room for a moment. Mama needs to have a talk with Uncle Magnus. We will leave the door open -- just call if you need anything…”

“Of course, Mama,” Madzie said, happily. She gave Magnus a kiss on the cheek – to which Magnus absolutely melted. And then she walked out of the room.

Then Magnus melted, once again, as Catarina took him in her arms.

“You crazy, crazy, wonderful, you, Magnus,” she whispered. 

“I know, I know. I’m so sorry,” he whispered back, his lips against her hair.

He felt Catarina tremble against him, slightly.

They just held one another for a long moment. Then she pulled away slightly.-

“He asked for you, you know,” she stated.

Who --? The question was on his lips, and then Catarina fixed with an incredulous look.

“Who do you think?” she asked, affectionately exasperated. “Your boyfriend.”

“Oh,” Magnus said, feeling his cheeks growing warm. “Of course.” He furrowed his brows. “When did he ask for me, earlier today?”

“Three days ago,” she stated.

Magnus’s heart sank. Wow, so Alec had been waiting for a response for three days? And – he himself was in limbo for three days?

_Wow, just wow._

“Oh, Alec was too weak to send fire messages,” Catarina added. “He asked Izzy to send them to us. Obviously, yours bounced back. I immediately sent back a response telling Izzy that you weren’t back yet, but that she should tell Alec that you were feeling exhausted from overusing your magic…”

Just imagining Alec’s hopeful face falling when receiving that news from Isabelle, made Magnus feel absolutely _horrible_…

“Please, don’t look like that,” Catarina pleaded. “There’s no way you could have predicted this, or when you were going to return…”

She took a deep breath, and then continued.

“Anyway, within the hour, she came to the loft after receiving my message. She was extremely concerned about you.” 

Magnus swallowed hard, imagining how worried Isabelle must have been for him. 

She had known how risky this all was, after her having accosted Catarina outside of Alec’s room, and then he had ended up telling her everything, including the lengths for which he would go for her brother.

_To imagine her having to front for him with regard to Alec…_

“I allowed her in here to take a look at you, since she was aware of what was going on,” Catarina stated. “I just warned her beforehand that you might seem a bit pale and that you had an aura of magic around you since you had invoked the spell…”

“How did she react?” Magnus asked worriedly.

“She nearly burst into tears, and she hugged me for comfort. She also whispered words into your ear and gave you a kiss on the cheek, thanking you for saving Alec. That’s when I found out how well your hunch had worked,” Catarina said. “She said she would just tell Alec that you were home, but just convalescing, and that you would come by when you were feeling up to it.”

“Awww,” Magnus said. A feeling of warmth spread through him. 

Then anxiety took over again. 

“I hope Alexander wasn’t too distressed by the news,” he said.

“Well,” Catarina said, “He knows how you run low on magic after using it for long periods…so I don’t think the news would come as a shock to him.” 

There was silence for a moment between them. 

Then Magnus blurted out, “I found out who did this to Alexander, who tampered with the IV.”

Catarina turned to him, shocked. 

“You did? How?” she asked. “We checked all the footage…”

“It was…Deschamel,” he stated, his voice flat. “He must have done something to the surveillance cameras so that the guards missed seeing him in the room. Alexander told me.” 

Catarina’s eyes grew even wider upon hearing that. “How =--”

Magnus smiled ruefully. 

“Yea, I was just as shocked as you were, when he told me about it,” he said. “Apparently when the toxin hit the bloodstream, Deschamel interacted with Alec’s soul somehow, and revealed who wanted him dead. It was Horace Dearborn, of the Clave.”

Catarina inhaled sharply. “I’ve heard rumors about him,” she said. “He’s not exactly open to the idea of Downworlders and Nephilim working together in harmony.”

Magnus snorted. 

“That’s certainly, an understatement. From what Alexander has told me in the past, he would often run into opposition from him and a few others, every time he would go to Alicante to try to introduce his ideas on how to bring about peace,” he said.

He shook his head. “I just never thought he would resort to a straight-up assassination attempt…” he mused.

Catarina put a hand on his forearm, making him look up at her. 

“Magnus, I know you. You’re planning on doing something, aren’t you…” she stated.

He felt his eyes turn fiery red again. 

“Well, why wouldn’t I?” he stated angrily “Deschamel was paid off by Dearborn, and he nearly killed Alec!” He sat there, taking deep breaths to calm himself down. He was looking straight ahead as he spoke. “I’m not sure what my plan of action is going to be, Catarina. On one hand, I could have some choice words with Deschamel, and then try to implicate Dearborn . But then again, both of their actions are so despicable and horrendous, I just want to annihilate the both of them right where they stand….”

_Do it, do it. They both deserve it…._ The whispers in his head were faint, but they were there in the back of his head. 

HIs eyes continued to burn fiery red, and soon the only thing he could hear were those whispers, which had grown louder, until it was the only voices rushing past his ears ---

Someone had a grip on his shoulder, and was shaking him slightly.

He blinked, and refocused. It was Catarina, looking directly at him with a concerned expression in her eyes.

“I just lost you there for a moment,” she stated. Then she seemed to hesitate for a moment. 

“How are you feeling now, Magnus?” she asked carefully, with an edge to her voice. 

“I’m doing okay, about as well as expected,” Magnus stated.

Catarina fixed a stronger look upon Magnus. Magnus cowered under her gaze. 

He knew _exactly_ what she meant.

“How are you_ really _feeling? I have to say, I’m far from thrilled from the deal you made for this, and even scared to death for you,” Catarina said, her voice growing tense. She shut her eyes, putting her hand to her forehead, sighing as if attempting to ward off a headache. “However, you are the one having to deal with the ramifications of this.”

“I know,” Magnus mumbled. “There’s no exact timeline for when things might even begin.” 

He looked down at himself. 

“I mean, I look and feel fine right now…” he said. “Nothing unusual…yet.”

“But we do need to talk about it, so we can figure out how to bring you back,” Catarina asserted. “At least –"

“If that’s even possible,” Magnus interjected. “If the aftereffects are on the extreme side, it won’t be possible…” 

He trailed off, as he caught the anguished look on Catarina’s face.

Catarina’s hands clenched into fists. 

“Do not say that, Magnus Bane. Do you mean to tell me that you, out of all the warlocks out there, the son of the Prince of Demons, can’t overcome a simple side effect of some wayward magic? I refuse to believe that,” she said adamantly.

Magnus smiled wanly. 

“I don’t know, dear,” he said, sounding resigned. “This may be even a bit too much, for the likes of me and my background…”

“Well, I won’t give up. And I’m sure Alec wouldn’t either –”

“Don’t tell him,” Magnus stated.

“But _you_ will,” Catarina said. “Right?”

“I’ll have to,” Magnus said slowly, but with less conviction than he had wanted to.

“_MAGNUS_.”

Magnus winced at Catarina’s firm tone of voice.

“How am I going to tell him this? What do I tell him?” Magnus argued. “Oh, I saved your life, but what I did for you could have the potential to kill me…unless I go to Edom? And then, there may be the chance that I can never return?”

Catarina sighed heavily, and Magnus could see that her eyes were glistening. 

He reached over to put a hand on his arm. “You are so distressed, for me,” he said. “I don’t know what to say…”

Catarina waved her hand at him dismissively, while attempting to smile. 

“I’m sorry, Magnus,” she stated. “I didn’t mean to overreact like that.” She then sighed. “Let’s just drop the subject for now. After all, you aren’t feeling anything strange right now, right?”

Magnus shook his head.

“Okay, then,” she said slowly. “Perhaps we have some time before anything manifests. Let’s move onto lighter topics then…”

“Now we’re talking,” Magnus stated, breathing a sigh of relief. 

Catarina took a deep breath. 

Magnus could tell she was attempting to refocus herself, despite her inner turmoil. 

When she spoke again, and then asked, “You think you would be up for seeing Alec today or tomorrow?”

Magnus grimaced. “I still feel really out of it right now,” he said awkwardly. “I’m thinking maybe tomorrow…”

Catarina nodded. “You do seem a bit out of it. If you don’t mind, Madzie and I would want to continue staying over, at least for the next few days, to watch over you,” Catarina stated.

“As long as nothing happens that threatens the both of you,” Magnus said seriously. “You need to promise me, that if and when that happens – you two will go, okay? Because wherever I end up, I will need to ward off the place with some of my strongest spells so that things are not impacted….and no one can be around when that happens…”

“Magnus,” Catarina said, her shoulders slumping. She sounded close to crying. 

“I need to be realistic, dear,” he stated softly.

“I know,” Catarina said, sighing. 

They sat there together for a few minutes together. 

“Anyway,” Catarina asked. “You must be famished, after everything you’ve been through.”

“Well, I am a bit hungry,” he said, just as his stomach started grumbling.

Catarina tittered. 

“I can go order takeout for us. Chinese alright?” she asked.

Magnus chuckled. “When is it not?” he quipped, smiling.

Catarina nodded. “Coming right up,” she said in an affectionate tone of voice. 

She called out for Madzie, who came back into the room immediately. “Mama’s ordering dinner,” she stated. “Dumplings with noodles for you?

Madzie grinned. “My favorite!” she said. Magnus couldn’t help smiling. He loved this child…

Taking out her phone, Catarina started dialing for the restaurant.

******

“I feel so much better,” Magnus proclaimed, smiling happily, taking in another forkful of Chicken and Broccoli. 

Catarina, him, and Madzie were sitting around his bed, with a few take out cartons of Chinese food on the nightstand that she had ordered.

“And don’t forget to take a long hot bubble bath afterward,” she stated.

Magnus grinned. “

“Yes, Madzie,” he replied, giving her a cheesy salute. Madzie, her mouth full of food, smiled at him.

They continued to eat. 

………….

After dinner, they were just sitting and talking quietly, as Catarina tried to bring Magnus up to speed with other things that had been going on. 

“So,” Catarina stated, “Are you going to call Alec, at least to let him know that you’re okay?” She pursued her lips. “We got so caught up on everything else, that I think it slipped both our minds..’

“I should call him. I do want to hear his voice. I miss him so much,” Magnus said. His heart grew warm at the thought of Alec. 

Magnus took out his phone, and started scrolling through his contacts

Catarina grinned. “Should Madzie and I leave, so that you two lovebirds can talk in private?” she asked.

“It’s not necessary,” Magnus stated, “But you can, if you wish to…”

Catarina nodded, and got up from her chair. 

“C’mon, Madzie,” she said, “Let’s give Uncle Alec and Uncle Magnus their privacy, okay?”

“Okay, Mama” she said agreeably. 

She jumped down from Catarina’s lap and grabbed Catarina’s hand. She turned to Magnus. “Say hi to Uncle Alec for me,” she stated. 

Nodding with a smile, he gave them both a three fingered wave as they left the bedroom. Then he dialed Alec’s number, holding the phone close to his ear.

The phone rang once, twice, three times. 

He looked at the time. Oh it was already 9pm. Perhaps he was already asleep…

“…Mmm, hello?” a semi-sleepy voice murmured hesitantly. Then there was some stirrings on the other end. And then Alec's voice came back on, a bit stronger -- hopeful. “_M-Magnus?”_

The familiar voice, that of his boyfriend, brought a smile to his face. 

“Hey, you,” he said softly.

He heard an imperceptible sigh of relief on the other end. “It took you long enough,” Alec joked. 

Magnus heard him clear his throat. 

And then when he spoke again, Alec’s tone of voice had changed.

“I-I almost thought something happened to you…”Alec’s voice was a bit shaky, sending chills down Magnus’s spine. 

“Well,” Magnus quipped, “Something did happen though -- _to both of us._ You woke up, in the Infirmary, and I came back to the loft, where I first invoked the spell…”

“But I hadn’t heard from you for three days,” Alec said, sounding hesitant. “And somehow, there's was this odd feeling of serenity, as if I knew you were okay. _That you had made it. Yet, something was being held back, from me. And I couldn't figure out what it was, exactly --"_

Magnus heard Alec huff a breath. "To not know what became of you... You can't even imagine how crazy I felt. But, enough about me. I still have no idea how you even _managed_ to do any of this –"

“I’m really sorry about that, Alexander. I mean, about not calling you sooner, ” Magnus interjected. “I was so incredibly tired after everything that happened, I just knocked out and I was sleeping…” 

It was a white lie, but he didn’t want to bother Alec with all the details, as it would make him worry even more.

He decided to change the subject.

“Well, you sound good,” Magnus said. “I’m so glad about that…”

“It’s a miracle, actually,” Alec said, and Magnus could sense the lopsided grin on his face.

“I’m not just good. I’m _better_ than good,” Alec stated, his voice filled with wonder . “They said that there’s nothing wrong with my head, or brain – that there was no sign of the toxin at all, or even any injuries to my head. They said that with the level of injuries that I had, even if I had been able to wake up from it, that it would have take about a week for me to regain the level of consciousness that I am experiencing right now.”

“That’s wonderful, Alexander,” Magnus stated warmly.

“And this is all because of you,” Alec said softly.

Magnus smiled as he cradled the phone to his ear.

He heard Alec sigh. “I wish I could see you tonight, but I know you are probably still really depleted and need to rest,” Alec whispered into the phone.

“How long are they keeping you there?” Magnus asked.

“They said maybe 2-3 more days…” Alec replied. “They wanted to let me leave today, but they just wanted to observe me, because they still couldn’t believe how quickly I recovered ---"

“Well,,” Magnus said. “I could try to come by tomorrow. I think I will be okay by then…”

“Oh, really? That sounds great,” Alec said. HIs voice sounded really happy. It made Magnus smile. “

“Is the morning good?” Magnus asked.

“Yes, definitely,” Alec said. “I can’t wait to see you…”

“Me neither, Alexander,” Magnus said.

“I love you,” Alec breathed. 

And the way Alec said it, so reverently, yet with a hint of desperation and longing – it hit Magnus in the heart, and it made him ache.

He suddenly found it hard to breathe. Simultaneously, there was a tingling in the back of his head as well.

“You have no idea, how much I love you,” Alec murmured. “There’s nothing that could ever compare to what you did for me –”

“Darling, stop,” Magnus insisted. He blinked back tears which had suddenly formed at the corner of his eyes. “I love you too. So very much…”

“I know you’re still tired, so I will let you go for now,” Alec said huskily. “I miss you so much…”

“I miss you too,” Magnus admitted. “I’ll see you tomorrow, okay?”

“Okay. Bye, Magnus,” Alec said.

“Bye,” Magnus said, and clicked off his phone.

The tingling in the back of his head increased slightly, making him furrow his brow. He put his phone back in his pocket, and then felt the tingling in his hand. Slowly he withdrew his hand, and glanced at it.

His hand now appeared translucent, and it seemed like one could see a red pulsating glow behind -- almost…like fire? 

He blinked, and looked at his hand again.

It was gone. His hand looked normal again. The tingling sensation was also gone.

What was that? he wondered. 

What Lucifer said -- about the bad aftereffects of overexerting his magic -- came back into his mind. 

_Hmm, this couldn’t be part of it, could it?_ he wondered. 

Just then, he found himself yawning. He was getting a bit tired again. 

He happened to glanced at his hand again. No change.

_Maybe he had just imagined it._

Magnus shrugged.

“Catarina!” he called out toward the closed door.

The door opened a crack, and Catarina peeked in. 

“Everything okay, Magnus?” she asked.

“Everything’s great. I’m just getting a bit tired, so I think I’m going to go to bed,” he admitted. “Alexander is completely healed though. I’m so glad. Anyway, I decided I’m going to go visit him tomorrow...”

Catarina grinned. “I’m glad you got to talk to him,” she said softly. “But yes, I think it’s a good idea that you sleep early today. Good night, Magnus…”

She quietly closed the door.

Magnus yawned again. He lay down in bed, adjusting his pillow and making himself comfortable.

And within minutes, he was fast asleep, thinking about Alec, with a big smile on his face. He couldn’t wait to visit Alec in the Infirmary tomorrow…. 

_Meanwhile –_

Unbeknownst to him, the tingling had resumed, and his hand had started glowing again…

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 14 to come


	14. Bittersweet Reunions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Magnus is back at the loft, with his immediate priority set upon tracking down Deschamel and Dearborn, for what they did to Alec.
> 
> Meanwhile, everyone is on edge about the uncertain adverse effects of Magnus overusing his magic.
> 
> Alec and Magnus finally get to see one another in person again, but the reunion is bittersweet.

Catarina was sitting on the couch at the loft that morning, reading. 

Randomly, she happened to glance at the clock just then. 

_1030am._

Hmm...Magnus had not come out from his bedroom at all this morning. He was normally up much earlier than this, as part of his daily routine.

_Well, at least that was his routine – prior to all of this ---_

A tinge of anxiety passed through her – especially with everything that had happened thus far. 

She didn’t like the feeling – how unpredictable it all was…

Making a decision, she rose from her seat, and walked to the master bedroom. 

The door was closed. Raising her hand, she knocked twice, softly. No response.

She tried again, a bit louder.

“Magnus?” Catarina asked, putting her ear to the closed bedroom door. “How is everything? Are you okay?”

“I’m good, I just need a few more minutes. I’m in the middle of something. I almost have it – I think,” came the muffled voice from behind the door.

Catarina had no idea what Magnus was talking about. But at least he sounded awake, responsive, and coherent.

She felt much better. 

“Okay,” Catarina stated. “I happen to have breakfast ready if you want it later.”

She then felt a tug at the waist of her dress – and flinched involuntarily. She turned to see Madzie looking up at her with a concerned expression on her face. 

“Is Uncle Magnus okay?” she asked plaintively. “Ever since he came back, he’s been more quiet than usual.”

“Catarina gave Madzie a reassuring smile, as she drew her in for a hug. 

“Uncle Magnus is okay,” she said. “He’s been through a lot. He is just conversing his energy. He had used a lot of magic to help heal your uncle Alec…”

At the mention of Alec, Madzie’s eyes brightened. 

“So Uncle Alec is really okay?” she said excitedly, clapping her hand together.

Catarina nodded, grinning. “He’s better than okay,” she said. “In fact, we are going to visit him today with Uncle Magnus. What do you think about that?”

Madzie’s eyes grew wide.

“Oh my god, Mama. Really???? I can’t wait!” she said happily, “Oh, I’m so glad that Uncle Alec is well again. We weren’t so sure for while, weren’t we?”

At that, her voice had grown quite small. Catarina bent down and gave her an empathetic look.

“Right,” she said quietly. “We were all really scared for awhile. Even Mama couldn’t do anything for him. But somehow Uncle Magnus did. And Mama is all too thankful for that…”

Madzie grinned as she threw herself into Catarina’s arms. Catarina hugged her tightly. 

But she was growing increasingly worried. 

She recalled Magnus telling her how his hand had started glowing during his phone conversation to Alec last night, and how it looked like there was some kind of fire swirling behind his skin.

Whatever that was, it didn’t sound too good.

Even Magnus had not sounded too confident about things. 

_“This must be part of what happens once the magic is overextended ,” he said slowly. He didn’t’ even look at Catarina when he said that. He only sighed. “I knew what was coming. I just hopeful that it’s not too painful at the very end…”_

_Catarina looked at him, wide-eyed. _

_“Do you know what’s going to happen after this?” she asked, fearful for her friend._

_Magnus shook his head. _

_“No. As I said before, it’s all unpredictable,” he said. “It’s different for everyone, and it depends on exactly how much magic was used. It takes what you use, pretty much.” _

_He was silent for a moment, pondering. _

_Catarina looked at him carefully._

_“You’re planning on using more of it, aren’t you,” she stated._

_“You know that I need to,” he said._

_His eyes searched hers, imploring her to understand._

_She was about to reprimand him yet again, but chose to stay silent. She sighed in resignation._

_“I understand, dear friend,” she said softly. She shook her head and sighed. “I just wish that the cost to you wasn’t so high…”_

_He turned away. _

_“It is what it is, dear Catarina,” he mused. “There are just some things that need to happen.”_

……

“Mama?”

Madzie’s voice brought her back to reality. She looked down at her and smiled.

“Mama is getting a bit hungry,” Catarina said finally. “Why don’t I fix us both a snack.”

Madzie grinned. “Sounds great, Mama,” she said. 

They both left the door and walked toward the kitchen.

……………..

Meanwhile, in the bedroom, Magnus was sitting cross-legged in the bedroom in a lotus position, his hands out to his sides. 

And…he was about two feet above the bed, levitating, as he breathed in and out, with his eyes closed in deep concentration. 

And surrounded by a light purple aura.

He had been in the room for about an hour now, trying to track down Deschamel. 

Unfortunately he did not have anything of Deschamel’s to track him down with. Otherwise, he would have found him almost instantaneously.

However, tracking warlocks was a bit different than tracking other individuals. 

If you could think of their magical signature or their warlock mark, then one still had a chance of finding them, as they were unique to each warlock. 

Unfortunately, there were also ways for warlocks to block tracking as well. And once they did that, they would be nearly impossible to find.

However, the blocking only worked for a short time. And then they would need to apply a new one. So if anyone managed to get a hold of them during those times when their guard was down, then you could locate them in time, once they were hooked.

He knew Deschamel’s magical signature, so he had been trying to concentrate on that for awhile now.

And he thought he might have gotten it, but he just wasn’t sure. 

He could see him -- _faintly_ \-- in his mind, but he couldn’t figure out where he was, exactly. 

It was all a bit fuzzy right now. 

Then again, he had been careful not to use the full capacity of magic in order to do this. 

Being that he had just returned yesterday – and with what he had just gone through -- he didn’t want to run the risk of using the magic again at that capacity. 

_Who knew how that would affect him. _

As it was, the use of magic on bringing Alec back already had a detrimental effect. 

His hand was tingling, and glowing on and off. 

He already knew that things were not going to end well. 

But he was trying to buy at least a little more time, before everything really went downhill.

Which meant he would need to converse magic, and only use it when _absolutely_ necessary.

Originally he wasn’t even going to use tracking; he had attempted to contact everyone he knew to ask about Deschamel’s whereabouts. 

But no one seemed to know where he was.. 

As a last resort, he decided to try this, just using a small bit of magic.

But this was all he was able to conjure up. 

_This was frustrating him to no end._

Because – if nothing else was going to work, then he might have to use just a bit more of the magic.

And, that was something he wanted to avoid doing.

But – for now – he would continue doing this maybe for another hour or so. 

_And then – maybe, just maybe – he could get some sort of lead…_

**************************

_Infirmary_

Alec was sitting up in bed in his hospital room, surrounded by a medic, who was checking his vitals.

Standing a few feet away was his family – Isabelle and Jace, along with a smiling Maryse. 

Alec himself was smiling back at the both of them from across the room – his face a bit worn, with circles under his eyes. 

But awake, and in good health nevertheless.

For Maryse, this news was almost too good to be true. 

The last she had seen Alec, her son had still been unconscious with barely any hope. 

He had been on a ventilator, and his organs were reported to be failing. 

Then Isabelle had stopped in yesterday evening, out of breath, as if she had run at top speed from where she had been.

Maryse had been surprised to see her. 

In the next minute, they were both hugging and crying, as she learned that Alec had awakened from his coma. 

It was nothing short of a miracle.

Well, that was – _a miracle named Magnus Bane_. At least that’s what Isabelle told her.

She couldn’t believe it. 

But then again, Magnus had steadily surprised her again and again –

Even at the very start, when he had first started going out with her son. 

_Back then, she had stubbornly held onto the belief that that there was no one worse for her son, than Magnus._

_But then everything else fell apart – both her and Robert facing punishment for their involvement with the Circle, resulting in her getting deruned, and then finding out that Robert had in fact been stepping out on her with someone else – she had been forced to re-examine her entire sense of self as well as her life overall. _

_And a big part of that included her family._

_Now she needed family more than ever. _

_And so she decided to try to reach out. A scheduled family dinner, with five, had eventually turned into only her, Alec, and Magnus. She had been nervous, being that she was trying to make a good impression. _

_However, as she arrived at the door, and holding a bottle of wine, she found herself getting really nervous. _

_ She wouldn’t have blamed either Magnus or Alec if neither extended any courtesies toward her, given how she had treated either of them in the past…._

_But they were just lovely. _

_ And Magnus had ever led the conversation the entire night, making her laugh and making her feel included._

_She saw how Magnus and Alec treated one another, around her, and even when they thought she wasn’t looking._

_That night, she fell in love with both of them – and their amazing relationship that they were trying to build together._

_And then as they were at the door, saying goodbye – Magnus graciously extended a future invitation to his loft. Which brought tears to her eyes. _

_And then she spontaneously pulled him into a hug. _

_He had stiffened, but then he returned her hug with an equally warm embrace. _

_And officially welcomed him into her fold._

_Next to him, Alec, her oldest son, had beamed like none other. _

_…………_

But now, to hear that Magnus had a hand in healing Alec, in helping him to wake up –

She silently thanked the forces that be – that Magnus had come into their lives. 

Tears sprung into her eyes as she stood next to Isabelle, gazing at her son, smiling and healthy, as the medic finished his checkup of vitals and miscellaneous, for the umpteenth time. 

Then the medic smiled brightly at both of them, nodded a good-bye, and walked out of the room, leaving the family to themselves.

Immediately both Maryse and Isabelle had rushed to Alec’s side – with Isabelle standing by as Maryse threw herself into Alec’s arms, hugging him fiercely.

“My baby boy,” she cried, as tears fell hotly down her cheeks, falling upon his neck and skin as they embraced.

“Mother,” he whispered. “It’s okay. I’m okay. Thankfully. Anyway, it is so good to see you….” 

They stood like that for a long time.

Then they stepped apart, and everyone’s eyes were glistening, but with happiness.

……………

An audible gasp suddenly made all of them turn around, Alec being the last one to look up.

His eyes widened, and his heart stuttered.

In the doorway, stood Catarina, grasping the small hand of a smiling Madzie. 

And…next to them, was _MAGNUS. _

His glamour had dropped, revealing his gold cat eyes. 

And they were glistening with tears, as he stared at Alec in awe.

Alec couldn’t stop staring at Magnus. 

His breath hitched. 

Their gazes were locked upon one another.

“I hope we aren’t interrupting anything,” Catarina said gently, breaking the silence.

Isabelle was the first to respond.

“Of course not,” she said. “We are all happy to see you.” 

Her gaze immediately went straight to Magnus. 

_Especially you, Magnus_, her look seemed to say. 

“Aren’t we, Alec?” Isabelle added, nudging her brother slightly. 

Who still seemed to be spellbound, just staring at Magnus.

Magnus felt a bit self-conscious at being obviously singled out, but of course it would be that way. 

The last time Isabelle had seen him, it had been with the long hair and purple outfit – and he was heading toward a fate unknown…

Actually that last part was still true, he thought ruefully.

But, of course that didn’t need to be brought up now…

Isabelle was suddenly in front of him.

Magnus blinked, as she threw her arms around him in a tight embrace.

“Missed you so much,” she whispered in his ear. “And so glad you’re okay…”

Magnus hugged her back. 

“I’m glad to be back,” he replied softly.

He lifted his eyes, to see Alec still staring at him. HIs eyes had filled with tears.

_Me too, Alexander,_ he thought, as he gazed back at him, his heart swelling. 

Maryse, still at Alec’s bedside, had also stood up, and was making her way over to Isabelle and Magnus. 

Isabelle stepped away from Magnus, wiping her tears away with the back of her hand, and nodded at Maryse, before going over to Catarina and Madzie to exchange hugs.

“Magnus,” she stated, her face blossoming into a heartwarming smile

Magnus just looked at her, a bit dazed. 

Somehow he was still not quite used to the warm welcome, especially coming from Maryse Lightwood. 

For many years, they had been adversaries, due to the influence of the Circle. 

And then recently they had settled their differences. 

“Maryse,” he said, returning her smile with one of his own. 

She hugged him tightly. 

And then he felt her body start shaking against his. 

“Thank you. Thank you so very much for bringing Alec back to us,” she cried. “I don’t know how you did it, but you did. And I am so very thankful…”

Her sudden outburst nearly made Magnus burst into tears. 

He was already having a hard time keeping it together, upon seeing Alec – _in person _– after so long. 

And _conscious._

_The nightmare – at least for the past few months – was finally over. For Alec. _

Finally Maryse released Magnus, wiping at her eyes with her hand. She smiled at him.

“I think someone has been waiting quite patiently to see you,” she said, indicating Alec, who was currently surrounded by Catarina and Madzie. Alec was smiling as Madzie seemed to be talking to him quite animatedly.

Catarina looked up, to see Magnus looking over at them. 

She smiled at him, and then bent down to whisper something to Madzie. 

Madzie frowned for a quick second, before her face brightened into a smile.

She leaned over to kiss Alec on the cheek.

“Mama says that you and Magnus need some private time, now,” she quipped.

Alec laughed, a faint blush appearing on his cheeks. Magnus felt himself flush as well.

She hopped off the bed, her hand in Catarina’s, and they walked to where Isabelle and Maryse were. 

“We’ll see you back at home, Magnus?” Catarina asked.

Magnus hummed. “I may have a few things to take care of. But yes, eventually,” he said.

A slight frown appeared upon Catarina’s face, as if she knew what Magnus had insinuated by that. But she said nothing. 

She only nodded, and tugged at Madzie’s hand. Together, Isabelle, Maryse, Catarina, and Madzie turned to exchange smiles with one another, and then they did the same with Alec and Magnus.

Then they turned and left. 

Now it was only Magnus and Alec alone. Magnus was still standing where he was – just staring at Alec.

A moment passed.

Then Alec cleared his throat, breaking the silence.

“Are you real?” he whispered aloud. “Is that really you, Magnus?”

His voice broke toward the end. 

“You took the words right out of my mouth. Same, darling, same,” Magnus replied, just as brokenly.

Suddenly Magnus flew around the room to where Alec was, capturing his lips in a passionate kiss.

Alec clutched at Magnus, returning the kiss with equal fervor. 

“Angel, it is so good to have you here, like this,” Alec murmured into Magnus’s ear.

Then he laughed softly. “Well, you know what I mean…”

Magnus nodded, as tears fell from his eyes. He tasted the saltiness on his lips. 

“I know what you mean, “he whispered. “Those weeks that you were in the coma, and I just sat next to you, not being able to do anything – that nearly _ended_ me…”

And yes, they had consummated their passion when Magnus had managed to enter Alec’s body in that soul-state, which had led to Alec’s complete recovery –

But still, nothing compared to how it felt to hold each other in person ---

“Again, I’m sorry. So, so, very sorry…” Alec couldn’t help whispering.

And Magnus knew that the apology went much further than what he was saying. 

“I know, sayang,” he said. “And it’s okay. Believe me. There’s no lingering feelings about this, okay? I knew what I was doing…”

Alec sighed, as he pulled Magnus in for another lingering kiss. Then they parted, and Alec’s eyes roved over Magnus.

“And I was going to say, you look like your regular self,” Alec noted. “I’m really happy to see that, although I was kinda getting used to the new look…”

Magnus chuckled a bit at that.

“So…is it safe to say that you are back to normal, and hopefully you are no longer cursed?” Alec couldn’t help asking. 

Magnus bit his lip. 

A look of slight hope had come upon Alec’s face, his eyes searching Magnus’s.

How Magnus wished he could say that. To reassure him. 

_But of course he couldn’t lie to him._

Alec’s smile dropped at the seriousness on Magnus’s face.

“I’m sorry,” he said. He sighed. “I guess, I was hoping you would say something, anything – like maybe you had found a way to keep it from happening…“ 

He trailed off.

“But you haven’t, have you,” he concluded quietly.

Magnus gazed at him. 

“I wish I could say otherwise, my love,” he said softly. “But I can’t.”

The tension and the sadness lingered in the air between them.

Alec sighed. “I know,” he said, almost inaudibly. 

His hands clenched into tight fists, as the realization washed over him. 

Next to him, the heart monitor started beeping, indicating that his heart rate and BP had gone up.

“Alexander,” Magnus admonished, placing a hand against Alec’s face. Alec instinctively leaned into it, closing his eyes. “Please, you need to calm down, saying. This isn’t good for you. You are still recovering…”

Alec nodded curtly, as he attempted to take a few deep breaths.

His heartbeat visibly went down. 

And he did feel a bit more relaxed. 

But nothing stopped the slow tearing of his heart.

HIs eyes still closed, he asked, his voice tight, “So, what now? How much longer do you have left?”

_There it was – the elephant in the room. _

Magnus closed his eyes, feeling a sharp pang of pain in his heart.

“I don’t know,” he said truthfully. “If I am really careful, and don’t use the magic too much – then the progression may be slow. Well, I’m hoping for that at least. But again, there’s no way we know for sure.”

Magnus had looked away as he finished his statement. 

The weight of all of this was suddenly upon his heart, as if it was too much to bear.

He gasped, as his heart lurched.

It was inevitable. 

_They weren’t going to have a happy ending – him and Alec._

He had known this ever since he first learned he was cursed.

But it didn’t make it any easier to know this – time had done nothing to alleviate it. 

It was devastating.

Magnus heard someone sniffle – and then realized it had come from himself.

He heard Alec’s sharp intake of breath.

“Magnus,” he said in a resolute tone of voice. 

But Magnus could hear the tinge of desperation in his voice.

Slowly, Magnus turned back to face him. 

Alec’s hazel eyes were searching his face imploringly.

“Come back to me, my love,” Alec begged. “_Please._ If our time is truly limited, then we need to cherish every moment. Not that we don’t already do that, but we just need to keep our communication open. To know what is in each other’s hearts.” 

Magnus was silent, as he let the words sink in.

“Do you think…you can do that – for us?” Alec asked softly.

He reached out with his hand to touch Magnus’s cheek. 

Magnus slowly felt his whole mind, body, and soul give way, upon feeling the gentleness of Alec’s touch.

He slowly shook his head, smiling through his tears.

“I promise I’ll try. Anyway, I could never deny you love,” he whispered, gazing at him. “Not before, and certainly not now…”

Alec’s face suddenly twisted into a complicated expression. 

“That’s...why we are in the situation that we are in – isn’t it,” he whispered, his voice sounding anguished. Tears slipped out of his eyes. “_God, Magnus. I’ve made so many mistakes - ”_

“Stop,” Magnus insisted, putting a finger to his lips, even as tears were streaming down his own face “Don’t. Please. I didn’t mean to remind you about all of that. As you’ve said, we cannot dwell on certain things – it is what it is.”

Alec had started to sniffle more, in earnest. 

“I ruined this for myself. For us,” he breathed, brokenly.

“Never say that. Please don’t cry. You’re going to make me cry even harder,” Magnus urged. 

He didn’t know what else to say. His heart was being torn open, and it hurt. 

So badly…

He did the only thing he could think of. 

He flung himself into Alec’s arms, burying his head into his shoulder, inhaling Alec’s wonderful, familiar scent. 

_Home._

And he felt Alec stiffen, and his body tremble, in an attempt to control the tears. Then slowly he huffed a breath. Then a deep sigh. His arms came around to envelop Magnus in an embrace. The arms that Magnus had missed having around him – and the feelings it evoked within him.

“I love you, Magnus,” he heard Alec whisper, ending with a choked sob.

_Lillith_…that made him break – _inside_…

“I-I love you too, Alexander,” Magnus whispered, choking up.

He closed his eyes, while relishing the warmth and security of Alec’s arms. And they just remained there like that, reveling in each other’s love ---

Silently acknowledging the inevitability of things –

And the futility of a forever, that most likely would never be.

But neither of them could voice it out. _Or rather, didn’t want to voice it out._

If they did – then it would be all too real. 

_Even if they both knew that what that reality was._

_……………._

Magnus didn’t know how long they stayed like that, in each other’s desperate embrace. Then he thought he heard something.

“You’re it for me, you know…” came Alec’s muffled voice. “You know that?”

At first Magnus had thought he’d only imagined Alec saying those words. He remained silent.

And then…Alec said it again. But this time, a bit more tentatively. And he felt Alec stiffen slightly .

_As if recoiling slightly –_

Magnus pulled away slightly, to look at Alec. 

Now his hazel eyes had a look of extreme anguish.

And then Magnus knew – Alec had meant it. _But still_ –

“You didn’t just say what I thought you said…did you?” Magnus wondered aloud.

The expression in Alec’s eyes didn’t falter. “I meant it,” he said slowly. “But you didn’t react. And then I wasn’t sure if you had heard. Or…if you felt _put off_ by it…”

He trailed off, looking down as he bit his lip.

Magnus inhaled sharply. 

“Alexander,” he said, trying to keep his voice from trembling too much. “You can’t say such things. You need to move on. You can’t say this.”

Alec lifted his head to look at Magnus, his hazel eyes shining with tears. 

“But how can I not?” he asked in desperation. “Nephilim love once, Magnus. _Once_. How do I get over you? I can’t. _And I won’t_.”

Alec’s lips were pressed into a fine line. 

Man, was he stubborn, Magnus thought, with a tinge of amusement. He chuckled slightly, despite the feeling in his heart.

"And, no I'm not put off by what you said," Magnus said gently, taking his hands and carding it through Alec's hair, while gazing into his eyes. 

He smiled. 

"What do you think I told you right before the spell solidified our soul-selves?" he said, "I said '**_Aku Cinta Kamu Selamanya_**' -- which means, I love you forever." 

He swallowed hard.

"Because I do," Magnus whispered. “And I always will.”

At that, Alec's already glistening hazel eyes widened, before the softest expression settled in. And his eyes fluttered.

"Alexander?" Magnus asked, puzzled at Alec's reaction. "What is it? Are you alright?" 

Slowly, Alec turned to face him, with the same soft look in his eyes. 

"You know, I didn't exactly understand what you said to me at the time... But somehow I was able to feel what you said," Alec said huskily. "it was almost like my whole heart and soul just burst wide open when you said that to me, and it was the most incredible feeling."

A light blush spread across his cheeks.

"And then we **_connected_** \--and I couldn't even begin to describe it. I felt like we were _truly _one, in every sense of the word..."

At that moment, Alec leaned in to cup Magnus's face, and the intense way he gazed into his eyes took Magnus's breath away. 

"You are everything to me," he whispered. “Mine.”

“As are you,” Magnus said ardently.

They both leaned in, foreheads touching, fingers laced together.

And at that moment, it seemed like both of them were completely in sync. Even their breathing was at the same pace, as if they were both drawing upon one another’s energies to exist –

They seemed to remain in this position for what seemed like an eternity. 

Magnus felt so safe, so cared for, right here with Alec – that he felt like he never wanted to leave this moment…

He found himself listening to Alec's steady breathing, and reveled in the warm breath against his neck -- and just felt so incredibly grateful to be able to hold Alec in person again...

“Marry me,” he thought he heard Alec murmur in his ear.

_What? _Magnus pulled away slightly, looking up at him, wide-eyed. 

He was rendered mute at that moment.

_There was no way that he’d heard that correctly…_

Alec fixed his gaze onto Magnus. 

His hazel eyes burned fiercely, without any pretense. 

“I meant what I said,” he said firmly. “Marry me.”

Magnus balked. _Alec was serious…_

“Please, you don't have to do this, Alexander,” he pleaded half-heartedly, as his brain was screaming. “it's one thing to say we will love each other forever. There's no need for you to feel like you _need_ to do this. _It's okay, Alexander –_”

Alec appeared unperturbed, as he folded his arms against his chest. 

“Well, _I’m_ the one asking. I think I can decide who and when I want this to happen,” Alec huffed, stubbornly.

“Don’t you think this will make the whole situation just that much harder for the both of us – especially when things don’t work out?” Magnus argued. 

Right now his mind and heart were full of turmoil.

Part of him was screaming – for joy. Never did he ever think he would ever be proposed to – no one had ever wanted him like that.

And yet, this longevity of this love was futile. So any type of formality almost seemed _pointless._

And yet – this was Alec. _And that made all the difference._

Alec, who was different than any one he had come across, in all his 400+ years of life.

Alec, who knew about his past – transgressions and all – not to mention about his being the son of Asmodeus.

Who was now asking him – to be his – _forever._ Well, in this case it would be more symbolic than anything else.

_But even so…_

He gazed upon Alec, who had the most anxious yet endearing look upon his handsome face.

_And all the objections on the tip of his tongue just melted away..._

“I am still so not sure about your reason for asking me, Alexander,” Magnus stated slowly. “But at the risk of seeming impulsive, you have to know that my answer will _always_ be a yes, no matter what happens.”

Alec’s face suddenly brightened with a brilliant smile that could rival the sun.

“…Really?” he asked, sounding surprised. And delighted.

Magnus smiled, sighing in resignation. But he was happy though.

“Yes, I will marry you, Alexander,” he said ardently. “There’s no one else whom I could imagine belonging to, for better or for worse, until the end of days.”

And the tenderness of the moment hit him so hard, it nearly made him want to cry.

So he leaned in and kissed Alec instead. 

This proved to be the right move to make, as Alec’s passionate response nearly knocked him off his feet, and he moaned as Alec’s fingers gently carded through his hair, pulling slightly at the scalp as he drew him closer

_Wow, so I’m engaged,_ Magnus thought faintly,-- his eyes falling closed, savoring the sensations and the emotions that poured through at the moment.

It was incredibly poignant and thrilling --

_And unfortunately unfolding like some ill-fated tragedy._

_……………………….._

“So the medics were saying I could be discharged tomorrow morning,” Alec said. 

That had originally been the big news he was going to tell Magnus. 

_Well, before a spontaneous moment – on his part -- just totally overtook that._

Right now, he couldn’t keep the big smile off his face. 

He had asked Magnus to marry him. And Magnus had said yes!

Of course he was aware of their reality – and just thinking about it was more than he could bear ..but that just proved to him that they had to cherish every moment they had together…

He made a mental note to ask his mother for the family ring tomorrow, so that he could present it to him formally.

“Oh, that’s wonderful you get to be discharged tomorrow!” Magnus stated. “I bet everyone was really happy to hear that.”

“They were,” Alec said, smiling. “But there’s only one place I want to be – and that is with you.” He laced their fingers together, and he brought it to his lips, nuzzling them – which made Magnus shiver. “After all, I believe a celebration is in order, and especially with the love of life, who just happens to be my new fiancé--"

Magnus hesitated. 

He was still focused upon trying to locate Deschamel and Dearborn – and he had felt as if he was getting closer to it. 

He probably just needed a few more hours tonight to locate him. And then if all went well, he was going to portal there immediately, to finish the job once and for all…

“There may be something important that I need to attend to in the morning,” Magnus said, with a note of regret. “But then I’m _all_ yours.”

“Oh?” Alec sounded disappointed. “Oh, okay. I can always have Isabelle and my mom pick me up. But send a fire message or call me once you are back, okay?”

“That sounds perfect, darling,” Magnus said. Then his eyes darkened. “You best tell everyone you won’t be available tomorrow evening," he said in a lascivious tone of voice. And perhaps you should even clear the next day. Your fiancé going to take such good care of you –”

Magnus saw his fiancé’s hazel eyes darken, as he licked his lips.

_Oh, Magnus liked that very much…_

“I can’t wait to have my way with you, fiancé, so we can celebrate properly,” Alec stated huskily, his eyes roving over Magnus in an overt type of way..

Magnus giggled. He loved it when Alec got this way…

Yea, the evening would certainly be momentous, in more ways than one --

And it would be even more wonderful, if he could also bring news that Deschamel and Dearborn were dealt with _– and no longer a threat to Alec._

As it was, Magnus was very concerned, since they had both obviously plotted to kill him –

What would happen if they heard Alec had made a miraculous recovery? Would they then plot to kill him again, or employ different methods to do so? 

Magnus wasn’t sure if there would be a favorable outcome _next_ time. 

Anyway, as long as Magnus was alive, a second attempt would never come to pass. 

He would make sure of it.

And now, he needed to return to the loft, so that he could continue to search for Deschamel.

_There wasn't a moment to waste._

********

An hour later, Magnus kissed Alec goodbye -- 

For about the _fourth_ time, as Alec had not wanted Magnus to end this visit just yet.

So Alec would then give him the most lethal hazel puppy dog eye look --making Magnus completely weak in the knees, and then he would lose his resolve to leave his room.

"Alexander!" Magnus squealed, even as Alec tried his best to reach for him. "I really need to go now..."

He really did. He had to go back to his loft and continue meditating in order to locate Deschamel... 

Alec pouted just then, and Magnus's stomach did a flip flop.

"_Alexander_," Magnus said on mock exasperation.

"Okay, okay, I'm sorry. I know you need to get going," Alec teased affectionately. "Just one more, okay?

Two lingering kisses later, a very light-headed and happy Magnus managed to leave the room, thoughts of Alec in his head.

Now he could go back to the loft, and resume what he needed to do...

As this thought crossed his mind, suddenly he felt warm all over -- and not in a good way. Actually he stated to feel sick to his stomach.

Magnus stumbled, falling to his knees, out of breath. As a tingling sensation stared burning – no, searing – through his hands ---

And a flash of the worst pain Magnus had ever felt, surged toward his head – making him HOWL ---

And then – His eyes suddenly flew open, with all pain miraculously gone.

Distractedly, Magnus looked down at his hands and arms, which were both now translucent, but glowing slightly. It looked like there was raging fires burning underneath the skin.

But that was not what was occupying his thoughts right now.

_DESCHAMEL._

He shuddered, as his brain formed a clear image of the green skinned warlock, with violet eyes, and long white hair ---

And that revulsion quickly snapped into anger. 

But a smile slowly crept across Magnus’s face.

_He knew exactly where he was._ A vision had popped up into his head And as a bonus, his vision had included Dearborn. 

They were_ together. _

It was almost_ – too perfect. _But hey, who was he to turn down an opportune situation, right?

_So…his magic had somehow initiated things on its own? _

Well, well, well...What do you know, Magnus thought wryly, as his eyes narrowed, and he smiled wider. A smile of anticipated vengeance.

_His eyes clicked, flames instead of gold cat eyes blazing with intensity..._

Guess this thing was going to end way sooner than anyone expected.

_They weren't going to know what hit them._

******

It didn't occur to Magnus right then -- _already drunk with thoughts of vengeance_ \-- that he had already lost control of the magic he had so valiantly attempted to converse...

_...but at that moment, he couldn't have cared less._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> CH 15 to come


	15. Retribution by Fire

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Magnus confronts Deschamel and Dearborn. 
> 
> The effects resulting from overextending his magic start to manifest -- affecting things around him...

_Deschamel and Dearborn._

Magnus couldn’t get those two out of his head.

Actually, he literally could not get them out of his head. Ever since his magic had located them about a few hours ago, now somehow he was able to track their every move since then –

Which is why he hadn’t made a move, yet.

And was just watching this play out like some kind of sitcom.

Well, it was going to end up a revenge thriller, if he had anything to say about it…

He continued to watch the scene --

The two were just going about their business – it was actually quite boring since there was nothing happening except their walking around this big house.

_And then –_

Dearborn seemed to be picking up his phone – perhaps he had gotten a call? And was talking to someone on the other line. 

But now…his expression completely shifted from nonchalance – to fury, with eyes bugging out.

A few minutes later, he had thrown the phone across the wall, anger evident in his features.

_Sheesh,_ Magnus thought, disgusted. 

Now Dearborn was shouting. Shouting. The vein in his temple was throbbing, badly. 

And now Deschamel came into the room, an inquisitive look upon his face.

Which completely changed, as his eyes widened.

It appeared to be in response to what Dearborn was saying…Magnus squinted to see if he could decipher what they were arguing about --

_“…Alec Lightwood…” _

Ahh…of course. Of course, news would travel fast. 

_Which meant, this was now the time to act --_

Magnus suddenly felt warmth in his hands, and he looked down. His hands were translucent again, with fire visibly raging beneath his skin.

Now purple smoke had appeared at his feet, rising steadily _upward_ –

His brain registered. He was being transported – yet again. Spontaneously._Without a portal._

And…his magic was being overextended, _yet again._

_OH NO…_

A sense of dread suddenly overwhelmed him – he knew that this was bad. _Really bad…_

Ah well, he thought in resignation. _This must be what it wants me to do. _

_The magic was leading him straight to Deschamel and Dearborn._ Which was what he wanted.

Again, the smile of vengeance creeped upon Magnus’s face, and his eyes clicked, turning fiery red. All other thoughts suddenly vanished.

_So be it,_ Magnus thought, as he watched himself being swallowed up by the smoke.

*****************

_Moments later…_

Magnus had arrived in the hallway of a large house. A few feet away, he could hear two people talking. He stealthily made his way to the room. His insides flared up as he saw both Deschamel and Dearborn, sitting at a table, talking. 

Dearborn was visibly angry, while Deschamel had an impassive look upon his face.

“What do you mean, we failed?” Dearborn asked. “I thought you said he was as good as dead!”

Magnus’s eyes narrowed, as his eyes flicked into flames. _What a despicable man…_

“And he was,” Deschamel said coolly. “I did everything that you asked. In fact, I traveled inside his conscience, and personally witnessed his soul choke upon the toxin. He was suffocating, and pretty much dropped in front of me.”

“So, what’s this I hear about Lightwood having a full recovery?” Dearborn roared. “He was supposed to be out of the way already!”

Deschamel shrugged. “I have no clue,” he said, sounding bored as he idly looked at his nails. “When I emerged from his body, he was spitting up blood, having seizures, and blood was even coming out from his eyes. He was as good as dead! I even stayed there until I heard footsteps approaching. That’s when I left. But he was going downhill, fast..”

Oh, Magnus had heard enough. He was practically seething. There was white heat behind his eyes, an immense pressure that kept building, and his arms were growing warmer by the minute. He wanted to scream but managed to keep it in. He gritted his teeth, taking deep breaths.

Slowly, everything dissipated. 

_Thank goodness…_

Straightening up his shoulders, Magnus muttered an incantation under his breath.

Then he walked into the doorway. No one appeared to hear his approach.

He cleared his throat.

“Deschamel.” Magnus’s voice boomed, a lot louder than he had intended, even startling himself. Well, he thought ruefully, so much for a quiet approach. 

He saw Deschamel’s head snap around, in surprise, his violet colored eyes wide open with shock. Dearborn’s eyes had widened as well, with a scowl emerging upon his face.

“Magnus,” he said weakly. “I..I didn’t hear you approach.” 

“What is he doing here?” Dearborn asked. “I thought you had warded my home so that no one could come in. Or that no one could find us…”

Deschamel frowned, as if trying to figure out exactly how Magnus had located them.

Magnus shrugged.

“Let’s just call this an unexpected visit,” he said stoically. 

The two warlocks stared at one another, as an uncomfortable silence filled the room.

“What is the meaning of this! I don’t know of what drivel you speak, warlock!” Dearborn snarled. 

And suddenly, with a blink of Magnus’s eye, Dearborn’s mouth was bound together. He looked stunned, as he found himself unable to move his mouth or even speak.

From the looks of things he was probably protesting or whimpering right now, but apparently his voice had been stifled as well.

Magnus turned to assess him coolly. “You are so insufferable,” he said sarcastically. “Take a seat, and please let the adults speak, now.”

Magnus lifted a finger, and suddenly flares of purple magic were swirling toward Dearborn, who was looking around frantically. Then Dearborn was being pushed, as he backed up until he reached a chair, and his backside plopped into it, the purple magic surrounding his torso. 

He was unable to move, or to speak.

Magnus smiled at that, and then turned to address Deschamel.

Magnus decided to get straight to the point. 

“So, both of you planned on killing Alexander, huh,” he said stoically. He folded his arms across his chest.

“Hey, listen,” Deschamel said, appearing to cower. “This was all Dearborn’s plan, with what was done to the Head of the New York Institute. It’s more than him, it’s a few of them at the Clave. They’ve got a set plan of the New York Institute. I didn’t even know that was your boyfriend until a few days ago, when I overhear him talking with some cronies. Otherwise I wouldn’t have done it…”

Deschanel’s hands suddenly flew to his mouth, as if he couldn’t believe what he was saying.

In the chair, Dearborn was staring at the both of them, his mouth twisted in an angry snarl.

Deschamel’s violet eyes suddenly narrowed, and he was looking at Magnus incredulously.

“Wait, what am I saying?” he asked, more to himself than anyone else. “What did you do to me?”

Magnus hummed. “Just a simple truth spell,” he said easily.

Deschamel looked _stunned. _

“I set a spell in place, that could detect foreign magic in this whole place,” he said slowly. “How were you able to overcome that?”

A smile tugged at Magnus’s lips. “I have my ways,” he said smugly.

And then his hands started getting warm again. He looked down. 

The maelstrom of fire beneath his skin had started again, and it was a bit brighter than before.

And Deschamel’s eyes flew straight to his arms. Even Dearborn was now staring, a look of fear replacing the look of revulsion, Magnus noted with some satisfaction.

“Lillith,” Deschamel breathed, gulping visibly. “What’s up with that?” 

He indicated Magnus’s arms.

Magnus waved it away diffidently with a shake of his head. “Nothing that concerns either of you,” he said cryptically. 

Then he paused. “Weeeeelll,” he added, “At least, not right now, anyway…” he stated, with a short laugh.

He trailed off, for the words to make its impact upon Deschamel and Dearborn.

And it did the trick, as Dearborn flinched, his face whitening as he slumped further in his seat.

Deschamel paled just then, and he appeared to stumble, taking a few steps back.

Magnus folded his arms, fixing Deschamel with a cold gaze. 

Deschamel appeared to cower further. 

“He was tracking what I was doing, Dearborn,” Deschamel said hastily, lowering his voice, as he pointed to Dearborn. 

Dearborn just glared at him. 

But Deschamel just kept speaking.. 

“You know, I’m the one who gave your boyfriend information on who was out to get him,” he added in a more desperate tone of voice. “You wouldn’t’ even know if it wasn’t’ for me…” 

He trailed off, as Magnus felt a click in his eyes, and more heat rose to the surface.

Magnus was pissed right now.

“Well, yea,” Magnus countered. “You told him that, only after you had infiltrated that IV with the poison, and he was being overcome by it. Like he wouldn’t _live_ to tell the tale….”

Deschamel winced, but said nothing.

Magnus nodded curtly. “I thought so,” he said. His eyes clicked, and he felt even more warmth surging through his body.

At this point, Deschamel was cowering like a trapped animal, his eyes wide.

“Magnus,” he breathed, his eyes fixated upon the glowing maelstrom visible beneath Magnus’s arms. 

“I need something on the record,” Magnus intoned coolly, his eyes fixed upon Deschamel. “And then I _might_ consider sparing your life…”

Deschamel was staring at Magnus as if he was very, very afraid.

“W-What do you want?” he asked.

“I want you to confess to being involved with the planning of the assassination of the Head of the New York Institute Alexander Lightwood, and I want all involved parties named in the confession,” Magnus said. “And not only that you facilitated the spells necessary to carry this out, but that you broke into the Infirmary in order to carry this out.”

Deschamel blanched. “I will be placed in the lower levels of the Spiral Labyrinth for this,” he said. “I will never see the light of day again!”

“Is being dead better?” Magnus asked. And Deschamel blanched yet again.

“You’re bluffing,” Deschamel stated, a tinge of arrogance returning in this voice.

Magnus shrugged. “I’m really not,” he said confidently. “Actually you would be both dead via my magic, I can easily snuff out your life in an instant with my magic, along with a confession that you decided to end your own life. And I can design it so no one can track whatever happened.”

Upon saying this, Magnus’s eyes had clicked several times, and they were practically flaming at this point, along with making his voice more ominous and darker.

Deschamel was staring at Magnus as if he didn’t recognize him.

“You’re not kidding,” he realized slowly. Now his voice held a tinge of fear. “You would actually go through with this.”

“Both of you conspired to kill my fiancé,” Magnus declared. “The mate of a Prince of Hell. No one gets away with that. NO ONE.”

And Deschamel winced, as his hands flew to his throat. His eyes widened, as he started to choke.

“_S-Stop it! I c-can’t breathe_!” Deschamel sputtered.

“What are you talking about?” Magnus inquired innocently. “I’m not doing anything….” He started to whistle, as he folded his hands to his chest, leaning against the wall.

By this time, Deschamel had already fallen to the floor, his hands still at this throat.

“Okay, *cough* Okay!!!” Deschamel managed to get out. “Just stop this!”

Magnus continued to stare impassively for a few more seconds, and then lazily flicked a wrist.

Suddenly Deschamel collapsed on the floor where he was. And his chest was heaving. Deeply, while trying to catch his breath.

“It could have been worse for both of you, Deschamel,” Magnus said, looking at him. “My magic could have decided to burn you alive where you stood…”

At that, Deschamel quickly jumped up. “Well, there’s no need for that, Magnus. Seriously,” he said hastily, holding his hand up as a sign of supplication.

“Okay. So you will do what I asked you to do?” Magnus asked.

“Yes, yes, anything,” Deschamel said. At that, Magnus smiled slowly. That was exactly what he wanted to hear.

He walked to a chair and sat down in it. Deschamel remained where he was standing.

“Okay, you may begin,” Magnus said. He said an incantation under his breath, which would record the statement that Deschamel made, along with binding Deschamel with a truth spell. 

Deschamel suddenly froze, and his eyes glazed over. His mouth then opened, as he began to speak.

“My name is Deschamel, a warlock of the Spiral Labyrinth. I have betrayed the Accords, in conjunction with Clave member Horace Dearborn, in the plotting and actions involving the assassination of Alexander Lightwood. We had a plan where I would break into the infirmary at the New York Institute, gain access to Mr. Lightwood’s room, and infiltrate his IV medications with a toxic substance designed to make his organs deteriorate within a short time. This plan was orchestrated by Clave member Horace Dearborn due to his opposition to the plans of the New York Institute in establishing a Downworld Council and for his personal distaste of non-Nephilim traditions being upheld by the current Head of the New York Institute. And, I, Deschamel, voluntarily took financial compensation in order to help carry this through,” Deschamel said tonelessly.

There was silence in the room following this statement.

“Anything else?” Magnus asked in an insinuating tone of voice.

Deschamel just continuing to stare in front of him, blankly.

“What happened?” Magnus taunted. “Got nothing more to say? Cat got your tongue?”

And suddenly, Deschamel’s mouth was wired shut. Magnus flinched in surprise. He hadn’t expected that to happen – just like that. 

However, Deschamel completely _flipped. _

He looked completely floored. His eyes started bugging out of his head, and he made whimpering noises, as his hands fluttered, moving to his mouth in panicky gestures.

Magnus hummed. 

“Looks like the judgment has been delivered from a higher calling,” he observed in a sardonic tone of voice.”

Deschamel stopped whimpering, and just remained silent. HIs eyes, still wide with shock, appeared to glisten.

“Okay I think I’m done with both of you, for now,” Magnus stated, getting up from his seat. “Hell has a special place for all of you when the time comes…” 

And as he made his statement, suddenly Deschamel was struggling, and attempting to scream but no sound coming forth. His hands flew to his neck. A red line, now glowing like fire, had appeared on his neck, and was starting to travel around his neck. 

“You are now both marked,” Magnus stated.

The mark of the cursed – an Edomic noose around his neck. Only visible to entities with the power possessed by himself and his father.

Deschamel just about collapsed yet again.

Magnus just stood there, witnessing this without any emotion.

Magnus’s smile of vengeance returned full force. 

Horace Dearborn was now visibly agitated, his forehead sweating, as Magnus had placed the masks on both individuals at the same time.

“Time for both of you to go to your rightful places,” Magnus mused. Then he paused. 

“Oh, right, your memories,” he said. “I need them. I need to send them along with you as further evidence.

That seemed to make Deschamel more alert. 

His eyes grew even more fearful, as Magnus slowly advanced upon him. He put his arms forth, as his hands touched the sides of Deschamel’s temples. Both their eyes rolled back simultaneously, their bodies shaking slightly.

Once it was finished, Magnus muttered an incantation. Boy, that had taken quite a bit out of him.

He idly glanced at his hand – the flames beneath his skin were more visible now than they were this morning. And now there were slight sparks crackling at his fingertips.

_Not good news._

But he had to see this to the very end.

It was now Dearborn's turn.

As Magnus approached him, Dearborn had a panicked look upon his face, and craned his neck as far away as he could. However, Magnus firmly cupped his chin with his hand and forced him to look at him. 

Dearborn froze.

Ah so much better to work with, Magnus thought, as he went ahead, and placed his hands on each side of Dearborn’s head. Then when it was finished, he muttered the same incantation. 

Both Deschamel and Dearborn wore similar expressions on their faces, slackjawed and unfocused.

“Deschamel, when you arrive at the Spiral Labyrinth, you will confess to the plot,” Magnus commanded in an ominous tone of voice. “And when they scan you, they will pick up on the external record of memories and your recorded confession. You will also forget everything that I said, or anything involving me in this. Only to say that your guilt made you decide to confess. I also have bound Dearborn’s fate similar to yours, to be judged by the Gard once the Clave puts him to the Sword. For him, I have recorded your confession, and a set of his memories on this card, that I am going to put in his pocket.”

Deschamel nodded blankly.

Magnus held up a clear rectangular card. It was the size of a credit card, and it was glowing with purple magic. 

He cupped Dearborn by the chin again, forcefully.

The man’s gaze suddenly became focused upon Magnus. There was_ fear_ in them.

“You will confess your crimes to the Consul. Then you will hand over this card in your pocket over to them,” Magnus commanded darkly.

Dearborn gave a short nod, before his gaze became unfocused again.

Magnus stared at the both of them silently, until the vein in his temple started to throb. And simultaneously a flash of pain also hit the back of his skull. _OW!_

He blinked, momentarily disoriented. 

Where was he, again? Slowly he refocused his mind – oh, right, Deschamel and Dearborn. He again felt immensely relieved that he was able to capture both of them…

But, he had already given them too much of his time. 

It was time for Magnus to deliver them to their ultimate fate…

“Now get out of my sight. It’s making me angrier by the minute, having you both here,” Magnus said darkly, feeling his blood boil. 

He blinked again, as he suddenly felt oddly lightheaded, as his anger consumed him. 

Faintly it registered that he had raised his arms, each pointing directly at each individual. The magic was swirling within his body like crazy. Incidentally he also noticed that his arms were now glowing even more fiercely than before.

_He needed to create portals for each of them, and send them through…_

Suddenly fire _– not purple magic, but fire_ \-- burst out _uncontrollably_ from his hands – and with so much force, that he was thrown _backwards._

He landed on the floor, sitting on his backside, the wind knocked out from him.

It took him awhile to focus himself, yet again – and then he managed to look up.

Deschamel and Dearborn were no longer in the room.

Rather, there were what seemed like burnt marks -- both on the chair where Dearborn was sitting, and where Deschamel had been standing, just a moment ago.

_Shit,_ Magnus thought, his eyes widening. 

What had he done to them? Did he…manage to send them to their rightful places?

_Or did he…kill them?_

_That was not his intention!_

He wanted just punishment for the both of them. 

But he seriously did not know what happened just now. 

_And shit, he had the biggest headache ever…such a killer headache…_

He crouched over, holding his head with his hands. It hurt so damn badly…

All he wanted was to go home now and rest…and then have Alexander come over…

The tingly sensation had already begun as he was internalizing wanting to go home, and the magic had already started to activate…

But…something was wrong. _The pain was getting worse!_

_And he suddenly felt like he was burning from the inside out --!_

By the time he had gotten to thinking about Alec, he himself had disappeared from that room…

_The room was now eerily empty, as if no one had been there at all in the first place._

_*******************_

_The next day, mid-morning…at the loft_

Magnus awoke with a start, so violently that he had felt his whole body shudder. 

Bleary eyed, he looked around. He was sprawled on his stomach, surrounded by gold silk sheets, and the unmistaken scent of sandalwood around him ---

_Lilith, he was back home? _

…_had he even remembered how he got back? Or when he ended up crawling in his own bed?_

No, he didn’t. There seemed to be this hole in his memory right now…_Hmm._

His phone, which was on the bedside – and had he remembered to take it out – started ringing like crazy.

He reached out with one hand – and the phone flew into his hand, sparks wildly flickering from his fingertips –

His skin still translucent, glowing with fire beneath the surface –

And he still had a crazy headache that just wouldn’t go away---

He glanced at the display.

** _Alexander._ **

_Oh, right, Alec was going to be discharged from the hospital today!_

He clicked the “Accept” button, and brought the phone to his ear. Despite the pain in his head, he managed a smile on his face, even as if he shut this eyes tightly.

“M-Magnus?” Alec’s hesitant voice came on the line.

Magnus smiled softly into the phone. “Hey, you,” he said softly.

“Hey, yourself,” Alec said softly, his voice more certain when he heard Magnus’s response. “Well, my sister and my mom just arrived. So I should be discharged within the hour.

“That’s so awesome,” Magnus said. 

A comfortable silence developed between them.

“So,” Magnus joked, “Is my awesome fiancé ready to leave the hospital? 

A happy sigh came from the other end. 

“Don’t you know it,” he replied.

Then Alec took a deep breath, exhaling what sounded like a happy sigh.

“Man, it feels great to hear you call me that,” Alec murmured. “It just _feels_ right.”

“That it does,” Magnus said agreeably.

“Wait until everyone hears about this!” Alec said excitedly. 

Magnus inhaled sharply. “You’re really going to tell everyone?” he asked.

“Of course!” Alec said enthusiastically. “I want everyone to know. This is the best thing that’s ever happened in my life!”

Wow, Magnus thought, What had he done, to deserve such an amazing man such as Alexander Lightwood?

Tears sprung into his eyes. 

Just as another flash of pain hit his head. _And he nearly blacked out right there…_

_…but then he came back to consciousness again…_

“…man, this discharge process is sure tedious. So many forms to fill out..” Alec was saying.

Magnus blinked. 

_Damn, he could hardly focus_. And his head still throbbed slightly. 

He realized that his hand was still holding the phone, but he was clutching in a death grip. 

_And…was it smoking???_

He peered at it closely._ Lillith, the sides of the phone were almost melted. Shit --!_

_Actually the air smelled like smoke and ashes – uh ---_

_He dared to glance around him. And his gold cat eyes blazed with horror –_

“SHIT!” he yelled, jumping up, his heart beating in his chest.

_HE HAD BURNED THE SHEETS THAT HE WAS CURRENTLY LYING ON!!_

_OH WHAT THE FUCK ---_

They were a mix of burnt silk fibers ,and now there was a large gaping hole where he had been lying on.

“…Magnus! Magnus!” he could hear Alec yelling frantically into the phone. “What happened? Are you alright?”

He slowly sat up in bed, just staring blankly at the bed, and then at himself.

Strangely, he wasn’t burned at all. Only the things around him…

He looked down at his hand, still holding the ruined phone, with Alec’s voice asking if he was okay. 

_No, Alexander,_ Magnus thought. _I’m not okay. I’ll never be okay again…_

He swallowed hard, and attempted to retain his composure.

This was it, wasn’t it, he thought sadly, as the sickening realization swept through his mind.

_I can never see him again, can I?_ he thought, as tears sprung to his eyes. Not with the way his magic was reacting now…

He would be too afraid of accidentally hurting Alec.

Memories of the proposal went through his mind. It was the happiest moment of his entire existence.

_Not everyone got even that, did they?_ he thought, wiping his eyes with the back of his hand.

His hand trembling – aglow with fire, sparks and all – he brought the phone to his ear.

“..I’m okay, Alexander,” Magnus whispered. “J-Just a dizzy spell.”

“Angel,” Alec breathed. 

Magnus swallowed hard. 

The anxiety was palpable in his voice.

_This was exactly what Alec didn’t need, someone to be this much of a burden to him…_

“I’m okay, though,” Magnus said.

There was silence on the other line. Then –

“Is this part of the side effects you were mentioning?” Alec asked in a hesitant tone of voice.

If you only knew, Magnus thought, closing his eyes. “Yea,” he lied. 

And then he sighed.

“I miss you, Alexander,” he said sorrowfully.

There was a slight laugh on the other line. 

“I miss you, fiancé,” Alec said. “But I will get to see you this afternoon, right? Or evening?”

“Yea…” Magnus said, breathing through his mouth shallowly, as he nearly choked up just then.

_If he was even in any shape to see Alec this afternoon even…_

“Okay then,” Alec said. “I’m about to leave the hospital. I can’t wait until I see you. I love you, fiancé…”

Magnus smiled through his tears. 

“I love you forever, Alexander,” he replied. The phone line went dead.

Magnus just sat there for a few minutes, glancing around at the damage he had already inadvertently caused.

_If this was a precursor of things to come, he wondered._

_....how much worse could this actually get???_

He needed to call Catarina. _NOW._

And…if he could, he needed to somehow reach Lucifer using the Otherworld. 

Who might actually know what this chain reaction would involve.

At the very least, even if things were incredibly grim for him, with little to no hope –

He could attempt to keep his loved ones safe.

Shakily, he sat up on the edge of the bed. He took out his phone, and started to text Catarina. 

But suddenly there was a high pitched sound in his ears, which gave him pause.

And as he looked at the display on the phone, the words on the screen with which he used to text Catarina were already blurring out – he could no longer read what he was writing.

_It seemed like time had frozen around him ---_

And then, all of a sudden, he was no longer in the loft. _Or rather, the loft was no longer around him._

It was – the gray desolate area of the Otherworld.

And the tall imposing figure of Lucifer was looking askance at him, shaking his head sadly.

“Such a pity, Magnus,” he said, with what sounded like genuine regret. “Such a pity.”

There was the smell of smoke again! _But from what –_

He looked down. HIs hand had burst into flames. HIs first instinct was to scream, and put it out.

But strangely, it wasn’t burning him. 

But the flames were licking back and forth, up his arms. _Quickly._

“You don’t feel them yet, do you,” Lucifer stated. Magnus met Lucifer’s gaze. 

“No,” Magnus said finally. “I don’t…”

Now both arms were _aflame,_ he noticed with alarm.

“But everyone else will,” Lucifer said. “As time winds down you will start to hear this incessant ticking in the back of your mind. That’s when you’ll know that your time is almost up.”

“I burned my sheets on the bed just now,” Magnus said dumbly.

“That’s the least of it, Nephew,” Lucifer stated, and there seemed to be a genuine tinge of sympathy in his voice. He blinked. “I was rather hoping that it would spare you that eventuality…”

He trailed off, as he looked off into the distance.

Magnus sighed heavily, his shoulders sagging. 

“I am demon spawn, a son of the Prince of Hell,” he said tonelessly. “No happy endings occur to beings like me…”

“Even if what you did -- _your sacrifice_ \-- should have deemed you even worthy of Heaven,” Lucifer said in a slightly mocking tone.

A tingling started at the bottom of his feet. Magnus didn’t even want to see what was happening.

But…he felt compelled to.

He looked down.

Flames had burst forth, sizzling and popping, at his feet. Again, it wasn’t burning him….

But the ground around him was getting _singed. _He watched as the ground caught on fire – then watched, almost with morbid fascination as the ground closest to his feet seemed to _melt _–

_LIKE ACID…_

Or similar to how paper slowly disintegrated when touched by flame. 

And it _started_ disintegrating, inch by inch, then foot by foot around him. Strangely enough, only the part that he stood on remained intact. And the area started expanding more and more…

As the fire hit a small brush closest to him, it suddenly burst into flames, startling him. Magnus jumped.

“Wow,” Lucifer noted. “Nothing escapes its path. It’s determined to burn down everything in its path, away from its source. Which is you…”

His eyes flitted to Magnus’s middle. And it lingered there.

“What?” Magnus asked, slightly annoyed . He looked down. And his eyes widened.

The flames had crept up to his waist. 

And now he was getting a bit of a headache – along with what felt like a fever.

“My head,” Magnus said. “What’s – happening to my head???” Both hands flew to his head, as he started to feel pressure upon it.

“Your emotions must be affecting it,” Lucifer said. “And with the fire building up to this point, it’s starting to affect your body systemically. At this rate, it’s going to consume you within 2-3 days…”

“Is this really happening right now?” Magnus wondered aloud. He didn’t want to die in 2-3 days. Not like this!

“No,” Lucifer said. “But you did wish to contact me. And you did exactly that. The forces that be, seemed to want you to experience what could potentially happen to you, once you do spiral…”

The pressure was getting more intense now, and Magnus couldn’t hold his head up anymore. The pain was getting so excruciating, he fell down on his knees, heaving deep breaths, his gold cats eyes bursting into fire.

Lifting his head up, he could barely make out Lucifer, standing before him.

“Is this how it ends?” he managed to gasp, tears coming out of his eyes, and his chest heaving with sheer exhaustion and a diminishing supply of oxygen

“Not quite yet,” Lucifer said. He seemed to stare at Magnus quietly for an extended period of time. 

“Wow,” he breathed. “You are indeed a spectacle, right now. Son of Asmodeus…”

“What?” Magnus asked.

“Your whole body is engulfed in flames. Actually quite beautiful, if it wasn’t so tragic.”

Lucifer was shaking his head. “If only it hadn’t happened this way,” he said mournfully. 

And then there it was, an incessant ticking in the back of his head…

And a sharp pain nearly splitting his head open. He shut his eyes tightly and roared in agony.

“But you need to see what happens. This part of your destiny,” Lucifer stated. “Open your eyes and face it…”

Magnus felt compelled to do so. 

As he opened his eyes, all the magic within him surged to his brain, lighting his eyes afire – and all the pressure from the back of his head suddenly surged forward at an alarming rate --

Before he could even react, it _ALL SURGED FORWARD – ALL AT ONCE –_

_RED ORANGE AND YELLOW_

_IT WAS ALL TOO MUCH….THE PRESSURE INSIDE WAS EXCRUCIATING…TOO MUCH_

_HE FELT LIKE HIS HEAD WAS GOING TO EXPLODE --_

_…YET HE NEEDED TO SEE HOW IT ALL ENDED –_

And then….with him as the focal center, _these flames SHOT OUT IN ALL DIRECTIONS_

_…LEVELING EVERY PIECE OF VEGETATION AND EVERYTHING IN ITS PATH –_

_EVEN SUCKING OUT THE AIR FROM THE VERY ATMOSPHERE –_

_Right out of the Otherworld…._

_…._

_Even as horrified as Magnus was upon witnessing this, on some level he was also breathless at the absolute grandeur scale of destruction this was evoking –_

_As a crescendo of various cacophony of sounds started to overwhelm his surroundings completely…_

_….._

_…._

After an eternity, everything seemed to stop.

Magnus realized he was standing, but just with his eyes closed, and his arms out. 

He felt like he was drifting, or at least swaying slightly, with his feet rooted to the spot he was standing in.

“Wow,” he heard Lucifer say, accompanied with a low whistle. “Look at this place now…”

Cautiously Magnus opened his eyes. 

What he saw was nothing but white space, in all directions. It was weird..

Puzzled, he turned to Lucifer. “W-What happened. How is it like this now? Where is the Otherworld?” he asked.

Lucifer slowly turned to him. “We are still here. But now it’s a blank slate.” 

He smiled at Magnus’s confused expression.

“Oh, it will be back, once it has time to regenerate itself,” he clarified. “As you know, this is between planes, and thus only exist in the subconscious. So it can never truly be destroyed.” 

He then let out a short laugh.

“But…I would say, that you did a pretty good job of it, Nephew,” he said. He glanced at Magnus, who still looked confused. “You managed to suck all the life out of it – basically everything that the Otherworld was made of. But it will return – eventually…”

Wide-eyed, Magnus turned to Lucifer. 

“Did I really do all of this?” he asked, his mouth falling open.

Lucifer nodded sadly. 

“Apparently you did,” he said solemnly. “And, unfortunately, this is only a small sample of the damage you could evoke on Earth, especially with your level of Imperial magic…”

Magnus appeared to ponder this as he paced around, in a state of shellshock.

“I could well level the Earth as a whole,” he whispered. 

“That you could,” Lucifer observed, with a note of irony in his voice. 

Magnus swallowed hard, as the reality of things hit him full force just then....

Again the thoughts ran through his mind.

_He could never see Alexander again…_

_Not like this._

_Not if his very presence could annihilate him and the very world he loves, once he started decompensating. _

But…he still had some affairs to settle. And he still had to tell someone –

Catarina, right. She would never forgive him if he didn’t see her.

He owed her that.

At least to tie up loose ends, his affairs on Earth.

Then another thought entered his head.

“Where could I go, to make sure that I don’t cause too much damage when I completely detonate?” he asked in a small voice.

Lucifer hummed.

“This level of magic is so destructive, not even your loft with your strongest wards could hold it in.” 

He appeared contemplative.

“Maybe if you were in an isolated building, surrounded by water on all sides, then you can prevent the level of destruction from getting to the point where it can spread nonstop,” he suggested offhandedly.

That sounded good to Magnus. If that was what he needed to do, then that’s what he needed to do.

He turned to Lucifer. Lucifer looked almost sad as he looked back at him.

“You could always go to Edom, you know,” Lucifer stated. “At least you would have a chance of surviving there ---”

Then he seemed to pause for a moment. “Although, I don’t think your father would be plenty pleased to see you. You are a threat to him right now,” he mused.“

_Oh. Am I now_,” Magnus said aloud, sardonically. He furrowed his brows in contemplation.

_Hm, now there was an interesting thought._

He filed that thought away for later.

Just then, Lucifer appeared to fade. “It appears that my time is at its end, Nephew,” he said sorrowfully. “I hope you got all the answers that you needed. Again, it is quite unfortunate what has been bestowed upon you. I pray you make the decision that you can make peace with.” 

He clucked his tongue in an affectionate gesture.

“I always did like you, you know,” he said to Magnus. “I always thought you would end up stronger, more destructive, and more shrewd than your father. A better King, to rule our land. She needs someone worthy to take over.”

_And with that, Lucifer faded away…_

_Leaving Magnus standing in that white space….._

**************

_Meanwhile, at the New York Institute_

Alec was tired. Almost everyone had come up to him that morning, greeting him, giving him well wishes – yea it was too much people. 

It was making his head spin.

But that was not what was on his mind right now.

He couldn’t help thinking about his conversation with Magnus earlier that morning.

He had told him, “I love you forever, Alexander.” No, see you later Alexander. Or “See you later this evening at the loft, Alexander.

_“I love you forever, Alexander.” _

Then a sickening feeling suddenly slapped him in the face, and he stopped in midstep.

_Almost..as if he was never going to see him again._

And he had completely missed the meaning of that? And just hung up?

Alec’s heart started beating erratically. 

What if…that was the last time he ever spoke to Magnus? Heard his voice?

Angel, he hadn’t even had the chance to get the Lightwood ring to propose to him!

Suddenly, there didn’t seem to be enough time to accomplish anything!

Time was fleeting.

He didn’t’ know how he knew, but all of a sudden, it seemed that way.

Quickly he dug in his pockets for his phone, clicked it on, and dialed Magnus’s number.

Ring…Ring…Ring…

The voicemail came on. 

Alec clicked his phone shut. “Dammit,” he swore. Magnus wasn’t answering….

Or…was he incapable of answering it, due to the state he was in? 

Alec clenched his hands into fists at his sides_. NO, he would not think that way. It couldn’t have decompensated that quickly, right?_

_Please let him have enough time…_

He suddenly realized he was taking uneven deep breaths, tears at the corner of his eyes.

_No, this would NOT do, _he thought to himself, as he shut his eyes, counting slowly backwards from 10.

He needed to be clear minded to think through his plan of action…

First – he was going to go see his mother. 

Then…_perhaps Catarina?_

AH yes, now that was a plan. Catarina would surely know where Magnus was. Or, rather, Magnus would mostly likely be seeing Catarina, especially if he was in some sort of crisis.

_But, in the good times and bad, shouldn’t he want to run to you, first? _his inner voice taunted him.

Alec stood for a moment, as that sentiment washed over him….

Then he shook his head vehemently_. _

_NO, he refused to allow his insecurities to get the better of him._ He was not going to overthink anything right now.

Magnus was in trouble. _That was the priority, nothing else._

He had to get to him somehow, using all means necessary to do so.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 16 to come


	16. M. I. A (Missing In Action)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Time is now of the essence, as Alec is not able to locate Magnus...  
...and Magnus doesn't even know where he is, at the moment.
> 
> Meanwhile, Catarina receives a message, or two...then goes on a mission to find him.  
Alec runs into Catarina, and decisions are made.

At that moment, Maryse Lightwood could be seen through the window of the bookstore, arranging and rearranging book on shelves.

It made Alec smile as he spied her from across the street, despite the gnawing feelings of dread in the pit of his stomach.

He took a deep breath to calm his nerves. _He could do this._ Without his voice cracking, or his demeanor crumbling…

Or his mind going places he didn’t want it to go.

For instance, where was Magnus now? Why wasn’t he picking up his phone? Was he okay???

_Was he…not okay? _

_Alec shuddered at the thought. _

_He_ didn’t want to think about the alternative. _Not when he was here to do what he needed to do…_

_Magnus was just busy,_ Alec told himself. _Too busy to pick up the phone. You’ll get a call back from him at any second. _

_Any second now…_

Okay, now he BETTER stop thinking about it, as that gnawing was getting worse, and soon he would get an ulcer in his stomach…

_Maryse. Right. Just across the street. _

Taking one more deep breath, he forced his feet to move, across the pavement separating himself from his mother – unless he was standing right in front. 

Maryse looked up, and noticed him immediately. Her face brightening into a smile, she hurriedly waved him inside.

That brought a smile to his face. He pulled open the front door, and walked in.

“Alec!” Maryse said happily, as she embraced him.

It felt so warm and safe in her arms. Truthfully, It hadn’t been like this, for many many years in fact. But she was trying, and it was working. This was the mom that he wanted. 

That he needed, right now….

He hugged her back, fiercely. Maybe a bit more than he had intended.

Immediately she pulled away slightly. “Alec?” she asked questioningly. “Is everything okay?”

Of course she would sense it. That was how all mothers were like, Alec figured wryly.

He took a deep breath, and looked at her squarely in the face.

“I’m alright,” Alec said, his mouth curving into a small smile. “I saw how busy you were, from across the street…”

At that, Maryse smiled.

“Ah yes,” she said. “Actually, Magnus had given me some books from the days of old -- which was so sweet of him btw, and I was trying to figure out the best way to showcase them…”

Angel…he hadn’t expected her to mention Magnus so soon in this conversation. 

His heart _stuttered…_

“Actually,” he said, trying to keep his voice sounding even. “You wouldn’t have heard from him today, have you?”

Maryse looked puzzled. “No, actually I haven’t,” she said.

She gave Alec a searching look. “I thought he would be with you. Or that the first place you went after being discharged would be to his place…” she said hesitantly.

“I was going to. But then I tried calling him, and he didn’t pick up the phone,” Alec said. 

It was so hard to retain composure right now, when something inside him was _SCREAMING…._

_HE DIDN’T KNOW WHERE MAGNUS WAS!_

_OR HOW HE WAS!_

He bit his lip.

Maryse continued to look at him. 

“Here,” she said, “Why don’t you sit down and have some tea with me,” she said. “You look like you need to wind down a bit. Keep me company, while I finish up…”

It was on the tip of his tongue to refuse, that time was of the essence. But in light of how unhinged he was feeling at the moment, he could only nod. And sat down in an empty chair closest to him.

Maryse smiled serenely at her son, as she poured him a cup of tea. He took it with a small smile, and sipped at it, holding the cup in both hands.

_Soothing mint.._.

Anyway he was already feeling better, with the tea, and being in the presence of his mother.

Soon enough, she was finished, and took the seat across from him.

They started making small talk, which surprisingly helped to lift Alec's mood. 

At one point he even started asking about Luke Garroway, who Isabelle had noticed had started appearing everywhere that Maryse was. 

I think there's something between them, Isabelle teased. Alec was skeptical.

But for some reason, his curiosity was intrigued now. And so he asked the question.

In response, she had blushed, like a teenager. Alec was utterly surprised. Never did he imagine he would get to see how mother so flustered. Or look as young as she did at that moment.

She looked happy. It was a great look on her. He told her that too.

His mother ended up smiling so brightly, it was wonderful...

“Anyway, son,” she continued slowly, “You obviously came over for a purpose. I mean, aside from wanting to watch me redecorate or organize things…”

She started to busy herself by picking up some books from the table, and started to walk to the shelves along the wall.

_Oh, right…_“Well, mom,” Alec said, clearing his throat. “I may have asked Magnus to marry me the other day.”

Maryse, in the middle of walking, just dead stopped. And turned around, a wondrous look on her face.

“Alec,” she said, her voice firm and proud. She walked over to him and held him by the forearms.

“That’s wonderful,” she gasped warmly, tears in her eyes. “No one deserves more happiness than the two of you. He said yes, right?”

Alec nodded, as tears sprang into his eyes. “That he did,” he confirmed.

Immediately Maryse embraced Alec tightly. 

“This is the best news I’ve heard all day!” she said brightly. Then a slight frown appeared on her face.

“But…you didn’t have the ring with you,” she said.

“Yea,” Alec said sheepishly. “It was kinda spontaneous, the proposal.”

“Well then, the ring then you must have,” she said. She walked over to the main desk, and opened a drawer. She lifted a small metal box out, and walked back over to Alec.

“Here, my boy,” Maryse said, tears shining in her eyes, as she held out the box to him. 

Her voice was filled with happiness and pride. “Go put this on the one you love. You two are perfect for one another.”

“Thanks, Mom,” Alec said, accepting the box from her. 

He opened it up. The simplistic, handsome design of the heirloom, passed from one eldest Lightwood to another, one generation to another…

And now it was going to Magnus – potentially – _Lightwood-Bane_…

Against his will, his eyes filled with tears.

“Aww, look at you. You’re so happy. I’m so glad, Alec,” Maryse said softly, clearly misunderstanding how Alec was feeling.

She drew him into another hug. 

And he just leaned into it, savoring the feeling. _He was too choked up to even say anything else…._

_MAGNUS, WHERE ARE YOU? his brain screamed._

*****

At this moment, Magnus was asking himself the same question.

Shortly after Lucifer had faded away, leaving him in that white space of oblivion, Magnus was hit with the worst headache imaginable…

And he had passed out…

Now everything was a blur around him – but to some extent, he could sense the heat from the fires that just seemed to be part of his very essence right now, just dancing beneath the surface of his skin ---

_The point of no return?_ he thought in dismay.

_“Magnus…”_ A familiar voice, one that he could pick out of any crowd, reverberated in his voice. _“Where are you?”_

HIs breath hitched. _Catarina…_

Right, he had taken out his phone to call her, before all of this….

_“I’m not sure,”_ he said. _“I’m…somewhere, alright.”_

_“What?”_ Catarina asked, sounding very surprised. _“Wait, how are you even in my head right now?”_

_“I-I’m not sure,”_ Magnus said, uncertainty coloring his words. He swallowed hard. _“I heard you asking where I was…and I’m just answering you…”_

_“But I was only thinking it!”_ Catarina definitely sounded shocked. 

_“I really don’t know,”_ Magnus admitted. _“But I guess, I can’t say that I’m not happy that we can communicate this way.”_

A long silence followed. Did he lose the connection, Magnus wondered –

_“Well, that just won’t do,”_ Catarina suddenly said, resolutely_. “We need to get an anchor on you and bring you home.”_

Magnus could feel tears spring into his eyes. 

_“Maybe this is for the best, Catarina. I saw what could happen to me. What I can cause. It’s not going to be good for everyone.”_

He shuddered. Taking a deep breath, he locked the rest of his feelings, and his bleeding heart away.

_“In fact, it’s going to be potentially catastrophic. And I can’t do that to everyone that I love back on Earth. And no, I am not going to Edom, just for the slim chance that I can survive. I am not going to consider that. I'd rather sacrifice myself than end up there if I end up not being able to return...”_

Now he was devoid of feelings, and his voice had taken on a cold and dead type of calm. Yes, this was best for everyone…

_“What?”_ He heard Catarina’s voice tinged with disbelief_. “Now I know you didn’t just say that to me, your oldest friend. Magnus, don’t you go into hiding. Not whenever there’s so many who love you. You don’t get to disappear on them, just like that…”_

Magnus shuddered, upon hearing Catarina’s tone of voice. Even though he was so glad he wasn’t there in person to be on the receiving end of that, it was still caustic – hitting him as if he had been…

_“…Cat.” _He couldn’t help the whine that came out. Ugh he hated her guilt trips. And, of course, she was totally right.

_“And how about Alec?” _Catarina went on.

Ugh, that question just slammed itself into Magnus’s heart, completely breaking through his walls. He gasped, as fresh tears spilled over his cheeks. 

_“I-I can never see him again,”_ Magnus whispered, his heart breaking_. “I’m on a one-way course to disaster. I can’t be around him, or anyone…”_

_“Lillith,” Catarina said, her voice suddenly pained. “Wait. You mean…”_

Magnus nodded fervently. 

Then he realized she couldn’t see him.

_“Yes,” _he said slowly_. “Somehow I was summoned to Lucifer in the Otherworld. And I was shown the potential for destruction here. I’m literally a ticking time bomb. Nothing would survive in my path…”_

_Sniffling, he wiped at his eyes with the back of his hand._

_“Magnus.” _He could hear the irritatingly, ever-patient tone in her voice now._ “You love Alexander, and he loves you. Are you really going to be all sacrificial and not even give him the chance to see you – at all? I mean, just because you guys still aren’t serious and all –”_

_“He proposed to me,” _Magnus couldn’t help blurting out._ “And I said yes.”_

That seemed to make Catarina pause, as there was silence for awhile.

When she spoke again, her voice sounded soft_. _

_“Wow,”_ she breathed. _“That’s…amazing.”_

_“What it is --is crazy,” _Magnus insisted._ “I tried to turn him down. But in my heart of hearts I didn’t want to. You should have seen the look on his face. It was everything that I wanted to see in someone who loved me with his whole heart and soul. I couldn’t say no. Otherwise I would have been lying to myself…”_

_“Of course you wouldn’t do that to yourself,” Catarina said softly. “Which is why I’m saying that you really need to come home. Please. I don’t know where you are . I can’t even track you using regular means. Actually this bothers me, I should be able to come into the Otherworld…”_

Magnus took a deep breath, closing his eyes.

“_Well,” _he said slowly_, “You can’t exactly enter a place, that no longer exists…”_

He trailed off, sighing heavily.

_“WHAT?” _Catarina asked, stunned._ “W-What do you mean by that?”_

_“I mean, I was about to call you, after I initially burst into flames…but then I blacked out and I ended up here. I-I witnessed myself being consumed by flames, followed by my own detonation. The Otherworld was wiped clear off the map. It doesn’t exist right now. So where I am, literally no longer exists. No one can come here. And I’m literally nowhere -- yet everywhere -- all at once…”_

Magnus knew he wasn’t making sense right now.

But this was exactly where he was…

_“Well,”_ Catarina huffed. _“I need to get to the bottom of this. Anyway give me a few hours. Maybe I will attempt to track you again, and manage to hook you back. Don’t lose hope, okay? Because I haven’t…. I am not going to lose you to this, at least not right now.”_

As Catarina’s presence disappeared from his mind, Magnus smiled in resignation. 

And he just stood there. For how long, he didn’t know. Time in this non-existent place just didn’t matter.

But the longer he just stood there, the more at peace he became – with what was going to happen to him.

It was okay. He already knew what he was going to do….

No matter what, he was _not _going to consider going to Edom, even if there was the slim chance that he might survive. 

With Imperial blood in his veins, was too vulnerable to Edom and its forces.

He could very well lose himself to the claim the land had over him and his bloodlines. So far it wasn’t as strong because his father was alive. 

But – if Lucifer had been correct in saying that he was now _potentially _much more powerful than Asmodeus, then that would pass onto _him._

_No, no – it was just best that he get to a place where he couldn’t hurt anyone. _

And he had the perfect place too.

The image of a large warehouse on Hart Island slowly came forth in his mind. It was isolated, far away from Manhattan proper, and there was water all around. Like what Lucifer said, that would prevent the blasts from spreading past the perimeters of the island.

At least when he detonated, it wouldn’t affect anyone else.

Magnus closed his eyes, the image of the warehouse, and its location clear in his mind. 

_His final resting place_. 

In an odd way, it brought him comfort to see it. 

He took a deep breath, willing more magic through his body. It burned and seared through his head, making him grit his teeth.

But soon, he felt it working. The tingling at his feet. He opened his eyes briefly as he looked down. The flames – as they had appeared in the Otherworld during the demonstration in front of Lucifer --- had started at his feet. 

The flames which held no heat within him – but would incinerate everything else in its path.

His eyes clicked, brandishing flame. And he sighed deeply.

“Here we go,” he whispered. 

He became mesmerized by the way the fire slowly crept up the length of his body. _And then he was gone, having portalled himself away…_

_…………………………_

_Meanwhile…_

Catarina stepped out of a portal, arriving right in front of Magnus’s loft. 

The wards clicked, and she was able to pass.

She breathed a sigh of relief that Magnus hadn’t changed anything and that she was able to enter. She would need something in his apothecary or in his array of spellbooks, to figure out how to anchor Magnus and bring him back.

She strode into the loft. And immediately wrinkled her nose. There was the acrid smell of smoke lingering about. What was that from?

Out of the corner of her eye, she saw that the bedroom door was open ajar. Hmm, she thought, deciding to take a look.

She moved in that direction. And as she did, she noticed that the smell was getting stronger. 

She stopped suddenly, as her heart skipped a beat.

Wait, there was a fire here? In the bedroom? That’s what it smelled like…

She continued to walk toward the bedroom, a bit more cautiously now.

As she pushed open the door, the strong smell of smoke hit her squarely in the face. And then she saw it – there was a huge gaping hole in the center of Magnus’s gold silk bedsheets, charred at the edges. And there was clearly remnants of the fire along with walls…

And there was…Magnus’s phone, still on the bed --- looking half-melted.

Catarina’s head was spinning by this point. _So, there actually had been a fire here? That actually did melt his phone?_

_Now her mind was racing. _

So he _had _been here. But then…he burst into flames? Which caused the scorching of his bedsheets?

She couldn’t wrap her head around this.

But she couldn’t focus on this now. _Magnus was okay…._

Well – to the extent that he was still able to communicate with her, even if he wasn’t sure exactly where he was right now. 

She just stared at the disaster laid out before her –

“Cat? I was just trying to reach you. I ---”

The sudden voice made Catarina whirl around – to face Alec, who had somehow arrived without her hearing him come in.

His hazel eyes were distraught as they flitted all over the room – from the bedsheets, to the walls…

“Where is he?” Alec choked. “And…w-what happened here?” 

Then his eyes honed in on Magnus’s phone on the bed. _It was half-melted….right next to the silk fibers and gaping hole in the bedsheets, scorched and black…._

A high pitched frequency sound suddenly assailed his ears, obscuring all sounds around him, and the rushing sounds of wind enveloped his surroundings. Catarina was saying something to him but he could no longer make out what she was saying.

He felt as if he couldn’t breathe. 

He was on the phone with Magnus just earlier….

And now he was not here, and his phone was on the bed. 

_WHAT, IF ANYTHING, HAPPENED TO HIM??! HIs heart was pounding fiercely through his chest._

Oh god, a panic attack. He dipped his head, and opened his mouth, forcing himself to gulp in amounts of air.

His eyes widened.

He needed to calm down._ HE NEEDED TO CALM DOWN. OTHERWISE ---_

Comforting arms came around him just then, securing him. A sense of relief filled him as he allowed himself to be led to a chair. Gratefullly he sat down, still hanging his head and taking breaths through his mouth.

“…Yes Alec, that’s exactly what you need to do. We need to get your heartbeat down, it’s going so fast right now,” Catarina was saying. Her voice was calm and reassuring. 

Alec began to feel slightly better. 

His vision also started improving, and he was able to see Catarina more clearly now. 

“What is it, Alec?” Catarina asked gently.

He stared at Catarina. “I…I was talking to Magnus on the phone earlier. And we hung up. Then I tried calling him later in the day and he wasn’t answering his phone,” he said. “Then…now, I find THIS.” He ran his hand nervously through his hair. I really don’t know what to think right now. “D-Did this possibly happen…shortly after we talked?”

Frantically he racked his breath.

“And, come to think about it, he also cursed while we were talking, as if something unexpected had happened. I asked him what happened, and he kinda dismissed it. But I could detect some shakiness in his voice after that…”

He shut his eyes, as visions of worst possible scenarios started flooding his head. OH, MAGNUS….

Catarina’s eyes were serious, as she surveyed Alec.

“You aren’t totally off the bat about that, Alec,” she finally said.

His frantic, desperate eyes flew to Catarina, his heart beating even more furiously in his chest. “W-What do you mean by that?” he asked.

“The curse has passed a certain stage,” Catarina said seriously. She held Alec’s gaze. “I somehow received a telepathic signal from him. But he doesn’t know where he is. He’s stuck between worlds right now. And I can’t track him. But he did say something about fire being a side effect. So judging from the state of this room, it’s highly likely that he burst into flames while he was on the bed, talking to you…”

“Hold up,” Alec stated suddenly, his voice frantic and trembling. “This is a bit much for me to take in. Did you say…_he burst into flames_?”

Catarina nodded gravely. 

“I actually came here to see if I could gain some insight into where he is right now – sometimes a signal could become more pronounced if at the sender’s own home.” She frowned. “But I’m not picking up anything at the moment…”

Alec’s mind suddenly went blank as he sagged in his chair_. Magnus…was missing_. 

His brain could not compute that. 

……………….

“Wait…” Catarina’s brows knit together. “Something is coming to me.”

She shut her eyes, as she attempted to focus.

Alec looked up, hope rising in his chest, even as he attempted to quell it. He did not want to get his hopes up, in case it was a false alarm…

“I am definitely getting something,” Catarina declared. “And, no, he’s actually not sending me these visions voluntarily. It was triggered when he set off the fire portal –”

Alec’s eyes widened.

“F-Fire portal?” he asked hesitantly.

Catarina nodded. “Yea,” she said. “That’s all that seems to be manifesting now when he activates the magic. She shook her head. “He’s set off a sequela that cannot be stopped.”

Alec’s heart stilled, as a realization washed over him. 

_He was going to be sick…_

“So…this is it?” he asked. His heart was breaking. This was not possible . He refused to believe it. 

_NO!_

Catarina hesitated. And Alec picked up on it.

“Catarina,” he said firmly. “You know something, don’t you…”

Catarina didn’t respond.

“Catarina, look at me, please,” Alec pleaded. “Is there a way to save his life?”

There was a long silence. Then Catarina spoke.

“He said he didn’t want to go,” she said softly. “He said he would rather die than go there.”

“Where?” Alec asked curiously.

Catarina then fixed her gaze upon him. “Edom,” she said.

“Edom,” Alec breathed. _Of all the fucked up places for him as an option, to end up..._

And yet…

“Wait,” Alec said. “If he chooses to portal to Edom, could his life be spared?”

“Perhaps,” Catarina said slowly. “That is, if he doesn’t end up burning up or self-detonating before the pentagram pulls him down. In the end it’s a 50/50 chance..”

“50/50,” Alec stated, his heart dropping. He closed his eyes in anguish. 

Why were the odds so dismal?

But then…the optimistic side of that shone through, and Alec squared up his shoulders.

“Well,” he said, mustering hope into his voice. “It’s still 50 percent that he makes it there, right?”

Catarina just looked at him blankly. 

Alec tried to force a smile upon his face. 

“Listen,” Alec said urgently. “Regardless, I need to go to him. I have to tell him how much I love him, and -- I can’t even believe that I am saying this – but I _need_ him to try to survive this – even if the odds are slim. Even if he ends up having to go to the place he absolutely cannot stand.” He swallowed hard. “Maybe I can go with him. Maybe we can –”

“Alec, stop,” Catarina said firmly. “You cannot go with him, he is a danger to everything around him, including himself. And you cannot survive in Edom with him, you know that –”

Catarina stopped, as Alec suddenly crumpled in front of her – his face, his posture, with his hands clenched into fists. 

Then hot tears started spilling over his cheeks.

“Can you blame me, Cat?” Alec cried desperately. 

Angrily, he wiped at his eyes with the back of his hand. 

“I love him. I love him so much. He was it – for me. He still is the one – for me. I mean, I knew it wasn’t going to last, because of what he endured, for me. And—I still…asked him to marry me, Cat. I did. And he said yes.” 

Hastily he fumbled in his pocket, and brought out the metal box, monogramed with an “L”. 

“I went to my mother today, to get this. To give to him. “And I intend to give it to him,” he said stubbornly. “This ring belongs to him, and no one else, Catarina. It never will.”

His voice broke at the end of that sentence. 

Feeling broken and helpless, he fell upon his knees, with tear tracks down his face.

He could feel Catarina’s eyes on him. Ugh he hated sounding so pathetic. 

Slowly she shook her head, as a rueful smile came upon her face.

“You are something else,” she murmured. “Magnus has always been right about you. You don’t do things by halves. And you will burn the very ground that you stand on, to make something right…”

“So, you will help me to get to him?” Alec asked hopefully.

Her eyes bore into his, as she considered his request.

Then her shoulders sagged. 

“I should say no to this,” she said softly. “But I can see that it might possibly break you to not go to him.” 

Alec nearly collapsed with relief at her words, he was beside himself. “Thank you,” he cried, “Thank you so much, Catarina –”

“Although,” Catarina interjected, “But wouldn’t this make things much harder? When you know what the outcome might be?”

“I am aware of what the outcome might be,” Alec stated firmly. “But I can’t go on if I didn’t talk to him one last time, no matter what happens.”

Catarina nodded. 

“As you wish, then,” she said. “I will tell you the vision I received. It is a warehouse on Hart Island, on the East River in the borough of the Bronx. I’m sure you can find it using GPS, or whatever tracking system you use at the Institute. As for the warehouse, it is the green one which is at the South End. It is isolated, and as far as I can tell, already heavily warded…”

“If it is heavily warded,” Alec asked, “How will I be able to pass?”

Catarina hummed. “Leave that to me,” she said. 

Her eyes flitted to the small metal box still in Alec’s hand.

“Mind if I look at that for a moment? I’m going to put a spell on it that creates an electromagnetic attraction between the ring and Magnus. Thus once the spell is cast, as long as you wear the ring, it will bring you to wherever Magnus is. “

Wordlessly, Alec passed the box over to Catarina. 

Then a thought came into Alec opened his mouth, about to speak, but Catarina had started talking again.

“Just keep in mind, this magic doesn’t work interdimensionally, or between different planes. It will not work between Earth and Edom,” Catarina stated.

Alec somehow already knew she was going to say something like that – but he couldn’t help feel disappointed anyway.

“Thank you for getting me to him,” Alec choked out. “I will forever be in your debt, for what you are doing for us…”

Catarina’s eyes were kind and empathetic. And now she had started to sniffle. 

“I love him too, you know,” she said softly. “He’s been my closest friend for eons. I’ve loved him, and been an emotional rock for him after certain events in his life that nearly broke him – Camille, the Uprising, etc. And it’s killing me to know he’s suffering through this alone, and that there is nothing I can do help him. I’ve been through so much with him, and I could always at least provide some comfort, or at least lend him an ear.”

She sighed. 

“And now…I can’t be there for him,” she said dejectedly.

Alec placed a hand on her shoulder. 

“He has such high regard for you, Catarina. He wants you to be safe,” he said softly.

Catarina sighed. 

“Yea,” she said. Her soft brown eyes met Alec’s in an intense gaze. “As he wants_ you_ to be safe, Alec.” 

She laughed softly. 

“But…you are going to go ahead and see him anyway...”

He nodded. 

“I am,” he said. "He needs someone to be there with him. He is my fiance." 

He swallowed hard. 

"I don't think I can live without him, Cat," he said, his voice suddenly faltering. "I'm actually thinking ---"

"No," Catarina said firmly. She put both hands on his shoulders. 

Alec blinked, his hazel eyes registering surprise at her assertive tone of voice. 

"Do not spiral down that path. You can't afford to, not in the position you are in. You alone hold the only chance for the Downworld and the Nephilim to establish peace, for good. He would want that. He would want you to carry on. Your role in this --in history -- is too important. If he were here, he would be telling you that also..."

"But how can I be effective, if Magnus is going to be gone?" Alec said in anguish, clenching his hands into tight fists. "How can I even lead --"

"Your family. Your sister, Isabelle -- as potentially strong of a leader as you are, and even more cunning. And friends with the Downworld. She could help you carry through this. And your patabatai, Jace, with whom you share a soul. They can, and will, get you through this," Catarina stated. " And then there's all of us. You've done so much for him, for us... It hasn't gone unnoticed." 

Those words moved Alec to tears. It did provide consolation in the face of the inevitable. 

He was speechless for a second. But then managed to find his voice.

"T-Thank you, Catarina," he managed to say. "That really means a lot..." 

Catarina smiled then, a sad smile as she gazed at him. 

"If you are going to go, you should start now," he advised kindly.

She handed him the small metal box back, which was now shining in gold. 

"Just hold it for a moment, and concentrate hard upon it," she said. " The signal will come out loud and clear. Even if he's warded the place and glamoured it invisible, you will be able to see it."

He accepted it with a curt nod.

Taking a deep breath, he closed his eyes, willing all his concentration on the box in his hand for a few minutes. 

And then... the image of Magnus appeared in his head. He looked like he was huddled in a dark corner...

_He looked so forlorn, and alone. _

Alec's heart broke just then, and he blinked back tears. 

_He needed to go to him._

"I've got him," he told Catarina. She nodded assent, and motioned for him to go.

Turning on his heel, he swiftly left the loft.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> THE FINAL CHAPTER IS UPON US!. CH 17 to come.


	17. Descensus ad inferos animam salvam

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alec races against time to get to Magnus. But will he make it in time?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> _Descensus ad inferos animam salvam:_  
the descent into hell to save a life

Alec was running. Like he’s never run before. He had to get to where Magnus was.

But not before going to the New York Institute, and informing Isabelle about the situation. He had to literally wrench himself from his sister, who had become distraught.

She had started demanding all the details of what was happening. 

I don’t understand how Magnus hadn’t told me what was happened, she protested. I knew what he was about to do, in order to save you! 

_And now she had to find out that Magnus was on an irreversible course to destruction?_

But Alec had no time to just stand there and explain things to her, even though he loved her more than life itself.. 

He just did not have the energy to do so, either – this would have just about killed him.

Instead, he just hugged her tightly, and said he needed to go to Magnus, now.

She had taken one look at his face, and nodded, her lips pressed into a firm line .

Please tell him I love him, she had whispered, as they embraced goodbye. 

The memory of her voice breaking had nearly ended him. 

Angel, if he was having this much trouble just thinking about delivering her message to him – _how was he going to do it once he saw him in person?_

All thoughts fled his mind, as he got closer to the Pier where the Ferry boat to Hart Island was docked. Fortunately, he had checked the schedules beforehand, and one was just about to leave.

He jumped on it. As the boat headed toward the island, memories of him and Magnus in happier times – and even those times, when they were at soul level, promising themselves to one another – flitted through his mind.

I’m coming, Magnus, he thought, setting his jaw firm. 

In his pocket, he held the small metal box, that he was determined to give to him.

Soon the boat docked at the Island, and Alec tipped the boatman as he stepped off the boat. 

Suddenly he felt a buzz in his pocket. Ah the ring was pulsating, thanks to Catarina’s magic. 

And there was a red glow around the warehouse – the one in which Magnus was at. 

Quickly, Alec took out his stele and activated his speed rune. He was in front of the warehouse in about five minutes. 

Taking a deep breath, he pushed open the door, which was a bit heavy. And peeked inside. It was all dark – but in the far end, he spotted something glowing. 

He walked in, going toward that glowing area…

And then Alec saw him. _Exactly as he had seen him in his mind._

Magnus was in that far corner of the warehouse, sitting on the floor, hugging his knees to his chest. And his eyes were closed. He seemed to be mumbling something, oblivious to everything else around him. 

From a distance, Magnus looked like he was _burning…Burning._

But that was not what made Alec stare. 

He was staring at the flames, licking at Magnus’s skin and clothing. 

They seemed to be traveling over his body and clothing, but they weren’t burning him. Nor did Magnus seem to be in any sort of pain. 

He was just sitting there, looking helpless. And alone. _Apparently, he had come here…to die._

Well, Alec wouldn’t stand for that..

Strengthening his resolve, the Shadowhunter slowly started walking toward him.

****************

The flames had overtaken his whole body. 

The fire wasn’t hot or hurting him, but the magic was sparking up erratically underneath his skin -- definitely more erratic than usual. His heart had now started beating erratically – as a human, he would have already gone into cardiac arrest at the speed it was going.

It wasn’t going to be too much longer now, Magnus realized thought, steeling himself for the inevitable.

He hugged himself more tightly. 

It really wasn’t all that bad, he reasoned to himself. The flames didn’t hurt, and then he would just…disappear. Without hurting anyone. The warehouse would just – explode, with him in it. And that would be that. 

_Gone in the blink of an eye._

Even as, he had not had time to say goodbye to anyone. Catarina, Isabelle, Maryse. 

_Alexander._

His heart stuttered as he pictured his fiance in his mind. With the amazing large hazel eyes and dark hair. 

And the loving smile.

The memory of the proposal flitted through his mind again, almost bringing him to tears. But despite that, he did want to relive it, as it was one of the happiest memories he had…

_“My love…”_

Wait, that wasn’t what Alec said. And…he suddenly realized that he had heard that spoken aloud. 

_What?_

_“Magnus.”_ He heard the voice again…to the left of him.

He turned, and caught sight of the tall figure in Shadowhunter combat attire, complete with combat foots, black shirt and pants, thigh holster and all. 

Stunned, and convinced it was a mirage or wishful thinking, he shook his head disbelievingly. Only muttering, “My eyes need to stop playing tricks on me...."

_HE IS NOT HERE…. _

“Oh, yes he is,” a too familiar voice said wryly in response.

And then, Magnus realized he had spoken those words aloud.

Anyway, that low level sarcasm that Magnus had detected in that voice, combined with that attitude was too familiar – too real – for it to be any sort of mirage or something that his mind might have conjured up. 

Slowly Magnus lifted his eyes up toward the figure again.

The imposing figure of Alec Lightwood was standing right there – he was really here. And his large hazel eyes held the softest look as he gazed upon Magnus.

“H-How did you find me?” Magnus whispered, shocked beyond belief as he stared at his fiance. 

He had not only not told anyone where he was going, but he had also glamoured the warehouse so that no one could see it….

Alec had an imperceptible twist upon his lips. “I had a little help from Catarina,” he said wryly. “Apparently you kept your channel open, or whatever that was, and she was able to see what you were doing…”

Magnus blinked. “How did you manage to run into Catarina?” he asked finally. She hadn’t been scheduled to consult at the Infirmary at the Institute these past few days, so he had no idea how Alec would have known how to search for her…

“At the place we both know so well. We both went looking for you at the loft. I ran into her there. We were blindsided by the state of our master bedroom,” Alec said. He shuddered inwardly upon the memory of it. 

“Ah,” Magnus stated. But he said nothing else after that.

There was a long silence. 

Anxiously, Alec ran his fingers through his hair.

“So,” Alec said, with some difficulty. ‘You were just going to leave, without _telling_ me?”

His voice was kind. And yet, it sounded full of heartbreak.

Abashed, Magnus lifted his eyes toward Alec, who continued to stare at him in anguish, in misery, with undying love.

It was on the tip of his tongue to make a joke. But honestly, Magnus was out of jokes. There was no stopping any of this now.

And so tears spilled from his eyes, as he choked upon his words.

“I didn’t want you to see me like this,” Magnus said quietly, feeling the painful twinge in his heart as the sight of Alec before him. “I didn’t want your pity –”

The expression on Alec’s face turned into one of disbelief. 

“Pity?” the Shadowhunter whispered incredulously. “I love you. I’m _devastated _this is happening. And to know that you came here, _just to die_ \--”

“What’s happening to me, is going to affect you all,” Magnus said flatly. “Once the fires within me get too much, the Earth’s atmosphere is going to make me self-detonate, leveling the Earth for miles in every direction. The resulting devastation cannot even be predicted, that’s how catastrophic it can get. _Hence why I am here.”_

An odd calm passed through Magnus, as a faraway look came into his eyes.

“I couldn’t bear it if I was the cause of everyone dying. So this way, it’s just me. And then everyone else gets to go living their lives. This is really the best decision for everyone,” Magnus stated.

Alec stared at Magnus, feeling incredibly frustrated. Magnus already seemed like he had quietly accepted it. But…the opposite was true for him –

And then he couldn’t stop it anymore, the level of frustration and pain --

“Never mind anyone else!” Alec suddenly snapped. His own eyes widened, upon hearing himself. As did Magnus’s eyes. As the words tumbled out, he regretted it.

“I’m sorry, I’m so sorry,” Alec apologized quickly, feeling horrible. “This is just a lot to process….”

Magnus averted his eyes. “I know my darling,” he said softly. “I can’t believe I’m saying this, but you shouldn’t have come.” 

He smiled sadly. 

“I love you. I love you my darling, for all of eternity. I wish there was some other way, but I will burn up entirely in this atmosphere if I continue to stay. And then that fire destroy everything in your world, including you and those I love. I will not allow that to happen…” 

Magnus was running out of things to say. 

_WHY WOULDN’T ALEC JUST GO?_ his brain frantically shouted. 

_He was making this all too impossible!_

“This is your world too, Magnus,” Alec insisted.

“I’m afraid it hasn’t been my world since I returned from Edom. Something in me changed, for the worse. And I knew it. But I was trying to suppress it. I was trying to find a way to get rid of it. And then that thing with you happened. And I needed to save your life. And that became my priority, even over my own welfare, my own stability…” 

Magnus swallowed, and reached out to take Alec’s hand.

Alec’s large hazel eyes were overfilling with tears – so much so, Magnus found it hard to look at him.

“I don’t’ regret anything. I wanted to save you. You are my heart, my soul. You deserve everything my love. You and those you care about, you deserve to live, you deserve your world. Not to have me obliterate it, with this energy growing within me that I cannot stop, ” Magnus said, with some difficulty. “You have to let me go…”

“But I don’t want the world. I want you,” Alec said in a small voice. 

Magnus closed his eyes in anguish. 

It was not the first time he had heard Alec say those words. He recalled that time when Asmodeus was about to take him, and he was justifying why he needed to leave. Alec had not accepted it then.

Just like he knew he wouldn’t accept it now.

_But that was then, and this was now._ There was no way out of this one, and Magnus knew it, even if it was now stabbing him in the heart…

“I don’t want to live in a world without you,” Alec said plaintively.

But he himself knew this situation was futile. The fire energy was consuming Magnus right now, as if a second skin, flicking over Magnus’s body. The whole spectacle was quite mind-blowing and beautiful actually, if only it did not have Magnus’s possible demise at the heart of it all.

_This was way too much for him to think about…_

Magnus tried yet again.

_“ALEC. Please, leave. _Please. I’m unstable. I don’t know how much longer I have before it ends. And you are at ground zero right now. You are going to die with me! And I don’t want you to!” Magnus was practically begging now. “Please, I love you! You need to go.”

Alec could barely see through the tears that were slipping out of his eyes. He couldn’t’ believe he was about to lose Magnus. Again_._

** _And this time, there was nothing he could do._ **

Magnus then smiled sadly.

“Please, Alec, you need to go. Please continue to live. For me,” he pleaded. “Please!” 

“Wait,” Alec said, sounding desperate. He fumbled in his pocket. “I-I almost forgot. I came here to give you – this.” He took out the small metal box. He flipped it open. Taking out the ring, he held it out to Magnus.

And Magnus just stared, at the handsome silver ring in Alec’s hand.

“You accepted my proposal, Magnus,” Alec said, trying to make his voice steady. “It’s only fitting you take this.”

To his horror, Magnus began to shake his head sadly. “What’s the point, Alexander?” he said, with resignation in his voice. “Look whats going to happen to me…”

_What? Was Magnus going back on what he had pledged to him?_

“You…don’t want to be with me, forever?” Alec asked incredulously, on the verge of tears. 

He hated how he was acting, right now. . He knew that Magnus made sense.

But in the moment, he couldn’t see logic or reason. All he saw was that Magnus had _rejected_ him….

“Darling…_Noooo._ That’s not it at all,” Magnus protested. “I love you, I will always love you. But for me to take that ring, _when I am so close to being gone_ \---”

_AND THAT WAS IT -- ALEC HAD HAD ENOUGH OF ALL OF THIS ---_

“Look,” Alec all but exploded, as fury overtook his sadness. 

Magnus _flinched._

“Now, tell me…Is there a reason why you aren’t choosing to go to Edom? When there’s even a _slight _chance you could survive this _whole_ thing?” 

Alec clenched his fists. He hated acting like this, but Magnus was being so stubborn, and he didn’t get why!

Magnus, shocked at Alec’s display of emotion – which was so not like him -- was rendered _mute._

It was hard for him to speak.

Alec continued, in a less caustic tone, “Don’t you think – that some chance, even the smallest chance, that you could survive, would be worth the risk? That you could have the chance to come back?”

“No. I don’t want to go to Edom,” Magnus proclaimed. “I would rather die then go there…”

He stared straight ahead, his chin firm, and defiant. 

Then he heard sniffling on the side. Which made him turn in that direction. 

Alec was sniffling. And then that turned into full blown sobs. 

“I-I’m sorry. So sorry. I don’t mean to do this, Magnus,” Alec sobbed, tears flowing down his cheeks. “I hate how I’m reacting. But I can’t help it. I don’t want you to die. I always thought we could always find our way back to one another. _And to think that this time we can’t_ –”

Alec couldn’t go on, as he had completely broken down sobbing again.

Watching his fiance so utterly gone, it was breaking Magnus’s soul in ways that the magic couldn’t even begin to do….

Magnus’s heart began to tear,

But then he felt a strange pull, as his magic activated ---

Suddenly there was something in his hand – correction, something he was clenching in his fist. His eyes widened. 

Just as Alec’s eyes suddenly widened. He frantically looked down at his hands, opening them. They both now held nothing. 

Just as Magnus slowly unraveled his fist. In his palm he held the Lightwood ring. _ WHAT ---_

Whoa, talk about being mind blown. 

But now, Alec was no longer sobbing, but smiling widely at him, even as his tears were flowing silently.. And through that gaze was love, adoration, loyalty – everything he could want in someone to love forever…

It made Magnus’s heart ache to see that. _If only this all wasn’t so tragic…_

“See?” Alec said tearfully, smiling through his tears. “That ring truly belongs to you, and no one else. I would never be able to think of it as belonging to anyone else but you.” Alec paused for a moment. “I love you, Magnus…_Lightwood-Bane_.”

Magnus’s eyes widened even further upon hearing Alec’s words.

_MAGNUS…LIGHTWOOD-BANE?!!_

_OH LILLITH –_

Dammit, how was Alec able to do this??? _How dare he do this, at this time ---!_

And yet, by then all resolve, all his walls completely came down…. 

Magnus was _sobbing, within an inch of his life. _

Alec wanted him to try….Alec wanted him to try to _survive_ this.

Magnus was quite confused; he had been so sure about his decision. But now, he didn’t know what to do, especially with Alec here…

Magnus started mumbling, “But there’s no guarantee of me even surviving the trip to Edom. We are kinda toward the late end of things. I’m so sorry, my love. This is all my fault. _Now I’m not even sure_ \---”

And then, Magnus started feeling really hot all of a sudden.

“Alec,” he whispered. “I-I don’t feel very good right now…” The flames licking on his skin were now sparking, madly.

Immediately Alec was contrite. 

“What’s happening, Magnus?” he asked, his eyes widening. 

In a matter of seconds, the fire that had engulfed Magnus had somehow rushed downward with the quickness – and then a blinding white light spread out a few feet in all directions like in an aura on the floor around Magnus.

Alec was knocked off his feet, as he stumbled backwards, falling onto his rear. 

“Alexander!” Magnus screamed, as he felt his magic propel through his body.

And then, in the next second, everything was calm again. 

Magnus looked down blankly, just as Alec got his faculties back. 

And they both stared at where Magnus was standing right now. 

Beneath his feet was now a perfect Pentagram aglow with fire. _It had somehow emerged_….

Magnus’s eyes widened as he came to a realization. _THE MAGIC WANTED HIM TO GO TO EDOM._

“Wow, that just appeared from out of nowhere,” Alec said in awe.

Magnus began shaking his head furiously. “No,” he protested. “I won’t….”

_“Please,”_ Alec all but begged. 

_If you do this_, a voice in the back of his head stated, _the whole warehouse may explode. Unless you want the Shadowhunter to die also, you need to send him away. You don’t have much time, now the Pentagram has formed. As it is, you are already bordering on unstable, especially having forming the Pentagram. You’ve upset your balance of magic…_

Magnus then shut his eyes and put forth all his energy…the very last bit of it. 

Somehow a portal formed in front of them.

“Alec,” Magnus managed, as tears flowed down his cheeks, “You need to go, now. The place is moments away from becoming leveled. As it is, you won’t be able to make it out on foot. This portal leads to the Institute. Please just go there. Please…”

Magnus was pleading.

“Say hi to Izzy for me. Even Jace. Please give them my apologies for leaving like this…” He trailed off, unable to see too clearly now because of his tears.

Alec threw his arms around Magnus, kissing him within an inch of his life – throwing all of his love and strength into that kiss. Magnus kissed him back, as salty tears fell down his face. 

_A kiss for a lifetime, and then some…_

Magnus was the first one to pull away. He closed his eyes briefly. He prayed for the strength to endure what he had to do next ---

_”GO!” _

And with all his might, he shoved Alec – _HARD._

Alec’s eyes, dreamy just a moment before, took on the look of shock, and then incredulity, as he stumbled backwards, right into the portal. 

Magnus turned away, unable to witness the rest of it. He just needed to know that he had saved him….

_“I wasn’t ready, Magnus --!” _Alec shrieked at the top of his lungs, upon disappearing into the portal.

The portal then closed up, and disappeared.

_Alas, we would both never be ready, would we, love?_ Magnus thought despondently, feeling his heart breaking.

He wiped at the overflowing tears coming forth from his eyes with the back of his hand.

Okay, now he had to focus upon the task at hand.

Magnus could feel the reverberating of power throughout his veins, now rushing toward his head. It was crazy how much magic, how much power was surging through his body now. He wasn’t sure if he could withstand it, or if the pentagram would be able to pull him down quickly enough.

He quickly waved his hands in a flourish, lighting up the pentagram. 

He started feeling the fire from the pentagram’s pull…

He muttered a quick prayer to himself, then another spell to keep the pending explosion within his veins at bay, praying that the pentagram would pull him into Edom in time, before this Earth’s atmosphere made him burn to death. 

_Pleaseletthisworkpleaseletthisworkpleaseletthiswork…_

Ugh what a lesser of two evils… _Edom_. 

He never thought he would see the day that this would happen. _That he would wish to go ---_

At first, nothing happened. His heart nearly stopped.

But then he started to feel the pull. _Lillith, thank god_, he thought, feeling immensely relieved.

The pentagram continued to pull at him. He was now halfway through.

But as this was happening, the fire energy within him had already reached his head…and it was causing him great pain.

_WAIT, THIS WASN’T SUPPOSED TO HURT HIM –_

_Perhaps he had been extremely shortsighted about all of this…._

_“Arghhhh!”_ he screamed, holding his head with both hands. Red flares of magic – _his magic_ \-- suddenly surged from his head and both arms, striking several areas of the warehouse surrounding him…

…..

…..

_And I feel it running through my veins  
And I need that fire just to know that I'm awake  
Erased, I missed till the break of day  
And I need that fire just to know that I'm awake_

_……._

_…….._

In the distance, a warehouse suddenly exploded on the horizon, with the colors, smoke, and noise reverberating for miles…

A pair of hazel eyes widened in anguish at the sight of the explosion in the far distance.

He had found himself standing in front of the Institute after portaling.

_“NOOOOOO!”_ Alec screamed. That had been too soon! 

He had made it, hadn’t he? _Oh my angel. My Magnus, Nooooo!”_

Tears flowed out as he collapsed to his knees. 

_Oh my angel, my Magnus…oh god…_

_Did he survive? Oh god, I hope he survived. _

_My love…_

Alec threw his head back and screamed.

Screamed until his voice gave out. And even then, his heart and soul kept screaming, for his love that was no longer reachable to him. 

His heart began to bleed. 

And his legs were just about to give out…

Footsteps approached quickly, and then suddenly Isabelle was by his side.

“Alec, Alec!! I was looking all over for you. What is it, what’s wrong?” she cried. Alec looked devastated, like he had lost something so very precious to him.

“Magnus,” he sobbed. “He’s…he’s…” 

He blindly pointed to the smoking region in the far distance. He closed his eyes in anguish, and he heard Isabelle gasp.

“He made it, right? Right?” Isabelle cried.

“I-I don’t know!” Alec sobbed. “There’s a slim chance. But _still_ –”

He couldn’t continue.

They just held one another, crying into each other’s arms.

…………………………….

The remnants of the explosion served as a cruel reminder, a cruel taunt, lurking in the distance, with billowing dark clouds starting to form and spread across the horizon…

******************************

_Days later..._

_“...a fitting announcement of the departure of one of the greatest warlocks to walk the Earthly plane. From the very Earth that he had carefully made his home, and endured all possible hardships in order to gain acceptance and love. He had finally achieved this…only to be destined to an unknown fate._

_Godspeed, Magnus Bane.”_

_Eulogy written by Alexander Gideon Lightwood _  
_on this day for his dearly departed love, Magnus Bane._

………………………

Alec looked at the eulogy he had prepared, and signed with his name. 

_It felt weird to be writing this. But they all had to be prepared for the inevitable. _

As it was, he just came back from Idris, after facing down some really bullheaded Clave hierarchy, about having a memorial for Magnus.

He was the Head here, so he should have the say.

Others thought differently.

Well yea, he wasn't going to bow down to that. Not after all that he'd been through. 

He had stormed in there, nearly not caring if they had thrown him out, and just being really out of character.

And then... almost instantaneously, he had just broken down. 

Which was so embarrassing. But as he lifted his tear-filled gaze, Consul Jia Penhallow's face was one of empathy.

And so he walked out, his wishes granted.

It had been a mixed victory. He was happy that he had gotten what he had asked for. But devastated as to the reason behind it.

_Magnus was gone._

_They didn't even know what happened to him. _

Alec hoped, from the bottom of his heart, that Magnus had made it to Edom.

But, for now, as far as everyone here was concerned, Magnus was just...gone.

_Permanently_.

.....

Suddenly a spot of water landed on the paper. Alec shut his eyes in anguish, as more tears start spilling onto his cheeks, as he attempted to gasp for air.

_He couldn’t breathe. _

*********

_Everywhere I turn_ _  
Everything is changing  
Secrets starts to burn  
The pieces rearranging  
  
  
Everyone I knew  
Have turned away their faces  
I used to know the truth  
But all the lies erased it  
  
  
This could be the downfall  
This could be the end of everything we are  
This could be the downfall  
It feels like the whole world's tearing apart  
This could be the downfall  
  
  
Water turned to dust  
And hope has turned to aching  
No one left to trust  
All that's good is fading  
  
  
This could be the downfall  
This could be the end of everything we are  
This could be the downfall  
It feels like the whole world's tearing apart  
This could be the downfall_

*************

_Meanwhile_

Within a too familiar atmosphere, all red and dusty --- a vortex started to emerge. 

Then it opened, and a figure fell facefirst upon the ground, coughing. 

_“Oof!”_ Bleary-eyed, he lifted his head and peered around_. Man, that had been close. Too close…_

Magnus blinked. Yea, way too close. An odd weight on his left hand finger drew his attention. He looked down. His eyes widened in shock.

_The Lightwood ring. _

Wait, he actually accepted it? Hadn’t he turned it down? Hadn’t he told Alec no?

_And then it all came back to him._

Somehow, his magic had summoned the ring to him –

And then --- he remembered Alec’s tearstained face, with his eyes full of love, full of gratefulness that the ring had gone to him –

Only to turn to a look of utter heartbreak and betrayal when Magnus had pushed him through the portal –

It was too much, too much for him to think about right now…

He felt the tingling at his feet, yet again.

Looking down, his feet and legs were being swallowed by flames again. 

_He was going somewhere – where he needed to be, right now._

……………………

Ah, this looked familiar, he thought a moment later, as he remerged. The was the castle. Asmodeus’s castle.

It was time to face his father.

And there he saw him, standing by the far window, not facing him…

“_FATHER,”_ he spoke, his voice suddenly much darker than before. _Uh, when did that happen?_ he wondered faintly.

And then, around him, it seemed like all of Edom shook with that one word. Magnus even saw the Prince of Hell _flinch._

“Son.” Asmodeus suddenly whirled around to face him “What…are you doing here? I thought you were only too happy to remain on Earth,” he said in a carefully controlled tone of voice.

“Hello, Father. Well, looks like I’m home. And I’m here to stay,” he proclaimed.

As he said those words, he could feel the magic hitting its peak, spreading through his veins. A maniac grin spread across his face.

_Challenge,_ his blood whispered in his head. _Challenge him for the throne. You both can’t live. It’s either you or him._

Magnus could no longer fight the voices. He just felt an irresistible pull, in all directions. It appeared to lift him up and guide him.

His eyes flashed, just then – into _hellfire._

And…he saw his father _recoil._ And there was even fear in his father’s eyes. In a way that he had never seen before.

Asmodeus’s face paled, in the way that a Prince of Hell’s face would pale when faced with something devastating, an action with which there was no recourse, no way to win. 

He was sure that Asmodeus had never thought he would be faced with such an entity, or to be in such a situation.

_…lest it being his own son._

“Didn’t think I would be back, or that I would find out…about this new power of mine, eh?” Magnus taunted. “Well then…_MAY THE BEST ONE WIN. _And don’t worry, I expect you to defend yourself. In fact it would be quite the travesty if you didn’t…”

That did it. 

Asmodeus’s eyes narrowed. 

“So the prodigal son speaks. Such a pity. You were the best out of all my children, fit to rule by my side,” he replied coldly. “Well then. So be it, a_ challenge_. Don’t expect me to be gentle.”

“Wouldn’t dream of it,” Magnus shot back. And suddenly his voice was twice as dark than he had remembered. 

It reverberated in his ears, and the ominousness of it made him shiver.

Even Asmodeus winced.

And then there was suddenly the faint roaring of demons in the background, almost shrieking, a last desperate cry before being slaughtered.

Asmodeus’s eyes widened.

Magnus narrowed his eyes in turn. And then realization hit him. And he chuckled. 

“Oh, did I do that?” he said innocently. “My, my, now that’s a nice trick.”

Smirking, he now waved his hands in a flourish, randomly. 

And now a louder cacophony of shrieks seemed to come out from all directions. . And black clouds threatened to move in. 

He looked up, almost in wonder, as what his new power was able to command. Damn, he was almost impressed.

Defiantly he looked back at his father. 

Asmodeus had found some bravado, somewhere, while Magnus was admiring his handiwork. 

“Don’t get too confident, son,” he warned. “I did not become King by doing nothing. .I’ve paid my dues…”

“Including, training me when I first came down here with you,” Magnus said coldly. “I learned from the best. And now you will get to experience that, and then some. I’ve got a few tricks up my sleeve, yet. _DAD_.”

That last word was uttered with ultimate contempt, and it hung in the air between them.

“You…” Asmodeus snarled.

Magnus’s eyes blazed hellfire. And Asmodeus…just about recoiled. But only for a second, before regaining composure.

But that was enough time for Magnus to see it. The fear in his eyes.

And that, was more than enough. Asmodeus had lost his edge, which had for too long held Magnus at bay. Because he was always intimidated by the sheer presence and power of his father since their first meeting, and somehow, deep inside, he had never forgotten it.

But now – it was all gone. It had broken wide open.

This was all Magnus needed.

He was no longer afraid of Asmodeus. And, actually, come to think of it, he was no longer afraid of anything or anyone.

He had lost the love of his life. And getting back to him was practically impossible, at least for a long long time. Perhaps it would never happen. 

And like Lucifer said, the amount of time that type of magic would be enough in order to do so, he may not even be himself anymore.

So he was resigned to the fact, that he would just never see Alec again.

And that thought in itself, slammed into his heart so wildly it brought tears to his eyes.

And so, he allowed himself one brief moment – to mourn the loss of Alec, to mourn the absolute loss of the life that he’d known topside –

And, then – slowly – he lifted his face to face Asmodeus.

Who he no longer seen as proud, but rather, a being who was trying so desperately to hold on to the last thing that he had –

But he was no longer relevant. 

_They both couldn’t be here. They both couldn’t be on the throne. _

Asmodeus had known that. That was why he originally sent him back, choosing to be greedy and grab his new corrupted magic for himself. Only to find out that it wasn’t his to take…

This magic could only serve one master and one throne. 

_And it had chosen Magnus as a candidate, for better or for worse._

Asmodeus was glaring at him now, his gold cat eyes ablaze. 

“Okay, then,” he said darkly, as he willed all his red magic into his palms. “I’m tired of these waiting games. You’re getting everything I’ve got…”

Magnus’s gaze was suddenly upon those two glowing hands. He narrowed his eyes.

And suddenly he heard some dark voice, in the back of his mind.

_“Take what is yours, young one. Take it all the way.”’_

Magnus shuddered silently, as he felt the last vestiges of self-control dwindle away. The forces here were just too strong. They were also too enticing. A heady feeling started rushing through his veins – perhaps too sickeningly sweet –

But he was powerless to resist.

It did feel really good at the moment…

And then – Magnus felt magic automatically willing itself into his palms. He now stared at his hands, as if they weren’t his own. They were surrounded by dark, purple magic, sparkling and crackling.

_You are home now, Magnus…_

And then – Magnus_ blinked. _

Suddenly, that dark purple magic burst out from his hands, nearly throwing him off balance. Shocked, Magnus regained his balance, only to see that Asmodeus had shot out magic at him –first.

_Hmm so his magic had attempted to protect him.._

And so they battled, back and forth. Back and forth. It seemed to take forever.

The streams of magic seemed to equal one another, as they met exactly in the center, no one more powerful than the other.

There was great frustration on Asmodeus’s face, as he realized that he wasn’t powerful enough to overthrow Magnus’s magic.,

And Magnus…well he was trying to figure out how to best Asmodeus’s magic. Being in this dead heat, there was no use, whatsoever…

And..his mind started to wander, even as he mindlessly played this game back and forth with his father.

Suddenly, Alec’s face came into his head, and bled slowly from his heart.

The heartache hit him with such force, yet again, that he threw his head back and shrieked, as agonizing as any demon down in Edom ever could.

_HE WAS NEVER GOING TO SEE ALEC AGAIN ---_

And then, somehow…his magic suddenly pushed through. 

With that extra little push, enough to pave through Asmodeus’s defenses. It hit Asmodeus square in the chest.

Suddenly Asmodeus was lit ablaze where he stood, and unearthly screams from Edom – those of the higher demons in the realms – reverberated all around him.

He landed in a big heap on the ground, where he lay there, _motionless._

A dark shadow flitted across Magnus’s face, as he stared blankly at the crumpled heap that was his father.

A faint smile spread across his face. And then Magnus stumbled, badlly.

Staggering due to his depleted magic – and maybe it was just too much _\-- way too much_ –

_….this time._

And then…for a split second, the dark look in his eyes lift, to be replaced with a very sad gaze, perhaps the saddest one to ever to appear in those beautiful golden cat eyes.

“_G-Goodbye, Alexander_,” his voice came out in a rough whisper, barely inaudible.

HIs eyes rolled back, as he crumpled in a heap on the ground, his arms limp. 

His hand unraveled, and a shiny, silver thing rolled out and on the sand.

The Lightwood ring. _Belonging to one Magnus Bane. _

It blinked slowly…then slower still –

_Until it stopped…_

_Entirely._

And with that, the two Imperials, both lay on the ground, unresponsive --- a couple feet from one another. 

Edom for once, was _silenced._

…………………….

The alarms at the New York Institute were suddenly going haywire – three alarms of differing sounds and intensities, blaring like crazy.

Shadowhunters froze in their tracks, some new, others older -- looking at one another with wide-eyes. Now this was something they had never encountered before. 

Usually the alarm would sound whenever there were demons imminent.

_But…this was something different entirely._

“What’s going on?” someone asked. 

Behind them, Isabelle froze, as her heart plummeted. Her eyes flew to the main screen, off to the right side. They never had a reason to look at that, to have to monitor it. 

It was just a given that there would be no change there –

There was always some sort of governing presence in Edom there, whether it be Asmodeus, or even Lillith. 

But right now, especially with Lillith weakened by the Mark of Cain, months ago – Asmodeus in Edom but his status uncertain…

Because – _wait…._

_Hadn’t Alec mentioned that Magnus had to go to Edom in order to survive –_

_AND…_

Suddenly the potential reality of what happened, hit her all at once. Her hand flew to her mouth, as tears filled her eyes, threatening to spill.

_BY THE ANGEL, SHE NEEDED TO TELL ALEC. SOMEONE HAD TO GET ALEC._

_BEFORE HE SAW FOR HIMSELF –_

But even as her brain had registered all of this, suddenly her brother’s tall frame loomed before her. 

He stood there, frozen, his eyes staring to her right. Not even seeing her in front of him.

Just stared at that very monitor to the right. And his face was losing color by the second…

_THAT ALARM. WHICH NEVER, EVER, SINCE HE HAD BEEN HERE, EVER SINCE HE WAS SMALL –_

_IT HAD NEVER GONE OFF LIKE THIS BEFORE…_

_THIS MEANT ---_

_THERE WAS NO GROUNDING PRESENCE IN EDOM_, Alec’s brain faintly registered. 

_WHICH MEANT ---_

He suddenly felt incredibly sick to his stomach, like he had never felt before. 

And then, all the sounds disappeared around him, as a high pitched sound overcame his surroundings.

Almost like a mournful, desperate wail, toward something that could no longer ever be ---

_OR WAS THAT HIS OWN HEART SCREAMING…._

_NO! HE COULD NOT ACCEPT IT, NO HE COULDN’T HE JUST COULDN’T ---!_

That one last thread of hope Alec had been clutching at, despite all the evidence to the contrary –

In his mind’s eye, he saw it slipping through his grasp. And it was falling….

_HE BEGAN TO FALL ---_

And then, as his world slowly spun, then faster and faster, in a blur…as it faded around him --

…He didn’t even feel himself start to _physically_ _fall,_ or Isabelle or Jace’s frenzied shouts around him as footsteps started running toward him –

Or that he had already hit the floor -- all the strength, all the life had gone from him. 

As Isabelle and Jace attempted to push and prod at him, asking if he was okay, asking him to wake up. _He was numb to it all ---_

His world, his life -- as he knew it – was over.

All lingering sense of hope…_GONE_. Slipped away, right through his fingers.

_...it would never be okay ever again._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Epilogue to follow ~


	18. Epilogue: And Then....

_An unknown amount of time forward…_

_(roughly five to six months later on Earth)_

Not a sound could be heard across the dark, desolate landscape, except for the sands being tossed by the dry wind. 

Overall, the eerie silence was _jarring._

And then…

**_From the depths of darkness_**, a small red light, almost resembling a beacon in the distance, started to pulsate.

It was coming from a silver ring, lying among the red sands of wasteland.

A few feet away, a hand of one who had _fallen -- some_ unmeasurable amount of time ago -- moved…

Slightly. 

And…suddenly, that ring – _FLEW _— into that very hand.

The fingers closed around it, as if holding onto it for dear life. And an imperceptible sigh could be heard. 

It was as if he was waking from a very deep sleep. 

** _A soul…reborn._ **

_And THEN –_

Simultaneously, electricity crackled from that ring, shooting out in the opposite direction ---

Toward the other _fallen_ being –

_Its screams – HORRIFYING, AGONIZING SCREAMS – filled the Edomic sky. As it took its last breath –_

_AND THEN IT WAS GONE. FOR ETERNITY._

_Meanwhile, the electricity had rebounded -- BACK toward the bearer of the ring, making him screech in indignation and pain, scorching the very surface of his skin._

_As his metamorphosis slowly commenced... _

Above him, the skies roared with storms of triumph, as hellfires blazed with glory.

And the sound of shrieking demons could be heard, _once again._

_EDOM HAD RISEN AGAIN. _

_ _……………….__

_Topside_

In the New York Institute, a screen that had remained dark and quiet for what seemed like too long of a time, suddenly burst into life.

Almost simultaneously, a beat emerged onscreen – like that of someone’s heart – started flaring red.

It stuttered at first, and then it slowly strengthened – and then its firmed up its presence, as it beat –

_As STRONG as it was certain._

The only thing beating, in the still of the empty Ops Center, in the dead of night.

_To be discovered upon the dawn…._

_END OF PART ONE_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wanted to thank everyone from the bottom of my heart for following the fic to its end. I know this wasn't the easiest fic to read, but I poured my heart and soul into it, and it was great to hear your comments and thoughts along the way. I hope I did at least a decent job with the prompt i was given, even if it was in a pretty dramatic way.
> 
> Please look for the sequel in due time:  
_From the Depths of Darkness (Souls Are Reborn)_


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